content warning: mentions of Deeks' torture in the season 4 finale

Deeks fidgeted nervously, trying not to look around, so that he was not reminded of where he was. Kensi sat beside, him, with a comforting hand on his back. She was admittedly impressed that she'd managed to get him this far, given that it was second greatest fear. His greatest was losing her.

This was just the dentist.

Deeks hadn't been in nearly three years – it'd taken Kensi three years to convince Deeks that he needed his teeth looked at, just to make sure they weren't rotting away, and that there weren't any cavities and whatnot.

At first, he'd given her every excuse in the book: he took very good care of his teeth; he never did anything to harm them, he brushed them daily. It had escalated quickly to ridiculous excuses such as going to the dentist was against his religion and that the tooth fairy was always proud of his teeth as a child, and that he had notes to prove it. From there, it had become begging not to make him go, followed by fights – sometimes violent – from his defiance to go.

Eventually, though, Kensi had gotten through to him, and he had very reluctantly agreed to go.

It had been easy to get him into the car, but a struggle to get him out. The excuses and defiance had all come back at once, but she'd somehow managed to coax him into going inside and sitting down.

Now they were just waiting for the dentist.

Deeks kept his head lowered because he knew that if he looked around, he'd have an 'episode', to put it lightly. He could hear small children waiting, and if he saw them, his instinctive protective nature would kick in and he'd get those kids out of there for fear that they, too, would be hurt as he had.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, taking comfort in Kensi's soothing touch. Honestly, she was the only thing keeping him from losing it completely.

"Martin Deeks."

Deeks' head shot up at the sound of his name and the receptionist nodded at him, signalling that it was his turn. A new wave of fear swept over him, and he dropped his head again, tapping his foot at a rapid pace in a desperate attempt to keep it together.

Kensi's free hand found its way to one of his and she gripped on. Her grip had a strange effect on him, as if it were the antidote to his fear. He turned his head and looked up at her, and she gave him a small, reassuring smile.

"It's okay, Deeks," she assured him. "I'm not going to leave you. It's okay."

She stood up, easing her partner up with her. He tilted his chin up so that the ceiling was directly in his line of sight, and took a deep breath. He told himself that he'd be fine. The dentist was not Siderov. The worst that could happen was a small slip of one of the tools and a small scrape to his tooth or a pinch to his cheek. No big deal. He could do this.

Kensi guided him with small steps towards the room where the dentist was waiting. With each step, Deeks grew more nervous, so he was grateful Kensi was with him.

They reached the room, and Deeks stopped. He looked down and took a final deep breath, tilted his head back again and let it out shakily. This was it. He was about to face his second greatest fear in life.

He was the one to open the door and step inside first. It was vastly different from what he remembered, mostly because what he remembered was a musty, damp shed, all alone with a bullet hole in his chest and blood dripping from his mouth.

Deeks shook his head to clear his mind. He would not think about that. This was just a regular check-up. He'd just have to keep telling himself that during this. He could do this.

"Good afternoon, Mr Deeks," the dentist greeted. Deeks instantly liked this guy. He was slightly aged, with kind brown eyes. His hand was sturdy as he shook it, but in a kind, welcoming way. He made Deeks feel at ease. Kensi could sense this, and gave Deeks an encouraging pat on the back.

"Hi," Deeks greeted, managing a small smile.

"Take a seat," the dentist offered. Deeks hesitated and he smiled. "It's alright. You don't need to be afraid of me. I'm not going to hurt you."

Deeks raised his eyes and glanced at Kensi.

"I briefly explained what happened," Kensi informed him, with the assurance that she hadn't given too much detail. Deeks nodded, appreciatively. He gingerly sat down in the chair, surprised at how comfortable it was.

The dentist clipped a bib around his neck and he looked skeptically at him.

"Just to protect your clothes from salvia and things," he explained, pulling on his gloves. He then gave Deeks some special glasses to put on, which he did. "This will only take a few minutes, Mr Deeks. Just relax and it will be over in no time."

Deeks swallowed and took a few deep breaths as the chair lowered and the light turned on. Kensi never let go of his hand.

