...Chapter Five: Balm The Burns...

I didn't know how long I stayed planted on the floor, nor did I care. My tears had long since dried when a faint, almost hesitant knock sounded on the door, and a I numbly stood, wiping at moisture that was no longer there. It was only after I'd done so that it registered I'd done so with Petra's shirt. Stopping in my tracks for a moment, a second, much more annoyed knock sounded.

"Yeah, yeah, I heard ya." I called, again striding to the door and yanking it open, fully expecting to see Dmitri or Lauri, maybe even the Commander.

Not the Captain.

It took every ounce of tact I held, though that was not much, to not slam the door in his face and lock it for good measure. Instead, I raised a brow and stepped aside, allowing access to the mostly empty space. Captain Levi nodded as polite as anything, stepping around me and to one of the plain wooden chairs. "Might I ask what you came here for, sir?"

He remained silent as he sat down, he gaze fixed on the shirt in my grasp. At the rose petal that fell from the pocket as I waved him in. Finally, after at least two minutes, his eyes met mine, the expression in them forlorn. "That's the shirt she wore the day she signed up to my regiment. I remember the rose in her lapel."

As if I needed any more downer thoughts today... "Thank you for telling me, sir. But that's not what I asked."

The Captain sighed and leaned back, tipping the front legs off the ground ever so slightly. "You mentioned something a while ago."

"I mentioned a lot of things a while ago, you will have to be more specific." Annoyed? Who, me? Never... I was just... Peeved, that's the word.

Captain Levi sighed through his nose and dropped back to the floor. "The group you happen to be going after, there's something you're not telling us about it."

Well, damn. He had me there, and I was beginning to think he was a mind reader. Or had gone snooping through my file. Likely the latter; he may have acted superhuman, but I doubted he really was. "No, I didn't tell you the whole truth, sir-"

"Levi."

"I'm sorry?" I asked, after he snapped yet again. But this was new, in the few days I'd known the man.

He once more glared at me, his expression flashing to one of faint annoyance. "My name is Levi, not sir."

I blinked once. Twice. Thrice, as I attempted to make sense of his statement. Twice in two days had a superior now told me to refer to them by their given names. This was odd, even for our military. I'd heard stories about armies of the past, and this would have never happened then. Still, it wasn't exactly an unwelcome change. But he'd asked a question... What was it again?

Oh! "You're correct, si-, Levi."

Now it was his turn to blink in confusion. "Pardon?"

Sighing, I flung the shirt across the room, earning an eye twitch from the Captain, and flipped the second chair around, straddling it. "There's something I didn't say; but I'm positive you know what it was." It was only safe to assume so, anyway. Why else would he go to me and not my superior?

"Amaya Nieves." He began, his eyes once again shadowed. I nodded once for him to continue, not trusting my quick temper to speak. He sat up straighter, facing me head on. "Were you a member of the Church of the Walls?"

The sound of the organization's name that essentially tore my happy, ignorant life apart resulted in a tremor in my hands, and a chill down my spine. For them to bother me this much, after so many years... That irked me. My breath quaking as I exhaled, I nodded yet again, and the lump in my throat passed. Yet I still refused to meet those shadowed eyes. "Yes... Yes, Levi, I was. A low ranking member, but a member nonetheless."

The Captain snorted, and I finally glanced up. He looked, for lack of a better word, relieved. My brows pulled together, and he shook his head with the smallest of smiles. "I knew I hated you for a reason," he stated, canting his head to the side.

"Do you? Do you really hate me?"

And again, it was his turn to look confused. He almost, almost, bit his lip, I could see it, but he somehow resisted. Still playing that game of emotionless-ness, I suppose. The Captain glanced back up, the shade over his brow gone, and he said, "I don't really know. I guess not anymore, as odd as that sounds."

"Hmph," I snorted, swinging my good leg over the chair, then instantly regretting it as my weight rested on my bad one for a second. Grimacing, I waved to the door, and he nodded. As he stood and strode to the door, I grabbed his arm just in time to stop him. The shadow was back, but I refused to let it deter me. "I don't think I hate you either. Levi."

As I spoke the last word, an unfamiliar flash lit his eyes, but he simply pulled his sleeve free and turned back to the door. But he paused as his hand grabbed the handle. The Captain sighed heavily, and the handle was turned as he limped out, to where I did not know, as the door was closed immediately behind him.

