A/N: Hello, everybody. I'm so so sorry for the frickin long wait, I know it's been too long, as in...I'm just going to lucky guess and say ten months. ANyways, I hope this doesn't disappoint and will continue to be humorous to you readers, and thanks so much for sticking with me!
Especially you, DeadpoolLovesTacos! You deserve better for being such a loyal and great reader and I'm so sorry :'C
This was bad. Merrick can't have Keegan going all suspicious on him now. It might lead to two things: either Keegan would start distancing himself, or he'd start investigating Merrick closer to find out what was wrong with him, neither of which Merrick desired. His resolution to stay strong and let this sway of feelings pass was crumbling away day by day. Elias and Rorke weren't helping, in fact they just made it worse.
The book he was reading wasn't helping him ease his mind as he brainstormed for a way to make Keegan less suspicious, but the thoughts came to a halt when Rorke came into the living room and sat down on the sofa, right next to him. Rorke took the remote and turned the TV on, flipping through channels.
Merrick peered at Rorke, ready for whatever tease and obnoxious smirk their leader had for him, but none came, and they both remained quiet. Surprised, but pleased, Merrick relaxed and laid back to continue his brainsto—reading.
Of course, Keegan just had to walk through the door.
Merrick didn't notice at first and Rorke made no rush to notify him about it. It wasn't until Merrick heard water running from the conjoining small toilet did he look up.
The door was wide open, and Keegan was by the sink, washing his hands and looking at himself in the mirror. This bathroom was for general use, but every member had their own private bathrooms, and Merrick couldn't see why Keegan would go all the way here just to wash his hands.
"What's wrong with the sink in your own bathroom?" Rorke asked, either he read Merrick's mind or was genuinely curious. Either way, Merrick still found that never-fading mischievious lilt in his voice irritating.
"Something's wrong with it," Keegan answered from the bathroom, glancing at Rorke through the mirror. His voice echoed off the small bathroom walls. "I guess Elias did something wrong, he handled the kitchen problem pretty well, but fucked up my pipe, and now it won't turn on."
Merrick's dirty mind interpreted that as something else entirely, and instead of being arousing, he found the sentence to be plain humorous.
Rorke hummed in reply, and finally stopped looking through what the TV had to offer, and settled on one channel. It was a commercial, and Merrick took no interest as he paid attention to Kee—his book.
Elias walked in and sat on the armchair. Merrick didn't look up, but heard the lieutenant say, "Sometimes I think companies should work on making their commercials convincing."
"Yep, spray this perfume on and you'll get all the ladies. I don't see how it could get any convincing than that." Oh, Rorke. Always so sarcastically annoying.
"I think one of the best ways to advertise is to be honest."
Rorke scoffed. "Oh, I can imagine the commercial for beer. 'Just don't drink', they'd say. Or it's the best to drink it because you'd have an excuse for committing a crime or waking up with a stranger in your bed the next morning."
The water from the bathroom kept running as a silence fell for half a minute.
Elias laughed. "Damn, I'd buy that brand."
"Agreed," Rorke chortled with him. "Let's work on improving commercials since we don't have shit to do. What about this one?"
Merrick surmised Rorke was referring to the advertisement playing on the TV as they spoke. He didn't bother to see what it was, as he subtly looked in Keegan's direction. Despite having his back turned towards him, the mirror provided the view of his handsome, chiseled face. Not that the back wasn't a wonderful view in itself—the shoulder blades, the lean muscle? Merrick tried not to pay too much attention, but he was failing.
Keegan cleansed his mouth with listerine and took a few moments to ease the sting around his lips with water. As he splashed it over the bottom half of his face, Elias said, "Hmm. This commercial doesn't seem too hard to fix. I guess I could try."
"Go ahead," Rorke urged.
Keegan's intense orbs stared at himself in the mirror, the jaw tensing and relaxing. Merrick gulped. Keegan once told the group he got his looks from his mother. Whoever she is, if Merrick ever met her one day, he'd go to his knees and thank and praise and maybe even award her for her masterpiece of a son.
Elias' voice was in the background. Subtle, but there, in the best dramatic-narrator he could handle. "The long shaft enters your open, eagerly waiting mouth. Damp, warm heat envelops around the hardness, the threat of gagging is there, but it doesn't stop you, and you carefully pump it in."
Merrick heard all these, but wasn't paying enough attention to be incredulous at Elias' set of words. Mainly because Keegan's eyes met his through the mirror, and Merrick's heart skipped a beat. Or twenty.
