Shower me, oh dear you who is reading this, with your flamed knives. Lots of thanks to BrigitteoO (zus, wat doe je? How are you now? How is your cute cat? How is your dolls and flowers? *cries*), idevourbooks (our lives, it's our lives… two years ago), mgaa (kill. me.), siriuslight(kamayyy belum tewas kan luu? Sori gua ngilang gitu aja WKWK beri saya uang maz), gruvialover (*stares at you*), Momo Katsuhira-Chan (Ah, iya, gak sengaja saya terlahir di Indo wkwk ini grammatical errors-nya gak ketolongan loh, saya jadi malu. Arigatou ne^^), ChristineLel (yes, Your Majesty, please pretend I died for overall convenience.)
My two-year (and still going) missing? I can explain. I…
So, my writing still sucks. Enjoy!
''
An Ordinary Life
2
''
It's the third day after I bought this diary. I don't know why I did it, well, should someone asks it, I'd just say it looked out of ordinary and its price wasn't put so bad, so, yeah, why not?
Ah, it's already midnight. I want to sleep, I have a test tomorrow. Oh, well, gotta brush my teeth first.
''
"Juvia!" What does she want now? That Cana Alberona as always.
With half-lidded eyes, I reply, "What?"
This annoying bundle of meat coos, both eyebrows up, and sits in front of me like she doesn't have any sin in her life. I am more than happy to assure you she has loads of them. "Ohh, why are we so cool?" She then steals my book which I was reading then proceeds to slam it onto the table. Nice done, Cana. Though I must admit I don't see any point in doing that. "You are so lame, you know that?"
I shrug, "Thank you so much."
"You're welcome."
Oh, last night I pondered the purpose of this diary, didn't I? Maybe I wanted to write down my stories like all the other great persons in the world, so maybe someone stupid enough out there would remember me and say 'whoaa this girl is so awesome' when they read this diary later? Yeah, keep hoping, darling.
"Any particular thing you want from me?" I know her that deep, okay. She won't unnecessarily talk to me for dumb shits.
"Yup," she grins. I don't need any of her grins. "Since you're an otaku and all, I think you can make a few lyrics for this class to sing on the festival," she flips my book and slams it on the desk, again. I don't see the point of doing that, honestly. I'm repeating it because the dumbass also repeats it, put the blame on her. "So, good luck, my bestie!" After giving me a flying kiss, she's gone in an instant, probably to flirt with the boys.
Let's skip the boring part. I ask my dad to pick me up from school. What? Don't look at me with that look. Some people still do that and I'm one of them. Right, I know a few.
On my walk home, I think it is going to make a light rain.
Or I'm just lonely.
I have a best friend. Well, two best friends, if you divide them by places. A girl who is in love with someone who already has a girlfriend, her name is Lisanna Strauss , and a girl who has been my best friend since I don't remember when, under the name of Meredy Milkovich. I think our parents introduced us when we were both still pooping in our pants. But sometimes, I just feel like I'm alone fighting the world.
Oh, God, I sound so emo I want to puke.
I avoid a boy whose legs moving so fast, seems like he was running away from something, his mother seen after him not far behind, holding a carrot. I feel sorry for the poor kid.
I have two people that close to me, but I still feel lonely. Isn't that bad?
"I'm home!" I call when I step on my house's wooden floor then hug my Mom. My dad is either sleeping or is going to work, I guess the former fits the best for now's situation.
Better watch Nisekoi today, so I turn on my computer and open up my 'ANIME' folder, but not before I take my snacks and drinks in the fridge and make it ready for me to dig in while enjoying my favorite anime. On what episode am I again?
By the way, I saw Gray chatting with-
I paused.
Why the hell am I suddenly thinking of that stupid, dense bastard?
I stop thinking for a while and the silence is deafening. I decide to open my iTunes and put my playlist into shuffle, mockingly, it plays Jason Mraz's Lucky. I laugh sarcastically at myself and jump into my bed, leaving my ANIME folder standing by and iTunes on.
