Sky from a ship. Field from the hills:
Your memory is made of light, of smoke, of a still pond!
Beyond your eyes, farther on, the evenings were blazing.
Dry autumn leaves revolved in your soul.
Excerpt from "I Remember You As You Were" by Pablo Neruda
V: Sky From a Ship
"You're flying again?"
Gunny's voice was slightly tinny through the tightband connection, but Joker didn't mind. Just hearing a voice from home was a soothing balm. He had her vid call projecting on the bridge; it was either that or use one of the common terminals in the crew quarters. He and his sister hadn't spoken for about six months. She was fast approaching her sixteenth birthday, and looking like their mother more and more every time he saw her.
"Even better ship this time around," he quipped, leaning back in his chair and tucking his hands behind his head. "Although don't ask me what we're doing or where we're going; it's classified."
Gunny pouted a bit at that, and Joker came to the immediate conclusion that it was a shared gesture amongst females. It looks better on Shepard.
"I'm just glad to see you happy. Dad's been nervous ever since we came to visit you the last time. You really should try to answer his messages more. He cares, you know. So do I."
Joker sighed and ran a hand along his beard. They had visited him on the Citadel shortly before Cerberus had contracted him out. At that point in time, he had been tunneling lower than rock bottom, sobering up long enough to spend a few days in a semblance of normalcy. His father wasn't as easy to convince as Gunny was; Louis had found his booze stash while Joker and Gunny had been at a movie. There had been a long, serious talk after she went to bed that night, one that still made Joker grimace in shame. "I'm sorry. I really am. I've just been so busy."
She waved her hand in a dismissive gesture. "Just try a little harder, and we'll forgive you. Oh, hi!"
She was waving at someone past his shoulder, and Joker turned in time to see Shepard ducking out of the camera's range. Clad in what he now knew was her "ready for bed or filing a ridiculous amount of reports" outfit (sweatshirt, leggings, glasses, and her hair in a knot on top of her head), she blushed at her intrusion. "I'm sorry Joker, I heard you talking to someone, but I didn't think you were on a call. I can come back later."
"No it's ok, it's just Gunny. Say hi."
Ignoring her protests, he pulled her over next to his chair and sat her on the arm.
"Gunny, this is Clemen-"
"Clementine Shepard! Holy crap Jeff you're flying with her again?" Gunny's face split into a wide grin and she leaned closer to her camera. "Oh wow. Where are my manners. I'm sorry, Commander. Hilary Moreau, Jeff's perfect little sister."
Shepard smiled down at Joker and then at Gunny on the vid screen. She kicked her slippers off, pulling her feet up and sliding them under his thigh for balance. He stiffened a bit at the unexpected contact. Oh? Oh. Ok? Gunny is gonna love this.
"Please, call me Clementine. Joker's mentioned you, of course. He said you're interested in attending flight school?"
"Yeah! It seems as if flying runs in the family. I don't think I'd cut it as a foot soldier…not enough stamina. But I spent last summer putting in hours towards a civilian flight license for private charters. I'm about 360 away from passing."
Joker felt a swelling of pride at his sister's dedication.
"I can't fly worth a damn, but that's what I have Joker for." Shepard gave her a lopsided grin.
"That's an understatement," he muttered under his breath. It won him a jab in the ribs.
"This may be an inappropriate question, Com-…Clementine. But I uh…I thought you were dead?"
Joker wanted to reach through he vid screen and smack her on the back of the head, but Shepard merely laughed. "It's classified, but let's just say I was doing deep cover work for two years."
Her lie came easily, and he was grateful she had skipped over the true story. Explaining to Gunny that he was working for a pro-human terrorist organization would be a little difficult. Explaining that his commander had indeed died and was brought back to life by the aforementioned terrorist organization would be even trickier. Gunny's eyes grew wide for a moment. "Wow. That's so cool. And it's cool you guys are working together again!" Her eyes flitted back and forth between him and Shepard, and a sly smile spread across her face. Joker narrowed his eyes and shook his head.
"Vous et lui?" Gunny asked saucily.
Joker groaned and ran a hand across his face. "Elle parle français, sœur. Vous faites un âne de vous-même." And here we go.
Gunny clapped a hand over her mouth, cheeks reddening. "Insert foot into mouth. Sorry."
Shepard snorted. "C'est ok. I just found out French was his native tongue. You almost had me there."
