Personal projects have been overtaking the majority of my summer...so much so that I'm ready to get back to the routine of school! That's definitely a first...but besides that, it's time to say something about this fan fiction that I need to just kinda get off my chest.
I love The Last of Us, I love the video game, I love the fandom, the fanfics and art for it...but this fanfic is starting to get a little stale for me. I want to pursue other fandoms and projects that I've been writing, and I don't want to leave all of you readers in the dark as for why this might not get updated as much as it used to. I'm not saying I'm about to end it right here (there's another chapter already written), but to give you all a sense of warning that there's a handful of chapters left before this series ends. If the movie or the sequel should come out, there's no doubt in my mind I will return to this.

But hey, it's not over yet!

With that being said, this chapter is a little heavier than most. I dedicate it to everyone out there who's come out, who's still in the closet, who's dealt with hate for being who they are...it's a hard thing to do, but I hope everyone can find someone to be honest with and people to accept them.

(-_-(-_-(-_-)-_-)-_-)

"This is a bad idea." Joel deadpans in a monotone, as if it should be common sense.

Ellie balances off of my shoulders and grins wildly, "It is not!"

"Tommy," Joel signals him over, "keep watch over these two."

"You act like we haven't done this before." Ellie remarks, and I fight back a laugh before choking out, "Not in a while."

"What the hell?" That'd be Tommy's input from the side. He swears and swipes at his forehead, "Joel?"

"Yes?"

"Did you give them your approval?"

"No, Tommy, I just..." Joel heaves another sigh when he gets an eyeful of me and Ellie, "They went for it on their own."

"Jesus." Tommy breathes, and Ellie nudges me, "C'mon, it's good physical therapy."

"It's a good way to send you both into the hospital." Joel says, and then walks over, "Seriously, Ellie, get down."

"Joel, c'mon! The best apples are up at the top." Ellie whines, and Tommy faces us again before keeling over with laughter. Joel eyes him as he straightens, "Why's that funny?"

"Because you've got a perfectly healthy girl being given a piggyback ride by her crippled friend."

I begin laughing now too, and Ellie fights to stay balanced, "Whoa, Maria! Heel!"

Tommy wipes at his eyes, turns to face our monstrosity again, and promptly loses it once more. Joel smiles himself, and then walks towards us, "Ellie."

His tone is grave, and I look up at Ellie, "C'mon, listen to the man."

"Oh, c'mon." She grumbles, and I keep a hand on her knee, the other one on my cane. It is good physical therapy, actually.

Joel rolls his eyes, and Ellie pats my head, "Turn towards the tree. I can get these apples."

I grudgingly oblige to her instructions, focusing on keeping my balance as she scooches on my shoulders to grab the apples at the top of the tree. Then I get an idea and grin.

"Maria, what're-Maria!" Ellie cries out, before she begins giggling. I continue to tickle her ribs, and she swats at my head, carefully keeping the apples in her other, "S-stop it!"

"You're gonna hurt the crippled friend?" I croon, jutting out my lower lip, as I dig my fingers into her side. Ellie sways on my shoulders, yanking at my hair to keep herself upright, giggling wildly, "Maria!"

"Alright, what's going on over there?" Joel says, turning and rising from his apple basket, and Ellie wastes no time pointing fingers, "Maria's tickling me!"

"Well, I should think she'd find some sort of entertainment while you have all the fun." Tommy remarks, looking over at us. Joel moves closer, "I think y'all should dissamble for the moment."

Ellie sighs, but obliges, letting Joel help her off of my shoulders. I glance down at our apple basket, "We're gonna need all the help picking that we can get."

"Sounds like a plan." Joel comments, and Ellie scoffs, "You're just happy Maria's agreeable."

"Also because she keeps you out of his hair." Tommy pipes up, as Joel and I crack up. Ellie's face flushes, "You make me sound like a dog!"

"Woof." Joel deadpans, and Ellie makes to swat at him before he dodges it, laughing. I wait until their backs are turned before I press my lips to her cheek, "Heel, Ellie."

"You're an assclown." She mumbles, fighting back a smile as her eyes twinkle happily.

