Chapter 2
"This place seems ... quaint." Madge said.
The two couples stopped for lunch at a roadside restaurant that occupied a simple two-story house just like the one that Katniss grew up in. The pastel colors on the siding made it look like a giant Easter egg, though. Katniss' stomach growled when she smelled the food.
"Madge, you wanted to go to the country for a vacation. There aren't any five-star restaurant out here," Gale said.
"I know that. But I'd settle for one and a half stars, maybe something like a Chili's or Friday's."
Katniss took Madge by the arm. "Come on Madge, it'll be fine." She dragged her over the threshold. "See Madge; it's nice. It's got crap hanging on the walls, just like Fridays. There's a collection of old license plates on that wall. Deer and moose heads mounted over there."
"And a stuffed bear in that corner," Gale said.
"Alright, I get it." Madge shuffled her feet through the sawdust on the floor. She ran her finger across the counter. She examined the tips of her finger. "Okay, let's eat."
They sunk deep in the booth. Being shorter than her husband and friends made Madge feel like a little kid who had trouble seeing the top of the table. Katniss tried to hide her giggle.
"Seriously?" Madge said.
"Um, okay. Let's get a different table," Gale said. They moved to an adult table.
A broad smile appeared on Gale's face. "I know what I'm getting," he said.
"What?" Madge asked.
"Mound of Meat."
"Oh, Gale no. It sounds like something a Neanderthal would eat. Get something civilized."
"Nope, I'm going full caveman today."
Peeta finished a salad, Madge, a sandwich, Katniss, the ribs. Gale had eaten the top four inches of a meal that resembled a fifth grader's volcano for the science fair. He stopped when he realized that six eyes stared at him.
"What?"
"We're finished," Madge said.
He spent the next minute finishing what he shoved in his mouth. "Um, I'll take the rest to go."
When they reached the B & B Gale drove the truckster up the winding driveway. Colorful leaves crunched under the wheels.
Madge smiled when it came into view. A two story porch adorned the front of the white clapboard building. "It's adorable," Madge said. She gasped and pressed her face against the window. "Oh my God, do you see what I see?"
Everyone jerked forward when Gale hit the brakes. "Is that what I think it is?" Gale asked.
"It sure is," Peeta said.
"What is it, I can't make it out," Katniss added.
"That's because you need glasses," Peeta said as he refocused his attention on the vanity mirror, he didn't see Katniss' tongue.
"Never you mind, just tell me what it is."
Katniss winced when Madge squeezed her arm.
Gale gripped the steering wheel. He couldn't convince his foot to get off the brake and press down on the accelerator. "Those are tombstones. The B & B is in the middle of a graveyard!" Gale said.
"It's not a graveyard."
Gale rubbed his temples. "Madge, we can see all the tombstones."
"No, it's a cemetery. A graveyard is next to a church."
Gale smacked his head on the steering wheel as Madge patted him on the shoulder. "Go, go, go!"
"Did you know this when you picked this place?" He asked.
"Of course I did silly. Don't you remember?"
"Guess what, the place we're going to is in the middle of a cemetery."
"That's nice dear. Wow! That was some shot."
"I can't help it if you don't listen to me when Sportscenter is on."
He pressed down on the accelerator and sped to the front door shivering as he passed the tombstones.
Madge's eyes lit up when they entered the house. Wrought iron chandeliers hung from the ceiling with bulbs that tried their best to resemble candles. Turn of the nineteenth-century furniture filled the room. The tip of her finger touched every chair, table, and lamp; she tried to absorb its energy. She lowered herself into a wingback chair with a bold floral print dominated by a yellow sunflower in the middle. Her rear had just touched the seat when she stood up. The chair seemed too nice to sit in.
"Chairs are made for sitting in." Nobody had seen the woman appear from the adjoining room. Madge felt her heart jump as she stood. She received her first scare of her vacation and she smiled.
"I'm Sae. You must be the Hawthornes and the Mellarks."
Sae was a woman in her sixties. She had a round face and a smile with perfect teeth. Her cornflower blue and yellow sundress lit up the room. Madge didn't hear the same New England accent as the waitress in the restaurant.
"You're not from around here, are you?" Madge asked.
"We've been here for ten years and I still have my New Yawk accent."
"We're from the city too."
"Well, welcome to the country." Sae made her way to the counter and brought up their information on the computer. Madge touched it like the furniture.
"Your computer seems so out of place next to all these beautiful antiques," Madge said.
"I like to surround myself with the trappings of the 1800s, I have no interest to live that way, though."
