"For the last time, Emily, it's not irrational to be scared of werewolves!" JJ shouted earnestly, her slightly panicked voice seeming to be that much louder in the confines of her car. The white knuckled grip she had on the steering wheel tightened impossibly further and while Emily didn't laugh exactly, JJ could tell the loud sniff coming from the passengers seat was the brunette's attempt to stave off that very action. She pulled into a parking spot in the garage she had been slowly cruising through and shut the engine off.
"I don't know how many times we have to go through this," Emily said through a chuckle. "But we'll keep doing it as long as it takes, okay? That stuff isn't real, JJ."
"You don't know everything, Miss Skeptic." JJ said sourly, starting to lean over to check the gun she had in her glove compartment only to be halted by the entirely too amused look on Emily's face. "Not one word, Prentiss." she hissed, scowling when Emily let out a bark of laughter. She shoved Emily towards the passengers side window before getting out of her car herself. JJ ran a nervous hand through her hair and stood with her back to the plain cement wall in front of the car, eyes darting around to note where her closest exits were (which she told herself she was doing because of occupational habit).
It was well after eleven and while the mostly full lot could attest that that wasn't terribly late for a Saturday night, the garage was silent except for the low hum of the sickly yellow-white fluorescent tube lights overhead and the quiet passing of cars on the street above them. JJ knew that this outcome had been a possibility long before they'd even been seated in the theatre. She didn't really know what it was about supernatural monsters, but they just got to her. Part of her blamed growing up in a tiny community in Allegheny County where the intensity of most people's religious beliefs were directly proportional to how willing they were to believe and enforce that problems could be caused by demons and the other part of her blamed having an older brother who would delight in concocting new and fascinating (and plausible) reasons why that creak in the attic was the angry spirit of a possessed killer from the 1800s murdered by an angry mob and not raccoons. There was actually a reason, after all, that she was afraid of the woods.
JJ wasn't a woman prone to hysterics and since her late teens at most, she could have counted on one hand the number of times she automatically jumped to a supernatural conclusion for something initially inexplicable that frightened her. There was something about movies that just stuck her right back in that susceptible mindset. It was a safe gamble a lot of the time. If the plot elements weren't believable enough, she'd be fine. If the special effects were too unrealistic or too laughable, there weren't many problems. Given the production quality of most supernaturally themed films, the only movies she really preceded with caution on were ones dealing with hauntings and possession (it was amazing what you could do on no budget when your monster was supposed to be invisible). Past experience dictated that werewolves should have been no big deal but this goddamn movie they'd spent the last two hours engrossed in had been a near masterpiece. Which was great from an entertainment standpoint and JJ had really loved the movie, but it also meant she was scared, irrationally paranoid, and ready to fight anyone who tried to insinuate she was either of those things.
She hadn't even really gotten to participate in their little plot-twist game because she'd spent less time trying to figure out twists and more time trying to mentally deconstruct the mythology the movie built up to verify that it wouldn't work in the real world. JJ had spent the whole movie alternating between cutting off the circulation in Emily's upper arm under the death grip she had on it, burying her face in the brunette's shoulder, or trying not to whimper out loud in the worst kind of frustration when Emily ducked her head to whisper some plot-twist theory in her ear in French because she forgot she was supposed to be speaking English. Really JJ only had herself to blame, but damned if she was going to do that.
The door slamming when Emily finally pulled herself out of the car caused JJ to jump and her right hand to shoot automatically to her hip where her gun normally sat. She glared at the brunette who had a broad smile on her face and was casually strolling over to meet her. "I hate you so much." JJ seethed, shrugging her shoulders roughly when Emily put an arm around her and while Emily dropped her arm, she was still laughing, completely unperturbed by the brush off.
"JJ, I've seen you less shaken at crime scenes with the same level of blood and torture that we just saw. And that stuff actually happened." Emily reminded her. "But you always get like this with these movies."
"Yes," JJ agreed testily, setting a quick pace as they made their way out of the parking garage. "But a vengeful spirit who's impossible to please has never been our unsub, has it, Emily? We can catch those guys we go after. Do you know how to catch a werewolf, Emily? Because I don't. Anyway, silver bullets are impractical as shit." She bumped heavily and purposely into Emily's side when the brunette started laughing again. "Think about that for a second, Em. Shape shifting, undead, immortal unsubs." She shivered. "Fuck." JJ glared at Emily who had briefly pulled her into a side hug, probably to distract her from the look of pure glee at her pain. "Shut-up, Emily," she grumbled. "Whatever you're going to say, shut-up." They both knew there was no real anger behind the words, mostly because JJ was legitimately anxious and Emily felt safe.