(-_-(-_-(-_-)-_-)-_-)

"Ready? We're going to bend your leg in 3, 2..."

I draw in a quick breath as Alicia begins pressing down on my leg, bending my knee around the edge of the counter. Tears pool in my eyes as I fight the urge to cry out, and I guess she picks up on it, "You're doing great, Maria. Just hold the position for a few more seconds, okay? We're almost done."

I let out a haughty breath, and Alicia takes out a protractor, lining it up my leg that she's bending. When she's gotten what she needs, she slowly pulls my heel away from the counter.

I let out a shaky breath and then fill my lungs, blinking hard. It's not as if someone moving my leg is painful, but it's stiff and unused. So forcing the muscles to bend when it's usually doing nothing can sometimes back fire.

To her credit, though, Alicia is good at not pushing my leg back too far.

"Alright, you've gained the ability to bend it backwards at a 65 degree angle, which is ten more than last week's measurements." Alicia says, giving me a smile before handing me my canes. I propel myself off of the counter to the floor, turning to face her, "I don't feel a difference while using it, though."

"You're not supposed to." She replies, turning to scrawl down something else in her notes. "Right now we're just trying to keep your muscles from atrophying in case...well, you DO gain control of your leg again."

"Is it possible?" I press on, as she turns to face me, confused. "What do you mean?"

"To gain control again. It's been over a month now." I guess I don't keep my tone as light as I'd want to. Alicia's mouth twists to one side, and finally, "There's still time, Maria."

"It doesn't feel like it."

"You're angry. I understand."

But how can you, though? I think angrily, biting down on my tongue to resist lashing out. I force a smile and then duck out of the open door.

Ellie, who's been leaning against the wall, gives me a smile when I approah her, "Any good news?"

"I can bend my knees more than last week." I reply weakly, and sigh as she moves closer, "I'm really not getting any better."

"Give yourself time." She murmurs, straightening my hoodie. I eye her and a slow smile grows across my face, "What're you doing?"

"Fixing you up. Hey, I've got an idea." She looks up at me, green eyes alit, and grins, "Let's go see Mitzi."

"Like we don't see her enough in animation class." I reply back, and Ellie takes my hands, swinging them, "Yeah, but that's not the same as kicking it at her studio. I asked her to seal my guitar and I gotta pick it up anyway."

She continues to swing my hands, looking up at me, "C'mon. Please?"

I roll my eyes and relent, "Fine."

Ellie grins, and then kisses my cheek, "Boosh. Success."

(-_-(-_-(-_-)-_-)-_-)

"So, have y'all attempted the beast with two backs yet?" Mizti asks, as Ellie and I go head-to-head on her dartboard. Ellie's actually beating me, despite all my knife training, and I hope this doesn't cause her ego to grow even bigger.

"Excuse me?" I ask, arching my elbow back before letting the dart fly past my fingertips. Ellie turns to face Mizti, "What are you suggesting?"

"Oh, c'mon. You are two horny teenagers. Can't tell me that doing the do hasn't crossed either of your minds." Mizti says, grinning, lifting her mug up as a toast to the two of us before taking a sip. Ellie and I briefly make eye contact before turning away fast, and it's hard to say whose face has gone redder.

Mitzi is laughing like a loon, "How cute! Two girls who have yet to get busy!"

"I, y'know, only had my spine shot out of my back." I reply back, and turn to face Ellie, who's coughing vigorously with her cheeks still tinged heavily with red.

I nudge her with my canes as she hunches over, "El...you good?"

"F-fine." She manages, and Mitzi bursts out laughing again as Ellie straightens. "Whoa. Did not expect such a direct hit."

Ellie seems pretty numb, and so I take on Mitzi, "What? What's the big deal about 'the beast' anyway?"

"See, I know you're only saying that because you've never experienced it." She teases, and I roll my eyes, scooching closer to her on my canes, "Yeah, right. My chaste parts are tingling."

"Given that you can't feel half of them," Mitzi nudges one of my canes with the toe of her sneaker, "I have a hard time believing that."

I lean back against one of the paint-splattered tables, turning around to face Ellie, "Yo, you getting wind of this?"

