A/N: Sorry for the long wait! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Hunger games or it's characters as well I do not own the plot line or anything from Being Erica. I am merely borrowing them for this story.

Chapter 4

What I am is What I am

"So let me get this straight, you were fired from another job and you're perfectly fine with that?" I cannot help but smirk at the Peeta, who is across from me. After getting home that evening and making plans to go out with my neighbor, Peeta, I had decided to get Madge in on the night out, after some protests and cries of "but I have work tomorrow!" It's amazing what time and age can do to a person. I glance at her to see her sipping her drink and turn back to the person in front of me.

"Yup. I get to work with my aunt for a bit until I find something better. You know, I applied for a music teaching position a few days ago. They're looking for someone to take over the music program at Capitol High come winter term. Maybe my teaching degree will finally get used instead of wasting all that education on minimum wage bullshit. I'm so tired of hearing about all the debt I incurred on a useless field." I hear a snort from beside me and glare at Madge who takes another sip before setting her drink down.

"Come on Kat, you knew from the get-go finding a job after school was going to be hard. The job market for teachers in general is a competitive field. You had a better chance working as a daycare worker than a teacher. Most of the teachers who are working refuse to give up their position. Retirement is becoming a thing where people don't retire until they're much older now." I nod my head in agreement, I did know that but it doesn't mean I wasn't at least a bit hopeful to find something when I was done. I had majored in vocal music and minored in English, which is where Peeta and I first met. He's two years older than I am but luckily he was one of those kids that didn't know what he wanted to do, so originally he had taken business so that he could eventually take over his family's business only to realize he sucked at it. Two years of college and only a year to go he dropped the program and opted to take an arts program. It included English as part of the arts in case those who took the program wanted to go on to teachers college. He had majored in art, his best course was visual art which was hands on and minored in English with me.

We hadn't hit it off right away. I remember our first week in classes together we argued about the meaning behind The Raven. He was right in the end but that didn't make me back down. It's become an ongoing joke between us through the years. We really started hanging out when we had to do a research assignment on the positives and negatives of technology and the youth of today. We found we did agree on a lot more than disagreed. Like the fact that technology was allowing children to bypass learning proper spelling since autocorrect was becoming a more integrated was of life. As they say the rest is history from there. We found that we also had art in common, or at least the Arts. We both were interested in some form of art, mine being music and his being visual. He's now working of a graphic designer for a big web company and I say kudos to him. He does what he loves and that's good. I wish I could say the same, but who knows, maybe luck will finally be in my favour.

I give Madge a sour look at the prospect of working as a daycare worker, which is what she does. She's with a special daycare that works with special needs children. She loves it and that's great, but being a glorified babysitter is not my ideal career. Babysitting was never my thing; the only one I ever babysat was Prim.

"If I wanted to be a babysitter I would just put out ads." Madge gives me a sour look in return at the term.

"I swear if we weren't friends I would punch you. You know that I'm more than a babysitter and I wish people would stop saying such a stupid things! If I was just a babysitter I wouldn't have had to go through so much psychology, development classes and courses to get into this career. Ugh. I need another drink." I chuckle at her reaction. It's so easy to press her buttons. I watch her chug down the rest of her drink and get up to go to the bar to grab another.

I look back at Peeta who only shakes his head at me.

"What? I know her job is a lot more than some babysitting job, doesn't mean I can't raze her once in a while. Besides how's work going?" We haven't talked much this week, with my life crisis happening and going home to find out Prim was engaged to that jackass, I haven't put much thought into hanging out with anyone.

"It's fine, winter break is close and I'm glad for it. The kids have been going crazy with winter break so close." He sits back in his chair and runs his fingers through his blond curls. "I need a vacation." He lets out a small sigh before leaning back on the table and looking at me. "So you're possibly going to be working at the school come the new term, eh? That could be fun. It'll be like college all over again for us." I grin and nod my head.

"I know. It can't be too bad there though, I mean teens haven't changed that much right?" Madge returns with her drink as Peeta lets out a howl. Madge looks between the two of us.

"What's so funny?" She asks us. I also want to know what's so funny to Peeta.

"Katniss thinks teenagers were like our generation." She nearly spits out her sip she's taken. Am I really that wrong?

"Oh Katniss, Katniss, Katniss. I may work with young children but even they have changed since our days. Kids are evil, teens are spawns of Satan. They will eat you whole. They will argue with you until the cows come home even after they find out they are wrong." Peeta nods in acknowledgment of Madge's words. Oh no.

"If they don't like you or deem you weak, you will never get past that. They will find your weaknesses and use it against you." Peeta adds. I huff. They can't be that bad.

"Oh come on, it can't be that bad." Am I that out of touch with things now?