JJ knew she was being beyond childish; she didn't care. Every shadow looked like it held dangerous secrets she didn't have the knowledge to fight and every time she closed her eyes, even to blink, terrifying images from the movie would flash through her mind: blood and claws and bone and screaming. As annoyed as she was at Emily's penchant for pestering her about her (admittedly) ridiculous fears every time the opportunity presented itself, JJ still trusted her enough to let herself be as irrationally scared as she was going to be around Emily. For as much teasing as Emily heaped on her, JJ could always count on the brunette being observably extra vigilant without being patronizing and the good-natured tormenting never approached the boundary of anything but lighthearted. Which was honestly more than she could say for Garcia sometimes, but the hacker got a pass because she didn't mean anything malicious either and poor Garcia frequently ended up on the receiving end of JJ's panicked 'I'm home alone and too freaked out to go to sleep so now you have to come over and stay the night talk to me until the world makes sense' calls.
Somewhere in the distance a dog howled and while it didn't sound anything like a wolf, an unpleasant shiver rippled up JJ's spine anyway. "Are you kidding me?" she groaned, immediately clutching Emily's arm both hands. "When have you ever heard a dog howl anywhere near Crystal City?" JJ frowned before mumbling, "I bet it's not even a dog. Over two hundred thousand people in a major metropolitan area and we're going to get mauled to death by David Kessler."
Emily gently pat the hand JJ had gripped tightly around her upper arm and while her face was nothing but amused, the action wasn't condescending in the slightest, which caused the blonde to relax a bit, relaxing her hold but keeping herself pressed into Emily's side. "Come on, Jennifer," she said in a soothing tone. "You know that can't happen in real life. Let's just focus on how absurd the idea is instead?"
"That's what they'd want us to think, Em!" JJ insisted. "That's how those things work, you know?" she retightened her grip on the older woman's arm. "Anyone could be some kind of… monster in waiting!"
"Anyone?" Emily asked interestedly. She really didn't mean to give JJ's unrealistic anxieties a stage, but experience said that for at least the next eight hours, JJ was going to be jumpy and illogical no matter what happened. And it wasn't Emily's fault if JJ was violently adorable when she was spinning off on tangents about the plausibility of the existence of murderous shape shifters or unappeasable spirits. Wrong though it may have been, Emily was perfectly agreeable to taking any potential karmic loss for her part in lending fodder to her friend's childish fears whenever she was able.
"Anyone." JJ confirmed. "Have you seen Rossi after a night out with the team?"
"Rossi?" Emily laughed. She tried very desperately not to focus on the fact that the hand JJ had wrapped around her upper arm had slid down to her forearm just above her wrist, or that the blonde was still anchoring herself to her side with her other hand near her elbow.
"I swear, sometimes I think the only reason he has a mansion is to escape angry villagers." She muttered, pulling Emily across the street quickly before the light changed. "Hotch is obviously some kind of demon tamer." She continued thoughtfully, calming down more as they made their way into a crowded restaurant and reluctantly letting go of Emily now that they were in a more secure space. "Morgan is a textbook satyr or incubus or something. Garcia is some kind of…" she waved a hand in the air trying to help her thoughts along. "Benevolent techno-witch, and if you try to tell me Spence isn't one bad day from creating his own monster, we're going to fight."
Emily laughed and raised her eyebrows in question. "Is that right?" she asked lightly. "So what am I then?"
JJ felt her face flush and her mouth opened slightly to offer an answer even though she was still trying to figure out something to say that didn't sound as sexual as the word vampire did echoing around in her head with all the terrible (amazing) tangential thoughts that brought with it.
"How many?" a cheerful voice nearby said, drawing JJ's grateful attention.
"Two," she told the hostess quickly, shoving her hands into the pockets of her hoodie and following the stocky woman through the crowded restaurant.
"Oh shit." Emily whispered suddenly next to her while they were bottlenecked near the bar.
JJ turned to look at the brunette in concern over her tone only to find Emily ducking her head and trying to look inconspicuous. "Em?" JJ asked, compelled to keep her voice down even though the restaurant was plenty loud enough for no one to overhear them.
Emily cringed, her eyes darting towards the grouping of high tables situated near the highly polished bar counter. "Near the bar," she said. "Second table from the left."
JJ's gaze drifted over to where Emily had indicated, landing on a rather rambunctious group occupying two tables pushed together but she could see immediately what (or rather who) Emily was talking about. Facing their direction but clearly having not seen them was a tall, graceful looking woman with a well-tamed mop of light brown curls nodding intently at whatever the man across from her was saying. JJ averted her gaze quickly as if resting it too long on the woman would alert her to their presence and smiled tightly at the hostess as she gestured to a table not nearly far enough away from where she'd just been looking.