"So you have indoor plumbing?" Katniss asked.
"Right down the hallway, on your left sweetie."
"Thank God."
"No, thank Richard Swanson."
Like a grade schooler eager to absorb as much as she could, Madge stood on toes and opened her eyes wide. "Was he the man who designed the home or the original owner?"
"Nope, he's the plumber who unclogged it yesterday."
Madge lowered herself back to earth.
Sae's laser printer spat out their registration forms. Peeta and Gale reviewed the information and handed over their driver's licenses and credit cards. Sae gave them maps of the area and the room keys. Madge's spirits rose when she saw brass keys and not key cards.
Katniss returned with a look of relief on her face. Peeta took off next.
"Breakfast starts at seven in the dining room."
"I can't wait. I read a review of your maple bacon pancakes," Katniss said.
Sae pointed to a flyer on the desk. "I'm sorry dear. This is Vegan Week. All the meals will be our meatless specialties."
Katniss' shoulders slumped and her pupils grew so large she resembled a Loony Tunes character. She grabbed her chest.
"No Maple Bacon Pancakes?"
Sae shook her head.
"You mean there won't be Ham and Cheese Breakfast Quiche."
"No ham. That's meat, sweetie."
Katniss' lip trembled. "And I won't get to taste the Apple Sausage Wagon Wheel?"
"You keep on naming meats dear." Sae swung her head and went to her desk. "And all from the same animal."
Peeta returned and he took Katniss' face in his hands. "What's up? You look like you just lost your best friend."
"I did," Katniss said. "It's vegan week. I won't get to taste-"
Katniss' head drooped when Peeta let go and spun around. "No kidding! What are we having?" Peeta perused the menu. "This is great!"
"Well," Katniss thought for a second. "At least we'll have eggs."
"Sorry, that's meat. No eggs."
"Eggs aren't meat. You pick them up in the dairy department."
Sae placed her hands on Katniss' shoulders and pressed her down into one of the dining room chairs. She looked deep into Katniss' watery eyes. "An egg is a future chicken. It's meat."
Katniss narrowed her eyes at the smirking Gale. "What are you smiling at?"
"I'm good for a couple of days. I still have half of my Mound-of-Meat left."
Madge received Katniss' glare next. "You knew about this didn't you?"
Madge never hunted, but she knew the look of a cornered animal. The wild eyes, the clenched teeth. She took Katniss' arm and pulled her aside.
"Listen, Kit Kat, this place is perfect for ghost hunting. I need you to take one for the team."
"You don't understand Madge, I need meat. I can feel myself getting not smart every ... um ... second just thinking about me not having animal for week."
Madge leaned in. "Remember how we used to sneak out to smoke when we were teenagers?"
"Katniss try remember."
"Well, maybe we can sneak out get you some meat to hold you over."
"Katniss like idea little blonde lady have."
They shared a smile.
"And besides, it's only for breakfast. We're eating lunch and dinner other places. It's not like the whole state is going vegan for the week."
"I know. I'm sorry I went all drama queen."
"Guess what," Peeta said. "I arranged to eat dinner here all week."
Peeta walked off and Katniss' neck lost all its ability to hold her head upright. "Wasn't plunging the knife in me enough? Then you had to twist and yank it out."
Peeta charged back. "Oh, Sae thanked you for all the pears. She's going to work them into all the meals." He kissed his wife and joined Gale bringing the bags to the room.
Madge and Katniss locked eyes like they were five again. "And then you throw salt and iodine in the wound."
"Drama queen Katniss has returned?"
"You betcha."
Katniss rubbed the back of her neck as she sat on the bed with the latest Detective Ballbuster graphic novel. The inane dialogue and woman with unrealistic body proportions annoyed her. She didn't want to waste her vacation time reading, but she promised President Effie she'd catch up with Jo's latest work of dribble.
"If I really looked like that I'd tip over." She shook her head. "I don't know how Glimmer does it."
While finishing the current story arc where Detective Ballbuster and her trusty sidekick Jawbreaker take down their archvillain Rapscallion, the rascally, rowdy, roguish, ruffian of Red Hook, her head bounced forward.
"Ouch," she rubbed the back of her head. "What was that?"
Oh, yes, yes.
She turned and put her ear against the wall. She heard a woman in the room next door.
Oh, baby that feels so good.
Katniss felt her face turn beet red. Her fingers burned when she felt her face. She jumped off the bed and crossed the room. Her eyes got wide as she watched the headboard bounce back and forth.
