Morning was mocking us
Blood hit the sky
I was just happy, my manic and I

Chapter 4

-o-

He hated her, hated everything that she stood for,everything she represented, but even as he hated her he loved that tenacity that would not die in the face of her current circumstance. She was horribly impolite and forthright, traits that would not have been appropriate in the time of Arlathan and before. She was sardonic and sometime openly contemptuous of them, at times he could swear that she would give him a look or sneer that mimicked the Dread Wolf's.

They'd taken turns watching her, keeping her under guard in case she decided to make another run for her freedom. Though highly unlikely, her escape attempt would be doubly low now that they were in the mountain paths. They'd seen snow since they cut through what was now called the Emprise Du Lion, the remains of the red colored lyrium drew spirits there in droves and they had to make a conscious effort to steer clear of the small populated villages. While the path would have been the quickest way to the stronghold, Ghilan'nain had not accounted for the weather that had snow falling in continuous heaps around them. While it did not truly have an impact on him and the others, it was their prisoner and the travel weary halla that caused them to slow significantly.

They'd stopped for the first time since the village, setting up a poor excuse for a camp. With no cover to ward off the gently falling snow it was proving to be a miserable night, even with the domed barrier that Ghilan'nain and Andruil had drawn around them to keep the worse of the weather away.

Dirthamen stared at the elvhen woman while she slept,curled in on herself, her prosthetic arm tucked against her chest protectively trying to keep warm. She'd fallen half asleep atop the halla, swaying dangerously and had simply closed her eyes and laid down when the fire had be lit. At times he would notice a twitch in that shoulder, a strange tremor that ran through her whole body and he wondered if whatever remained of Fen'Harel's anchor still tortured her.

He'd been inside her mind. he'd viewed memories of her younger years and memories insignificant to their present problems more times then he would have admitted to the others .While It had proved difficult at first, either from her innate aversion to intrusive magic or the years of being neglected while he'd been trapped, Dirthamen eventually managed to slip in and out of her head without so much as a slight headache.

Fortunately no one had noticed his fascination with the quickling elf on the road, they'd all been too absorbed in their own feelings and selfish attitudes as per usual. It was a wonder that they were able to ally together at all, But for all their disregard it seemed that at least one noticed his lingering glances as their group huddled around the circle of warmth given off by the camp fire.

"You've taken a liking to our prisoner Dirth?" Andruil asked quietly in their mother episode of bloodlust seemingly a forgotten part of the day's event. Andruil would not speak of it, so it would be rude of any of the others to bring it had been that very vice that had driven the huntress into the beyond and near madness,She'd destroyed her own temples, plagued her own people when she'd returned. Luckily none knew the path anymore. let those there be Forgotten. It was a questionable decision on both her and Falon'din part to let her get so carried away.

"Only mildly" He looked at the Huntress bundled in her layers of fur, Ghilan'nain smaller frame tucked in by her side, shareing heat. They'd salvaged a few things on their journey blankets and food and things that Nerys could not make for herself as they could. And while they did not feel the cold as she did, the fire's warmth was a welcome aversion to the bite of the Frostbacks. Magic could do a great many things, But sometimes having the physical aspect could be an important building block.

"More than mildly one would say" He found himself looking at Lavellan's sleeping face again. How could he explained to Andruil that it was the woman's life he had become enthralled in. Those pieces of herself that explained these dalish elves, that told more about their people that any written text could.

It had been one thing to see the state in which the people had fallen too, and another entirely to experience through their own eyes and thoughts. He remembered, or rather he saw in her memories a chubby infant running barefoot through the glade, chasing rabbits and frogs, he felt her fear as her father protected her from a startled mother bear, and wet tears when he explained why he had to kill the cubs that would not survive without the adult. He recalled the love she felt for her mother and the songs that were song to her, the grief and feelings of betrayal when her mother took a fever that would not break..

He turned away from her, his own grief surfacing as he thumbed the parchment that his father had given Lavellan before he'd slipped into his eternal sleep.

He'd not said much to his father in over six thousand years before Fen'harel then neither had taken the chances to speak to the other, his father's anger and Dirthamen spite being too great to bridge the gap. He'd chosen rather to sleep away their sentence. He had not be the only one who had thought slipping into Uthenera was the most logical decision. Ghilan'nain , Sylaise , June, and Andruil had slumbered to, but Sylaise and June had never woken up.

They had chosen to fade, hands held fast together.

Elgar'nan, his father, had remained awake all those years searching, either for a way to escape or for his lost love's spirit he''d never know.

He pressed the paper firmly, anger making him want to tear it to shreds. He was envious of her, he knew now. Her family, her life, what would he have given to have that even if it meant to become a shemlan. Would a short life with the love of family and freedom be worth his godhood?

He looked up and he locked eyes with the man who shared the other half of his soul.