"Fascinating." She says, but I can pick up that her voice is somewhere else. Mitzi glances between the two of us, "Uh...I'm sorry if I hit a nerve."

"'s cool." I tell her, and then turn back to face Ellie, "Yo, El, what's up?"

"Nothing." Ellie replies shortly, coming to my side. She seats herself on the table with a slump and Mitzi puts her hands up in truce, "Seriously, guys, if I crossed a line somewhere..."

"Hey." I reach for Ellie's hand, her fingers as cold as my own, but our palms warm. Giving her hand a squeeze, "What's really going on?"

"Nothing." She murmurs through gritted teeth, and then forces a smile, turning to face Mitzi, "So, what's your mating life like here? You obviously have so much to tell us about."

Mitzi's face flushes and Ellie and I begin cracking up. She quickly tries to regain her composure, "Hey, wait a minute-!"

Ellie wipes her nose and then eyes the two of us, "Honestly...I don't know much about that."

"It's something the two of you need to talk about." Mitzi says, suddenly sounding like an adult again instead of the older sister figure she usually is. "Get open. Get honest, for God's sakes. If you really do want to take it to that next step in your relationship...communication is key."

Ellie and I look at each other, and then back at Mitzi, who gives us both smiles, "And know that I'm here if you have any questions. I'm not sure your parents would be thrilled to answer some of them."

"I'm sure Joel could answer mine, y'know, with dating a girl. But..." Ellie faces me and furrows her eyebrows, "Maria, did you ever tell your mom?"

"Tell her what?"

"That we're dating?" "Mating." Mitzi supplies, and Ellie continues, "That we're mating—Mitzi!"

"Nah." I admit sheepishly, reaching to scratch the back of my neck. Mitzi whistles while Ellie glares at me, "You're serious?"

"I don't know, it just...never came up." I give a pitiful shrug in my defense. "She doesn't care if we share a bed at my house. She's just glad I have you as such a good friend."

"Little bit more than friends..." Mitzi says under her breath, and Ellie heaves a sigh, and then wrings out her hands, "Okay, we'll figure this out."

"Might I recommend coming out before starting the next stage of your relationship?" Mitzi offers, and I roll my eyes, "Yeah, okay, fine, I'll do it."

(-_-(-_-(-_-)-_-)-_-)

It's after we've left, when we're walking back home in the dark. Parents and guardians have been walkie-talkie'd to know that we're coming home late, and we take advantage of that fact. The rain is still pouring down, and we squeal and stomp in puddles and hold hands long after they've gone slimy.

We revel in splashing one another by puddle jumping, and because of the obvious height factor, Ellie's soaked past her knees while my calves are barely touched.

I catch my breath through the giggles, and then look at Ellie. I search her face for signs, and then raise my eyebrows, "What happened back there, at Mitzi's?"

She heaves a sigh, and then I nudge her, "I'm not thinking of sex right now, if that's what's got you bothered."

"No, it's just..." Ellie holds her head in her hands and blows a raspberry, "Ugh, how do I phrase it?"

"69?"

"Maria!" But she's laughing as she shoves me, and then she quiets down. Her eyes start to get big and I cup her face in my hand, "Ellie...c'mon. You can be honest."

She layers her hand over mine, and then, with a small voice, "I don't...want to hurt you."

I stay quiet, and Ellie goes on, "I'm immune and all that bullshit. And there's no one to go to about that."

"So, you're worried that if we do the do, I'll...get infected?" I try to piece together what she's saying. A part of me wants to laugh, not at her worries, but at the phrasing. Although, I doubt there's a better way to go about saying it.

Ellie hides her face in my hand, and then shakes her head, voice muffled, "I don't know, Maria. It's not just that, it's...I'm starting to realize how little I know."

"So what?" I press on. "We'll figure it out together. We've been splitting bottles and canteens for months. If anything, I'll probably immune now too."

She smiles, and I drop my hand from her face, "Look, I'm no professional. Neither of us are. But neither of us are gonna get hurt, either."

"Says the cripple on one cane."