"Not always, the kids at the school aren't that bad. But the generation of today does come from a sense of entitlement they haven't earned, I blame helicopter parents. I'm all for telling kids they can do anything, but they don't realize they actually have to make an effort to achieve things in life." Peeta takes a swig of his beer and I do the same. The more he speaks the worst I am feeling about the job potential. I feel like the two of them have thoroughly rained on my parade now. I decide I'm not going to let them ruin the night with these depressing thoughts.

"Ok, enough about the brats of today. Tonight is about letting go of the bad things and celebrating the good! I at least have something to fall back on, I have enough money for first and last on a new place - Oh! Here I have something to cheers on." I pause, feeling bitter at the thought but raise my beer non-the-less and wait for the two of them to raise theirs. "To Prim finally getting engaged to that asshole, Cato!" I clink out glasses and down the rest of my peer, peering at them over my beer to see them exchange looks of apprehension before taking a sip of their drinks and setting them down. Madge is the first to speak up.

"She's actually going through with it?" She knows their history as well as I do, she's been around for their drama since it began back in high school, by my side as we watched their story unfold.

I get up from my seat, feeling the warmth from the beer fill my body a little more, to go grab another.

"Want another?" I shake my empty beer at Peeta and look down at his. He gives me a nod and gulps down the rest of his, handing me his empty bottle. "And yes, Prim is actually serious about marrying the asshole." I bound off to the bar and set down the two empty bottles, signally we need another round to the bar tender before heading off to the bathroom. I finish quickly and make my way back to our table, noticing fresh beers are at the table. I sit back down at the table and catch Peeta's stare which leads to him letting out a cough and turning his attention onto his own drink again. I don't give it much thought as I've noticed he does that often these days.

"So, besides all my great stories from this week, what have you two been up to? Anything interesting and note-worthy I should know about?" I glance between the two of them and raise an eyebrow questioningly.

Madge speaks up first. "Thom and I are going to be starting to try for a baby!" I'm shocked at the outburst, it came out almost as if it had been bubbling to the surface all night. I feel the disappointment rising but I stamp it down and plaster a wide grin on my face and congratulate her profusely. It just shows that I'm still so behind people my own age in terms of success. I have a shit job, just ended another short term relationship and still going nowhere in life right now. At this point it'd be better to just assume I'm going to be an old, crazy cat lady with fifty cats. We speak about babies a bit more before Peeta then lays on another surprise; it shouldn't have come as one though.

"My divorce has finally been finalized. After a year and a half of crap, Delly and I are officially divorced. The papers came in the mail today." He holds up his beer, waiting for us to do another cheers. I know that the divorce has been hard on him. Delly and him had been together since our last year of college and had married a year later. He had finally called it off when he caught Delly cheating on him with a guy from her firm; Delly is a Lawyer. It had hurt him deeply and I could see the change in him. Since the separation he hadn't even tried to hit the dating scene.

We clink our cups and take a swig, I imagine this will be our last drink before we head home for the night, we all know that work comes early in the morning and we're not as young as we used to be.

"You're better off Peeta. The fact that she couldn't see what a good thing she had means that she wasn't worthy of your time, you gave her so much more than she deserved. You'll find someone better one day. Just keep looking." He nods and I notice he's giving me a look I cannot decipher. I brush it off as having too much alcohol.

We finish our drinks, say goodnight to Madge, and make our way home together. The bar we go to regularly isn't far from Peeta and I's apartment. We stumbled home, laughing and enjoying each other's presence as we ascend the stairs to the second floor where our apartments are. He holds me up as I climb the last step, stumbling almost face first to the floor and pulls me up against him so that I don't fall. I chuckle and look into the deep blues of his eyes and notice that look again. What is he thinking? Before I can move or say anything his lips are on mine. I don't have time to think or respond before he pulls away, sets me right on my feet and tells me goodnight and unlocks his apartment and shutting it behind him. What just happened?

My second day of work is spent not paying the least amount of attention to the job at hand and all on the night before. No matter how drunk I may have been I cannot forget the kiss Peeta and I shared last night. What do I say when I see him later? I feel the tingle of his lips on mine still and it sends a shiver down my spine.

I spend the next week stuck on it with no sound or sight of Peeta during that time. By the end of the next week I'm sick of him avoiding me and decide we need to talk. I also need his help with moving. I found a place a few blocks down that was a bit cheaper and way nicer, which was surprising but I needed a place and this seemed good. I also heard a few more tenants were moving out soon and I knew Peeta was looking at moving too, the complex we were at was a last resort at the time, but we both hated the place.