"They live interesting lives,so short...yet they experience so much in that time" His words were for Andruil but he was involved in a stare down with his twin soul. Sometimes Dirthamen would think he made a mistake binding souls with Falon'din, and other times he could not fathom how he could live without him. That very bond had saved his life more than once, but that same bond and dragged him down to ruin. He would have never been involved with that conflict that had killed Mythal, had it not been for Falon.

Dirthamen looked away first. Falon'din eyes like ice; cold,pale and still as stone.

"what does Elgar'nan say in the note " Andruil picked at a sliver of dried meat they'd taken from one of the Emprise 'du Lion's towns, succumbing to the the pains of hunger no matter how unappetizing the human food 'd swiped it from Lavellan as she slept, a letter that had not been meant for him, rude and punishable, but breaking courtesy didn't seem like such a big concern when everyone they'd known, those who'd worshipped them were dead and dust by now.

Andruil's inquiry was not idle Dirthamen knew what she truly wanted to wanted the answer to the question that he himself was wondering about. If in the end had Elgar'nan known that they had been the ones who murdered Mythal, had he suspected that it was not the Dread wolf who'd betrayed his trust in the end?

"He talks to Fen'harel and Falon…" He let the letter sit in his palm and willed it to go to the taller man ,avoiding the flames and fluttering until Falon reached out to grab it. He didn't know what he expected the letter to say. Elgar'nan had never been happy at his sons ascension to Evanuris. Dirthamens skills were dubious at best in his early years, mediocre ,but never outstanding. That doubt was why Elgar'nan had fostered the talented Falon'din instead. No matter blood, if you were not worthy to be taught it was a waste for an experienced Elder to spend time teaching someone with no talent.

His father had never believed in him, but for good reason. He'd not be a Evanuris without Falon'din.

" It has been near seven millenniums since the sinner, had he still not forgiven you? " Andruil flicked a piece of dried meat into the fire, disgust clearly written on her face. Dirthamen mirrored that looked in her direction.

"The sinner was not my fault Andruil, as you well know...that whole incident was constructed by you and your insane bloodlust" Andruil had so dearly wanted to hunt dragons. They'd been a mystery for so long, some had said Mythal had constructed them herself, others said that she'd been born from them. Either way they'd been sacred to her and were not to be harmed as decreed when Elgar'nan and she became Evanuris together. Andruil had dragged several of them into her scheme to hunt one. It was a grudge that had started one of the many conflicts between them,one that Dirthamen would maintain he was completely justified in initiating.

"You even got Ghilan'nain involved" His tone was mildly irritated. Andruil often made the most ill thought discesions. But like Falon'din she could be so very indifferent to consequences after the fact.

"I merely said in passing that if I could hunt a beast such as a great dragon,I would feel joy that would last me for the rest of my life, if Ghilan'nain heard that and sought to please me it's not either of our faults. If your disciples weren't so disregarding of status and rules she'd never been able to convince him to do so."

"Pa'ner pined for her, you knew this, she knew this. he would have done anything for her favor. You both used that against was dispicable" He narrowed his eyes and there was a heavy tension around them. He'd not noticed Ghilan'nain had awoken. Her still form resting against Andruil's arm almost completely hidden under the furs, her eyes open looking not at him but into the fire, carefully avoiding his gaze. She was ashamed. at least one of them were.

"It is the past now" Andruil waved dismissively in the air as if clearing it away. Dirthamen could have exploded but It would have done no good to argue her or draw her into a fit. His pain and regret would remain his she said..it was past.

Falon'din had disregarded the entire exchange in silence, eyes shifting across the words on the paper, the only indication of his feelings was a small sigh that escaped.

"You do not agree with his words?" He reached into Falon's mind as easily as plunging a hand into sun warmed water.

"He ask that me and Fen'harel make peace, that we are to lead our people into a new age without war, without conflict, such a idea is inconceivable"

"Is it too much to ask, for the sake of the Elvhen? to rebuild what we once were"

"Their would never be peace between me and Fen'harel, not while he knows that it was I that slew Mythal, not while he would refuse me my followers" There was an empty silence in his mind that was a signal that the matter was closed to any more discussion for now.

It was always a strange feeling of loneliness when Falon'din blocked their connection. He always felt him in his mind like a constant reassuring pressure. Without him he felt severed at times.

He looked back down at Lavellan, she'd not stirred the entire time, the journey mostly likely being more exhausting to her then to them. He hated Fen'harel just as much as the other did. being trapped away to wither and die could stoke any soft heart with vengeance,but this was not about hate, not about revenge. These children, these quicklings had held on despite everything trying desperately to snuff them out. Did the modern elvhen not deserve the chance to live how they were truly meant to live? Could Falon'din not put aside his stubborn pride to fulfill Elgar'nan's last wish?