I give her a shove as we both crack up, and then I shrug my shoulders, "Hey, I'm alive. And you are too. And this is so fucking corny but...damnit, Ellie, we're gonna get through this."

Ellie nods, looking like she's sincere, and then a smile spreads across her face. I raise an eyebrow, "What are you thinking?"

"That we need sex pep talks. Oh god, we are such messes." She chortles, and I wrap her up in a big hug, smiling myself, "Eh. Mitzi would approve."

(-_- (-_- ( -_- ) -_-) -_-)

Mikey's gone again tonight for a meeting about the trip. The other day him and I went to tell Mom about his deal. She wasn't for it, obviously, but we're slowly trying to warm her up to the idea.

It's just me and Mom eating dinner tonight. I'm soaked from the rain, and she clucks her tongue at me as I walk in the front door, "Grab a towel, please."

"Will do." I reply back, feeling antsy as I head up to the bathroom. Do I come out? Do I not come out? A part of me thinks back to the gun I hide back at our place in Baltimore after my sister and father passed. A ticking time bomb that's been locked away. Out of all the shit that we've gone through as a family, will me dating a girl be the feather to break the camel's back?

I run over my hair with the towel, ruffling it up, and then I let it drop around my shoulders as I head back downstairs. Mom's setting out the meals for either of us, and as I come the steps, "Mom, is everything alright?"

She shrugs, her voice pinched, "It's about your brother, Maria. Other than that, everything's fine."

"Is him going away really bothering you?" I ask, as she seats herself down across from me. She wrings her hands, and shrugs again, finally looking me in the eye, "It's both of you going. At the same time."

I should've known. I think, and begin to nibble at my corn.

"Mom, the school's training me. Alicia still thinks I'm going to get control of my leg. And there's a long time between then and now."

"I know all that." Mom says, perhaps a bit too forcefully. I drop my gaze to the condensation on my water glass as she sighs, "But...you also went to a soccer game thinking all would be fine and ended up on a hospital bed."

"Mom." I reach for my glass and down half of it before, "It won't be the same."

"I won't be able to handle losing you both. Not like how I lost...them."

Rachel and Dad are still sore subjects. We tiptoe around them, every conversation centered about my sister or father leaving us all walking on glass.

Mom twists the ring around her finger, and I look at her. And when I search her face, I notice how it's aged, and how the edges of her eyes are filling with tears, and I hold out my hand, "Mom."

She takes it, running her thumb over my knuckles, like I'm five and need a hand to hold through a thunderstorm. But now I'm being the comforter. And I don't know if I like the roles reversed.

"It's..." Mom blinks hard and clears her throat, mustering up a weak smile for me, "A lot to take in. I just don't understand why one of you can't stay back."

I don't reply, not wanting to push her when I'm already seeing her so close to the edge. So I only take my hand back and continue to eat my dinner.

(-_-(-_-(-_-)-_-)-_-)

"Math is bullshit."

"That it is." I reply back tiredly, wiping my eyes of sleep as we continue to plod through. Ellie looks at me out of the corner of her eyes, and brings her eyebrows together, "You alright?"

"I'm...tired." I admit, and she scooches her books off of her lap, giving me room to lie down. When I do so, she begins playing with my hair, reading off the next problem, "So, if I buy a shit ton of apples-"

"How much is a shit ton of apples?"

"35."

"Sweet Jesus. Pray continue."

"And I drop them all down a hill—" "Little clumsy there." To this I get a swat on the head as I bite back a laugh. Ellie then sighs before, "And I drop them all down the hill because my girlfriend is an assclown who trips me—" "Whoa, when did I get into this problem?"

She ignores me, "And if I drop them down a hill and they gain a speed of 70 miles per hour—" "What the hell? People could be killed by those apples!"

Ellie swats me again, but begins laughing, letting her head loll back against the wall behind us. She continues to run her hands through my hair as I stay with my head on her lap, and I close my eyes.

"Maria?" She asks, and I grunt, so comfortable that enuciating's a tiresome take, "Mmhm?"

"Are you gonna fall asleep?"

"Mmhm." Her fingers dig deeper into my scalp, and I yawn, curling up on the floor beside her. We've got class in a few minutes, but I can't bring myself to care or sit up.