"What's Miranda doing here?" JJ asked lowly. It wasn't like they were off the beaten path and Emily's ex did work in the area, but it was midnight on a Saturday and she lived clear over by Annapolis.
"No idea." Emily replied, sliding into the seat across from JJ. "I try to talk to her as little as possible, honestly."
"We only just sat down," JJ pointed out. "We can go someplace else."
Emily sighed and shook her head, reaching for one of the menus that had been left for them. "We're already here," she pointed out, glancing over her options. "And this is the only place that makes those horrific fried banana peanut butter sundaes you like. Besides, it's not like we're at one of Mother's functions so I don't have to carry on a conversation even if she does see us."
Emily often cited Miranda's very vocal distaste for her career as to why she ended things with the program specialist, but it was a bit more complicated than that. Garcia and JJ were really the only ones who knew why their relationship was doomed fairly soon after it had started. Emily really felt she should have known better given her mother had been the one to introduce them. Elizabeth Prentiss had had exactly zero reaction to her daughter's sexuality until she was twenty at which point the Ambassador felt utterly at ease using Emily's proclivities as a way to court politicians she was trying to gain favour from who had daughters or nieces of a similar 'alternative lifestyle.'
Once Emily had very spectacularly embarrassed her mother and besmirched the family name by not only willfully staying away from the political arena but openly detesting it, she was hopeful her mother would stop trying to pair her off in a way that would benefit the Ambassador's position in some way. While it certainly didn't stop, Emily wasn't as subjected to her mother's ill-advised attempts at matchmaking nearly as often. So when it did happen, she dutifully took out whatever poor woman had been conned into the ordeal and if they didn't already have an understanding of what was going on, she spelled it out for them. She'd try to have a good time (and sometimes she had a very good time) and usually they'd part ways amicably after a few dates only to ever cross paths at whatever dinner or fundraiser her mother got it set in her mind that Emily simply had to make an appearance at.
That had been the plan with Miranda as well. Elizabeth had been especially enthusiastic about her, which should have been Emily's first and only clue. Not only was Miranda from 'good stock,' being the favourite niece of some muckety-muck in the French National Assembly that Elizabeth had had a long political relationship with, but like Emily, Miranda had chosen an 'unconventional' career path rather than the one her family had meticulously tried to set her on. Emily thought that maybe that would have given them more in common than what she usually had with the women her mother tried to set her up with, and at first, it sort of had.
Miranda seemed like a nice enough person on the surface but her chronically haughty attitude and casual disdain for any class outside 'upper' were exactly the kind of things Emily was trying to avoid in people associated with that social strata where unchecked privilege was rampant and encouraged. Miranda thought that Emily's passion for what she did at the BAU was 'cute' but 'clearly' something she couldn't be planning on doing indefinitely (Miranda herself readily admitted that she only had a federal job because it was 'something neat to do'). Emily had held her tongue for the most part. With her job being what it was, they didn't get to see each other as regularly as Miranda would have liked (which suited Emily fine) but once the lanky brunette had started harping on not just her job, but on her family, Emily had stopped putting effort into the relationship until that final straw.
Emily honestly would have been totally fine with just a physical arrangement. So long as she didn't engage Miranda in conversations that made her want to argue with the woman (the subjects of which were many and varied), she enjoyed Miranda's company just fine. But after nearly four months and that final argument, Emily had done the merciful thing and put the relationship out of its misery. There had been too many topics that were veritable minefields to navigate (for her anyway, as Miranda was quite adept at willful ignorance), there was too little they actually had in common to the point that Emily very quickly found herself nearly relieved when a case interrupt their plans. Miranda had made it clear that she was fine with and even enthusiastic about the state of their relationship, her only qualms being how little time they actually spent together. For Emily, there was no way she was ever going to let herself get locked into a relationship where all they truly had in common was the number of digits in the balance of their chequing accounts and ability to give each other orgasms.
Once it became clear that Miranda was going to keep pressing for some kind of reconciliation after she broke it off, Emily had let communication taper off to nothing outside of necessity in the hopes that the other woman's feelings would atrophy but she hadn't quite had the opportunity to fully test the results yet. It might have been a tad cold, but she didn't know what else she was supposed to do. The place was crowded and she'd had a fabulous night so far, there was no reason to believe that it couldn't continue that way. She wasn't going to let a hypothetical encounter stress her out. Not when there was more than enough reason to keep her thoughts away from Miranda right in front of her.
