Damon's POV

I screwed up. My brother and I finally mend our relationship, Elena no longer saw me as a monstrous vampire, but as a friend, and what do I do? I kill her brother when she rejected me for Stefan, like Katherine did. I snapped.

"It will always be Stefan," I am so tired of that phrase.

What makes him so special anyway. Father favored him, and he is the love of Elena's life. What about me? I tried to be a good son, and be the man Elena deserves, but in the end, my efforts are pointless. No matter how hard I try, Stefan will always be the better choice. Elena believes I am a soulless monster, and honestly, she's right. I kill without remorse, and I hurt the people I care about. Being the good guy is not my forte, Stefan is the one with the hero hair.

Laying in the middle of the road, waiting for an idiotic human to find me, I consider turning off my humanity. What is the point of feeling if you only feel hurt. I am tired of this pain and loneliness eating away what's left of my dead heart. All I have to do is flip the switch, and bye-bye human emotions.

Before turning it off, I hear the crunching of tires against the gravel road. Headlights shine in my eyes, and my ears focus on the young woman getting out of her car, and walking towards me. The man in the middle of the road trick always works.

"Sir, are you ok?"

I look up and see a beautiful young woman. Normally, I prefer brunettes, but I would have to be blind not to notice her beauty. She has short, pixie like hair. It was the color of platinum, and her skin is caramel colored. I stare at her, unable to look away. My mother always taught me that staring was rude but at this point I don't care.

She doesn't get as close as I hoped, just a few more steps, and I will be able to grab her and drain her of blood, but she is smarter than that. She has the common sense to be hesitant of strangers.

"I'm lost," I sigh, and get up so I can look into her hazel eyes. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, and as a vampire who has killed many people in my long life time, I see the truth in that statement. When you kill someone, you see the life fade from their eyes, and all that is left is emptiness.

"Like lost physically, or spiritually," she wonders, "Either way, you are going to end up dead if you lay in the road."

"I guess you could say I am spiritually lost. I have been for over one hundred years. You see, I have a secret to tell, I'm a vampire, and I hate it. I miss being human more than anything, and after all these years of killing, it's starting to settle in. I am going to be a monster forever."

So many emotions are clouding her face. Fear, disbelief, and oddly, she is concerned for me.

"Listen, I don't know what is wrong, but I think you should see a doctor because whatever drug you are on has seriously messed you up."

Fed up with her yammering, I gaze into her eyes, compelling to be quiet and not to move. I focus on her heart beat, the blood pumping under her skin. The predator in me shows on my face as the whites of my eyes turn red, veins pop out from under my eyes, and my fangs drop from my gums. I give her a toothy grin, allowing her to see the sharp points of my teeth.

Now she is afraid. Her breathing quickens, and her eyes look from left to right.

"Why can't I move," she whispers.

"Because," I tell her as my face goes back to normal, "I compelled you not to. So. . . do I kill you or let you go. If I kill you, it will prove to everyone I care about that I am a monster, incapable of love, remorse, and forgiveness, but if I let you live, it won't change anything. The woman I love hates me, and no act of violence can hurt her worse than killing her brother. Tell me. . . would you forgive me," I ask compelling the answer out of her.

She griminess, "Not immediately, but eventually I would forgive you. Not for your benefit, but for mine. I can't let anger to remain in my heart. It's not what God wants. She may hate you now, but I know in my heart that God loves you, and despite what you think, I don't believe that you are soulless. Someone who is soulless would not care if they killed someone. You put up a front of carelessness, but I see regret all over you face."

All I can do is stare at her. Looking into her eyes I don't see fear, instead, her gaze shows love.

"Why? Why would God love me," I ask. I am curious to hear the answer.

"God loves everyone, after all, He did send His Son Jesus Christ to shed His Blood and die so that the anyone who accepts him could be saved and enter Heaven. You are included in the list of people he died for."

I remember when I was a kid, and after my father would hit me, my mom would always hold me to her chest and pray. Pray that God would take us away from the hateful Gusippie Salvatore. She told me God would help us because He loves us. Then my mom gave birth to Stefan, and died from blood loss before she could even hold her new son. My heart broke that day, and so did my faith in God.

After my trip down memory lane, I notice the girl steps closer to me, breaking free of the compulsion somehow, and puts her hand is on my chest.

"What are you doing?"

"I am feeling for your heart beat." She glances at me in wonder, "Your heart beat is faint but it's there. I've heard your desires lay within your heart. From what you have said, you want to be good, but you struggle with it. You want to love and be loved, showing me you have a heart, and I believe if you have a beating heart with love inside, no matter how deep, you have a soul. Your soul can be saved, if you are only willing to accept God's forgiveness. He can forgive all sin, even murder."

When she first pulled up in her car, I had every intention of killing her, but for some unknown reason I am going to let her go.

"Maybe God is real, because I am going to let you leave. I don't know why, but I know it would be a mistake to kill you."

A small smile spread across her face.

"Thank you. . . I don't even know your name."

"Damon."

"Well Damon, my name is Grace, and I am going to keep you in my prayers.

With that statement, she turns away from me, getting back in her car and leaves me standing in the middle of the road with the realization I forgot to compel the existence of vampires from her mind.