"How'd things go with your mom?" Ellie asks, a bit too softly so no one else can pick up on it, and I sigh, "They didn't."

Her hands stiffen, but she continues to move them through my hair, "Shit."

"No, I mean...I didn't talk to her. She's so worried about me and Mikey leaving that..." I heave a sigh. "Damnit. I just don't want to have this thing...pushing her over the edge."

Ellie stays quiet, continuing to run her fingers through my hair, and then, "If things go sour with your mom, you can always come over to my place."

"Thanks." I murmur, and then feel her shift, smiling as she presses her lips to my forehead, "But you know that already."

(-_-(-_-(-_-)-_-)-_-)

"Ellie's my girlfriend."

I watch my mom from where I sit at the table, looking at the way her hands stiffen in the sink. Watch as the edges of her mouth curl while my stomach drops.

I take in a deep breath, pressing on, "We've been dating for a while. She suggested I tell you."

But Mom doesn't reply, doesn't say anything at all. I curl my fingers around my glass, feeling panic rising and forcing it to simmer down. There's an unspoken world hanging in the silence between us.

Finally, "You know how I feel about that...sort of thing."

Everything about religion comes crashing down into my head, and then Mom's turning, wringing her hands on a dish towel like if she wasn't they'd be doing something worse, "How do you expect to live like that in a world like this? The rest of the town isn't going to have it."

"I don't care about the rest of the town." I mutter, and she sighs, to which I press on, "I care about what you think. Do you mind the idea of me and Ellie being a couple?"

"I do." Her response is instantaneous and cold. Cold like ice and steel and granite.

I force my hands to stop shaking and look up to face her as she glowers at me, "Honestly, Maria, you know what I think. Why are you asking?"

"Because...I thought between all that time you spent teaching us about God to now that...you would've changed."

"I haven't." And Mom's voice turns curt as her lips curl, like what I'm suggesting tastes bitter in her mouth. I blink hard.

"This...is just a phase. You're just dealing with the trauma of what happened. You don't love Ellie; you just don't have a stronger word for the bond you two share."

"I do love her." I murmur, facing my lap, and she clears her throat, "What was that?"

"I do love her. It's not your choice to say who I love or how I love them."

"Maria, you don't love Ellie. You're just scared of losing people."

"Like you're not!" I shout, getting to my feet, jamming my canes into my hands to keep myself balanced. "Like you're over losing Rachel and Dad!"

"Maria." Her voice holds warning, but I press on. "Don't tell me you're over them. They're the exact reason Mikey and I aren't allowed to leave."

"How dare you talk about them." She spits back at me, and I blink away tears, "Y'know, they were a part of my life too! I know it killed you when they died, but I lost them just the same! They're not just your husband and daughter, they're my sister and dad."

Mom glares at me, but I can see everything shifting in her eyes. I take a deep breath, forcing myself to quiet down, "I love Ellie. I love her to death, Mom."

"It's just a phase..."

"It's not a phase!" And I'm angry but I'm nearing tears, so I take a swipe at my eyes and force my voice to stand tall, "It's not just the aftermath of what happened. You think that losing my leg is what turned me gay?"

"Don't talk about yourself like that!"

"But that's what I am!" I say, jabbing at my chest, pointing to myself, "That's who I am!"

Mom approaches me swiftly, gritting her teeth, and before I can react she's slapped me across the face. I drop a cane to hold a hand to my face, one ear ringing as my eyes sting with tears.

"Don't ever talk like that, under my roof." She hisses at me when I manage to face her, still in shock. "You are not gay and Ellie is not your girlfriend. You're going through trauma. This is a phase."

"Ellie's my girlfriend." I murmur, ignoring the tears running down my face, dribbling over my hand. Mom glares at me, raising her finger, "You're living under my roof, under my rules."

"It's my home too." I choke out, holding back sobs and swallowing around the huge lump in my throat. "You're not the only one who went through hell to get here. I've got every right to be who I am."

"You certainly do." Mom remarks coldly, crossing her arms over her chest. "But not here. You either do as I say or get out of this house."