"Hey Jay," Emily said lowly, leaning across the table conspiratorially and drawing the blonde's eyes up from her menu.
"What?" JJ asked cautiously, knowing enough by the mirth on Emily's face that she had every right to by wary.
"They have a new drink here you should try…" she trailed off and looked down at her menu again like she was verifying the ingredients before lifting her head to grin at her friend. "Yeah, it's great. It's called a wolf bite and it's made with Jacob's Ghost."
It was easy to laugh in the relative safety of a well-lit restaurant with people talking jovially all around them so JJ did, despite trying to fix her face into a glower. "Go ahead and be a jerk if you want," she scoffed, flicking her index and thumb against Emily's hand as a way to encourage her to sit back again. "But I'm the one who's driving and if you keep that up, I'm just going home and you can catch a cab from there after you've consecrated every room and I've fallen asleep."
"Joke's on you, Jareau." Emily rolled her eyes and huffed out a snicker as she sat back. "They don't give excommunicated Catholics blessing powers." She tilted her head thoughtfully. "Depending on who you ask, I'm actually probably more likely to let demons in your house than keep them out."
"I'm okay with taking my chances on that one." JJ said, avoiding eye contact by not looking up from her menu again. There was a fine line JJ felt like she was constantly balancing on when flirting with Emily. Sometimes she didn't know when her actual feelings would swim to the surface to colour her tone or her gaze until the words were already leaving her mouth. Even the most ridiculous things could suddenly be heavy with way more than she intended (or wanted) to let out.
"Better the devil you know?" Emily grinned.
"Better the devil I know protect me from the ones I don't, if she knows what's good for her." JJ elaborated, absentmindedly using her pinky to toy with the corner of her lower lip. She didn't quite feel like she was being stared at but JJ was compelled to lift her eyes anyway, unsurprised when she met Emily's gaze smiling slightly.
Something passed between them then, just a small something. It wasn't anything that JJ hadn't felt before, but there was something different in the way Emily's face softened that made her stomach flip pleasantly. Whatever it was, it was gone in an instant as an effervescent waiter came by to take their orders. The only way JJ knew for sure she had even seen something was the fact that Emily's expression closed up and JJ frowned, wondering if she'd done something to make the other woman uncomfortable. She was about to inquire about it after the waiter left them with a charming smile and the promise to be right back with their drinks when an excited voice with a melodic lilt called out:
"Emmy!"
Both JJ and Emily cringed at the nickname and turned to see Miranda picking her way towards their table, obviously on her way back from the restrooms at the other end of the restaurant. JJ watched with no small amount of fascination as Emily's whole demeanor changed as she stood up smoothly to press her cheeks quickly to either side of taller woman's.
"Hello, Andi." Emily greeted, and though she'd used Miranda's nickname and was smiling, there was nothing casual in Emily's voice. Absolutely nothing untoward either, but as far as JJ was concerned, Emily had managed to say 'Good evening, Miss Bernard'through tone alone. Emily did have an incredible knack for that kind of thing and the blonde frequently found herself wondering if it was just part of Emily's personality or a trick she picked up while learning different languages.
JJ had often seen the switchover from Emily to Agent Prentiss, but she could reconcile those two aspects of her friend together because they fit easily into what JJ knew of her. It was the switch from Emily to Ambassador Prentiss' Daughter that was always a little surreal. For as much as she hated everything to do with it, JJ thought Emily would have made one hell of a politician.
"Oh Emmy, I thought that was you!" Miranda enthused either not catching or outright ignoring Emily's tone. She glanced over at JJ only when Emily gracefully—with almost unnaturally precise movements—took her seat again. "And Jennifer as well!"
Miranda wasn't as skilled at the undertone game as Emily was and JJ couldn't have missed the 'I see Emily's still slumming' if she'd tried (and she had).
"Please, Miranda, just JJ." She corrected automatically, her own persona slipping easily into the friendly but aloof front she used at work. She hadn't seen this woman in over two months and already she could feel irritation bubbling just barely under the surface. It wasn't just the continued use of her full name, which JJ tolerated with any regularity from only a very tiny pool of people (of which Miranda certainly was not a member), but given what JJ knew of her, there was literally nothing that endeared Miranda to her. Apparently her brain decided that was way more than enough to not mask the dislike she had for the svelte brunette.
"Of course." Miranda said dismissively, flashing what JJ guessed was supposed to be a winsome smile at her before turning her attention to Emily. "I haven't seen you in a while," she continued cheerfully enough. "I've been wanting…" she looked briefly over at JJ. "To apologize for things…you look good." JJ had always felt that Miranda was looking down at everyone, even when meeting their gaze levelly (and she hadn't been wrong), but whatever urbane pretentiousness tightened her features loosened a little and instead she looked almost nervous.