"Wow, someone's getting some." She inched toward the wall, stood next to the wall and returned her ear against the wall. Her heart sped up and sweat soaked her brow.
No, put your hand there and do this. Oh, yeah.
She fanned her face with a magazine and listened to the couple next door. She lifted one eyebrow and thought, "is it a man and a woman? I've only heard a woman; maybe it's two women? Oh, maybe there are three in there?" She pressed her ear as hard as she could on the wall.
Mmmmm, do you want to go again, or is three times your limit?
Katniss' eyes grew. "Whoa! Who's in there? Superman and Wonder Woman?"
Oh, so you want to play a little rough. I'm game. I'll go first.
Katniss grabbed a glass and put it against the wall in an effort to amplify the moans and groans from the next room. Her heart felt like it was going to burst out of her chest.
"Hey, what are you doing?"
"Ahhh! Peeta! Christ! Don't sneak up on me like that!"
"Sneak up on you like what? All I did was open the door and say hey. What are you doing anyway?"
"I was listening to the people next door."
"I don't hear anyone."
She pressed her ear against the wall. She scrunched her nose at the silence. "They must have stopped."
"Stopped what?"
"Um, nevermind, what were you up to?"
"Gale and I hit some golf balls. The owner, Matt, has a cage out back. Gale's swing is all screwed up ..."
Katniss stared at the wall as Peeta droned on about golf. She daydreamed about the couple next door and wondered if you're a voyeur if you only listen and use your imagination.
Katniss sauntered down the stairs that dominated the entry way to the B&B. They weren't ornate, but they were sturdy, oak and were stained the same shade of blonde as Madge's Clairol colored hair. What brought her eyes to them was their size; they were at least six feet wide. That's twice the width of stairs found in a typical home.
Katniss found the tea and coffee station. She poured the hot water, steeped the tea bag and then spooned in sugar and poured in milk. She took a sip. "Yuck."
She sniffed the milk. "I think there's something wrong with the milk."
"No sweetie," Sae said. "Remember it's Vegan Week, that's soy milk."
Katniss dropped her head.
"Kat, what's wrong?" Madge asked.
"Just shoot me now." She showed Madge the box of soy milk.
"Oh, well, maybe breakfast will cheer you up. They're serving now."
They sat at one of the two tables for sixteen each. Most of the chairs were occupied at her table. While she ate her fruit salad she eyed the guests at her table and the next. Her thoughts drifted to the couple in the next room.
A total of twenty people were seated for breakfast. After she discounted herself, Peeta, Madge, and Gale, that left sixteen. Next she took Sae and her husband off the list. One of the couples were guys, so she crossed them off too. That leaves twelve, six pairs.
"What are you staring at?" Madge asked.
"The couple in the next room were really loud. I'm wondering who they are."
"Jeez, arguing while on vacation. That sucks."
Katniss rolled her eyes. "They weren't arguing Madge."
"Maybe it's the old couple over there. I think he's wearing a hearing aid."
Katniss shook her head. "No Madge, I mean they were getting busy."
"Oh, well then let's see. I don't think you can eliminate the old people. Remember when we walked in on my grandparents?"
They shivered in unison. "Yes I remember, that image is seared in my brain, and I told you never to bring it up again."
"I'm just saying-"
"I know what you're saying, but please stop. Besides, I heard that woman speak, she has a thick accent. The woman in the room didn't. That leaves five couples."
"How old do you think they are?"
"I don't know. Her voice was kinda wispy."
"How about them?"
Madge pointed to a couple in their thirties. He was lean with an angular body. His pale skin blended with his light hair and he spoke with a whispery voice that matched his pixieish face.
His wife had a couple of inches on him. Her athletic body didn't have an ounce of body fat on her. She had a body that could shoot through the water like a dolphin; Katniss surmised that she took her swimming seriously.
Katniss raised her eyebrows when she heard the woman's authoritative and throaty voice. "No, the woman in the room had a wispy voice. Besides, she said she wanted to be on top."
Madge winced. "Yeah, she'd crush him."
"How about the young couple at the end?" Madge asked. "I heard her talk to Sae. She has a subdued voice."
Katniss focused on the pair. They spoke to the couple next to them about his job, his car, his house, his boat. The other couple nodded their heads in unison. The wife stared at her breakfast and nodded her head whenever he turned his head to her. She tried to add to the conversation, but he spoke over her. She went back to staring at her breakfast.
"No, the woman next door seemed to be in charge."
"Oh well, enough detective work. Let's sit in the hot tub until the boys come back from golf."
Katniss agreed.