Nevermind
Season #1 – Episode #11
Disclaimer: This episode was created by Peter Berg and written by Elizabeth Heldens. Recognizable dialogue is hers. Flashbacks in italics are mine.
To all the guest reviewers: Thank you for taking the time to review. I do wish that I could update quicker than I do, but it seems impossible at time. I do hope that you all remain patient as I try to get each chapter out. I also love the blanket scene – it sort of gave me the uncomfortable chills which means they did a job well done.
Natbenson: Love? That makes me smile. Thanks for the review.
Naguabo: Maybe I will have to end this with a future chapter as Eric and Matt have beers discussing the hard time he gave him, huh?
ICanStopAnytime: I loved that locker room scene. Quite possibly one of my favorite moments of season one. Eric will definitely self-reflect at some point on his own behavior. I agree that Eric is so much smarter than he lets everyone see. Of course Tami sees it though.
"Perfection is the order of the day, anything else is unacceptable. Understood? We leave the mistakes up to the Westcott Warriors." Eric spoke to his team during the AM practice. Each week, it's another team, another pep talk, another plan of attack.
After that the assistant coaches usually take care of the administrative crap that Eric never wants to deal with. Mac mentions some sort of team dinner that they have to attend and all the players groan. Eric wanted to groan too, but knew he had an obligation to this town. His boys had to go. They were like local celebrities and they had to make their appearances.
"Uh-Uh I don't want to hear it. You'll have your jackets. You'll have your ties. There's going to be no foul language. You're not going to make jackasses out of yourselves. Don't embarrass me. Don't embarrass the school. Understood?" He was in charge of the way these kids acted and they knew better than to disappoint him.
A part of him liked the power he had in forcing them to things like this. He got to keep an eye on them, especially when he knew how easy it was for them to run around this town recklessly.
Tami had her own power. Later that day, she had Tim Riggins seated across from her because he was failing his English class. She wasn't stupid. She knew what it meant is Tim failed. She knew what it was going to mean for her husband, but she couldn't relent. She hated that his boys got away with certain things because they were on his team.
It drove her nuts now, and back when Eric was a player, it drove her nuts then.
Mo was always looking for the next party. He was reckless when it came to drinking and occasionally smoking pot. Tami liked that fun side of him, but she had to admit that it sometimes got to be too much. So, it didn't surprise her that on a Wednesday night Mo convinced someone to have a party. At her locker earlier that day, Mo walked up behind her and pulls her into his arms. Party tonight, baby."
Tami turns around and sees Eric standing behind Mo, with Laura hanging behind him. "I can't." Tami immediately says.
"I haven't even told you where the party is. Hear me out before you say no."
She laughed. "No."
Eric smiled at her nonchalance, especially when Mo was so excited about it.
"I bet I change your mind by the end of the day." Mo said with confidence.
Mo was right. Tami was there. Eric noticed her standing a few girls she seemed to be friendly with. Mo was, of course, the life of the party. He is loud and borderline obnoxious. Tami would never admit it, but she hated when he got like this. Actually she hated when he got like this and she was stone cold sober.
Eric sees her say her goodbyes and starts heading for the door. Eric is sober too, and stops her hand from turning the knob. "Heading out?"
"Yeah." She pulls her hand away from him.
"You're just going to leave him here?" He nods his head toward Mo.
"Believe me, he's not going to notice if I'm gone."
Eric disagreed. He knew Mo would notice and behave in a way he wouldn't if she was there.
"Why don't you stay for a little bit more? What's the rush?"
"I have to get home and study for American History II." She eyed him suspiciously, but then rolled her eyes. "You should be studying for it too. We take that class together. We have a big exam tomorrow."
"What's with the eye roll?"
"You're a Panther. It figures you don't have to study. Must be nice."
"I don't have to study because that's my easiest class. I'm just naturally good at remember historical facts. Unlike your boyfriend, I actually work for my grades."
"You do?" She asked, not believing him for a second.
"Yeah. Unlike your boyfriend, I don't have the luxury of not caring about school. I don't have the rich daddy who will turn over his real estate business when I turn twenty."
"Must be nice." Tami makes the same dig, but this time at Mo.
"Can I take you home? I haven't had anything to drink. I can drive you."
"I'm actually going to walk. I need some fresh air to wake up a bit before I hit the books."
"Well, I'll walk you then."
"I'm fine. You don't have to."
