Eyes Wide Open

Season 1 - Episode #2

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Eric still couldn't believe it. The chances of something like this happening were slim to none. Where did he go wrong? What could he have done differently? He spent most of the day Saturday wondering how he could have avoided what happened. A good coach relives every single play. He did it as a player too, and although most of his teammates didn't think too deeply about it afterwards, Eric always did. That is why coaching came so easy to him. His mind worked in strange ways, always analyzing, always critiquing.

Tami told him he needed to stop dwelling on himself, and start to think about The Streets. That family had their lives turned upside down, and he couldn't stop dwelling on himself. Leave it to Tami to call him out on it. She knew the pain they were dealing with far surpassed what Eric was feeling at the moment. Tami was just trying to put it into perspective, begging Eric to see the full picture. As Eric put his head on the pillow Saturday night, he had no idea what was going to happen next.

On Sunday morning, as they sat in church, he could feel the entire congregation's eyes on him. They were all awaiting his next move. As the people, filtered out of the church, making small talk with each other, Buddy was the only one who had the guts to broach the elephant in the room with Eric.

"We need a plan for Friday night." Buddy whispered, not wanting the whole church congregation to hear them as they filtered outside. "In fact, we need a plan for the rest of the season - is what we need Eric." Like Eric didn't already know that. His entire career was on the line and he didn't need Buddy pointing that out to him. "So tell me Eric, you think little Matt Saracen can get it done?" They both watched Matt throw the football around on the church grounds. He didn't know what to think or how to answer that. Eric knew his confidence had to shine, play it nonchalantly. If he didn't, the whole damn town would panic.

"I guess we're fixin' to find out." He certainly wasn't going to let Buddy invade the thoughts he was having about the direction of the team. "That was a nice sermon, wasn't it?" Eric asked as he walked away. He didn't need to discuss his concerns with Buddy.

Practice was rough. Rough for Eric. Rough for Matt. Rough for the assistants. Rough for the team. Eric must have said at least twice a day over the past few days, "I don't want you thinking out here. I want you to throw the ball." The irony was Eric was that same type of player, just with more skill. His coach used to always say, stop thinking and have fun with it. The fun came out of football once Eric started approaching high school. His dad made sure it. While his teammates were chugging beers and chasing girls, Eric was continually running plays over in his head. He did not want to let his father down. The game never left his mind, even when he was doing his own chasing and chugging.

When he got home, he was exhausted. His heart was breaking for Jason and The Streets. He was overwhelmed with how to handle Matt and the local radio personalities would not get off his back. Julie was doing homework at the kitchen bar, while Tami was getting ready to go out. It was probably a good thing that Tami was about to go out for the evening because he was spent. Every ounce of energy he had was left on that field today.

He continued to watch game tape as Tami came into the room announcing she was off to book club. He loved her for giving him space. She knew exactly how to handle him and he loved her for the dance they perfected after all these years.

He turned his head slightly toward her. "Hey, come here." He said in a low voice. Although he kept his head turned toward her, his eyes went back and forth between the television and her beautiful face. She leaned down to become eye level with him, knowing he was still struggling with what happened. He was watching the same play over and over again. She leaned in, her forehead touching his, finally gaining his full attention with his eyes. She held his stare, apologizing without words for what he was going through. She kissed him softly, letting him know she was there for him. "I love you", she whispered when she broke the kiss. "I love you too, babe", he said back, thanking her silently.

She didn't home too late. It wasn't until her fourth attempt that she was finally able to walk out the door. She had to get out there. When she got home, she quietly entered their room, hoping that Eric was asleep. She felt like he hasn't slept well since Jason's accident. When she saw his body under the covers she could tell he was awake. She knew all of his positions.

"How was book club?" He asked, but she had a strange feeling he really didn't particularly care.