Apparently, Elias wasn't done. "It enters and almost exits, again and again, harder, rougher, in and out, and you could feel it forming out. Then the white just explodes and forms, foam and liquid, and you almost swallow. Removing the shaft from your mouth, you spit it all out, satisfied, knowing you would do this again."
Suddenly, the image of Keegan doing exactly that to him appeared in Merrick's mind, and heat crawled up to his cheeks. Finally realizing that he was caught staring, Merrick averted his eyes, embarrassed to hell and gone, but furious with his superiors.
He snapped his gaze angrily to Elias, but just then, he finished, "Colgate: keep your mouth clean."
Merrick's words of incredulity and anger died in his throat and he turned twice as red at how much sense it all made. Rorke peered at him, and that silly smirk of his played across his face. "Geez, Merrick, you running a fever or something?"
"Fuck you, I know you said all that on purpose," Merrick growled.
"What on purpose? Make an awesome commercial voice-over?" Elias grinned cheekily.
"You know what I mean," Merrick rolled his eyes.
"You have to admit, it was pretty awesome," Rorke snickered. "Great work, Elias, you're nearly as creative as I am."
At that moment, they heard Keegan chuckle from the bathroom, and the mirror revealed the slight upturn of his lips. "Yeah. It was pretty good." His eyes met Merrick's through the mirror, and the smile became more prominent.
Merrick flushed, the glance looked almost flirtatious. And, as convenient as it was on purpose, Keegan opened his mouth and started to brush his teeth.
That's it, Merrick was done, got up to leave, and didn't miss the snickers and evil laughs from his lieutenant and captain.
Merrick sighed and hid his face in his hands, taking comfort in the dimness and coolness of his room. It was late and quiet, but he wasn't sleepy, not in the slightest. This past few days had his mind scrambling and fussing around more than usual, all because of one seemingly flirtatious look.
Just then, someone knocked on his door, and he angrily grumbled, "No. Whoever you are and whatever it is, no. Go away. Ask me in the morning."
The entrance opened anyway, and Merrick hissed at the line of light creeping into his room. He looked up to glare at the intruder, only for the glower to falter when he saw Keegan at his doorway.
Merrick gulped. Well, shit.
He put up a show and groaned, "What is it?"
The nervousness grew when, instead of responding, Keegan entered and closed the door, making him no more than a silhouette in the dark. "I think I know why you've been acting so strange lately."
Merrick's heart sank deeper. This was bad. Really bad.
But that didn't stop him from putting up the grumpy, this-is-not-the-time act. "Okay. But can't this wait?"
"No, it can't," the silhouette drew closer. Merrick watched him warily as the gentle, hesitant steps didn't stop, to the point Keegan reached him by the bed.
There was a tormenting silence for about three seconds until Merrick arched a brow. "So…"
Before he could continue that question, Keegan's hand cupped each of his cheeks, the rough texture of palms against skin sending a jolt of electricity throughout Merrick's body. An unintentional, soft sigh escaped his lips, but his body tensed, and even in the darkness, he could see Keegan's curious icy eyes. Curious, or thoughtful? Merrick wasn't sure. He wasn't sure if this was real to begin with.
"Hm. You've been restless because of me." Keegan's voice was low and Merrick realized too late as the younger Ghost brought his face closer to his. He stopped, just as their faces were inches away from us.
"You were right," Merrick whispered hoarsely, fuck, he was so close…
"I'm always right," Keegan murmured, just barely enough time before Merrick leaned forward and crashed his lips against the other's.
Merrick relished in the feel, that mouth was rough for most parts, but in the small wrinkles on the lips the texture was soft and sweet. He whimpered when a tongue snaked out and licked his bottom lip, begging entrance, which he allowed willingly, and his own tongue went to greet the other's, hot breath and saliva and taste and smell…
Keegan pushed Merrick onto the bed, lips still locked, one hand on his face, and the other fumbling around with the edge of Merrick's shirt.
Feeling the cool fingers on his lower rib, it sent heat to his stomach, and a warning signal to his brain. Half-leaned down, with Keegan almost on top of him, Merrick pulled back, eyes looking at the other's frantically. All he saw in those artic orbs were lust and tenderness, staring back at him questioningly about the interruption.
"Stop," Merrick mumbled, his heart objected to what he said, but his brain thought otherwise. The fingers playing with the edge of his shirt didn't cease, instead they lingered there, twirling around, leaving feathery touches that wouldn't stop sending heat to the bottom of his stomach.