"I'm gay. And so I'll leave." And with that, I crouch, grabbing my dropped cane and heading out of the kitchen, up the stairs. Once I'm safely in my room, slamming the door for emphasis, I turn on my walke-talkie.

That's when everything hits me, and after letting out a haughty breath, I pinch the bridge of my nose and cry. Tears run rampant from my eyes, and then a voice crackles through on the walkie-talkie, "Maria?"

"Ellie..." I breathe, hiccuping, and I hear the concern as she picks up the walkie-talkie again, "Hey, talk to me. What's going on?"

"It...didn't go well, Ellie." I manage, sniffling, and she lets out a huge breath, "Oh, fuck, Maria."

"I...I need...I can't stay here tonight." I'm stumbling over my words, and Ellie blows a raspberry, "No shit. I'll be over in five."

"No, you shouldn't...um, I'll meet you out there." I wipe my eyes with the heel of my hand before she replies, "I'll meet you on the street. Keep talking to me, okay?"

"Okay. I just need to pack."

"That's fine." I hear something in the background and then she's moved away from the noise, "Continue."

"Ellie, this isn't exciting." I cough out through tears, and she replies mercilessly with, "I'll be the judge of that. Remember to get all your thongs in order."

"Huh. Right." But I can't laugh at that, as I wipe my eyes and sniffle. Ellie presses on, "Fine, then I'll talk. Bet you're wondering what we're doing with all those damn apples, right?"

"Not...really." I admit, pulling out my duffel, keeping the walkie-talkie pressed to my ear and balanced on my shoulder. I begin to pack as Ellie keeps talking, "Well, Maria had this idea that we should make a pie. Tommy objected, Joel said 'why the hell not', and I pitched in to help. Majority ruled and now we've got two pies and a cobbler baking."

"Jesus..." I murmur, putting all my clothes into the bag, and she chuckles, "Yeah. I'm abso-fucking-lutely covered in flour and eggs and all sorts of shit."

I'm preparing to zip up my bag when she pipes up, "Hey, bring your school stuff too."

"Will do." And I toss in my drawstring from school, finally zipping up my duffel. Ellie's quiet as I rummage through the bathroom for a toothbrush and a towel, and then I hear Mom's bedroom door slam shut.

"Alright. I'm heading out now."

"Good. I'm right outside."

And I hobble down the steps before slipping out the front door, seeing a figure on the street in a pink jacket, pressing a walkie-talkie to her ear.

Ellie lets the walkie talkie drop to her ear as she sprints towards me, wrapping me up in a big hug as best as she can. I hug her back, pressing my face in her shoulder, holding back tears.

"It's gonna be okay." She murmurs as she hears me beginning to hiccup, and then she takes the duffel from my hands. "C'mon. I'll take this for you.

And we turn away from my house, her laying a hand around my waist, fingers grasping at my hip, "We've got two pies and a cobbler to pig out on when we get back."

(-_-(-_-(-_-)-_-)-_-)

"Should I assume that tomorrow morning we'll be lacking a pie?" Tommy jokes, seeing me and Ellie sitting at the table with forks and a piping hot pie. I manage a wobbly smile before Ellie gives him a glare, "Emotional eating. You don't need all this pie."

"We didn't need all those damn apples." He retorts, and then raises his eyebrows, "Emotional eating...?"

"Nothing, old coot. Move along." And Ellie motions him away with her fork. He rolls his eyes but ruffles both of our hair before leaving.

"They're eating an entire pie." I hear him muttering to Maria as the two pass each other, and she swats at his shoulder, "Lay off of 'em."

"But an ENTIRE pie?"

"Tommy." Maria says, and he sighs, "Alright, alright. I get it. At least they're helping us get rid of the apples."

Maria then walks into the kitchen, giving us both smiles, "I just made the bed up in Ellie's room, so when you two are done, you can both head up."

"Great. We'll go now." Ellie says, lifting the pie and beginning to stand up, and Maria gives her a look, shaking her head, "Uh-uh. Pie stays in the kitchen."

"Fiiine." Ellie grumbles, but sits back down nonetheless. Maria eyes us, and then pulls up a chair beside me, "How're you holding up?"