She thought about how to answer. She thought about what her husband needed from her right at that very moment and she decided to lie. "It was great." She said it in a higher pitch than her normal voice, hoping he didn't catch the fakeness of it. "It felt good to get out and converse with adults." He didn't need to hear that those women had a hundred different suggestions for Eric about his team, his boys.

The next morning Eric took his frustrations out on their already broken air conditioning unit. "It's broken. You were right. Call the guy. I'm sorry." Can anything go right?

Tami knows that look on his face and realizes now might not be the time to bring this up. She could wait until there was less stress or he had a little more confidence, but waiting was not Tami's style. She was always direct and honest. She throws one more thing at him. "Sugar, I think it's time for me to get a job. I mean, we talked about it. We're settled. I think it's alright."

Was she crazy? She was going to start this conversation now, in the midst of all the chaos. He took a drink of cold water, when he wanted to down a scotch. "Adding that in now?" He asked, smiling because he knew he could never hold her back.

"Yeah, now." She smiled back. He started to walk away but she wanted to make sure he understood that she was serious. "I'm going to put out some feelers, alright?"

"A'ight."

"Alright?" She asked, treading g a little bit more lightly than she normally would have if the circumstances were different.

"That's great." He said less than enthusiastically, rubbing his hands through his sweaty hair.

"Nothing you need to worry about." She wanted to make that clear.

Later that evening as Eric was driving home, he reflected on his day. Smash and Riggins had a fight on the field, Matt was still struggling with his offense and Buddy was eyeing him up and down from the bleachers, questioning his abilities, falling apart at the seams. When he pulled into his driveway, he was grateful to see Tami's car parked on the right side. He needed her tonight.

After he hung up his coat and made his way down the long corridor, he found her sitting at the kitchen table, flipping through the newspaper. "Hi." She said softly, not making eye contact.

"Hey." He said with the same amount of enthusiasm, making his way to the fridge, grabbing himself a cold beer. Where should he start? "I went to see Jason today."

"You did?" She couldn't keep the surprise out of her voice. "How was he?"

"Not the kid I knew. That's how he was. He was not the kid I knew."

"I'm sorry babe." She really was. She was probably the only person in this entire world that knew how much he was hurting over this.

"Then again, he was stronger than the kid I knew."

"How's that?" She said, folding the paper in front of her, giving Eric her undivided attention.

"He actually apologized for letting me down. Letting me down? Can you believe that Tami?" He can feel his emotions start to take over, but didn't want to break down. He didn't want to break down just yet.

Tami could see he was struggling with the words, got up from the table and stood in their kitchen beside him. "I do believe it. Jason is a great kid. You were the one who saw him for the person he was, before he became Jason, the football star." She wanted Eric to know she always believed in him.

"He asked about Matt, and how he was holding up. There wasn't an ounce of jealousy in his voice. Not an ounce." He took a deep breath, gaining some composure. "He told me his thoughts on Saracen and the type of player he seemed to think he is." He looked at Tami, making sure she was still listening. "He told me he was creative, that I should free him up a bit on the field." Tears started to form, as he continued. "He told me these things, because he knew it was what was best for the team. The team he led, but now will not be a part of anymore."

Tami's heart broke for her husband, knowing Jason's prognosis was not good. Eric continued, as she just listened. "In that small conversation, I realized that I have been handling Matt the completely wrong way. Jason had to tell me that. I am lost right now, Tami." She took a step toward him, wanting to embrace him, but he took a step back, wanting to finish saying what he needed to say. "He's a good man for the things he said tonight. I told him that. I was so proud of him tonight. I told him it was guys like him….." He couldn't get the rest out. He struggled to maintain his breathing, without completely losing it.

Tami took another step toward him, reached her arms around his shoulders to let him let go. He needed to release some of the pressure he was holding on to for the past week. "He let me off the hook. He knew I was blaming myself and he let me off the hook. That kid is something special." He embraced her fully now, needing to feel her in his arms.

"He is." She simply said, "But you are something special too."