Maybe it was is duty as a son to do so?

"Tell me about the day your father killed the bear?"

They'd been on the path for a few hours after dawn at this point. While the women talked back and forth in ancient elvhen and Falon'din continued to be determined to not speak with him about Elgar'nan's final wish ,Dirthamen could no longer stand the silence between him and the woman who jaunted along on the back of the halla.

Those green-gold eyes of hers rolled to look up at him, lips thinning.

"You really need to stay out of my head" She said at first eyes going back to focus on the road ahead. "Why do you want me to tell you?you saw it in my head, you know everything about it already" That was true. She'd been little more then five cycles old when it had would recall it exactly as he'd seen it in her mind.

"Indulge me please" He asked and he suppose it was because either she too was sick of the silence or because he'd been relatively kind to her compared to the others.

"Fine, but no more peeking inside my head, just ask me and I'll tell you" She demanded. It was a reasonable enough request, one that he could oblige even for a shemlan. He nodded.

There was a small pause as she tried to recall the event."I think it was maybe the first thaw of the spring, we were cutting through the Wildvale to get to the Palanasene forest I think, I used to collect all sorts of shells there and my mother would make necklaces she'd trade with the human's when they'd come to sale. anyway...My father was going hunting and I begged him to let me come with him, that I wouldn't spook the game and that I wanted to watch him hunt...it was completely irresponsible for him to take me now that I think about it, I'm surprised the Keeper wasn't more furious, when we returned, now that I think about it" She looked up to the sky as she spoke, most likely reaching back to those memories. It had been something so prominent in her life that it had been in the forefront when he'd gone through her head.

"The clearing we went to was filled with blackberries and my dad sat me down at the base of the tree he was perched in" He could see the glade as she saw it, all emerald green grass and tall tree's, bushes speckled with the treat that she'd been enticed by. The bear cubs, startled by her presence,curious about the child before them, face smeared purple from the berries.

" I remember my father yelling and then this huge brown bear raising up from behind the bushes. I'd been so scared I couldn't move" He had been an exceptional hunter,striking the bear with arrow from afar,leading it away and beyond her sight into the thicket.

He returned bloodied and limping, blood flowing from a gash on his head into his eye. She thought he was dying then.

"He had to kill the cubs, without their mother they would have starved or killed by wolves. I didn't understand it then, but it was a mercy…"

"I think it shaped me in a way, I felt that I owed those lives retribution, if I could..." She fell silent then and if Dirthamen had not been one for details he would have missed the coloring on her cheeks.

"You thought you owed the lives to me?" He accused and a small bubble of pride welled up in his chest. He knew that she wore his mark's before Fen'harel removed them, but had no idea that the decision had been made with the idea of repaying a debt such as that.

"I'd always been told that the bear was sacred to you!" She near yelled, the red coloring her skin to a rich umber.

Hunters were so often Andruil's. Non with battle skills were ever pledged to him. He was a keeper of knowledge, he minded the Library's ,shared the secrets of magic to those who wished to learn, documented those secrets that he could find in others minds.

"So...you would have been mine" He didn't stop himself from reaching out and tracing the path of his vallaslin from forehead to cheek, the magic of phantom ink nearly invisible, faded away but still there,still apart of her, just like the anchor. He brushed his thumb over her bottom lip,letting it fall to her chin where the blood writing would stop if they were still there.

Her mind was racing with thoughts. His touches were to intimate, he was to close, how dare he. The thought of being controlled like Andruil had controlled the dalish hunter frightened her, she would not have abide by that.

"Ir revas"

"Yes you are" He let her go and she took the moment to click her tongue, hurrying the halla forward and away from from him. He could have kicked himself for his actions. There were so many things wrong with what he'd just done. To much time spent in her head and he was beginning to think like a shemlan.

But he couldn't help but think about how lucky he would have been to gain such a person as a disciple. If she'd been born in a different era, fostered properly, trained up under a suitable elder, she could have risen high.

He watched her fall into step a little ways away from Andruil and Ghilan'nain. Both surprised by her sudden presence, Ghilan'nain turned to give him a questioning look, but he betrayed nothing, his face falling into stoic stone that would have rivaled Falon'din's.

The group had lapsed back into a long silence , Lavellan traveling alongside the women while he brought up the rear. "Let the halla rest for a moment, this altitude combined with carrying me can't be good for her" Lavellan had gotten off the creature, sinking into the snow to just above her knee's, the beast was panting softly, pawing at the snow. Ghilan'nain gave an appreciative look that none but him saw, her brown hand contrasting starkly with the white halla as she stroked it's neck

" stopping again?" Andruil scoffed.

"I can walk just fine"

"You're too slow! Tarasyl'an Te'las is not far, the beast will hold" Andruil caught the look Ghilan'nains shot her and returned it with a stubborn fold of her arms.

