Disclaimer: I own nothing of Psych and its related characters. This is just for my own enjoyment and the potential enjoyment of other Psych-Os like me, and no monetary gain was expected or received.
Rating: T+
Spoilers: None.
A/N: Holy shit. 'Nuff said.
Maybe It's the Medication
They were on their way to a call across town the next day. Juliet turned slightly sideways in the passenger seat and looked at Lassiter.
"So…have any crazy dreams last night?" she asked, grinning.
He sighed heavily. "What, you don't mean to tell me that you did?" Juliet said.
"I did. It seems to be becoming a habit."
"What was it this time? Parakeets bombing Syria?"
"No. But thank you; that will probably be tonight's dream. No, last night I dreamt I was sick, so I was laying around watching TV, and the show I was watching was a TV episode of some show that was showing me squaring off against that asshole Drimmer in my house the night he tried to kill me and Spencer. And I dreamed that, instead of being taken unawares, the show showed me walking in and shooting him right away with a gun I had on me, but it didn't stop him, so for some reason TV me had to reach for the gun in the pistachios anyway, but instead of a Walther I pulled up a freakin' rifle and blew his ass away.
"Then I dreamed I got up to turn the TV off, but it wouldn't turn off, and just went snowy. I kept trying to turn it off and my dad walked up behind me - two of him. One was dressed in a dark blue pocket t-shirt like he used to wear and the other was dressed in one of his dark blue short sleeved uniform shirts from his diesel mechanic shop. My dad has been dead for awhile now, and he was what they called 'cataclysmically disabled' for a long time before he died, but he was just fine in my dream.
"And then, I dreamt I woke up. I was at school, dressed in a Catholic school boy uniform, and it was a boarding school. I was still sick. I was laying facedown with my head hanging off the end of a big, huge bed and my friends were laying out these wild-colored and patterned socks on the floor below and trying to get all my other friends to wear them. I said, 'I'll wear a pair,' and they handed me the absolute ugliest pair there was: these pale purple argyle monstrosities, so I got up and walked away to go find my dorm, which I thought was room number two.
"I get to room number two and absolutely none of the separated living areas inside looks like it would belong to me. Then some other kids walk in and they all look at me funny 'cause I don't belong there, so I leave in a hurry. I figure I must've misread which room was marked 'number two' so I enter the next room over, and it looks more like I think I remember, being much larger with separate rooms inside, but I still can't remember what room is mine, and I meet this super-tall kid who doesn't recognize me either, but doesn't think that doesn't mean I don't live there, and we go around looking for my place, and we end up in the lunchroom, where I say that I've been sick and start to get all depressed and say, 'Maybe I don't even go to this school.' And then I woke up for real."
"That might be your weirdest dream yet," Juliet said. "You know, I'm starting to think, just maybe, this is all…self-fulfilling prophecy?"
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"I mean you've started to expect to have these weird-ass dreams, so you do, don't you think?"
"Well, that would be a much more comfortable explanation than the one I came up with," he said.
"Which was?" Juliet asked.
"That I've gone shit-balls crazy."