A.N. Not that anyone particularly wants to know this, but I'm working a new job this year and it's incredibly time consuming in ways I never imagined which is why this story has lagged in updates so terribly. =/
It took another ten minutes to reach the cave the Savoh believed the Doctor to be in. Conversation between Rose and the Doctor had dried up, both lost in thought about what finding the Doctor meant for them.
Rose was ecstatic, she was finally going to have her husband back, not that they had been separated for all that long, but any separation was more than she was willing to deal with. But there was also this Doctor, the one she had lost twice and who she still missed in a quiet part of her heart, the part she thought also belonged to Bad Wolf. It would be hard, leaving him again, but at least this time, it would be her decision to go, not just being dumped off and sent packing.
The Doctor could find no happy feelings about the impending reunion. He didn't want Rose to leave, though he knew she had to. There couldn't be two Doctors in any universe and Rose would certainly want to return with her husband, which, wish as he might, he wasn't. But he wanted Rose happy, that's what mattered most, and the half him made her happy, so he wouldn't beg her to stay, he'd let her go and deal with the heartache all over again.
The Savoh spoke rapidly to the Doctor, pointing to the cave with their spears and making strange gestures above their bald blue and brown heads to indicate the one with spikey hair. The Doctor wasn't hard pressed to imagine how they would charade him, he knew there would be quite a few elongated chin motions and some for floppy hair. It wasn't exactly ego stroking.
Rose squeezed the Doctor's hand, looking up at him with excited worried eyes. "You don't have to come. I can go in by myself."
Hurt clenched around his hearts. She was trying to get rid of him already. "Do you not want me to?"
"No! I just thought . . . maybe because –"
He gave her a tight smile. "After you, Rose Tyler."
"Right," she nodded. Turning to the Savoh, she said, "Thank you. Thank you so much."
The aliens watched her with large brilliant blue eyes, it was eerie to look at really. Reminded Rose of her first time in space when she'd told the Doctor that they were all so alien. 'You just look at them, and they're alien.'
The Doctor translated her words of gratitude into Savoh and the aliens hissed and clicked that they needed no thanks, only for them to honor the deal by taking the spikey one away. The Doctor thought this was a mite rude after Rose had been so nice so he didn't translate exactly. "They say you're welcome."
With a final prod to the back, the Savoh watched as the Doctor and Rose approached the cave, hands still clasped. "Geronimo," the Doctor whispered.
Rose shot him a sideways look. "Geronimo?"
"Yes. Geronimo!" he said with more vigor though hardly any louder.
"Right . . ."
"Rose!"
"What?" she couldn't help the nervous-excited laughter that snuck through. Her husband was waiting in this creepy cave for her, they had really and truly found him, and right beside her was the Doctor being ridiculous. How could she not laugh?
"I saw Geronimo now, it's cool."
"Mhm, of course it is." The pat she gave his arm was decidedly patronizing.
The Doctor scowled into the dark as they entered the mouth of the cave. Reaching into his pocket, he withdrew his handy flashlight stick. It illuminated the space before them brightly, showcasing a myriad of dirt, cobwebs, and alarmingly large spiders.
Rose gave a small shriek, drawing closer to the Doctor until she was nestled tightly against his side. He had absolutely no qualms against this, loving her closeness for any of the scant remaining time between them.
"Seriously, Doctor, couldn't have picked a nicer spot for a lie-in?" Rose groused, side stepping something that looked far too questionable for her to begin questioning.
"Don't blame me, it's the human half that needs lie-ins, not the Time Lord." With a hand to the small of her back, the Doctor gently guided Rose through the increasing level of ick of the cave.
Part of him worried that this was nothing more than a trick on them by the Savoh, but seeing as their guards were huddled outside the cave staring blankly in with their anomalous wide blue pupils, it didn't seem a dangerous trick if it was one. Unless, of course, there was a dragon or something along those lines waiting for them in the cave instead of his half-self.
A dragon! He'd never encountered one before. It would be quite exciting if they did find one. Almost as exciting as the werewolf, speaking of, "Rose, do you remember Queen Victoria and the werewolf?"
"What?" she glanced at him from the corner of her eye, trying to keep her attention fixed on avoiding the grossness of the cave on all sides, overhead, and underfoot. "Yes, of course. Brilliant that was, minus the part where I almost got eaten while you were up dinning with the Queen not noticing a thing, and the part where we got cast out of England for all eternity, and the part where people died. But werewolf! Loved it." She grinned, tongue between her teeth, eyes bright with excitement long past.