"Alright. Thank you for letting me stay here." I say, and she lays a hand on my shoulder, giving a squeeze, "Of course. You're welcome here any time."

Ellie pushes the pie tin closer to me, "You can afford to eat a little more."

"Thanks, but I'm stuffed." I say, and Maria takes Ellie's fork, helping herself to some of the pie before getting to her feet, "Mm. That stuff's good."

"You going some place special?" Ellie asks, and she shakes her head, "Nope. I'm wiped...I'll see you two in the morning. And Ellie, remember to turn off the light when you're done."

We give waves as she heads out and up the stairs, and then Ellie points her fork at me, "The question is, can we finish up the rest of this pie, or should we finish up the rest of this pie?"

"My stomach is gonna burst." I groan, and without warning I let out a huge burp. Ellie slaps a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing, and I grin myself.

"You're charming." She says, smiling, green eyes twinkling as she helps herself to another bite (her stomach is a bottomless pit). I fork out another piece of the cinnamon soaked apples, crunching them and marvelling how they're still warm from the oven.

"You doing okay?" Ellie asks, her eyes searching my face, and I shrug, taking a sip of hot chocolate, "I'm just glad I've got you."

Her cheeks flush happily, and she clinks her mug with mine, "I'm glad I've got you too."

(-_-(-_-(-_-)-_-)-_-)

I sit on my bed while Ellie takes a shower, sifting through the contents of my duffel bag for some shorts. I'm launched into the nostalgia of months ago, when I saw Ellie's bite for the first time, when I crawled into bed with her to prove I didn't think she was a monster. When we made Lizzy sleep on the floor and then escaped with sparklers. When we spent nights poring over her comics and tossing theories back and forth.

And now...my fingers curl around the picture of my brother and my father and me, looking down at it, remembering how happy I was to think of having a little sibling. And now I'm fifteen, and just looking at my smiling face, I'm thinking, You have no idea of the shit you're going to go through, kid.

The door opens and I instinctively face it, Ellie crossing the room with a towel wrapped around her. Her auburn hair hangs dark by her shoulders, waterlogged and dripping, and I can't help myself, "Now that we're dating, do I still have to turn around when you change?"

"Cocky assclown."

"But is that a yes or a no?"

Ellie's sighing, but smiling, and she turns, holding the towel tightly around herself, "You're still an assclown."

"Life could be worse."

She sits down on her bed, cocking an eyebrow at me, "Really?"

"Yeah."

Ellie heaves a sigh, and then shrugs, "Well, I guess you would know."

"We're both been through some shit. We'd both know." With a smile, I turn myself around to face the wall.

I hear shuffling as Ellie changes, and then I clear my throat, "Could you help me, when you're done?"

"Sure thing." There's a grunt, and then, "Okay, turn around."

She's decked out in a tank top and shorts, per usual, but I can't help myself from smiling when I see her. That doesn't sit well, "What, do I look funny?"

"No, you look...beautiful."

She scrubs at her hair with the towel, avoiding my eyes, "I know that, assclown. So, what do you need help with?"

"Can you take my shoes off?"

"Yup." And Ellie seats herself on the floor, taking one of my shoes in her hands and beginning to unlace it. Meanwhile I tug out a pair of baggy shorts from my bag.

Ellie yanks off one shoe and goes to work on the next, and I scratch the back of my neck, "Um, thank you."

She stops unlacing, giving me a look from the floor, "Maria. You don't need to thank me. I'm in this with you."

I blink hard, nodding, "Yeah."

She gives me a smile and goes back to work, finally tugging that shoe free. I undo my jeans and try to tug them down, but they're not budging.

"Seriously." Ellie remarks, and then grabs the ends of my jeans, yanking hard. She pulls with such force that my back ends up on the bed and my head slams into the wall. I'm focusing on not laughing so hard that I'm ignoring the throbbing pain in my head.

"Ellie, wait-!" I manage, and she grits her teeth, tugging harder at my jeans, "Uh-uh. I'm gonna free you from this denim hell."

I start cracking up, pressing a hand to my face to try and smother my laughter, and I prop myself up on my elbows, "Seriously. I'm good."

