Between the Lines

by suezahn

Disclaimer: All characters depicted herein are the property of Lucasfilm, Disney, etc. My only profit is in the form of readers' feedback. Please be generous!

Note: This story was originally written in 1995 and has now be revised and updated for consistency with the rest of the Kismet series. Please note that the OC name Kristin Aldritch = Keris Aldric now. I decided the old name was too "Earthy." A very special thank-you to my lovely proofreaders: Erin Darroch and Marjorie Joyce. The original story was awarded STAR aWARdS Best Long Story 1995.

Chapter 2

"So I told him to stick it in his afterburners."

"You didn't!" Struggling not to laugh, Princess Leia Organa almost dropped her mug of steaming kaffe. She set her drink down on the table and looked back up at her lunchtime companion and confidant. "What did he do?"

Lieutenant Keris Aldric, chief of communications on Echo Base, was at the moment playing to her royal audience with a flair that deserved applause. She made a fluid shrug of her shoulders and picked up her own mug. "He stormed out."

Leia's dark eyebrows rose in surprise. "Ah, that probably explains why he left early on his mission to Argus." Her expression grew into a frown as her own mind made uncomfortable comparisons with another smuggler pilot under the Alliance's hire. She toyed with her mug, swirling its contents. "You don't miss him?"

"A little, I guess," Keris confessed. "It wasn't all sweetness and light, though. He could get on a kick about some inane problem and never quit about it. Take those blasted Tauntauns. If I'd had to listen one more time to his complaining about how he couldn't get the stink out of his ship, I'd have screamed."

The princess nodded in sympathy with her friend's frustration. She knew too well what it was like to deal with someone who could be very obnoxious when he tried. Even though Keris admitted from the start that she hadn't intended Captain Wendel Shaelt to become a permanent mate, the last few months had led Leia to believe that Keris's opinion had changed. Leia was thus surprised by her friend's nonchalance. Goddess knew, she felt anything but casual whenever sparring with Han Solo. "I don't know how you can be so calm about his leaving."

"Oh, he's a little miffed right now, but he's due back soon enough." She shrugged again. "We'll probably work it out." A devilish glint entered her eyes and she winked at the princess. "The makeup sex can be worth—"

At that moment, their conversation was interrupted by a loud crackle that came from the public address system and echoed within the small confines of the Mess. An instant later, an amplified and staccato masculine voice blurted out: "Testing, one. T—ree. Testing, one—" The sequence began to break up into more static, then cut off entirely. There were a few laughs from other personnel in the cafeteria, and both women grinned at each other in amused exasperation. It was yet the latest problem to confront them in their efforts to establish the base.

"Wish I knew what's playing havoc with the PA system," Keris sighed. "It keeps cutting in and out on its own." She was responsible for maintaining reliable communications. Naturally, she was also one of the first to hear about it when things didn't work. "Just when we seem to get all the bugs worked out of the system, we've got to move out and start over from scratch."

"I know." Leia gave a reluctant glance at the chronometer set in the sleeve of her thermal suit and then reached for her white gloves as she slid out of the booth. "Break's over. You'll have to keep me updated."

Keris gave Leia a knowing leer as she got to her feet. "As if you don't have enough scandal on your hands."

Leia had known Keris for nearly two years now and certainly well enough to expect such a taunt. She fielded it with the practiced finesse of someone used to prying. "There is no scandal, but people are going to believe what they want to believe. I can't do anything about that."

Leia knew that her companion was on a crusade to drag out of her the sordid details of her intriguing relationship with the Corellian smuggler Han Solo. While Keris's decade of additional experience and insight put the princess at a serious disadvantage at times, Leia was determined to keep her silence, and wouldn't budge a centim. Keris also seemed to be aware that something significant had happened on Ord Mantell because the tension between princess and smuggler had ramped up to a new pitch.

However, beyond the standard answer that Captain Solo was "just a friend," followed by a recitation of all his leadership and piloting abilities, Leia was remaining silent. Of course, what she hadn't said could fill a library of data disks.

As they began walking back towards the Command Center, Keris continued with her prying. "So, when's Captain Solo due back?"

