"Felic—" Felicity slammed her hotel door in his face with a little more force than she meant to. Hopefully anyone else who was on their floor was out for the night or was in too deep a sleep to have heard the solid thud. She turned the lights out and crawled into her bed, ready to go dark to the world and not worry about the man who should be asleep in the next room over. Another round of sharp knocks told her he was definitely not asleep in the next room over and that he would be as persistent as ever. Felicity settled further into the covers and willed him to go away.
"Felicity, I obviously know you're in there. What if this was a work emergency?" The fact that he said what if informed her that this was definitely not a work emergency; it was a personal call. Silence met his voice so he knocked again. Huffing, Felicity rose out of her nice warm bed, turned the lights on, grabbed her robe, and went to the door. She threw the door opened and Ray had a look of slight disappointment. If he thought he was going to see anymore of her satiny pajamas, he had another thing coming!
"Ray, it's late—"
"I know it is—"
"So what do you want?" When Ray hesitated Felicity resisted the urge to huff and roll her eyes like a teenager. There was no need to have this conversation when they'd already hashed it out in the office, and had resorted to their incredibly formal working relations. Ray looked around for a second.
"Can I come inside? There's no reason to do this in the hallway."
'Oh yes there is.' Felicity thought quickly. If she let Ray into her room, she knew exactly how and where this conversation would end up: with them in a menagerie of positions not even a Cirque Du Soleil performer would naturally end up in. It was almost a law of physics that she and Ray could not be in the same room with an accessible surface and not do something sexual, and she had little desire to test that theory tonight. They stood there with that barrier between them that so simply represented their entire relationship. She could step into his light, or he could step into hers, either way they would be giving up something; for him it may be small, in fact she wasn't sure what he'd be giving up, but for her it would be monumental. It would be everything she worked so hard for. Felicity could feel generations of feminists barking in her ear, telling her they had fought too hard for her and her potential for her to end up as a slutty blonde secretary turned trophy wife.
Wife? Who'd ever said he wanted to marry her? And that would be the worst part wouldn't it? She would give up her reputation, her potential, her dreams, and for what? If he was Oliver she'd say hell no, because Oliver had shown her that he would always have one foot in the door and one foot out when it came to dating her, ready to run as quickly as he could notch an arrow; which was extremely fast. But that's what…frightened her about Ray. She knew nothing of his motives or his endgame. If it was purely sex, well he already got that, and could have it with any of the gorgeous women who wanted him; Lois Lane quickly popped to mind. As quickly as Lois filled her brain she was replaced by her mother, Donna Smoak. Despite their differences, Donna Smoak had always been a fighter, and if she taught Felicity anything, it was to fight for what you wanted. She wanted Ray, that was clear, but what did she want Ray as and what did Ray want her as? Felicity stopped her inner monologue and looked up at Ray. He seemed anxious, waiting for her reply.
"I am not the kind of woman you can throw money at and expect her to fall legs open for you."
"I have learned that." He chuckled a little, nervously rubbing the back of his neck.
"I'm not done yet." His eyes widened and his hand went to rest down at his side. "I don't have a clue to your motives, Ray. I don't know what you want from me or expect to happen. But I know what I want from my life. I want a husband and a family. I want a career that I built with my own hard work and integrity. If you think I am the CEO's personal play toy, if that is the limit of your respect for me, then I will call Bruce Wayne now and accept the job as Wayne Enterprises' assistant director of Applied Sciences and you will have my letter of resignation within the hour. If you have in mind a more substantial relationship, then show me what we both know: that I am worth more than an office tryst. Good night Mr. Palmer." She shut the door gently.
The rest of their trip was uneventful and Felicity was glad to be home. The first day back she'd slept the day away like a baby but rose uncharacteristically early the next morning; she assumed it had something to do with the time difference. Her boys had welcomed her back, asking her about the trip and Roy practically pleaded with her to never leave them with a grumpy Oliver again. She'd smiled and said she didn't plan on it anytime soon. Since they got back early on Friday morning, she hadn't been to work to see how she and Ray would react to each other; she finished her letter of resignation just in case. It felt good to be back down in the Foundry, helping catch Starling City's most wanted and Felicity wondered how much harder being a part of the team would be if she moved to Gotham. A gurgling sound threw off her typing and Felicity was a little surprised to see a pink baby jail, termed by Diggle as "the bassinet from hell", being moved over to her desk.
"How much did Oliver change while I was gone?" Felicity held in giggles as Diggle set the crib down by her. Sara gnawed happily on a plastic baby ring in her carrier.
"He's still not comfortable with it, but he can deal with it for 20 minutes until Carly gets off shift to come get her. She's been bugging me to let her see her niece."
"Is that awkward?" Diggle raised his eyebrow. "I mean your ex-girlfriend who is also your brother's widow wants to babysit your daughter with your ex-wife sort of girlfriend. Isn't that a little, I don't know, weird?"