Levi kept his hand clenched on the opposite handle, his breath uneven as he struggled to make sense of his thoughts over the midget. Such honesty, and to someone she claimed to have hated just a day ago. And she didn't chicken out when he insisted she call him by his given name?

Granted, she couldn't very well use his family name; that was out of the question.

Growling, his hand dropped as he stepped backwards til he stood back flat to the other wall. He remained staring at the door that encased the room Petra once occupied, now an even smaller woman, and just as talented. He had, in fact, glanced at her file the night before. And to say what met his curious mind had surprised him, to over simplify it, and lessened his dislike of Amaya.

Ten Titan kills, two solo and eight in a team. Not exactly as many as Petra, but when she completed these kills shocked him most. Five years ago, almost exactly. Right around the time the wall was first breached in Eren's home district. Actually, that day to the very second. She had been there, and as had Petra. They had in fact been in the same graduating class, even the same team for a short time. They had made those eight kills together, and had no doubt been close.

So who was he to judge Amaya for being slightly salty about meeting the superior officer who led Petra to her death? At least, that's what caused the initial reaction in his mind.

Growling again, his annoyance over the whole matter building, he stalked off down the hall and up the final staircase to his own room. Or rather, rooms, since his bedroom had an attached bath. A quite pleasant thing to have when you have an obsession with cleanliness and other shitheads don't know how to keep anything tidy.

But he digressed. He had clothes to pack, lest some other shit-for-brains did it for him and creased his suits. Limping to the closet, he took out three of his best and placed them just so in an open case. Closing it with as much care as humanly possible, he carried it to the outside of his room, where it would sit until a cadet came to carry it out to the carriage, where he and Erwin were to be 'monitored' by Amaya and Captain Jarvi.

Kind of disconcerting to think about, now that he put his mind to it. Both had been to Hell and back in the first Titan raids, and had been successful enough in their training to make it out alive with honors. And had since then created the second most deadly Military Police Brigade. Who the hell was in the first, no one quite seemed to know.

That thought was even more disconcerting, as Levi had one guess as to who it may be.

Levi was pulled out of his thoughts by a knock to his door, and now he felt much like Amaya had no doubt felt half an hour before. Trapped in a small space, with whomever stood on the other side of the door in control. A feeling he didn't much care for.

"Come in!" he called, settling down on his bed with his bad ankle crossed over his good knee, his left hand absentmindedly massaging it as in walked Eren, looking more than a little shaky. From what this time, Levi didn't know nor care. Based off the suitcase behind his feet, Levi could guess why he was up on this level, but not why Eren had dared to enter the Captain's private, spic and span space. The stupid brat probably had mud on his boots...

"Sir... It's time to head out," said Eren as he stared at the floorboards.

Ah. So that's why he was shaking.

"Noted," Levi replied, again standing and pushing past the rookie to hobble down the stairs, still taking them two at a time. He couldn't appear too weakened, now could he? As he made his way through the four levels of the castle, he saw every member of the Scouts nervously chatting in the halls, pushing against the walls to allow him to pass. Despite his best efforts, or perhaps because of, they all feared him to some degree.

Finally outside, Eren on his heels with the case, he saw Amaya and Captain Jarvi standing at attention on either side of the door to the carriage. Levi rolled his eyes as he stepped up, then stopped as Amaya broke protocol to meet his gaze. Her expression unreadable, Levi simply turned back to the carriage interior, settling in one of the seats on the right, the closest to the back. The only seat where he didn't have to watch his home fade into the early morning mist.

Funny, how he thought of that run down castle as such now.

My mind racing faster than the best horse, I stepped up into the carriage after the Commander, staring at the floor. I'd already broken protocol once, twice would reflect negatively on me. I knew Dmitri was watching my every move already, and he would be the one to submit the report on the journey. One more infraction and I was fucked over, to put it mildly.

Lauri was behind me, and he nodded politely to both commanding officers, and after him the door was shut. I sighed slightly as the horses were spurred into motion, but the sound drew three pairs of eyes. I simply examined my nails as if I hadn't been the cause of the sound. But Lauri wouldn't let me get away with bottling up my emotions; I did so for too frequently for his tastes. And his bony elbow in my side did nothing to help my sour mood. I continued my exam of my hands, but chose the wise decision in this instance and spoke.