I sit around my apartment that night, it's Friday, which means Peeta could be home early, at his normal time, or later because it's the weekend. I'm dozing on the couch when I hear his door close and peak at my watch to see it's after one in the morning. I wonder where he was. I get off the couch and make my way out of my apartment and walk over to his. I knock on his door and that's when I hear his voice, only it's being accompanied by another, a female voice. I feel my stomach clench and knot itself as the footsteps make their way to the door and that's when I feel the flight or fight response in my kick in. It's odd and I'm unsure what has caused this reaction but at the moment the flight response is strong in me. I hear him close to the door and telling the female it'll only be moment before the door opens, I'm about mid-step in retreating back to my apartment.

"Katniss?" He glances at me and I notice his shirt is unbuttoned and his belt is unfastened… what did I interrupt? I feel my face heat up and cannot help but stare at his chest before I register what is going on. There's a girl at his place, he's half undressed. It's not hard to put two and two together. I finally find my voice.

"I-I- I'm sorry. I should have texted you or something. I didn't think you would be… entertaining someone. W-when you want to talk about the other night… let me know. Bye." I run off and I feel as if I'm going to be sick. I slam the door behind me and slide down the door, head in my hands as I take deep breathes. This reaction is foreign to me, especially when it comes to Peeta. Wasn't it I who kept telling him to start hitting the dating scene again? So why am I so upset? I cannot place my finger on it and instead I feel angry tears spring to my eyes at the frustration I am feeling.

After what feels like hours sitting on the ground I finally get up and head to my bedroom. I open the door and enter… and I'm again thrown into Dr. Haymitch's office. I notice the older man sitting at his desk with a book in hand, I step forward and see he is reading The Great Gatsby.

"Hello Sweetheart. A bit late to still be up, isn't it?" I take a seat opposite him and nod my head.

"I've been waiting to see you again Haymitch. I have a million questions." He shuts the book and looks at me.

"Well timing is everything hunnny. I imagine you would have some though." I shake my head at this.

"You sent me back in time!" I see him smirk

"I did." He doesn't elaborate.

"How did you do it? No, I mean, more importantly, why, why, why did you pick me?" I ask him, needing to know.

"Samuel Johnson said: 'The use of travelling is to regulate imagination by reality, and instead of thinking how things may be, to see them, as they are.'" I scoff at his quote.

"Tell me about regret number seven."

"Why did you pick me?" I feel like this is important for me to continue on.

"Why not? Are you so insignificant that you don't deserve such a chance?" I shake my head, denying that.

"No-"

"Good then about your list-"

"Gale! Can't you just send me back to him, to that night? I could warn him, I could-"

"No Katniss that cannot happen. Have you ever heard of the butterfly effect?" I have and I know where he's going with this.

"Yes but-"

"Then you know that stopping someone's death can and will have great impact on the present and future. I will send you back to Gale and that night when you are ready." How will he know when I'm ready though?

"When will I be ready then?"

"That all depends on you. Now how about we look at regret number seven?" I peak at the paper and read it. Stop Delly from squirming her way into Peeta's life. How appropriate but even then, why was that a regret I had again? I had hooked them up, that's why.

"So, why do you have such a regret? How is this your fault?" I lean back in my chair and stare at Haymitch, taking in his features once more.

"Well, to put it simply, I introduced the two of them. Peeta and I have been friends for a couple years at that point and Delly and I had an elective together, women's studies that year. It was our last year before we finally graduated. I was dating Marvel at the time and decided Peeta deserved a nice girl in his life. He had been scoping the field for a while now but had no success in finding anyone right for him. Delly was outspoken, kind, and stood up for what she believed in. She was wrong but also empathetic, at least I thought she was. If I hadn't introduced them, he wouldn't have gone through all the crap with her that he has. It's my fault."

Dr. Haymitch nods and stands up from his seat.

"So, what would you do differently then?"

"Obviously I wouldn't introduce them to each other. There's a million better people out there that could make him happy and maybe he actually will marry someone he stays with forever." I feel the familiar chill hit me and know what to expect this time, I just wonder where I'll end up.

"Someone like you then?" I stare wide eyed at Haymitch as I feel myself begin to leave the present. I cannot say anything before I'm falling to the ground at what appears to be outside of my old university, someone pulling me up by the arm.

"Jeez girl, good thing walking isn't part of your major or you'd be screwed." I get to my feet and stare at the girl next to me, who is giving me a cheeky grin. Delly.

TBC.

A/N: Don't hate me for the time it took to update. Finals are coming up (next week in fact) and term papers are due this week, thus my time and attention has been focused on finishing those. I'm still not done but as I've noticed lately, when I'm avoiding homework I start writing. This chapter has been a work in progress for the last two weeks so I decided to make sure it was a good length.

I cannot say when the next chapter will be posted as now I'm just focused on finishing school for the term. I hope I can update again before Christmas but I won't make promises.

I do want to say thank you to everyone who commented! You guys are amazing and I appreciate all the support! I hope to start the next chapter soon, which will be focused on College Katniss and Peeta! I hope it's good.