"Listen my father taught me to never let a girl walk home by herself. My intentions are good here." He explained.
As they walk, he keeps his hands in his pockets, not wanting to accidentally touch her in any way. He couldn't help but think about it though. He realizes he really doesn't know much about her. He knows she hates rally girls, never wanted to be a cheerleader and has been dating Mo what seemed like forever. He makes a brave move. "Tell me something about you that I may not know."
"Huh?" She is surprised by that request. It seems little personal, almost like crossing an imaginary line drawn by her relationship with Mo.
"Come on."
"Last week, I tried out for the varsity volleyball and I made it." Tami figured that was a safe topic that he might find interesting. He was a jock at heart.
"Really?" He couldn't keep the surprise out of his voice.
"Yeah. Why are you so surprised?"
"I don't know." He didn't know what to say next so he made another bold move. "Does Mo know?"
"Not yet." She honestly didn't think he would care.
"You better tell him because you are going to have less time for him if you play a varsity sport."
"I don't owe him anything Eric. I don't look at dating Mo like a job or something. There's give and take."
"Okay." He says, irritating her a little bit.
"I'm serious. My life doesn't revolve around Mo."
"Tami Hayes is her own person." He said, a little bit surprised, a little bit turned on. Again he makes another bold statement. "I like that."
They got to the top of her block and she knew she had to wrap this conversation up and she wanted the last word. "Good."
"Good luck with your studying tonight." He teased.
"I don't need luck, Eric." She walked up her driveway and left him standing there, wondering a little bit more about Tami Hayes.
Tami doesn't want Tim to get away with never doing anything on his own. She can't help it and knows it is immature, but his attitude reminds her of Mo and that frustrates her to no end.
"You get help on your homework, Tim? Maybe from the rally girls?"
"No."
"Never?" Tami asks again, knowing he is lying.
"Not once!" Tim says it with a knowing smile.
Tami decides to take this conversation a different route, hopefully catching him in a lie. She decided to bring up the Scarlett Letter paper Julie wrote and how she struggled with it. "Did you write that one?"
"Oh yeah."
"You did?"
"Yup!"
"Oh. Could I see it?"
As they walked to his locker, the sound of Tami's heels romping on the floor was reflective of her anger. With each step, her aggravation of his lies grows within her. Tim opens his locker and hands her the paper.
Wow." Tami said, knowing this whole thing is a charade. "Modern themes of the Scarlett Letter. A minus. What's the Scarlett Letter about, Tim?"
"You know what it's about."
"I do know. What's the Scarlett Letter about?"
"It's about a gal, uh, named Scarlett. Obviously."
"Tim! You did not write this paper!" Tami is disappointed because this confirmation is going to cause trouble with Eric.
"What's the big deal?"
"The big deal is, it's part of my job to make sure you don't grow up stupid. It's bad for the world."
Tim couldn't help but laugh. He couldn't see the correlation of how not writing a Scarlett Letter paper makes him stupid.
"That's not funny, Tim! That is not funny! So you know what? I'm making it my personal responsibility that you don't get any more free passes from your teachers. From here on in, you are going to sink or you are going to swim – based on you. Based on your work. You get me?"
Tim starts to get nervous as he speaks. "We are two wins away from playoffs, Mrs. Taylor."
"I appreciate that."
"The timing of this couldn't be worse."
"Well, I'm sorry."
"If I don't pass, I don't play."
"Well then, we better get you to pass."
Tami walked Tim to the library to find Tim a tutor. She knew if she implemented this rule for Tim without some sort of a plan, Eric was going to kill her. She knew he would eventually see that she was right, but she knew better than to leave it up to him to help Tim educationally. Unfortunately, she was going to have to have that awkward conversation with Eric tonight.
At practice after school, Coach Crawley grabbed Eric's attention. "Coach Taylor, you see this?"
"Huh?"
"Texas Football Magazine. Top 10 high school coaches in the state of Texas. You're on this list."
"Oh, there's no livin' with him now." Mac joked.
Eric took a look at the magazine. He knew better than to react, even though he was surprised. He never showed his stripes. "You better watch what you say. It says up and coming."
Eric was taken by surprise again when during one of the water breaks Matt introduced him to his father. Eric experienced a weird mix of emotion. He was initially happy because he could see how happy Matt was that his father was home. "Coach."
"Yeah."
"This is my dad. Henry Saracen." Matt announced proudly.