The next night when they met at Applebee's for dinner, Tami could see the stress still existent throughout her husband's entire body. As he came over to where she was sitting, he was reminded once again of how lucky he was. He gave her a kiss before sitting down, placing a gentle hand behind her head. It was their signature move, expressing they wanted a little bit more than they could have at the given moment. Eric was usually the one who initiated the sex in their relationship, but at this moment, even Tami felt like it had been awhile since they had been intimate. She always thought sex was a good stress reliever for Eric, but no too long ago, Eric educated Tami on the topic. If she thought about it, this was right around the time, he started this job in Dillon, where stress levels took on a whole new meaning. "I want to be in it 100%. I don't want to be distracted. I want to take my time and make love with every part of me, including my mind."

She laughed when he said it. She knew he had his moments where that statement had been completely false. Eric liked to "empty his tank", as he called it, before big games. She also knew sometimes what he needed was just a quick lay. You get to know someone after years of marriage. As they got older though, Eric made statements about taking his time and not going through the motions. He loved their active sex life.

She held back her laughter when she realized he was serious. He was such a strict militant with his boys, how he handled boosters and parents and he was also rigid with the media. With her, he softened. He wore his heart on his sleeve. He held his ground on many things. Yes, they disagreed and argued about things because they were not afraid to be honest with one another. Despite that, he loved her and trusted her more than anyone else.

He took a seat across from her and apologized for keeping her waiting. She wanted to lighten the mood so she can break the news to him. She really didn't want to add more stress. "It's alright. I made a couple of dates for next week, one with a hog farmer from Rio Tinto."

"Hog farmer from Rio Tinto?"

"MmmHmm. I always liked hog farmers."

"That's a new one." He knew she could get as many dates as she wanted and she always likes to remind him with these sorts of silly statements. He knew, though, he never had to worry about her faithfulness. He had his full trust in her. "Where's my daughter?"

"Your daughter is at dance rehearsal which I told you about 20 times. How was your day?"

"My day? My day was..."

She interrupted him, not caring about his day because his bad manners trumped anything else. Sweetie? Would you take your hat off at the table?"

He gave her that look that she loved. She was pushing him and he knew it. He obliged, admitting he was wrong, brushing his hair back with his hands. "You look so cute." She said staring at those greenish, hazel eyes.

He told her to go first, to disclose the day's events. The bad news was about the air conditioner, but what she considered good news concerned him. It concerned him way more than he let on. She was going to be a counselor at HIS school? She was going to be getting involved with his boys? She was going to be part of his professional life? This was sitting well.

"You know guidance counselors can be a nuisance and we're going to have some interactions." And not fun kind of interactions that he was used to with her. She told him she already took the job and that didn't surprise him in the least. When Tami wanted to do something, rarely did anything get in her way. "What happened to the consultation we were going to have?"

On Thursday night or game eve, as they often referred to it, Tami waited for an absent Eric to come home for dinner. She knew him well enough to know he was still in his office going over game tape. She grabbed a 6-pack of beer and headed over to meet him. She needed to make sure he was okay, although she knew he wasn't. As she pulled up to the dark school, the only light that filtered out of the concrete structure was the one from his office. She could see the television on and his slumped form at his desk. She needed him to come home. She wanted him to stop dwelling on what was going to happen tomorrow.

She knocked lightly, not wanting to startle him. He kept his eyes on the television as he spoke. "I saw you pulling up."

She walked over and stopped as she got right behind his office chair. She rubbed one hand through his hair, messing it a bit, loving how sexy he looked when it was untamed. As she put the cans of beer on his desk, he asked "What's with that?"

She didn't answer, leaning down to kiss him. "Fields empty. Let's go make out." Such a sophomoric suggestion, bringing both of them back to a place and time when that was a typical Saturday night for them. Sex, beer and football - Eric's three favorite things. His low laugh was like music to her ears. With all the stress, she hadn't heard him laugh all week.