"You do too." Emily replied, her voice still holding an over enunciated quality to it, but she seemed sincere. "I'm sorry I missed you at Mother's fundraiser last week."
JJ was sure she heard 'Yes, I still work with the BAU and I'm glad we had a case in Idaho then' though she wasn't sure at all if Emily was glad that she'd escaped going to one of the Ambassador's biannual banquets that were held in DC or if she was glad she'd missed seeing Miranda, or if it was some combination between the two. JJ suddenly felt herself fill with the overwhelming compulsion to very curtly tell Miranda to get lost and frowned internally at the notion. Her automatic thought was that the irritation was grounded in what she knew of Miranda—how the woman thought of Emily's job and Emily's friends—but that wasn't quite it, she just couldn't put her finger on it. Whatever it was, it was incredibly uncomfortable and she resisted the urge to fidget to try and expel some of the tenseness starting to coil within her.
Miranda nodded a little distractedly as if she'd caught the first part of Emily's implied meaning but was still trying to work out the second. "My uncle would have loved to see you again. He left me with wishes to pass along his greetings and a box of Gauloises brunes, which of course made me think of you…"
JJ didn't know what it was Miranda had gotten, but she watched with mild interest as the woman's head ducked slightly, her face flushing as she tucked a group of large ringlets behind one ear when they fell forward. Curiosity overcoming her, JJ quickly moved her gaze to Emily and was surprised to see that her detached Daughter of Ambassador Prentiss façade had gone and Emily had a sort of nostalgic warmth to her eyes, the hint of a small but earnestly alluring smile on her face. When Emily pulled her bottom lip between her teeth briefly and gave Miranda a subtle appraisal, a painful jolt of energy burst hotly within JJ and she could finally put a real name to the earlier irritation. She was jealous.
JJ wasn't a jealous person by nature; not really anyway, but especially not with people she wasn't even dating. It wasn't like she'd never seen Emily with anyone else romantically before. Hell, it wasn't as if she'd never seen Emily with Miranda before either; but there was something bout right now that was just…oh shit, she thought as the epiphany crashed into her. She got it now. She was so stupid. They'd sent Garcia and Morgan off together and it really hadn't registered with JJ that at some point after that, her subconscious had decided she and Emily were on a date, but it had. She was jealous because there was her date making prurient doe-eyes at someone who wasn't her. Alarm bells were going off in her head and they all sounded like her own voice yelling: 'get out of here right now before you fuck this up' in a shrill panic. The sudden urge to get away for a minute flooded her so effectively that she stood up abruptly; fast enough that had she not been fighting off the anxiety of feeling like she was intruding on something coupled with the fear that she was going to do or say something irrevocable, she might have actually been embarrassed.
As it was, the second JJ started rising out of her seat, fast though she'd been, Emily was already looking at her with concern clouding her features. JJ shook her head tightly, too abashed and distressed with herself to even look the brunette in the eye. She barely heard herself mumble an excuse about forgetting to check on something with Garcia and that she'd be right back before moving briskly towards the exit, already pulling her phone out of her pocket and pulling up Penelope's number.
Once a few paces away from the door, she turned to make sure Emily wasn't going to come after her to see what was wrong and satisfied that she was going to be left alone, JJ moved further down the sidewalk, trying to remind herself to take even breaths while pressing the call button. Leaning against the side of the building, JJ pressed a palm over her eyes and anxiously repeated 'pick up' into the phone as it rang.
"Goddess R Us," Garcia chirped happily. "Supreme deity of multiple pantheons speaking."
"Penny, I screwed up." JJ rushed out, ignoring her friend's typically flamboyant greeting. "I screwed this up so badand you have to help me fix this because I don't know how and honestly I can't believe I could be so stupid,"
"JJ," Garcia cut in worriedly. "What happened, gumdrop? I promise I'll help you but you have to calm down and actually tell me what it is you need help with." JJ sounded like she typically did after some supernatural movie got to her and though Penelope had been anticipating the Freak Out Call that usually happened in those cases, she was sure that wasn't going to come until much later since JJ was supposed to still be out with Emily. A not so small part of her had hoped that JJ wouldn't have had cause to call her at all that night. "Did something bad happen with Emily?"
"No!" JJ insisted quickly. "Yes, no," she groaned in frustration with her own anxiety and squeezed her eyes shut behind her hand. "I don't know." She took a deep breath and moved her hand from her now opened eyes to her mouth, hoping to stem the stream of words that wanted to pour forth in a panicked babble.