Eric and Matt's father shake hands, Eric putting all the pieces together. "Pleasure to meet you. You're on leave?" Eric could see the excitement in Matt's eyes.
Then he felt jealous. He knew that Matt looked up to him as a father figure in the absence of his father. He saw how easily he could be replaced. Eric knew it was irrational. The boy did, in fact, have a father who cared enough to come and watch a practice.
"Yeah, he's home for two weeks."
"Well, that's good. You get to see son play a little bit."
"I hope so."
Eric notices that Matt is hanging on his every word, wanting so desperately to impress his father. "Well, he's done a hell of a job leading this team, I tell ya."
"Not too much trouble from him?"
Eric notices the smile on Matt's face, loving his dad is being playful at that moment so Eric plays along too. "He's a little bit of trouble. Not too much trouble."
"A little bit, huh?"
"He's been a pleasure to teach. I'll tell ya that."
"I didn't know he had it in him."
Eric saw Matt give him a deflated look telling the story that Matt's father did not really believe in him. Matt begged with his eyes to stick up for him.
"He's got plenty in him. He's been a good team leader out here. I tell ya what. You can be proud of your son."
"I hope he can keep doing okay under pressure."
Eric couldn't help but notice how upset Matt was at that last statement and suddenly Eric becomes angry. Who was this man chopping down his son without even getting the chance to know him at all?
Happy for Matt.
Jealous for no reason.
Angry at Henry.
All in the matter of a two minute conversation.
As his dad walked away, Matt knew what Eric did for him right then and there and he was grateful. "Thanks. Thanks Coach."
"Get some water." It was all Eric could muster. He didn't want to get emotionally invested in a conversation on his field. Those were reserved for his office or his home. The boys were to work, and only work, on his field.
Later that night, Tami was pulling the garbage cans to the curb as Eric pulled up the driveway. He didn't realize how late he was until he saw his beautiful wife doing his chores. It was an unspoken list of household duties they shared. She always did the laundry, he usually did the garbage, they both cooked and both cleaned up.
He hated that she was taking over his responsibilities. He hated when she did this because it made him feel like less of a man. He didn't know why. He knew she was independent, but it sometimes made him feel like she really didn't need him. Something as simple as throwing out the garbage brought all of that emotion out in him. He knew it was probably because of his father. It wasn't until he became a husband and father that all his dad's words of wisdom made any sense to him. This was one of these moments. "Take care of her Eric. Pull your weight around the house. Let her know that there are some things she shouldn't have to do. It doesn't have to be manly things, but any household things. Let her lean on you. Give her that opportunity."
He lightly honked the horn to get her attention and he pushed the button to lower his window. "Hey, I got you." He was referring to letting him feel needed.
"No." She said as she put her hand on the plastic handle, tugging at the final can. "I got it."
"Come on, now."
"I already dragged the other one out here."
"Come on now, let me help you." He hopped out of the car as quickly as he could, not even bothering to close his driver's side door.
"…I can drag this one out too."
"No…" He said rushing over putting his hand on the other handle, trying to take control.
"Oh you're just going to do the last three feet…"
"You're just going to complain about it…"
"…and take all the credit for it. I'm not going to give you the credit now."
"I got the trash." He said again, fight her on it.
Just at the moment, they both lost control of the can and a week's worth of garbage spilled out onto their grass.
He looked at her as he rounded the pile, smirking as he cupped her face and kissed her.
"I can't believe you just did that."
He let go of her and leaned over to start picking up the mess.
"I'll get it." He changed the subject while he worked on the task at hand. "Let me ask you something. Did you by chance make it your personal mission to take over the education of Tim Riggins?"
"I am actually. You know I found out that he's been having the rally girls do his homework for I don't know how long." She started to help him with the pick up.
"Look, that's very nice of you, but we both are aware of the no pass no play policy."
"Yeah, I'm very aware of that." She stopped picking up the garbage and placed her hands on her hips. Why would he bring that up, she thought, trying to not immediately become defensive of her actions.
"And if you would just think about this…"
She tried to stop him right there. "I know you are not going to say what I think you are going to say..."
"Just for the next couple of games until we advance to the playoffs…"
"…because you know what the answer is going to be…"
"That's all I'm saying." His hands were outstretched, almost like he was begging for her to do what he was asking. It was like all those years back when he was practically begging her to go out with him, to give him a chance.
Except they weren't teenagers anymore. They had jobs, at the same school, dealing with the same kids and there was going to be conflict.