His teammates always hung out on their high school football field. They would bring cheapest beer they could find, a pigskin and make some memories. They would trash talk about each other, locker room talk about girls and honestly talk about the future. Mo would always locker room talk about Tami. There was no doubt that Mo didn't love her, but sometimes Eric thought he loved her for all the wrong reasons.

Mo would always try to get Eric to engage. Eric had not one, but two rally girls follow him around, plus an always willing steady girlfriend and few cheerleaders offering him things that he barely spoke about. He never cheated on his steady girlfriends though. Although he thought it was honorable at the time, he would always break up with his steady girlfriends first, when he wanted to act on those other offers. His dad was always faithful to his mother and taught him to be, at the very least, an honest man.

The summer before going away to college, he and Tami were finally a couple. She finally dumped Mo and he made sure he was available the instant word got out that Tami confronted him about his cheating. So when Eric emerged from the mart with a 6-pack of beer, asking Tami where she wanted to go, she said something that made him completely nervous. "The field's empty. Let's go make out."

"Make out?" He asked, turning to face her in the front seat of his car while turning the key in the ignition. "Make out, make out? Or just make out?" He wondered what exactly she had in mind.

She laughed, unbuckled her seatbelt and leaned over, using her right hand to cup his face. She placed a small peck on his cheek, and another on his earlobe before whispering, "You're QB1 and it's your field. Use that mastermind of yours and I'm sure you can figure it out."

It wasn't that Eric was nervous about being with Tami. It wasn't their first time, but he was nervous being on that field. That was a sacred place with the guys. He didn't know who was going to show up there and he certainly didn't want to have a run in with Mo.

She could see the wheels turning in his head, contemplating her offer. She needed to close the deal, kissing his earlobe again. "I know you're like a boy scout Eric. You have a blanket in your trunk and are prepared in more ways than one." Eric always used condoms. "I want you to call your orders out to me on that field tonight." She turned his head so she could kiss him square on the mouth, but he still was so tense. She pulled back to look into his eyes, trying to read his thoughts.

"How many times were you on that field with Mo? Honestly Tami?" He didn't want to be Mo's sloppy seconds.

She could see a bit of hurt in his eyes, but she was proud to give her answer. "Not one. I didn't trust Mo not call you guys down to watch. I also don't think Mo wanted any of his other girlfriends to see him with me like that." The she turned the tables on him. "How many girls have your brought on to that 50-yard line, to satisfy your cravings?"

"Are you kidding Tami?" He smiled, loving the man she thought he was. "Let's go. This will be one of our firsts, together." She smiled back, not realizing how sensitive Eric Taylor could really be.

She took a seat across from him, the 6-pack sitting on his desk. He spoke about his concerns for Matt tomorrow. He wasn't ready to be QB1. He was so stressed out about it, because he cared about his boys. Underneath all the yelling, he loved his boys. The town expected him to lead them to State and nothing short of that. His concerns for even winning a single game were at the forefront of his worry.

Tami listened to him and encouraged the words to flow. Eric needed her now and her support was everything to him. She waited for him to finish, digested the information and began to speak. "Well, I know what you're going to do. You are going to mold that boy. You are going to mold Matt Saracen. Just like you did Jason Street."

Eric continued with his worry. He had no time to work with Matt. He was ultimately afraid that a few losses would mean the termination of his employment. He even went as far to admit that he was only there because of Jason. That job was his because of Jason and his family. It hurt to admit it, but he did. He could put it all on the table In front of Tami.

She didn't seemed phased. "You know what? There is not a person in n the world that could do this, except for you." He looked up at her, not sure if he should believe her kind words. "This is what you do. I've seen you do it with my own eyes. I believe in you. I believe in you with every cell of my being."

"Thanks Tami. I love you for that, but I need to take the next step here and I don't know what that is."