"Any day, I suppose. I really don't keep that close of an eye on his schedule." Leia ended that statement with a look that dared any further prodding. She was in charge of supplies and thus of shipping as well—it was her job to know exactly when the Millennium Falcon would be returning.

"Riiiiiight," Keris drawled. Then she silently snapped her gloved fingers and reached into one of the pockets of her insulated coat. "I almost forgot. Here, this is for you."

As they walked, Leia held out her hand and watched as a golden coin was placed in her outstretched glove. "What's this?" Upon closer inspection, Leia could see that it was an old and worn decorative token, probably of some historical value. An interesting but rather loose depiction of a bird in flight was imprinted on one side and a short phrase filled the other side. After a moment, Leia read aloud: "Free of spirit, free to dream."

Mind abruptly elsewhere, Leia came to a halt and used her other hand to flip the coin over once more. She stared at the emblem, getting the distinct impression that it was as traveled as it was old. There was something familiar about it.

"Nice, isn't it?"

Leia's attention returned to the present and she blinked at her companion. "What is it?"

"A membership token from back when there used to be a Spacer's Guild. Now it's more of a lucky piece. You keep it with you all the time and it's supposed to bring you good luck—so you never get the shakes while flying, I'm guessing. That's what he told me, anyway."

"Who?"

"Wendel."

"Oh."

"He's Corellian too, you know."

Leia absorbed that tidbit of information. "No, I didn't know that... So why are you giving this to me?"

"Actually, it's supposed to be from both of us." Keris cocked an eyebrow in gentle amusement as she reached out to tap the coin nestled in Leia's palm. "We figured you needed all the help you could get dealing with Solo."

Leia didn't know whether to laugh, feel offended, or take the meaning of their gift to heart. She was sure, however, that she didn't need busybodies arranging her affairs. "Thanks a lot, but I'm starting to wonder if a big stick wouldn't be more effective."

The lieutenant leaned closer as if to impart some universal secret. "Men developed stubbornness into a science. We fashioned it into an art form."

Dark eyes widening in feigned wonder, Leia shook her head as she resumed walking. "You're simply full of wisdom, aren't you?"

"Go on, laugh now," Keris teased as she stayed in step beside the princess, "but everybody sees the way you two—"

Both were forced to come to a sudden halt as Han Solo swung around the approaching corner as if he had the entire base to himself. Unable to stop fast enough, the collision between smuggler and princess was unavoidable. Startled by his appearance from out of nowhere, Leia let out a little yelp as her boots slipped on the icy floor. She flung her arms out to regain her balance and the lucky talisman fell from her glove. Although also caught off guard, Solo recovered fast enough to catch Leia by the wrist and upper arm before she could fall flat on her seat. He hauled her back up so that she could replant both feet on the hard floor.

Han let out a little laugh. "Whoa, easy there, Your Worship. What's the hurry? I'm back."

Leia's initial surprise was mixed with embarrassment and growing indignation; she truly hadn't expected him to arrive for another day or two. "You...What do you think you're doing?! Why are you back so soon? Who do you think you are, anyway, flying around corners like some—"

Han leaned in close to cut her off in mid-rant. "One at a time, Sweetheart." He gave her a palpable once-over in obvious appreciation of the tight fit of her Alliance-issue thermal suit, a new look he seemed to approve of. He dragged his eyes back up to hers and offered his most charming smile. "Did you miss me?"

Her indignation surged to the surface as she planted her fists on her hips and ignored his bait. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be hauling equipment to Sullust, not disrupting base operations by—"

Han shook his head in patronizing disagreement. "You hired me because I'm fast, remember?" Han arched an eyebrow as if an idea had just occurred to him. "Or at least that's the excuse you gave to High Command, isn't it?"

Leia's glare was hot enough to burn through the thickest Hoth glacier, yet it seemed to have little effect on her target. "You're suffering hallucinations, Captain. Perhaps you should report to the Med Center."

Han threw his shoulders back as he straightened up to his full height. "Oh, there's nothing wrong with me."

"Good. Then I'll see that General Rieekan reassigns you immediately." Inspiration struck and her smile filled with satisfaction. "From what I understand, they're in need of volunteers to ride the Tauntauns. That should keep you quite busy."