She stopped him again. "You know what? He's been cheating honey. And I don't even want to ask you if you knew if he's been cheating, but he's been cheating and I know you don't want me to turn my back on that."
"I didn't know he's been cheating and I know how important the kid's schooling is. What I'm saying though t is for the next couple of games…."
"Do you though?" She challenged. "You think it's as important as winning. I mean really? Do you?"
"You're really asking me that question?" Now he started to get mad. Why did she always have to question his integrity?
"Yes, I'm asking. Can you answer it?"
"You really asking me that?"
"Can you answer the question?"
"No, I can't answer the question because you won't let me finish talking!"
"Well, you know why? It does not do Tim Riggins a bit of good to grow up ignorant, mean and dumb!"
"What are you talking about?" He knew this was going to happen. He knew this type of interaction was bound to happen.
Interaction.
"It's what you are encouraging with these boys."
"I'm not encouraging that. I know how important his education is."
"No. You're making him feel like what this town makes him feel ike which is that football is the most important thing. If we send that message to him, that is what he is going to believe."
"You've got to be kidding me." He knew she was right, but he would not give her the satisfaction to admit it right at that moment.
"I'm not kidding you. You know I'm not kidding you. I can't believe we are even disagreeing about this."
Eric's cell phone rings. As he picks up the phone and angrily waves a dismissive hand at Tami she continues. "I can't even believe you are asking me to do that."
As Tami picks up the rest of the garbage, she hears Eric's one sided conversation with someone who he addressed as Coach. She is fuming right now and barely listening, but stops when she hears Eric say "Well, I can't make any commitments obviously."
When Eric hangs up the phone, she still feels a bit of anger from there battle over Tim Riggins, but can see something in Eric's eyes. It looks like a mix of shock and wonder.
"What? Who was that?"
"That was an assistant coach over at UT. They wanted to know if I had any interest in a Quarterback coach for next season."
Tami felt all the earlier stress melt away, and a smile spread across her face. "Nah-Ah?" She knew what a big deal that was. College Ball. Eric's dream.
Typical Eric doesn't show much emotion. "That's what the man said." He started walking back toward her, knowing she understood the weight of this.
"Nah-Ah? Really?" Now she couldn't keep the light laughter out of her response.
He put his hands up as if he was surrendering to her, and he couldn't keep the smile off of his face either.
"Get out of here!" She said loudly, almost screaming. You're full of it." She rushed over to him, putting her arms around him. He chuckled and she asked again. "Really?"
He knew that look in his eyes and it wasn't one she saw often. She saw that he was proud of himself. She leaned in, wrapping her arms around his neck , and kissed him. "Really?"
He hugged her back. "Yeah."
She pulled back to look into his eyes. "How did that happen?"
Eric thought back to today and what spurred the call. "There was a list that was published today. The college recruiters probably saw my name on it."
"What list?"
"In some magazine."
"Eric, stop!" She sometimes had to do this with him. She sometimes had to let him know it was okay to be excited about something he wouldn't make a big deal over. "You were in a magazine today? On a list? A list for what?"
He pulled her close to him, letting himself get excited for a second, smiling over her shoulder. "I was ranked as one of the top ten up and coming football coaches in the state."
"Are you serious?" She had a tendency to make a big deal out of things like this, but that is why he loved her. She was his biggest fan. "How can you fight with me over garbage, then over Tim Riggins, then over the parameters of my job when you were sitting on this? I'm so proud of you, honey."
She kissed him with more passion this time, lingering longer than she probably should have on their front lawn. She opened her mouth inviting him in, as their tongues dueled for a moment before he pulled back.
"Thank you." He felt the familiar stirring in his pants and decided to ask, "Is Julie home?"
She knew what that question meant, and felt herself get a bit heated to her core. "Not until 9."
His mind drifted back to the phone call. "College ball, Tami. After all these years, it's finally going to happen."
"It's happening because you worked so hard for it. Something like this doesn't just fall into your lap."
"Let me take you inside."
"Nah-Ah." She smiled. She unwrapped her arms from around his neck and grabbed his hand. "Let me to YOU inside."
He chuckled. He loved how much she understood what all this meant to him, what it meant for their family. He followed her through the front door and he closed it behind them. She turned left and into the confines of their bedroom. He eagerly followed her and he again, shut that door behind him.