"I need more than that to go on, sweetie." Garcia prodded with gentle concern.
JJ dropped her hand away from her face, unable to push away the feeling that she was screaming internally with dread. "I think we'reon a date." She finally ground out, the hand holding her phone jerking away from her ear quickly as her friend let out the loudest squeal JJ had ever heard (and she'd been to her niece's fifth birthday party).
It only made JJ want to freak out more and she hurried to squash the misunderstanding.
"No no no, Pen." She jumped in, pressing her phone back to her ear once the joyous yelling subsided. "I think we're on a date." JJ repeated with reemphasis, pressing the knuckles of her free hand to her cheek to make nervously worrying her lower lip with her fingers easier.
"You've lost me, Jayje." Garcia said a little breathlessly. "Take some deep breaths and tell me what's going on."
JJ nodded even though Garcia couldn't see her and did as she was told, trying to gather her racing thoughts into something linear. "I couldn't let it just be two friends hanging out, could I?" she said, exasperation starting to edge into the clear tone of panic that had been in her voice. "It's just with the movie and going to dinner and before our waiter came she, at least I think… God, I didn't even realize I thought it was a date, Penny! Not until Miranda showed up and I had to get out of there before I said or did something incredibly stupid."
"Wait, Miranda?" JJ could hear not just the frown but also the distaste in Garcia's voice. "When did she deign the human realm good enough to descend from Mount Olympus and mix with commoners?"
JJ threw up her free hand away from her face in an exaggerated shrug before dropping it heavily to her side. "I don't know! But I do know that when Emily was checking her out, I was jealous that she was looking at Bambi Moneybags like that and not me!"
Penelope wanted to laugh at the use of the nickname she'd inadvertently (but very delightedly) gotten to stick to Miranda, but the distress in JJ's voice kept her from doing so. "Okay, well if Emily was eyeballing her, are you sure you're not just freaking out because they might get back together?" as unlikely as she felt that scenario was, she wanted to hand JJ any reason she could think of to lower her anxiety and the note of disappointed concern in her own voice wasn't entirely on JJ's behalf.
"Don't be ridiculous," JJ replied immediately, picking up on Garcia's discomfort. "Em loves herself too much to keep putting up with that. She loves you especially too much to keep putting up with that." She shook her head. "You and I both know that the only appeal leftover is physical, and no one with eyes can fault her for that."
Penelope nodded on her end of the line and let out a sigh of relief. "Right, you're right." She paused for a moment, latching onto the specific wording JJ had used. Jealous. That was a new development as far as Garcia knew (and she knew everything). JJ and Emily had never distanced themselves from each other when they were dating someone and as a result, Garcia had been privy to JJ experiencing a lot of different emotions when Emily had a girlfriend. Primarily: longing for the brunette, frustration that her feelings didn't want to fade away, worry that Emily wouldn't be treated well enough, concern for Emily's happiness, guilt when she was feeling those things and was in a relationship herself—but jealousy was new. No wonder JJ was so off-kilter. "You're sure this was actual jealousy?"
JJ sucked in a sharp breath, feeling like her lungs were refusing to fill all the way despite the fact that she'd been standing still since Penelope had answered the phone. "This was… committed relationship level jealousy." She confirmed dejectedly with a wince. "This hasn't happened before. I've definitely stepped in it this time." She lifted her gaze towards the clouded night sky, murky and purple with light pollution. "What a disaster."
"What's so terrible?" Garcia soothed diplomatically, mentally angling out the situation as rapidly as she could. "Since you thought it was a date without conscious thought, that means the whole night would have been dateish, right?" she knew JJ would argue with her so she didn't wait for the other blonde to answer. "Of course it was. I know you, and silver tongued though you are, you couldn't talk yourself into thinking you're on a date when you're not. Stab in the dark here, kitten, but I'll bet half the contents of my hard drive that Emily thinks so too; at the very least, in the same subconscious way or there wouldn't be anything for you to confuse."
JJ scowled. "Don't say things like that," she pleaded. "I'm in pain." She was about to elaborate when an important thought floated into her mind. "Oh shit, Pen."
"What?" Garcia prodded curiously, smiling slightly at the tone in her friend's voice. JJ was still obviously brimming with nervousness (and Garcia expected some embarrassment as well), but there was a note of hope in her voice that hadn't been there before.