"Really?" She sounds genuinely surprised, and then gives a smug smile, "Thought you'd want to be undressed by your girlfriend."

"Under different circumstances, maybe." I say in my defense, and Ellie shrugs, "You ain't getting out of those things without my help."

After that, she makes an ungodly noise and yanks at the legs harder, "Dear God, what the hell? These things are killing the mood."

"Start further up." I say, and she rolls her eyes, grabbing at the pockets and beginning to tug. We make eye contact, seeing how red our faces have gone, and promptly lose it laughing.

"Oh my god. If Mitzi could see us now..." I wonder aloud, and Ellie wipes her eyes, "She'd be cheering us on."

But Ellie gets somewhere pulling down on my pockets, and I cover my lap with my shorts as she finally begins taking them off. Once they're past my ankles and finally off, she balls them up and throws them to the ground, "Boosh, assclown!"

I grin, and she turns back to face me after doing a victory dance, "What next?"

"Nothing. I've got the next part."

Ellie makes a face, twisting her mouth to once side, "I highly doubt that. I told you, I'm in this with you."

I sigh and reluctantly hand over my shorts, tugging down my shirt. She puts both of my feet onto her thighs, unfurling my shorts and then pulling them over my feet, one at a time. Her hands are warm and a part of me is comforted knowing she's not trying to embarrass me.

Ellie tugs them up further, and I prop myself up on my elbows to try and help. Finally she lets the waistband snap back at my hips, "Another success. I'm on a roll! Okay, what's next?"

"That's it." I say, and she raises her eyebrows, "Really?"

"Yup." And I begin to pull back my blankets, slipping underneath them. Ellie flips out the light to our room, and then does a run-and-jump approach, launching herself onto my bed starfish-style, "Prepare yourself!"

I barely have time to react before she's catapulted onto me, and she giggles, crawling underneath the blankets, snuggling up to me. I wrap an arm around her shoulders and she lays her head on my chest, intertwining her legs with my own.

"Your feet are like ice cubes." I murmur, and she grins wickedly before slipping them under my shirt and pressing them against my stomach.

"Ah, oh my god, too cold. Ellie!" I manage, squirming to try and get away, laughing, and she wraps her legs around my own again, her point proven.

"How're you now?" She asks, her voice barely above a whisper, and I smile, "I'm with you. That's enough."

I fall quiet though, and she looks at me, "What? What are you thinking about?"

"What if we left?"

She brings her eyebrows together, "Really?"

"What if we...just left. Left the town. Went off on our own."

"This isn't because of what's happened, is it?" She asks, and I shrug, "I...don't know."

"Things will work out." She murmurs, a small smile starting on her face. But I don't know if I believe her at this point.

I guess she senses it, because she knits her eyebrows together, moving to kiss my chin, "Just let everything settle. Don't do anything stupid."

"You're one to tell me."

Ellie laughs, and then snuggles closer, laying the side of her face across my chest. Absentmindedly, I begin playing with her hair, and she murmurs, "Yknow...I thought I might've lost this."

I stay quiet, and she continues, "When you went into that coma. I thought I would lose this and you and everything."

"It still bothers you." I remark, and Ellie blinks, nodding before closing her eyes again, "Yeah. It does. Doesn't it bother you?"

I blow a raspberry, and then shrug, "I didn't know what to think that night, or how much time had passed. All I knew was that I was either going to die or they were going to kill me."

"You never get over losing people." She mumbles, and I have nothing to add except, "I'm still here."

"And I'm lucky as hell for that, you assclown." I smile at this, and then press my lips to her forehead and murmur, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." She murmurs into my chest, sounding half-asleep already. I wait a few minutes until she actually is asleep, tugging the blankets up further. Her wet hair soaks the front of my shirt, but I don't care. I just keeping running my hand through her locks, watching as her expressions grow peaceful.

Just seeing her, I'm sent back an hour, trying to think of what I told my mom.

I love Ellie. I love her to death

And sleeping right beside her, seeing her, despite all the shittiness that's happened, I feel like the luckiest person. I do love her. Honest to God, I love her.