"Open your mouth, please," the dentist requested. Deeks gripped Kensi's hand tightly again. Kensi rubbed his arm.

"It's ok, Deeks," she soothed, then bent down and kissed him on the lips, forcing his mouth open with her tongue. She then gently slipped her fingers in and pulled away. Her fingers meant that his mouth was still open. He looked at her, shocked and scared.

"Just so I can get my tongue back in there," she teased, drawing a smile out of him. She slowly removed her fingers, glad that he kept his mouth open. The dentist immediately got to work, and Kensi kept talking to him to keep his mouth open.

"After each thing the dentist does, if you manage to keep your mouth open, you get a little bit of tongue," Kensi bargained. "But, if not, you only get this."

With that, she pinched his arm, elicting a small yelp. Even though she couldn't see his eyes, she could still tell he was highly unamused. She merely giggled, glad that she could take his mind off what was happening.

After the dentist was done one of his tasks, Kensi kept true to her promise and tickled the roof of Deeks' mouth with her tongue. She got another yelp from him and she giggled again.

"Get over here, you," he growled playfully, pulling her in for a kiss, but she stopped him.

"After he's done, ok, Deeks?" she promised, and he pouted, She gave him a small peck on the cheek, then, got him to open his mouth again.

That's when a scream was heard outside. Both Kensi and Deeks moved to investigate, but Kensi pushed Deeks back down.

"I've got this, you let the dentist finish."

Deeks shook his head, suddenly petrified again. Kensi soothed him again and promised she'd be no more than thirty seconds.

"I know you can do this Deeks. I promise I will be right back."

She left, and Deeks didn't remember anything after that.

The commotion in the waiting room was a duo of desperate teenagers in need of money. One of them had the patients on the ground, with mothers urging their children to be quiet to avoid trouble. She was forcing the adults to empty their wallets. The other teenager was getting money from the staff, who were very quick to comply to avoid anything from happening to the patients, especially the children.

Fortunately, Kensi was able to talk them down quite easily. She then took their guns and the money they had stolen, then let them go. They were just desperate kids, and she understood where they were coming from. Besides, they didn't have their guns anymore, so it was unlikely they'd be stirring up any more trouble. She gave the parents and staff back their money, and then made her way back to the room where Deeks was.

As she approached, she heard a very, very loud commotion inside. She flung the door open to see Deeks throwing the tools across the room, screaming, and the dentist cowering in the corner. Kensi felt her heart sink, and she grabbed onto his hands, gently forced him into a lying down position and talked to him in a firm, yet loving voice in an attempt to get him to snap out of it.

Deeks suddenly sat upright, breathing deeply. In front of him stood Kensi, gripping his hand firmly, yet gently. He felt terrified; just like he'd felt back in that shed with Sam on the other side of the glass, and his mouth had been forced open….

He was trembling like crazy, and he squeezed Kensi's hand as if it were his lifeline.

"Oh god, oh god," he uttered out, feeling tears sting his eyes and quickly spill over the edge. Kensi pulled him in close and quieted him like a mother would her small child. Deeks regained his composure quickly.

"W-What happened?" he stuttered, still struggling with his overwhelming emotions.

"You broke down, had an episode," Kensi replied guiltily. She never should have left him, not for even a second.

"Y-You left me!" he recalled, voice shaky. He held her hand even tighter, if that was possible.

"I'm so sorry," she apologised, close to tears. She didn't realise just how bad his PTSD was until now. "I'm here now, I'm here."

With Kensi's constant reassurance, Deeks slowly came to terms with what had happened and what was happening. He took deep breaths to calm himself down and told himself that it was alright. But there was a voice in his head that was on a loop and he couldn't turn it off.

Get out. Danger. Get out. Danger. Get out. Danger.

He abruptly stood up, broke out of Kensi's grasp and ran out of the clinic. He didn't even hear Kensi's voice, yelling his name. He only knew he had to get away, and fast.

Never again, he vowed to himself in that moment, never again would he ever set foot in a dentist's clinic ever again.