She spun around and kissed him hard, his back slamming against the door he just closed. She tugged at the lapel of his blue Panthers windbreaker, urging it off his shoulders. As she tossed it to the ground he cupped her face, pushing his tongue passed her lips. Her hands moved quickly to his belt and as she unfastened it, he moaned a bit into her mouth. His tongue probed past her lips wanting to deepen the kiss. Her hands worked diligently, unfastening the button and carefully pulling down the zipper. His khakis slid down effortlessly and her hands now moved to the waistband of his boxers. She slid her finger back and forth underneath the elastic, teasing him. He moved his mouth to her neck nipping and pecking at her flesh while he groaned a low sound, wanting her to do more. As she pulled down his boxers, she herself slid down to her knees. She was eye level with his erection and as she put her lips around him, she heard the loud thump of his head being thrown backwards against the door he was leaning up against.
"What are you doing to me?" It was all he could manage to get out.
She laughed lightly. "I think you know." Her tongue came out to play a bit and in between swirls she spoke. "I want to show you how proud I am of you."
He placed his right hand on her head, trying to control how easily he was about to lose control. He loved when she did this to him. It wasn't as often as he liked, but it was enough to know how good it always felt. Tami started to move her head up and down, using one hand to touch his balls while the other moved underneath her mouth. When her tongue flicked the tip of his erection, he roughly pulled her head back. He didn't want it to end right then and there. He stepped out of his boxers and pants and knelt down across from her. He cupped her face again, staring into the blue orbs of her eyes. "I am proud of you too. This is not just about me, Tami. You have zigged and zagged in and out of jobs, PTAs, book clubs and friendships for me and my job. I am proud of you too. I know that isn't easy. So no matter what happens, let celebrate you too."
He pulled his blue Panthers polo over his head, and tossed it with his windbreaker, pants and boxers. He looked at Tami and quickly unsnapped her dark jeans and tugged them down. He pushed her backwards to lay down as he covered her with his totally naked body. His erection pushed against the dark green thong, the last obstacle in his way. He reached below between them, pulled the lacy material to the side, and plunged into her. She moaned at the pressure, feeling the rug burn at the small of her back. He held still, waiting for her to adjust around him before moving in and out of her.
"Thank you. For all that you do for this family, for my job, I love you Tami."
It didn't take long for Eric to release himself inside of her. The blowjob was almost too much prior to fucking her, so he knew this was going to happen. He knew she didn't come. He hated when that happened. It was another piece of advice his father had given him.
"Eric, when you find someone you really care about, you are going to want to satisfy her more than want to satisfy yourself." Eric's father knew he slept around and slept around often. "I know you can't see that right now because you are 16, but one day you will. Continually make sure she is satisfied first because I can promise you that once you are, you will be done."
"I'm sorry. I couldn't hold on." Eric said, reluctantly pulling himself off of her.
She smiled that sweet smile he loved. "It's fine, Eric. I wanted this to be for you, but I do appreciate what you said. Thank you for acknowledging that." She tried to lighten the mood. "Orgasm or no orgasm."
He gave her a look that told her to stop because he was embarrassed. She never understood that. After all these years, after the countless times they made love, how can he embarrass so easily?
The next day Eric witnessed Tami's action going into effect. Mac questions what the hell Tim was doing in the weight room, listening to Landry read to him. As much as he loved Tami, he really resented the fact that she was always right. It always took him longer to get there and realize it, but eventually he always came around. Last night, they never finished their argument, but he knew he didn't have much of a fight on his hands.
That night Tami got ready for the team dinner their family had to attend. She liked getting out with Eric, even if it was for a football function, since he tended to be a homebody. Julie was going to the dinner with Matt and meeting them there. Eric had a late meeting so she was waiting for him when the doorbell rang. When she opened the door, Jason was sitting in his wheelchair, sweating from what looked like a rigorous workout to get there.
Jason was there to see Coach, but after Tami explained he wasn't home she invited him in for something to drink. She felt terrible that Eric wasn't home when Jason made such an effort to see him. As Tami poured him some water, she mentioned the possibility of Jason returning to school. She didn't want him to think that getting his high school degree was impossible. He was so very close to graduation.
Jason surprised her with his response. "I don't know if I'm ready to be part of the Dillon High rumor mill right now. I've got enough to handle."
Tami took a seat across from Jason at the table, and spoke softly knowing the sensitivity of this subject. "Are you talking about that thing with Lyla?"