"Well when you put it like that, yes it's a little weird. But Carly loves Sara, and it would be good for Sara and A.J. to have a little bonding time." Diggle unhooked the baby and laid her down in the crib. Sara gurgled and waved her arms and legs at the new freedom. Steps down the stairwell caused both of them to look up. They tried not to laugh at Oliver's face. She never thought she'd see the fearsome vigilante turned hero laid low but a scrumptious little baby.
"Diggle." Oliver looked at Sara as if she were a vicious dog about to bite his hand off.
"20 minutes Oliver. Jeez, you'd think she was a ticking time bomb the way you're so afraid of her."
"I'm not afraid of her," Oliver sulked. "I'm just not comfortable with a baby in the Foundry."
"Egad, just think, a baby who is just starting to lift her head, in the Foundry. What is the world coming to John? Next thing we know, Sara will be notching arrows and shooting tennis balls and running around Starling in a pink hood." Felicity and Diggle started laughing. Oliver cracked a tight lipped smile and shook his head. Felicity picked up Sara and her spit up blanket and rubbed noses with the little girl. Oliver felt his heart tug a little watching Felicity dodge Sara's slow grabby hands reaching for her dangling earring. He turned to see Diggle looking at him with a knowing smirk. He turned back quickly to the two girls of the Foundry.
"It's okay Sara. Uncle Oliver's just not good at expressing his very manly feelings to cute girls, and you little one, are very cute. He gets all nervous and stumbly around girls who don't immediately fall for his muscles and his smile." Felicity mumbled in a funny baby voice.
"I do not get nervous around girls." Oliver protested. Felicity couldn't keep a straight face long enough to reply.
"Mmhm, sure you don't. You're just the jealous type." Diggle chimed in. Oliver threw his hands up and walked towards the training dummies, leaving his friends laughing in good humor. Felicity hugged the powdery smelling baby and set her back in the crib so she could get to work. Diggle went over to the mat to start their session for the night. Roy walked in a little later and fell into the rhythm they'd carved out. At 20 minutes on the dot, Carly called Digg to say she was outside of Verdant. Diggle grabbed the baby and Roy grabbed the bassinet, leaving Oliver and Felicity alone for a few minutes.
"So, how was Gotham?" He leaned on her desk with his arms crossed, as relaxed as he could be after a quick sparring session.
"It was nice. I was fun to get a change of scenery for a little bit."
"Uh-huh. Now what else happened?"
"I don't know—"
"Felicity, I am the king of avoidance," He held up his hand to stop her laughter and whatever comment she was going to make that had to deal with his last name. "You're not very good at hiding when something's bothering you." Felicity sighed and Oliver waited patiently for her to talk.
"I got a job offer." Oliver's eyes widened. "To be the assistant director of Applied Sciences at Wayne Enterprises."
"Does Wayne know you have a record for blowing up Applied Sciences?" Felicity was so shocked that he actually cracked a joke.
"He'll see it on my résumé for sure." She smiled back. Oliver could see some sorrow in her eyes.
"But that's not what's bothering you, is it?"
"No," she shook her head. "I guess you could say I've had this rocky back and forth with someone, well actually 2 someones but one of those is over. Maybe Gotham would be a new new start for me."
"I can guess which someone I am, so who's the second someone?" Oliver looked as if he was struggling with the idea that she was involved with someone else.
"I think I'm gaining a type. Ray and I have… I don't know, but we have." Felicity looked at her computer screens. Oliver looked away at his Arrow uniform, then had to look away at something else that wasn't standing between them.
"Do you…love him?" Oliver was scared to hear her answer.
"No I don't, but I think I could." He didn't know if that was any better. The thought of Felicity being in love with someone else, someone who could give her almost everything he couldn't, hurt.
"How does he feel about you?" It was a dumb question, Oliver knew. What man wouldn't love her?
"I don't know." She whispered. Oliver tried to recall a time when he'd heard her so broken without there being a major catastrophe or tears streaming down her face. He put his hand on her shoulder and watched her look up at him, beautiful blue eyes twinkling with unshed tears.
"If he's as smart as they say he is, he'd be an idiot to let you go without a fight."
"Sounds like that's coming from experience." Felicity whispered. Many names could have flashed through her head of whom that experience could be coming from, Laurel, Sara, Mckenna, but for the first time she really felt as if he was talking about her, and only her.
"It is." He let his hand fall off his shoulder and walked towards the stairs to see if Diggle and Roy needed a hand. Before he climbed too far up, he turned and looked at the blonde with her chin supported by her laced fingers.
"If you think Gotham has what you need, than go. You're too remarkable to stay in a dying city with men who refuse to love you like they should." He trudged up the rest of the stairs. Felicity sat in the Foundry alone on a Sunday night, contemplating her options. While she had left the burden of proof up to Ray, Oliver had told her not to wait, but her mind told her it was all about timing. If she didn't give Ray the chance she could lose out on whatever could have been, but if she waited too long she could miss out on someone else or the possibilities Gotham had to offer. A small part of her said if she waited just a little longer maybe Oliver would come around, but she didn't want to spend the rest of her life waiting. A quote from the Clock King joined the millions of other ideas rushing through her head: "Timing is everything."