She got up, came closer to him.. She slid the beer cans across the table making room for her to lean against the desk. "You need to learn who Matt Saracen is. You need to understand him so you can understand how he thinks on the field, how he executes. Find out as much as you can about him. Learn about him and let him learn about you." She closed the gap between them and gave him another kiss. "Try not to stay out too late." She said it suggestively but knew he didn't catch it. He was too focused on what to do next.

He took Tami's advice and called Mac. He learned some things about Matt that he couldn't believe. He was a hard worker. He got good grades, he had a part-time job, he had football, he had a dad in Iraq and he had a coach that yelled at him all week. How did this boy hold it together? He knew after learning all of these things, that Matt was tougher than he could have ever imagined. Between Tami's encouraging words and learning of Matt's daily struggles, he started to see a glimmer of hope. He saw that maybe, just maybe, this whole thing was not impossible. As he often did, he took action when he got excited about the prospect of something great. He asked Mac to meet him at the field as he drove over to Matt's house.

Whatever pre-determined notions he thought he revealed to himself about Matt, he was still surprised at this kid. He was embarrassed to invite him into his house, he lived with his grandmother who was very sweet, but looked dependent on him. He was wearing some sort of fast-food uniform and he look of exhaustion and fear on his face. Eric wondered if right from practice today, he went to work. When did this kid have time for his studies?

Eric remembered the struggles he had of his own. His dad put an immense amount of pressure on him, but he was there. He truly believed in Eric. He supported him and Eric never doubted that. He spoke to Matt about his father as they made their way onto the football field that night.

He needed this boy to trust him. He needed to open the gates and let him take control if he wanted it. He knew Matt had a lack of confidence that was not going to work trying to be a leader, trying to be QB 1. This boy needed guidance. This boy needed a role model. He needed someone to believe in him.

Matt didn't know why Coach brought him out there tonight, but it felt good. The only thing Matt Saracen was sure of was that he loved his Grandma and he loved football. Those two things were the only constants in his life. Eric had to invest the time so he would look at him as a constant too.

Tami was in bed by the time he arrived home. She heard him come in, hearing the faint sounds of his evening routine. He would hang up his jacket first, and then put his shoes by the front door. He would then walk down the hallway and throw his keys either on the counter on the table. She then heard the soft thud of his hat hitting the surface. She waited for him to enter their bedroom before speaking softly, letting him know she was still awake. "How'd it go?"

"It went." He simply said. "I think I made some progress."

"Good." She noticed he looked a bit more relaxed than when she left him earlier in his office.

He made his way over to her side of the bed, sitting on the edge. "This kid is so much like me, it's scary." She looked from her, to his hands, folding them in his lap.

"Why? How can you tell?" He rolled over onto her side so she could face him.

"He's has to work so hard every day, Tami. That kid is the responsible adult in his home. He has to care for his grandmother. He has to go to school. He works a part-time job every day after practice. He has all of those responsibilities and, on top, football." He was hoping Tami would see the connection. "That kid impressed me tonight."

Tami knew the correlation he was trying to make. Eric had two part-time jobs in high-school, a demanding father, a religious mother he expected him attend church twice a week and football. Tami could remember how thin Eric was spread, remembering at times feeling sorry for him. "I'm sure you impressed him too."

"You impressed me too." He said, unfolding his hands and brushing a strand of hair away from her gorgeous face.

"I did?" She asked, sitting up, surprised by his words.

"You got a job in one day. You managed to talk me off a ledge. Thank you for your words today." He explained. He leaned in slowly, wanting to kiss her, but halted as he looked into her eyes.

"They weren't just words, Eric" She leaned forward to meet his lips, placing a hand behind his head. "They are my true and honest feelings." She pulled him toward her, kissing him deeply, her head pushing back into the pillows as he climbed on top of her. He moved his lips down her neck as his hands moved up her arms and crossed over to her breasts. He gently squeezed, circling his thumb around her nipple.

"I'm proud of you, today and always, Tami." He trailed his lips down toward her chest. "Let me show you. I am here 100% mind, body and soul."

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