"It's surprising, to myself at least, how quickly the government cracked down on you lot," I said, referring to the Corps. Levi remained silent, but I could sense his eyes boring a hole into my lowered head. The Commander sighed, and I could tell he was nodding.

"That is true, First Lieutenant. I suspected they would, but not quite so soon after the failed mission outside the walls."

My gaze snapped from my hands to his face, turned away from me to stare out to the world beyond. My mouth opened and shut twice in quick succession, before I again chose the wise option and did as Levi did; kept my opinions to myself. Lauri, on the opposite end of the spectrum, did exactly the last thing he should have done.

Questioned the Commander's decision.

"Then why go there in the first place?" he said, his voice holding none of the anger of the villagers, only pure curiosity. That did nothing to stop my sudden spiked irritation, and I flicked his ear, much to the other's surprise. All three gaped at me, and at my expression of something akin to fury.

"Not all of us are happy and content inside the walls. They're not called the wings of freedom for nothing!" I snapped, then continued before someone else could break my train of thought. "What, do you think caged birds are happy in their enclosures? That's exactly what we are!"

Lauri Jarvi continued to stare at me, clearly searching for words that would not further invoke my wrath. That is... Until a soft clapping sounded from the other side of the carriage. Both of our gazes turned to the Commander with faces full of confusion, just as he lowered his hands back to his lap, his eyes full of mirth. I canted my head to the left, prompting him to speak.

"That was very well put, Nieves. The driving force of our Division exactly," were his first words, and then he shocked me further with his next statement. "You'd have done well in the Survey Corps." He laughed at my expression, and my mouth hanging open, and reached over to pat me on the knee. "It's a compliment, Nieves! Please take it as such."

I raised a brow, but nodded and turned away to glance out the window. I drew in a sharp breath as I saw just how far we'd traveled. Time certainly does fly... But wasn't that only when you were having fun?

That was when Levi finally uttered a sound, something along the lines of a sigh, and my brow reached for my hairline again as I returned my attention to my commanding officers. He saw me do so and, clearly annoyed, looked me up and down, his own brow raised. "Can I help you?" he asked, his voice obviously carrying more than a hint or two of sarcasm.

I contained my smirk and shook my head, shrugging as well. "Oh, nothing, sir," I replied, emphasizing the last word. Just to earn that little eye twitch again. "It's just, when I did what you just did, I was expected to spill my every thought to cause the sigh, it's only natural for you to do the same, is it not?" I was of course just poking the bear, but some habits never die. He caught on to this, and strangely, just shrugged it off. I shrugged again, not getting the response I'd desired, then my eyes shifted to Erwin. He was...

Smiling at me?

My eyes snapped away, back to the window. The rest of the day's journey was quiet, and the setting up of camp that night was without laughter.

I skipped dinner, and had first watch. Not to look for wolves or the like, mind. To make sure no one sneaked off in the middle of the night. So you can imagine my sense of urgency when I heard footsteps nearing me. I stood as quickly as possible, slightly hindered by my ankle, and whirled to face the supposed escapee.

Eren.

But, instead of carrying a weapon, he carried a steaming bowl of stew. I huffed and rolled my eyes, saying, "Here to bribe me with food, are we?"

"No," he answered simply, settling down in my spot, my spot, and handing the bowl to me. "Here to make sure you don't die of hunger in the night." I again rolled my eyes and set down next to him with the warm bowl clutched between my chilled hands, and as I took my first bite, he continued. "Okay, yes, I am bribing you with food, but not to get away. I..." As he stopped, I nudged him with my elbow, still chewing. "I want to know more about those who helped me, before... Before whatever they decide for me."

I gulped my mouthful of stew heavily, sighing as I thought it over. "Alright," I said at length. "There once was a little girl-"

"What am I, five?!"

"Stay quiet! There once was a little girl, who loved her older brother very much..."

A/N: Thank you, thank you, once again for reading! As you can guess, next chapter is more of Amaya's story, and then, they'll reach the city. And a HUGE thank you to Frantastic1993, not only for continuing to believe in me, but checking on me when I needed it most. You don't know how much that meant to me, hon.

Disclaimer; As always, we all know I do not own the story of AoT/ SnK. Oh how I wish I did.