Keegan was quiet. The silence urged Merrick to continue.
"You don't want to do this," Merrick whispered, and with every fibre of his being he hoped that wasn't true.
Keegan took his time to answer, choosing his words carefully. "I've never done this before," he said finally, gaze never leaving Merrick's. His other hand ghosted down his partner's arm, liking how short of breath he seemed to be when he did that. He took Merrick's hand into his own and carressed the knuckles, smiling, and it was as gorgeous as it was rare.
Placing a soft kiss to Merrick's palm, he said, "Let's hope I'm good at it." Their lips met again, and this time he successfully pushed Merrick onto the bed.
As it turned out, Keegan's words rang true, as it usually did. He was always right, after all.
The next morning, Merrick was radiating with happiness and calm, whistling a tune as he ambled to the kitchen, making himself some coffee, mind free and sated and collected at last.
Rorke was already in the kitchen, sitting by the counter sipping on his own drink, licking the foam off his upper lip before anybody could make fun of the chocolate mustache. His bored, just-woke-up face positively lit when Merrick waltzed in, but the expression took a sinister turn when Keegan followed soon after.
Apparently Rorke was having a conversation with Elias, who was in the living room, if by having a conversation you mean shouting obnoxiously.
"Fuck, Rorke, can't you just get your ass over here?" Elias called, obviously riled. "This thing is so fucking hard."
"Hey, if it's hard already, what's the problem?" Rorke replied, sipping on his drink. Keegan was pouring milk into his cereal and was smiling, either at him or at Merrick. Either way, Rorke knew that smile turned Merrick crazy.
There was a small silence, until Elias said deliberately, "Just walk me through how I'm supposed to do this."
"Ah, it's easy," Rorke waved it off, knowing full well Elias couldn't see it. Merrick drank his coffee, eyes watching him, listening to their conversation. "You gotta make sure it's nice and clean, first. Nobody likes anything grubby or dirty."
"Yeah…?"
"Give it a quick rub, and you're ready to go," Rorke paused. "Wait, screw that, nothing too quick. Slow, steady, you really want to make sure you get every part of it."
Keegan was just across the counter from Rorke, and he noticed the embarrassed look on the young sniper's face, and the uncomfortable expression on Merrick's. Inwardly, Rorke laughed.
"Mmhmm…" Elias urged.
"Just don't force it in. You might damage something." Rorke hummed thoughtfully, thinking up more words to make the other two turn purple, and he had to supress the smirk when Keegan threw a not-so-subtle glance at Merrick.
"But what if it's begging for it," Elias complained. It sounded as though he full well knew what was happening and was in on it.
Well, knowing these two, of course he was in on it.
"Just make sure it's turned on first and it will slide straight in," Rorke said effortlessly, "Then, voila! Enjoy."
Keegan had a full-blown smirk aimed at Merrick, and the other Ghost had a small tint of red on his cheeks, lips in a half-frown, half-smile. There was a brief silence where Elias didn't reply, and Merrick took the advantage of that moment to call out, "So, you got that DVD player working yet?"
Rorke nearly choked on his coffee, that reaction wasn't what he expected, Merrick wasn't flustered or disoriented at all and that wasn't supposed to happen.
"Oh—umm, yeah. It works fine now." Elias replied, sounding just as surprised as Rorke was.
Merrick grinned at his captain, a cheeky irritating grin that was all teeth, obviously satisfied that he saw through the trolling Elias and Rorke were attempting. And, to further Rorke's shock, he strided up to Keegan and gave a firm slap on his ass. Which made the younger sniper jump and blush, but smile nonetheless.
Rorke's jaw almost dropped to the floor, and Merrick sang, just loud enough for Elias to hear, "Yep, I finally tapped this. So that means those jokes you two do aren't going to work anymore."
Merrick left the kitchen, sipping on his drink and humming a happy tune, leaving a flabbergasted Rorke looking questioningly at a sly-smiling Keegan.
A/N: Alas Merrick gets his revenge on Rorke and Elias for being total dicks. I know you wanted a smut scene, DeadpoolLovesTacos, and yeah it's even a bonus point in the original prompt, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it because I wasn't in the I WANNA WRITE SMUT mood. Sorry! :( I just wanted to keep it funny with a slice of sexy and fluff.
But I hope you liked it anyway! Please leave a review ;)