JJ took another steadying breath and let it out noisily, not sure if she was truly on to something or just confusing herself. "Just before Miranda came over there was…and, maybe I'm making this up, but there was this something, right?" she shook her head again upon realizing that she sounded like she wanted Penelope to agree with her. Which wasn't terribly far from the truth, but Garcia hadn't been there. "I just mean that there was something in the way Em was looking at me and it was different, it was like…" JJ swallowed hard, her eyes going wide as fresh adrenaline coursed through her. "Oh shit, Pen. We're on a date.
What do I do? She hasn't been with anyone since she broke up with Miranda, and we haven't been alone together since before then so what if this is just…convenient? This could just be circumstantial, couldn't it? I could be anyone suitable. What if it doesn't mean anything? I can't deal with meaninglessness, Penelope. Not with her."
"Jayje, stop." Garcia commanded firmly. Letting JJ just air her anxieties was typically the best course of action in Garcia's opinion because JJ could usually talk some sense into herself and really she just needed a sounding board and someone to keep her focused, but Garcia had heard quite enough to know that that wasn't going to be the case this time. "You're being silly, and you know it. Emily loves you and you know there's no such thing as 'meaningless' to her in any respect once she lets someone in." She, of course, meant that Emily was in love with her, but knew that JJ would take it differently even before the sentence was fully out of her mouth. Still, Garcia decided now was not the time to press on the reality of the brunette's affections. That was something JJ apparently needed to hear in no uncertain terms from Emily herself before she would believe it.
JJ sighed heavily and nodded, running a hand through her hair. "Honestly, that feels almost worse for some reason. I think…" she took a tremulous breath. "Just for a second, if we hadn't been interrupted, I felt like something might have," JJ interrupted herself to clear her throat, welling up with sudden resolve that seemed to come out of nowhere. "I'm going to talk to her." She held the phone away from her head as her friend squealed again.
"I'm so proud of you!" Garcia gushed. "This is going to be great! What are you going to say? What changed your mind?" she managed to just barely stop herself from saying that she couldn't wait to tell Morgan.
JJ swallowed dryly, her heart still hammering violently in her chest. "Whatever I saw, it might not have been anything serious…but I'm pretty sure I didn't imagine it. Even, even if she doesn't, if she's not…" she cringed; she didn't even want to say it out loud. "Even if we're not on the same page…emotionally, there was something to talk about." She plowed forward before Garcia could try to deafen her again. "Don't get excited, Pen. I'm not going to tell her. She definitely doesn't need to know I'm in love with her; this could still be nothing, wishful thinking, you know? But if it's not, even if it just," she shrugged helplessly. "Fizzles out in the long run, at least it's something, right?"
"Fizzles?" Garcia scoffed and hoped how hard she was rolling her eyes was conveyed over the connection. "JJ, please. You're one of the most confident people I know but when it comes to Emily? You're worse than an awkward teenager with their first real crush." She ignored the indignant snort on the other end of the line. "Don't get me wrong, it's senselessly adorable, but you're killing me here, angel. You chase serial killers with less hesitation."
"I can shoot serial killers. They're less intimidating." JJ huffed. "And they at least make more sense than," she waved her hand vaguely, hoping to pull out a word that could summarize her emotional tumult. "This. Cut me some slack."
"Have I not been doing that for the last two years?"
"No, you really haven't." JJ laughed lightly. "Look, while I was mortifying myself, I said I was coming out here to check on something with you and I need to have something to say when I go back because we both know Emily's going to ask and I don't want to tell her I've been out here for ten minutes hyperventilating. So, tell me how your date went tonight."
"My…?" Garcia asked curiously before whining out Jennifer's name moodily.
JJ wrinkled her nose distastefully. "Don't call me that. It makes me feel like we're fighting."
"We are." Penelope confirmed.
"Since when?"
"Since right now."
"Come on though, if Emily and I are technically on a date, there's absolutely no 'technically' about you and Morgan. Did he go over after? Have I been interrupting? Please tell me I'm interrupting."
"All you're interrupting is a Munsters marathon and I'm not having this conversation with you, Jennifer; we're talking about you."
"Did you put your head on his shoulder during the movie?" JJ nearly singsonged, her nervousness ebbing away with the subject change and the residual feelings of determination that came with having a plan of action. "Did you even watch the movie or were you too busy making everyone near you disgustingly charmed with all the nicknames you have for each other? Did you guys finally admit you've been married for years and decide to make it official?" she laughed at the annoyed grumbling in her ear. "Can I be the maid of honour? Where are you going to honeymoon? Doesn't matter, you'll never see the outside of the bedroom."
"JJ," Garcia interrupted sternly. "You are my best and dearest friend and you are my sister and I love you, but I will not hesitate to drop your FICO score to three hundred and reset your credit history if you don't stop talking."