Even his name makes me lost my appetite in watching anime. I know on my table's sits my My Little Monster manga I haven't finished reading last night, but I still not having the excitement to continue digesting it. So what should I do now? I sigh tiredly, I guess I have to excel this mission that Cana gave me today, then maybe Gray will finally look at me for real? OH YEAH! Yes, the capitals are needed because I'm so excited now. I told you I have this mood-swing issue, right? Teenagers.
Blame my iTunes for playing Evanescence's Lithium.
Gather up! My notebook and sacred pencil from Meredy! Time's to work and God bless me to make use of my brain, hand, and time rightfully. They say, if you want to write lyrics about love then make your heart as the leader, so my heart, good luck to you.
Do you feel me?
Don't you feel me?
Have you read my notes?
Haven't you?
What in the name of bloody hell am I writing? This is hideous, I should burn it down into ashes.
So I did it. In the kitchen just now, I washed my hands right away, wouldn't want to dirty my room more than I must.
Why don't you love me?
After all I did for your sake
Everything you do, I record it
No other woman will have you
The only one for you
Has to be me
Have I lost my mind? It sounds so creepy and yandere-ish. Well, I do agree if I'd like to rope Gray and lock myself up with him somewhere untouched by humans.
Burn in red.
Argh why is everything I write, ugly? The pencil I have been gripping since a few ten minutes, is now staying on my right ear. Gray, you hold my sanity and you don't even know that. You sure are something. Something dense and bastardical. What? It's a diary, I'm not bound to follow the writing rules. Now my computer seems more appealing than these lame sentences I've written.
I'll finish Cana's request later.
''
Is this alright? I put my all into it, but…
"Cana, about the lyrics you requested to me, I don't think it's so good but here," I give her the paper with the mentioned lines in it, her grin is now bigger than before, she's just too sweet. Oh, how I hope paper can give you the smell of sarcasm. "If you don't like it, feel free to trash it."
I chance myself to glance at Gray beside Erza and he is looking at me.
He. Is. Fucking. Looking. At. Me.
I explode inwardly, oh damn, my cheeks feel tighter and hotter than before. If I am obnoxiously blushing, I hope he doesn't notice it. Head down, Juvia. Head down.
"Why is your face red, Juvia? Are you sick?"
Damn you, Mira.
"Ah, it's nothing." Ugh, I must be look like some masochist, because Lisanna stares at me as if I've grown two heads. What the hell are you looking at, idiot? Telepathy message status : sent.
Came a reply in my head. Dude, you're helpless. She shakes her head. Damn this sister siblings.
Beside Natsu and Gajeel who are arguing over which is colder between Ice and frozen snow I see Elfman pitying (mocking is more suitable, just to be specific) me too.
Damn the sister siblings and their gorilla brother.
I sit beside Lisanna and she is still making that I'm-tired-of-your-cowardice-just-tell-him-already face and says, "You are blushing." So I glare her down and put my best you-are-not-better-so-you-can-just-shut-up-already. She rolls her eyes.
"Ehem ehem," Cana clears her throat, though everyone knows she is just fishing attention. "Listen to this:
'I swear my pen moves itself
When it writes your name'"
I gasp in alarm. Cana, why in the name of earth do you read it now? And, shit, I gave her the wrong one!
"'I can see what's good in you
That every girl admits
You're their type'"
The class goes all d'awww. I want to scream shut up but I don't want to be called a party popper.
"'Well, yeah, but I also say
My heart goes express
When I see you smile'"
I challenge my guts to steal a teeny tiny glance at Gray. Well, maybe this is good for me. Or not at all.
"'You look my way and I'm doomed
You around me?
I go zombie'"
An arrow has pierced through my head when I see he's stopped his talk with Erza to listen to Cana's poetic announcement. To me this is not what people called singing, she can't sing. And I haven't even compose any tones for her.
"'Okay, I may be not that great
My attitude irks you
My hobbies disgust you'"
I sigh. It just is so ugh. Maybe getting out of this class will do good to me? I sigh again, it would make the scene look as if I'm really trying to get Gray's attention. I hate when I have to be so critical about everything I do just because there's someone I like around.
"'But I know you find me unique
My smile haunts you
My touch scares you'"
But then I realize I'm the one who is wrong. I let my emotions control me while I should be the one controlling my emotions. I'm so weak, I hate myself. Ouch.