He coolly measured her sincerity, then leaned in close once again, his tone an intimate rumble. "Is that a threat, Your Worship? I'm a hired freighter pilot, not some farmhand. Maybe it's time I moved on if you're beginning to confuse the two."

Leia stood her ground, weak knees be damned. She would not be intimidated by his close proximity, nor by his words. Not this time. "Maybe you're right," she answered, her chin tilted up in defiance. I'm calling your bluff, you insufferable ass.

There was a visible shift in Han's expression as he met her unwavering gaze. Leia's normal response was a heated denial, but it seemed to dawn on him now that all bets were off after Ord Mantell. She had changed the stakes and upped the ante.

Ice crunched off to the side as Lieutenant Aldric shifted her stance. Reminded of their attentive audience, Leia tightened her jaw with forced casualness. "Excuse me, but I'm due back at my station. I suggest you pay more attention to where you're going before someone gets hurt."

"I'll do that," Han muttered, breaking eye contact as he sent a quick glance toward Leia friend, clearly still thrown off by her shift in tack.

Leia stepped around him within the narrow corridor and marched with a purpose toward the Command Center. Good. Let him stew on that for a change.

Keris trotted to catch up with her a moment later. "That went well.…"

Not about to stop her double-time pace, Leia shook her head in frustration. "Never mind."

"Care to explain that little scene?"

Leia skidded to a halt just outside the Command Center door and turned a glare on her companion. "Goddess! I would think it's quite obvious. That was so...typical."

Keris appeared to scrutinize the princess for a second. It wasn't the first battle of wits she'd witnessed between the volatile couple, Leia realized, but it was one of the angriest. Any caution during their public spats was abandoned; the personal agendas couldn't be clearer if spelled out on a comp screen. "Not that it's any of my business—" Keris began in a careful tone.

Leia gave her friend an exasperated as-if-that-would-stop-you look and turned to trigger open the door.

Only half-staffed due to personnel shifts between the bases, the Command Center was quiet. The computers, plotters, and other equipment left little room for the personnel. Thick cables snaked across the floor, making maneuvering through the chamber difficult and potentially hazardous. As they approached their posts, two swivel seats along one bank of computer screens and control panels, they both frowned at what the technicians had been up to during their midday break. The lieutenant's computer screen had been removed, the internal electronics exposed and half disassembled.

"Great," Keris mumbled, gesturing at the disemboweled contents of her scanner as she flopped into her chair and reached for her com headset. Out of habit, she went to hang it around her neck, then seemed to realize the futility and tossed it on the countertop of the communication console between them. "Look at this mess."

Leia settled into the chair to Keris's left. "At least you won't get bored putting that back together," she suggested with a touch of satisfaction. She hoped it would be enough to distract her friend from what she'd just witnessed in the corridor.

It was Keris's turn to send a caustic glare. "That's some comfort. I'll remember that the next time you need any help with inventory." She poked through the wires and circuits for a moment, but it was clear her heart wasn't in the work. She glanced around them. Seeing no one within earshot, she looked back to the princess, who'd already begun to tap keys to direct the columns of supplies and financial figures scrolling across her screen. "Can I ask you something personal?"

Leia debated whether or not to respond. She stared unseeing at the numbers on her screen, then damned her better judgment and nodded her permission.

Without further preamble, Keris dove in with a whispered question. "What happened on Ord Mantell? You've been dodging the question for weeks. You two were never this hostile before. Something's changed and if you don't tell me, I will start guessing on my own.…"

Leia made her own cautionary glance around them to discourage any possible eavesdroppers. Only then did she meet the lieutenant's steady but coaxing gaze. If there was one thing about their friendship that the princess appreciated most, it was this sort of opportunity to speak of personal matters with another woman and not worry about ulterior political, social, or sexual motives. Leia's inexperience with matters of the heart was no longer a secret between them.