"Do you want me to shut up because nothing happened?" JJ asked, unfazed. She'd learnt over the years how to tell when Garcia was being serious about threats to her credit and she still had a little room to push her friend's buttons. "Or do you want me to shut up because something happened?"
"How did we start talking about me anyways?" Penelope asked. "Don't liaise me." Her tone was light, but scolding and JJ was optimistic that even though Garcia didn't want to talk about how it went with Morgan, it must have gone well—even if it seemed nothing had actually happened since JJ was sure she would have heard about it approximately five seconds later.
JJ felt that if someone could just get Derek to listen to sense long enough to face up to the fact that he and Penelope had been emotionally committed to each other for years, then it would stand to follow he'd quit being such an obstinate ass and both he and Garcia could just let things happen. But if there was one thing that everyone on the team had in common, it was an impressive amount of willful stubbornness (and still, some more than others).
Something that sounded like an entire wooden dining set being tossed out of a fifth floor window and into a metal dumpster rang out violently from somewhere further down the side street and JJ yelped loudly, pressing her hand to her chest. The cloud of nervousness over the sudden realization of her situation had eclipsed her nervousness over getting ripped to shreds by a pissed off shape shifter but now JJ found herself acutely aware of how exposed she was leaning weaponless against the side of a building with a wide alley to one side and a busy street to the other.
"Has anybody died from mysterious animal attacks in Arlington in recent history?" JJ wasn't sure if she was whispering loudly or not because her heart had started thundering unpleasantly in her ears and she was flooded with the urge to move. "I'm serious." She griped hotly at the tinny version of Penelope's giggle.
"I know you are." Garcia assured, clearing her throat to try to get her voice to sound more serious and get her amusement under control. "I promise that the closest possible wolves to you are the Washington ones at the Iceplex. You're fine, Jayje."
JJ's gaze swept back and forth on high alert, unwilling to peel herself off the side of the building and leave her back exposed for the short journey back into the restaurant while she still had her attentions divided by being on the phone. "How late are you going to be up?"
"Sorry, buttercup," Garcia said while shaking her head, her apologetic tone nothing but genuine. "I can't come over tonight." As entertaining as JJ's short-lived but sincere upsets were, they happened so rarely that Garcia was always more than happy to comfort her friend—even if the request (or the fear itself) was fatuous. Since she and Emily were the only ones privy to JJ's Secret Shame, it usually fell to Garcia to stay over JJ's as the other blonde was generally too embarrassed to ask Emily because Emily was always the one who actually saw most of JJ's little freak-outs since Penelope had no intention of playing their horrible game. JJ's quiet, half-swallowed squeak at something else that had startled her quickly refocused Garcia's attention.
"Please, Pen?"
"You know I can never say no to you when you sound like that, but tomorrow's Sunday." She reminded her gently.
"Right," JJ frowned at her own forgetfulness. "Your nerd thing with Spence."
Garcia rolled her eyes. She wasn't sure she'd call it a 'nerd thing' but there was really no other accurate way to describe the brunch she had with Reid every Sunday where they either hung out at a bistro to talk about Doctor Who or marathoned it in Garcia's living room. "But you can always call me," she said, trying to sound encouraging while wondering how cruel it would be to leave creepy wolf noises as a voicemail message.
"Yeah, okay." JJ replied a little distractedly as a group of boisterously drunks gamboled past her. She tried to mentally catalogue what they were wearing and any suspicious movements. "Thanks, I'm sure I will."
"And hey," Garcia said brightly (and more than a little suggestively), "I'm sure that after you talk to Emily, you won't have a reason to take her back to DC and therefore no reason to call me."
JJ rolled her eyes but the corners of her mouth twitched upwards as the spontaneous confidence from earlier started to edge back in along with shades of annoyance with herself that she'd left Miranda more or less alone with Emily. "Maybe. Maybe." She amended in an attempt to stop her mind from gleefully flinging itself into 'best possible outcome' scenarios.
"Well let me know what happens but I hope I don't hear from you until you show up late for work on Monday."
"Goodbye, Penelope."
Garcia laughed. "Love you too, sugarplum. Bestest Best Friend out"
JJ stuck her phone back in her pocket, her thumb tapping purposelessly against the screen to keep it from locking as she speed-walked back into the restaurant, trying not to look like she was visually scanning for danger. Once inside the safety of the waiting area, JJ let go of her phone and gave the hostess a weak smile as she walked past, not stopping to take the deep breaths she was using to fuel her prayers that her resoluteness wouldn't fail her.