"'One quick question;
What if we become a couple?
Here's a clue;
I want you to ask!'
'So, how was it? My voice is too angelic to sing it or anything?" Cana roars as the class clap their hand and congratulating me. I feel delighted, thank you.
Ah, right. What's Gray reaction to my rubbish poet? I'm so curious so don't blame me if I'm going to be looking at him a few seconds from now.
He acts like usual.
…
Did he even get the hint? Ugh, I hate this, can I change my poet now? I'll resubmit my revision to Cana later, right now, let me contemplate whether or not shall I move on from the rock-like love-target of mine.
''
"Oh God, Minato is so going to end up with Yukari!" Meredy screams as quickly as I turn on my 'fangirling' mode. "Juvia! You see the romantic scene at the seashore? Aww, OTP confirmed."
Oh, this is why I love her. "No! I think Minato's significant other is Aigis. You gotta admit she's awesome."
She gives her index finger to my head, "Absolutely no! She's a robot!"
"Doesn't make her any less lovable than humans."
Before I get the time to breathe, she continues her fangirling, "Bear in mind that the creators wanted to make Yukari as his canon partner."
"Wait wait, there are social links. Your theory is invalid."
"Yeah, let's hope my heroine will knock Aigis out or simply shut down her systems." Meredy reasoned.
"Implausible." I deadpan. "You are watching too much bloody anime, Meredy." I sigh loudly.
She goes silent and stares at me. "What's up?"
"What?"
"You just sighed like you have a ton weigh on your head."
"Well, that's because you were being in denial."
"Nonetheless, you did. I don't buy it."
"No, I-"
"Juvia, you did."
Desperately, I sigh again. "I don't know. I've been in love with him for five years and he acts like he doesn't know I exist." I kick a coke can quite hard, it flies forward then hits a tree.
"Hopeless."
I kick the coke again, "Shut up. At least I'm not asexual like you."
"What do you mean as- ugh, forget it. Here, I have an idea. How about you go and watch a movie at the cinema? Maybe it'll clear your mind off him for a while." She said, preparing to kick my coke can. I beat her to it, the can almost hits a running dog. Damn, I almost got a mini heart attack at that. Speaking of dogs, don't you think Golden Retrievers are so adorable?
"Not a bad idea. But, I'm not really in the mood to watch movies now. Besides, what are they playing? I ain't gonna watch Saw V or The Human Centipede III, okay." I get chills down my spine thinking about that movie…
"Oh, it's just Fifty Shades of Grey."
"No."
"Just kidding, calm the heck down." Meredy laughs. I don't see anything funny there. I know I can be a bit dense, but this time? I can no longer recognize who's being insensitive or who's being plain stupid? "God, I'm tired. Speaking to you lower my IQ."
HELLO, 911, I FOUND A CRZAED RUNAWAY HERE. THE COORDINATE IS-
"I'm going home. Bye."
-AT HEr home. Sorry, please don't mind me, oh kind officer.
…after thinking it thoroughly, or not, I decide it can be a good idea to just watch the movie. I like being alone for a period of time. Okay, the cinema we go.
''
I buy a ticket for a Thailand movie, Crazy Little Thing Called Love.
I've read the articles in the internet, and it's such a long time since the last time I watched this movie. I miss Nam. I think this cinema is holding an event, Reminiscing-something, I forgot. All the better for me. I need to use the bathroom first.
Uhh, this is awkward. There are two doors which both of them are explicitly written 'TOILET'. But, which one is the female's? Damn, I can't hold any longer. I've been postponing it since I literally walked from school to this place, that isn't that far, but takes time long enough for me to almost pissed my skirt. Ouch, I'm gonna take a shot, for what it's worth. So, I open the left one.
I see a man.
He sees me. This is awkward. "Uh-"
No, no! Don't you dare make a voice, young man!
"Why-"
And so, I scream, "KYAAA!"
Meredy, I love you so effin much.
''
No, I'm not dead. Just… lost. Yeah, I was lost. I'm still lost. I remembered I've actually written down the chapters from loooong ago, I just have to edit it a little.
Any thoughts?
03/06/2016 ~NollyLvn