"I'm just so confused, you know? It's just…" He struggled with what he wanted to say and how he wanted to say it. "I saw Lyla the other day and we just…" Then he realized who he was talking to and didn't want to seem weak in front of a man he worked years gaining his respect. "…Don't tell Coach, please?"
"No. No."
"But I, kind of, sort of tried to get back together. I want to, I just want to, you know, but I'm having such a hard time with it. It's just…It just…It's Lyla. I wish it was someone else. I wish it was someone different. I wish I could just hate her and walk away from it and be done with it because it would be so much easier. "
"A lot easier" Tami agreed.
"But I love her and we were going to get married."
"It's a hard thing. A hard, hard thing." Tami couldn't help but really think back to when she and Eric faced something similar. "But I will say…." She thought about how to word this. She waited for him to look at her so he could digest the weight of her words. "…there's no weakness in forgiveness. If that's what you decide." Looking at the hurt Jason was feeling reminded her of how Eric felt at the very beginning on their relationship. It took a lot for Eric to believe those words she just spoke.
After Eric witnessed Mo and Tami kissing in that diner parking lot, he didn't know what to do. The immature teenager wanted revenge, wanted to even the score. He could have taken all his anger out on Mo, but what was the point? He didn't care about Mo. He knew what Mo was – a spoiled brat who got everything he wanted. Losing Tami must have killed him and Mo trying to get Tami back seemed inevitable to Eric. Whether or not Mo knew Tami was with Eric was a moot point in Eric's eyes. If Mo wanted something, and in this case it was Tami, Mo was going to get it. He didn't expect anything less from him.
It was Tami. After all he sacrificed to just get a date with her and she turns around and deliberately undermines his trust. Eric spent that entire night thinking about why she would do that. After his buddies pulled him away from watching Tami and Mo reconnect, he drank himself into an oblivion. By the end of that evening, his friends convinced him that he could move on. He didn't need her. He had plenty of other girls that wanted him. Drunk Eric believed that to be true.
When Eric woke the next morning, his sobriety mixed with being hungover and dehydrated, only made the situation with Tami hurt that much more. She called him that day, but for some reason didn't come to the phone.
Tami knew that was odd. She and Eric had made a habit of speaking to each other during the day, mainly to solidify their evening plans. That night she decided to go to the local hangout and meet up with friends since it was clear Eric was blowing her off. She couldn't understand what could have happened in the matter of a day that would make him act like a total jerk.
As the evening unfolded, she figured it out. She saw one of Eric's buddies from the team and as nonchalantly as possible asked where Eric was.
"He's home. He didn't feel like coming out tonight." That was all Steve had to offer.
"Oh. Okay." Tami wanted more, but didn't know how to get the information she needed. "Is he sick?"
Steve laughed. "Probably hungover."
"Ah." Tami thought for a split second, maybe that was all it was. He was so hungover he just needed some space. "What'd you guys do last night?"
Steve realized that she had no clue what Eric witnessed and wasn't afraid to let her know how mad Eric was. "We went to the field. Eric got wasted. Scotch." He said simply.
"Oh. Okay." As Tami was about to walk away, she heard Steve say something that put a sinking knot in her stomach.
"You really did a number on him."
Tami spun around and gave him a curious look.
"He saw you last night with Mo. We all did."
"What?" Tami was shocked. "What did he see exactly?"
"He saw Mo kiss you. He saw you kiss him back."
When Tami quickly replayed the events of last night in her head, she tried to remember how it all happened.
"We left, but he assumed the rest."
"Assumed what?"
"Everyone knows your history, Tami. And everyone knows Mo always gets what he wants."
"That's bullshit." Tami hated that Eric thought she betrayed him. "He didn't see how it all unfolded."
"Do you blame him?"
"He needs the whole story. I…" Tami was about to defend the situation, but Steve stopped her.
"You're telling the wrong person. But the person you should be telling is not going to be easy to convince."
Tami went home, upset by this revelation. Her mind was clouded with how to handle it. She wanted to go over to Eric's right now and explain herself. She wanted to yell at him for not having any faith in her, in them. She wanted to let him know that he can trust her. She also knew that sometimes people need time to cool down so she thought it best to wait until the morning.
Morning came and the more Tami dwelled on the situation, the madder she became. How could he not see the whole picture? How could the last few months be erased on a misunderstanding? How could he not see that there had to be an explanation? How could he just jump to conclusions?