Although she'd dealt with a continuous stream of suitors before and during her short tenure in the late Imperial Senate, she'd never considered any of those men seriously. There were many reasons to marry an influential woman of royal heritage, none of them having to do with true affection. Maybe she was an impractical romantic to expect more, but she'd always found the overwhelming majority of those men boring or boorish. She believed she would recognize the right man when he crossed her path, and until that spectacular, fireworks-exploding moment, she would practice the proper etiquette of flirting and keep those men at a safe distance. The trouble for Leia now was that the spectacular, fireworks-exploding moment seemed to have happened with the wrong man.

Leia knew that Keris, on the other hand, had once been happily married. Her husband had died several years ago during an Imperial raid. Now in a semi-serious relationship with another man (a Corellian at that!), she possessed a wealth of knowledge that Leia found intriguing. She proved more than willing to offer advice whenever Leia asked, and even when she didn't. She also provided comfort without the usual strings attached, an invaluable rapport Leia had never enjoyed within the royal courts or senatorial halls. Even with Luke, whom she regarded as a close friend, there were taboo subjects Leia couldn't bring herself to discuss with him, Han Solo in particular. If anyone could understand her predicament, Keris could—couldn't she?

With grim determination, aware that she was about to let down her last shield of protection, Leia drew a deep breath. "I told you, the mission itself went perfectly. We've got a full Bacta station on each base now because of it. The problem was…what happened afterward." Keris remained silent, patiently waiting for her to elaborate. Leia struggled to find the right words. "You were right. You were right all along."

"Oh," the older woman responded in simple realization. "About Han?"

"About both of us." Leia rested an elbow on the console and rubbed her forehead. "About waiting for the right signal. We were being very civil with one another, then out of the blue he told me he'd decided to stay with us. I mean, stay on indefinitely if it was okay with me, no more threats of leaving."

Clearly fascinated, Keris gave a small nod of understanding.

"I don't know," Leia wondered aloud. "Maybe it was the atmosphere of the place, or just our moods, or the wine, the dancing.… You were right about that dress, too."

"Wine and dancing." Keris nodded, as if no more explanation was needed. "That Majority gift was from him, wasn't it?"

Leia nodded in confirmation. In her anger following their return from the mission, she'd forced all of these other thoughts and feelings to the back of her mind. Now, however, as she drew them back out for examination, the longing and hurt returned with them. "He was charming, attentive…and I couldn't resist anymore. I didn't want to." A look of surprise crossed Keris's face. Leia realized her friend was jumping to the wrong conclusion and waved a negating hand to stop her. "No, no, we didn't…you know…but I think we came very close. I stopped it before.…"

"And he's mad at you now?"

"No, he wasn't angry about that at all. In fact, he.…" Leia fumbled again, just as befuddled now as she was then. "He was so nice."

Keris was smiling now, but her head tipped to the side. "That surprises you?"

"Well, yes. No. I don't know." She shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose. All this was beginning to give her a headache.

"You're mad at yourself for stopping?" Keris speculated.

Leia shook her head again, but then tempered it with a little shrug of doubt. "I was a little at first, yes, but things were moving so fast. I needed time to think."

Keris gave a single nod, as if now spotting the problem. "You're not supposed to think."

"Yes, that's what he said."

Keris chuckled. "I told you he was a smart man."

"Congratulations."

"I'm still not seeing how we're getting from one extreme to the other here, though."

Elbow still resting on the console, Leia propped a cheek on her gloved fist. "It was later. We were shopping when two men started following us. I don't know the details because Han wouldn't tell me, but they'd somehow heard about the bounty on him and decided to try their luck."

"Ohhh."

"We managed to escape, barely." She was quiet for a long moment. Even now, she wasn't sure how she really felt about what had happened. The range of emotions she'd experienced in that short span of two days still left her feeling muddled. "Despite all that, I thought we'd reached an understanding. I thought maybe things had changed. But suddenly he was very cold, and he refused my help. He just switched off. And now we're back to this again, but only worse."

The look of enjoyment at learning of their developing relationship had slipped away from Keris's face. She looked sad now. "You think he's just playing with you now," she announced in a quiet voice.