"Can't you just fly me there" Lavellan said smartly, he watched her hand brush against the halla in comfort and then jolt away when it connected with Ghilan'nain's. It was a request that spoke volumes of Lavellan understanding of the world, of how this new world worked.

" When you speak I am reminded of how ignorant you are shemlan" She didn't know any better, but that was not excuse enough for the Huntress. Flying was not the issue, the issue was taking her with them. She was too rooted in her physical form, to solid. If they'd had their foci, they could have done the complicated magic of altering her state of being themselves with terrible ease.

But they did not have their foci.

They were probably long lost now.

"unless you have a different plan Mother of Hares, I'll be walking the rest of the way home, we don't ride our Halla anyway" The four of them watched as the small woman took high stepped strides through the snow, pushing her way through it as best she could. She'd moved a yard or two forward before Falon'din grew irritated enough to interfere.

"This is ridiculous" Falon'din motioned for them to follow them forward, Ghilan'nain guiding the creature forward, her face contorted into one that was trying not to laugh. A snicker escaped when a startled yelped signaled Lavellan's fall into a deceptively shallow drop in snow.

Falon'din was there fishing her from the snow , hand gripping her forearm and hoisting her up with ease. With one easy motion he slung her over his shoulder, holding her like he would have held a large sack. Lavellan's dignity couldn't take it.

"Put me down!" She shouted in outrage. When Falon'din did not heed her request she resorted to thrashing. Hitting his back with clenched fist and kicking out her legs. One foot connected with his jaw and Dirthamen heard a mirthful "ouch" come from Andruil.

Dirthamen could see the angry look that ghosted over Falon'din's face and then they both vanished. Falon'din stepping into the fade.

They appeared several feet to the left, Lavellan's thrashing continuing chaotically. Again they vanished, this time ahead of them and Lavellan had begun to slip backwards, Falon'din struggling to keep her steady.

"Will you ceas-" Gone again, appearing further away than took off at a sprint towards them,eyes gleaming with laughter.

"PUT ME DOWN!" They were not insight, but Lavellan's angry yell drew them to their location. lower on a flat rise that looked out onto the other peaks. Falon'din looked disheveled but not as much as the woman who was slumped in front of him, held up by hand under her arms. He looked decidedly furious. A furious Falon'din was never a good Falon'din.

Taking Lavellan by the back of her collar, he drug the woman through the snow towards the edge, where the mountain path ended by a cliffside. Lavellan sputtered into the snow screaming obscenities and in one great heave Falon'din sent her flying into the air and off the side of the cliff.

Dirthamen and Ghilan'nain both shouted in unison

"Falon!" They watched her fall through the air screaming, while Andruil laughed and Falon looked exceedingly pleased with himself.

" Falon...you cannot mean to kill her because she did not want to be handled like a sack of feed" Falon'din looked to him from across the snow when Dirthamens words reached out to him, of course he was not going to let his emotions get the better of him. He let her scream just a little bit longer and then blinked from his location to where Nerys landed in his outstretched arms with only a dip in his knee to signal the force in which she landed.

She was still for a total of five seconds before she pushed away from him, succeeding only in being dropped into the snow.

"How did you like flying shemlan?" Andruil asked when Falon'din brought them back onto the path. Teeth clacking together from the snow melting in her hair,shirt, and boots Lavellan shot an angry look at her, but Andruil was to amused to let the look bother her.

"I'd prefer my feet on the ground thank you very much" She quipped wrapping her arms around herself and shivered severely. Andruil touched her head with the palm of her hand as she walked past her and her shivering stopped almost instantly. Surprised Lavellan turned after the taller woman.

"Thank y-" But Andruil waved her hand dismissively at the display of gratitude. Ghila'nain also touched Lavellan's arm slightly in a sign of comfort as she passed by with the halla's reins in hand. There were no words exchanged, Lavellan looking after them in confusion as Dirthamen stood beside her.

"Did I miss something?"She asked shaking the remains of the melting snow from her shirt.

"Ghila'nain does not like senseless violence and Andruil finds you amusing"He bent down, placing one knee into the snow and while she was distracted he scooped her at her waist and stood with her balancing on his shoulder.

"wha…!" She stiffened placing a hand on his opposite shoulder to stable herself as his hand slid from her waist to just above her knee, keeping her steady.

"Tell me if you are not comfortable" He looked up, her face coloring the same it had done when he'd touched her face.

"No..no this is fine" They both averted their eyes and looked straight ahead. It took much restraint to keep from sneaking into her thoughts. But he'd made a promise that he would not do so and he sought to honor it.

Maybe Andruil was right, he'd taken more than a mild liking to the woman upon his shoulders. Looking forward he caught the small pull of a smile on Falon'din profile and realized he may not have been the only one to share those feelings.