"Ah, yes, minus those parts of course." The Doctor tugged uncomfortably at his bow tie. This regeneration specialized in forgetting all those negative bits, made the adventures more fun that way.
"Why'd you ask? Come across another one with River?" It was honest curiosity, and if there was a mild bit of jealous to her tone, then she was properly repaid when she bumped into the side of the cave and came away with her arm covered in sticky cobwebs.
Gagging, she jolted into the Doctor's side, flapping her arm in a vain attempt to rid it of the mess. Sighing, the Doctor turned her to him and swept the webs away with a firm stroke of his hand down her arm. Rose looked at him ruefully.
"You sure you don't have any pants in those pockets of yours? Could really use them about now."
Warmth spread from his hearts outwards. Out with Rose, adventuring Rose. This was how it was supposed to be. The two of them forever. "Nope. Sorry, I don't."
"Worth asking," she muttered, sticking closer to his side than ever, feet treading hesitantly in the oversized red flats.
"And River hasn't seen a werewolf. No, I was talking vampires." He studiously ignored the twinge of joy he felt at her jealous.
It wasn't alright to feel that way. Not when he'd been pleading with River to stay with him and her breaking things off better than he ever would. Breaking them off without making him feel like the awful git that he was. That was his River, always brilliant, always looking out for him. He'd never doubted that he didn't deserve her love and admiration; strange then that he never felt that way about Rose.
"Vampires?" asked Rose curiously. "Proper vampires?"
"Well, not proper-proper. Sexy-alien-fish-sucking-the-blood-out-of-beautiful-young-women-to-turn-them-into-more-alien-fish-so-they-could-make-alien-fish-babies-with-the-alien-fish-boys-in-the-pond vampires. Perception filters all around of course, but the effects were fairly convincing, had me going for a while. No reflections, vicious teeth. Didn't like it when I sat in her throne though. No, wasn't a fan of that."
He was rambling now, a good solid ramble. Rose smiled, enjoying the familiarity of it. She couldn't exactly imagine these alien fish. Especially not sexy alien fish. And she was a bit worried about the Doctor and his new found . . . appreciation for legs and sexy fish and beautiful women. Must have come about with the regeneration.
"Doctor?" she interrupted in the midst of his explanation of the device he used to save the day from the sexy alien vampire fish people.
"Hm – what?" he stumbled.
"Not that I don't love the sexy fish, because I do. Especially the vampire bit, wish I'd been there to see it with you. But I'd like to ask you something."
They were quite a ways into the cave now, following its natural curves as it took them further and further in. The Doctor kept his light stick held high to illuminate the path before them, shadows swallowing up each of their footprints as they moved forwards.
"You can ask me anything, Rose," he said quietly, eyes darting to and fro as he wondered what she wanted to know.
"Were you – were you alone when it happened?"
His shoulders tensed, his hand sliding from her back to clutch at her hand and guide her with him around a turn. "When what happened?"
Her right hand brushed his cheek. "This."
The Doctor's jaw tightened. He didn't want to talk about this. But this was Rose, and she asked so hesitantly, as if she didn't think he'd really tell her. "No, no, I wasn't alone, Rose Tyler. I was with you."
Her heart clenched in her chest, she squeezed his fingers tightly. "I should have followed you. Handsome bloke staggering about, promising me a great year . . ." she trailed off, the tears making it hard to swallow, but she was determined not to cry.
"No. You couldn't have done that, Rose. Would have ruined everything if you did. Reapers descending left and right as history was re-written, and I wouldn't change a second of the time I spent with you. Not a second of it."
Rose released a shaky breath. "I wouldn't change it either."
She hoped he saw what that meant, that he didn't change time, even at that last second when he was so alone, he let himself end, let the regeneration happen, because everything ends, and it had been his time, as hard as it was for her to ever imagine that she should lose one of her Doctors, blue eyes, brown, or green.
He thought it was unfair that she should live for so little an amount of time. And she thought it was unfair that he should have to change. But unlike the Doctor, that didn't stop her accepting him, that didn't stop her loving him. Whatever he changed into, she would have been by his side if he'd let her.