Leia gave a slow nod of her head. "For two years he's flirted with and propositioned me, and then when I finally let my guard down, he rejects me. This was exactly why I resisted for so long—I was afraid he'd hurt me, and now he has." She let out a heavy sigh and sank back into her chair. She had hoped that getting this off her chest would make her feel better, but it hadn't—not one iota. Her heart ached in a way she'd never experienced or expected.

Keris remained quiet for a long sympathetic minute as she seemed to absorb everything. "Maybe there's more to it, Leia. Men do dumb things sometimes. Maybe he's feeling guilty that you were endangered."

Leia looked up at her, saying nothing. She'd suspected as much, but it still didn't ease the pain.

"I know—that doesn't help," Keris added. "You're still attracted to him."

Leia felt heat rise in her cheeks and her eyes dropped to gaze unseeing at her comp screen. Vivid memories of his features in flattering shadows returned; quiet moments during their mission on Ord Mantell and earlier that she'd treasured. There had been times when she'd found him so handsome that she'd forgotten to breathe, her mind filled with all sorts of fantasies, some innocent and some astonishingly graphic. Several times, he'd caught her staring in that mesmerized state and she'd been without a single coherent response. She'd always felt a strong physical attraction to him, but until their trip of discovery she'd never realized just how much.

Solo was so unlike any of the men she normally dealt with. He was the first person to make her doubt her ability to read people, to doubt herself. Time and again, her instincts had warned against believing the image he presented to others. The fireworks she'd been waiting for all these years had exploded with breathtaking power that night on the couch in their hotel suite. There was no denying it anymore. But why did she have to fall for such an unconventional and irreverent and unattainable man when there was a galaxy of perfectly nice men out there more than willing to bow to her every wish?

"Yes, he's gorgeous," Leia whispered with an unexpected huskiness. "But that's hardly a foundation for a meaningful relationship."

"No, it isn't," her friend agreed. "That's what you want?"

"I don't know what I want anymore, Keris."

"Just my opinion here, Leia, but I don't think he would've bothered for this long if he didn't think you were worth it. If all he's after is another conquest, he'd have given up already."

"Then I don't understand." Not sure with whom she was feeling more impatient, Solo or herself, Leia scowled. She was tired of the conflicting messages they continued to exchange. "If he's serious, why doesn't he act like it now? I wish he would just once.…"

Leia fell silent, not knowing what she wanted to say next. "This war has cost me nearly everything. I can't love someone who's going to walk out of my life at any moment. I can't." Leia closed her eyes as she realized just how eager and ready she was to do just that, if only he reciprocated. Love. She'd said the word herself. It was a frightening discovery to learn how the ultimate exposure of her inner desires relied solely upon such an unstable factor.

Leia turned to her readout panel, desperate to immerse herself in a protective layer of duty. She didn't want to learn just how deeply those feelings ran within her, how much influence the Corellian had acquired over her passions. She felt mortally afraid of the pain she would have to deal with if he left. Worst of all, she knew deep down that her debate was already moot; hers was no longer a question of "if" but of "when."

Keris reached out a comforting hand and squeezed Leia's forearm, pulling her back into the conversation. "Leia, he can complain all he wants about the Alliance, but he's still here, two years and three bases later." She jostled the princess until she looked up. "Okay, so it's not burned in durasteel, but I'd call that a commitment."

Leia watched her companion, unable to accept that logic so easily. "Then why doesn't he just come out and say that?"

"Maybe you haven't realized this yet, Princess, but you aren't the only one who's at risk of getting hurt." Keris sighed and made an offering gesture with one hand. "I mean, look at the kind of encouragement he's gotten so far."

Leia continued to look doubtful as Keris's observations sank in. The thought that Han Solo could be afraid of her own ultimate rejection had never occurred to her. He'd always seemed so confident and certain of what he wanted, or at least he'd been more successful than her at appearing that way. "Do you really think he feels the same way?" she wondered in a soft voice.

Keris shrugged. "Hard to say, but it makes sense, doesn't it? How many times has he—?"

Keris was interrupted by the unanticipated appearance of General Rieekan, who stepped up between them. He rested his hands on their corresponding shoulders, then leaned down to say, "Remember that our personnel address system is malfunctioning. I would suggest unplugging that headset if you two are going to continue this line of conversation."