Chapter 4

If I had known what Jesse was about to get me to do I might've protested a bit more but something happened and I can't quite explain it.

I've never been one for exotic foods. And it took me a while but after thinking a lot about that night at the club I realized that when I kissed that guy it was blood that I couldn't place on his breath, the smell and taste of human blood.

I must've been his second for the night or third or fourth. That made me feel cheap and angry and a little sad. But lets not talk about that now. That's not important, not really.

When I asked Jesse about food he just sort of made this face I'd never seen before it was like he was excited but then when I told him that he went straight back to looking like he felt, pathetic, downtrodden, a monster of strange sadness and unbeatable cravings.

I imagined right away that he'd be taking me to some blood bank. I'd watched enough episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer to know that Vamps liked warm blood and fresh blood and blood from humans instead of animals.

But I guess that was showbiz. I never expected it to be so minimalistic and simple.

We sat around for a while. Jesse wouldn't explain what he had done when he left the room. Next thing I knew there was a delivery man at the door with a bag filled of who knew what.

Dead rabbits? Stolen blood donations? For a moment my mind reeled.

"What is it?!" I asked. I had to admit, I was a little excited.

"Sit," Jesse said. He pulled his desk chair out and I sat down and waited. Next thing I knew he pulled out a to-go container of what appeared to be some very normal soup. Well, next to normal.

"Soup?" I said. I was underwhelmed as you can very easily believed. Here I was hoping to go hunt someone down. Okay, not really, but come on… Take out?!

"It's not just any soup," he said. "It's Dinguan."

"Dinuguan?!" I said questioning him.

"There's blood in it," he said.

"Oh…" I tried not to seem as disappointed as I felt but let me tell you as soon as he used his hand to brush the smell of that soup towards my nose? Something happened to me, it was like a switch had been flipped. I felt my eyes grow wide and I was suddenly unbelievably ravenous.

Jesse had set some utensils down next to me but in my haste to feed I threw them off the desk and took to drinking the soup straight from the styrofoam like some sort of animal. I drank it so fast it must've only taken a solid minute.

When I was done I slammed the container down. There were little bits of animal meat and bone floating inside. I didn't know what I had just eaten really but I knew that I liked it.

"Wow," Jesse said. But he seemed amused by me. I wiped my mouth with my burnt arm and only realized after that I should not have done it because it stung.

"Holy crap," I said. I felt stronger. Instantly.

I stood up. I could feel the blood in me pulsing and rushing. I was alive. Really alive. Like more so than normal.

"It's weird right?" Jesse asked.

He stood back from me and just watched as I paced the room feeling adrenaline and strength. I felt as if I could jump an entire wall or lift a car. It was invigorating but I was too scared to test it out. What if I had super strength?!

"Soup." I said simply.

"Soup," Jesse said back.

I couldn't help it, I started to laugh.

"This is so weird," I reminded.

"It really is," he agreed.

"Okay well, anything else I should know?"

"It wears off fast. Dinguan. It's not human. I think we need human. And steak is better. Raw steak."

I walked to the bed and grabbed my purse. Raw steak sounded disgusting but I believed him now. I'd probably love it.

I could go now though. I could try.

Once I was at the door I hesitated and turned. "Does Beca know?"

He shook his head sadly. "I can't," he said.

"We'll beat this," I said.

"Hah," he laughed bitterly. "Ya know, I hope you're right."

"I have to be," I said. We didn't have time to think of this as forever.

"Chloe?" he asked, stopping me just as I was about to disappear from him again.

"Hmm?"

"Promise me you won't eat without me?"

"Okay," I said. But I wondered why.

"And… Don't get too close to anybody, alright? First few days," he said. "They can be touch and go."

I suddenly felt a world of sorrow for the lonely boy with the spiderman sheets. What would Beca do if he told her? She'd probably commit him. Or worse, just dump him straight away. At least if she committed him she'd come visit every now and again.

"Thanks Jesse," I said.

"See ya," he tried to be normal but it was obviously a lot to handle and he was uncomfortable about all of it, much more than I was myself.

"Wait!" He grabbed a big hoodie and handed it to me, followed by sunglasses that looked like ones you buy for cheap in the gas station. "Cover up at least. It'll help."

I had to get back.