Now it was her turn. She was the one who needed to cool down. Their unspoken words to each other over the past two days spoke volumes between them. They have not gone that long without talking since the day he agreed to prove he could wait for her and not see anyone else.
The next day, she saw him at the community pool. He was by himself, sitting on a towel. She noticed the girls in the water looking at him and decided to take matters into her own hands. She walked over to where he was, and tried to start a conversation. "Hey."
He started to get up when he noticed her walking over to him. He didn't want to have this conversation with her while everyone could watch their entire relationship unfold and likely crumble into pieces. "I can't talk to you right now."
"Well, I want to talk to you." She said, keeping her voice down not wanting to make a scene.
"Ah-ah. Not this time Tami. You're not getting your way this time." With that, he threw his towel over his shoulder and walked away from her.
Tami wanted to follow him, but knew this was neither the time nor the place. She could tell Eric was hurt and neither of them needed a dramatic display of their first and hopefully not their last fight.
She stayed at the pool a little while longer not wanting to draw any more attention to herself. She knew Eric must have went home or to work out, but she wasn't going to chase him. Later that night, after dinner and before she turned in for bed, she heard a light knock on her front door. Tami's mother was already in bed, which left Tami to answer it.
When she opened the door, she saw Eric standing on the porch, the light shining on his face. She could see the sheer anger in his eyes. He walked down the two steps and toward the driveway and as he expected, Tami shut the door lightly and followed him. She watched his quick, determined steps wondering how far he was going to walk.
Then he spun around. He had his hands on his hips and his eyes were as wide as she ever seen them. His bottom lip was pressed tight against his top one.
"How can you humiliate me like that?" He was staring daggers into her soul.
"Like what?" She now knew he didn't know the whole story.
"You know what! All this time it was about you trusting me and you're running around behind my back with Mo."
"I'm not running around…." She tried to explain, but he didn't want to hear it.
"You made a fool of me. You didn't want to tell anyone about us for two months in fear that you would be judged. That people would be laughing at you as the fool. And this whole time, I was being played. I was the fool."
"That's not true. None of what you are saying is true." She raised her voice a bit to get her point across.
"So what? My eyes deceived me?" He asked incredulously. "You and Mo didn't kiss in a parking lot with me watching from right across the street?"
"Eric, please…."
"You know what Tami? Shame on me! Shame on me for believing in you."
"That's it? This is going to end just like that?" She snapped her fingers to demonstrate how quickly he was willing to throw what they had between them away.
"Let's be honest Tami, we are not ending something too deep. We haven't even had sex yet."
"So what?" She yelled. "Sex measures my feelings? Is that what you think?"
"Clearly it does. You had sex with Mo and look at you. You fall right back into his arms the second my back is turned." He turned away from her and started to walk toward his car. He spun back around, the distance a little greater. "I guess what you have with him will never measure up to what we have because you refuse to let me…."
"Fuck you!" She seethed. "How dare you?" She was pissed. She was exhausted. If that is how he felt, why bother explaining it.
Eric was on a roll and wasn't planning n stopping. "And the worst part is, if I didn't see it with my own eyes, would you have ever really told me?"
Tami took a few steps closer to him as she thought about how to answer him. "Honestly? Probably not." She said quietly. She never told him about all the other times Mo tried to get her back. She didn't see the point, but now seeing Eric like this, he deserved to know.
"Well, at least you have the capability to tell the truth."
"You know I have a right to be mad here too, Eric. You won't even give me the chance to explain. Yes, Mo kissed me. He said things that made me feel sorry for the relationship we no longer have – a relationship you really don't know too much about." Eric was listening and she needed to get everything out before he got in that car and drove away from her forever. "You must have left before you saw how that kiss ended. Let me give you a recap. I told him I could never trust him. We could never go back to what we were. I told him he could never kiss me like that again." She chuckled about what she was about to say next. "I told him you have never given me a reason not to trust you." Tami kept going. "But the truth is it was, you who never really trusted me."
"That's not true" He dismissed. "I trusted the fact that you would never let that happen."
"I'm sorry that it happened. I'm sorry that you are hurt. And while we are being honest, this is not the first time Mo has tried something like that. It wasn't until the other night that he knew about you and still tried. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but you can't go around blaming me for every little thing that goes wrong. You can't base the seriousness of our relationship on the amount of sex or lack thereof as a meter."
"I didn't mean that." He said.
