Between the Lines
by suezahn
Disclaimer: All characters depicted herein are the property of Lucasfilm, Disney, etc. My only profit is in the form of readers' feedback. Please be generous!
Note: This story was originally written in 1995 and has now be revised and updated for consistency with the rest of the Kismet series. Please note that the OC name Kristin Aldritch = Keris Aldric now. I decided the old name was too "Earthy." A very special thank-you to my lovely proofreaders: Erin Darroch and Marjorie Joyce. The original story was awarded STAR aWARdS Best Long Story 1995.
Chapter 11
Although it was her own downtime, Keris made her way to the Mess and retrieved two hot mugs of kaffe. With the intention of keeping Leia company—whether the stubborn Alderaani wanted it or not—she took a quick detour to her private quarters before heading for the Command Center. Keris entered the cramped headquarters and found Leia right where she'd left her, entrenched at the com tech station. She must have insisted on working the evening shift tonight because Sergeant Simel, Keris's nighttime replacement, was nowhere in sight. The princess was bowed forward, eyes closed, an elbow propped upon the countertop and her temple resting upon a fist. The screen was actively scanning but remained void of any telltale blips signaling the missing men.
Keris shook her head at this latest demonstration of her friend's obstinacy. There was no mystery as to Leia's persistence; Han Solo and Luke Skywalker were lost out on the blizzard-swept glacier outside. The pain showed in her pale, haunted features. The artificial illumination from the glow panels above combined with the steady blue glow of the com tracking screen added to her unhealthy cast. She appeared to have aged years within the past few hours.
Keris seated herself at Leia's usual post and waited for a reaction. The princess opened her eyes but remained silent as she watched Keris place one of the steaming mugs before her.
"Here, thought you could use this."
Leia drew a long breath, then lifted her head and straightened up in her seat. "Thank you." She picked up the mug and took a cautious sip. A moment later, she sharply looked back to her friend. "What did you put in this?"
"Some Argusian whiskey I've hoarded. Thought you could use a little of that, too."
Any other time, Leia might have been upset over the breach of regulations. Now, she seemed to accept the gesture with an appreciative nod before taking another sip.
Keris glanced at the empty screen in front of her friend. "Any word yet?"
"No." Leia was making a commendable effort to remain impassive but Keris didn't have to look too hard to see her fear and exhaustion.
"You're tired, Leia. I'll get Simel back in here so you can get some rest."
Although she clutched her mug a little tighter, Leia shook her head in refusal. "No, I'm fine." She met Keris's eyes for a long soul-revealing moment, but then shrugged to break the contact. "Besides, I don't think I could sleep right now if I tried."
Experiencing a flash of insight, Keris tipped her head in empathy at her young friend. "This isn't your fault, Leia."
"That's easy for you to say," Leia snapped. She fell silent as she sank back in her seat and stared into the spiked liquid within her mug. "I'm sorry, you didn't deserve that."
"Don't worry about it. Everyone here knows that you're very close friends."
"It isn't fair," Leia whispered.
Keris looked up from her own mug and watched the thoughts that were battling for position on the princess' face. "To them or to you?"
"I don't know anymore," she admitted. "To die like this would be so…senseless. And for me…I've lost everything else in my life that ever meant anything to me. Those two came along at a time when…when there was nothing left for me to believe in. They were both there when I needed them…when I needed a reason to keep living and fighting." She closed her eyes and fell silent for a long, thoughtful moment. "They rescued me again."
"Let me tell you something, Leia." Keris reached over to grasp the princess' hand in her own. Leia's dark eyes opened to meet hers. "About the last thing I said to my husband, the day he was killed…."
Leia's breath escaped in a harsh sigh as she seemed to be empathically swept up in the unanticipated wave of anguish that radiated from Keris in that moment. The passage of nearly four standard years may have allowed Keris to accept the death of her life mate, but the grief and longing never really went away. For the first time since they'd known one another, she allowed Leia to see just how deeply that pain ran.
Keris allowed the slightest trace of a wistful smile to return to her features. "I told him that I loved him.… Sometimes, I think that's the only reason I've been able to carry on." Keris paused to measure her words. "Tomorrow, when the patrols bring Solo and Skywalker back safely, maybe you should tell them what you just told me."
Leia took a moment to absorb this. "Tell them…."
"Why not?"
Leia opened her mouth, but then closed it as her dark eyebrows drew together in frustration.
Keris shrugged. "It's not like it's much of a secret anymore."
Leia groaned. "You make it sound so easy."
And Keris realized that this conversation had suddenly narrowed down to just one. "So confirm his suspicions. Who knows? Telling him the truth might solve half of your problems. He might even surprise you."
The princess peered into her warm drink as if her future could be seen within the swirling darkness.
"Ten more minutes, Princess, and then I'm calling Simel back in here. Got that?"
A little surprised by the order, Leia seemed to lose her train of thought. "Are you pulling rank on me?"
The lieutenant's grin turned to pure mischief. "I can try. I'm willing to bet the rest of that bottle of whiskey that Rieekan would back me up."
Leia managed to keep a straight face for a few moments, then couldn't help the little smile that broke out. "You certainly can…but it won't be necessary."
"Good." Keris settled more comfortably into her chair and took a long sip from her mug. "You're learning fast."