"You have a choice here Eric. You can forgive me that I let something like that happen although I feel like I handled it the best way I could have in that moment or you can walk away from us."
Tami could tell he was struggling to let it go and knew there was only one thing in his way.
Pride.
"Eric, there's no weakness in forgiveness. But you have to trust me too. We have to trust each other if this is going to work – especially that in a month we will be living in two different cities and two different colleges."
"Okay." He simply said.
"Okay?"
"I don't know what else to say. So I'm saying okay."
"I'm sorry."
"Okay."
Jason left and eventually Eric came home. He rushed to shower and put on a suit so they can get to this dinner on time. As his tie dangled around his neck, he walked toward the kitchen.
"I'm ready. Sorry."
"Hey. Hey." She tried to stop him before he turned toward the front door to get his shoes.
He stopped in his tracks as he felt her walking behind him. "Yeah?"
She pulled at the tie.
"I'm going knot it in the car."
"She pulled him in for a kiss. "You look good in a suit."
"You always say that."
"That because you always do." She wanted to get out what's on her mind. "You trust me, right? Mean fully trust me? Because I love you and sometimes I don't say it enough."
"Hey, where's all this coming from?" This was strange behavior for Tami, a woman who rarely needed reassurance.
"It's just something I was thinking about today and I want to make sure you know how much I love you."
"Is this the part where you want me to say you're right? You were right and I was wrong?"
"Huh?"
"About Tim and the cheating?"
"This has nothing to do with that."
"Oh. Okay. Good. Come on, let's go. We're going to be late."
Friday night, the Panthers played the Westcott Warriors. Eric is utterly disappointed in Matt's performance and knows it's because his Dad is there. Not only is he there, but he's practically on the field and not in the stands with the rest of the spectators. Chance after chance, Matt just can't seem to get it right and Eric has no choice but to pull him out of the game. "Step out. It's not your night son." He never saw Matt so distracted. He'd have to deal with that after that clock counted out. Thankfully, Smash brought the Panthers to victory.
After the coach's meeting, Eric walked out of the locker room to handshakes and slaps on the back. Then Eric sees Matt arguing with his father. He stays put watching it unfold. The next thing that registers in Eric's head is how disrespectful Matt is being right now. He hears Matt say "Go to hell, Dad." No boy should speak to his father that way. Eric didn't know the situation and he listened intently as he saw Tami and Julie watching as well.
"You know I thought you were going to come home from Iraq and actually be able to help, but you've only made things worse. You know, actually? Why don't you just go back to Iraq because things worked out a lot better when you were there."
Eric knew better than to step in. Matt was out of line. His dad was in the Army, serving his country. He should have some respect for that.
"Really? You calling me all the time? Help me. Grandma can't do anything right. I don't know what to do."
"I'm sorry, but it's hard to pay the rent and go to school and take care of grandma…" Eric realized Matt really did not have it easy and continued to look on.
"Try being me for five minutes."
"Try being you?" Matt asked. "What have you done?"
"You think I want to come home to this? Now get in the truck!"
"I'm not getting in the truck. I'm not going anywhere with you."
Tami stepped in and told Matt to come home with them. Eric silently watched Tami take control of the situation, knowing when he got home, he was going to have to talk to Matt – not as a coach, not as his girlfriend's father, but as fatherly friend.
When Eric got home, he saw Matt sitting at the kitchen island with Tami and Julie. "Come on son, let's go outside and talk."
Matt followed Eric outside and took a seat in one of the chairs, while Eric stood over him. "Tell me what's going on."
Matt told him the whole story about how hard it's been with his dad home, how he wants to put his Grandma in a home. This means he won't have a legal guardian and he is supposed to move to Oklahoma."
Eric offers to talk to his father, but Matt doesn't think that will help. "Listen, we are all family here. I will do anything I can for you. You know that." Eric wanted to let him know he had him to look to for help, for advice, for guidance.
Matt tried holding back the tears not wanting to break down in front of Coach. "I hate him. I hate my dad."
"Hey. Don't do that." Eric knows that statement too well. He spent years feeling like that toward his own father. He wished someone set him straight to help him realize that his father really only wanted to best for him. "Don't make that mistake. You think about what you just said. You get ready. Go, come inside and I'll take you home."
Eric didn't know why he was so upset. If he was Matt he would hate him his father too. But he wasn't Matt. He was a father himself and he hoped Julie would never feel that way about him.
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