Joker rubbed a thumb along the small of her back, silently thanking her for being so tactful. She smiled down at him.
"Did you get dad's message about him and Marin?"
"About the wedding?" he answered. "Yeah. Look, Gunny, I don't think I can make it. I don't know what our schedule is like and-"
"Who's wedding?" Shepard interjected, her brows knitted together.
Joker sighed. "My dad is getting remarried in a few weeks. He and Marin have been together for about seven years now. They're going to have a wedding on Tiptree. It's not a big deal if I don't make it. He'll understand."
He'll understand when we stop the Collectors. He hadn't said it out loud, but the look on Shepard's face told him she heard the real meaning. A flicker of worry passed across her eyes, but it was gone before he had a chance to dwell on it. Instead, her jaw set in a way he was all too familiar with, and he shook his head. "No."
"Yes, Joker. You're going. I'll make sure of it." She turned to Gunny. "Send me the information, and I'll make sure to get him there in time. This is my comm number." She held her omnitool up to the screen so his sister could write down the code.
"It's good to see someone who is immune to his particular brand of charm," Gunny said. "I look forward to seeing you in person, Jeff. I'll let Dad know to expect you as well. Thanks, Clementine. I'm sure my dad and Marin will appreciate it, too. Hey!" Her face lit up. "Jeff, why don't you bring Clementine as your plus one? Then you won't look like such a loser, especially with Commander Shepard as your date."
"Gunny, shut up. Shepard has more important things to do than go to a wedding."
"What's the dress code?" Shepard asked, bringing up the invite on her omnitool. Gunny had obviously already sent it to her. Women.
"Black tie. They're getting married at a house designed by one of my dad's coworker's, and half of his firm will be there. And Marin is from Bekenstein, so her family will be there too. That means you'll have to get a tux, Jeff."
Joker suddenly wanted to bang his head against something very, very hard, and was regretting involving Shepard in the conversation.
"I don't need a monkey suit. I'll wear my dress blues."
"You will not," Shepard interjected, staring at him as if he had suggested she dance naked on the Presidium. "Kasumi can help us the next time we're somewhere civilized."
Joker groaned and let his head fall back against the headrest. While the prospect of attending a wedding in a tux sounded about as fun as babysitting a varren, the prospect of attending said wedding with Shepard was something he could possibly find himself looking forward to.
"So it's settled then." Gunny clapped her hands together and grinned. "I'll let Dad know you're coming with a plus one. But I think I'm going to leave who it is as a surprise." Gunny's eyes twinkled. "Clementine, just send me an RSVP with your dinner choices when you get a chance. I should probably go, it's late here and I have an exam tomorrow."
"I will. Thanks for letting me know. And it was nice to 'meet' you." Shepard punctuated her sentence with air quotes.
"It's always good to find someone who has a mutual affection for torturing Jeff," his sister replied. She settled her gaze on Joker. "I'm glad you called, though. I miss you. Don't give me that look."
He had been scowling at the vid screen, and Shepard smacked him lightly on the shoulder.
"Je t'aime, Jeff. I'll see you in a few weeks. You too, Clementine."
"Je t'aime aussi," he replied quietly, and disconnected the call.
The silence settled on them, and he suddenly realized her proximity. She had been avoiding him for days, and suddenly she was in his space. Really in his space. He cleared his throat nervously.
"She's a lot like you," Shepard said quietly, staring at the flight console.
"She's more like my mom, really. A lot more caring than I am."
"Don't discount yourself so much, Jeff. You're more caring that you give yourself credit for."
Her position on the arm of his chair made it difficult for him to lean away from her, so he instead tilted his head up to look her in the eye. A frown was playing on the edges of her mouth, her eyes sad. He wanted to reach up and run his thumb along her lips, but resisted.
The silence stretched between them, and he held her gaze with his, unwavering. The space between them wound tight like a rubber band, tensing with each passing moment. Tentatively, he saw her reach a hand out, and felt it light against his neck, above the collar of his uniform. The tension snapped, and he felt the pull of her fear and need as it absorbed into his psyche. He covered his hand with hers, not breaking eye contact, and let her feel his emotions. It was effortless, like sinking into a hot bath or sliding into cool sheets. There were no thoughts, just the raw interplay of feelings. Her eyelids fluttered as her body eddied with blue currents of energy. She was controlling the flow now, touching just the surface of their minds. Her lips parted and she exhaled softly, letting her chin fall against her chest.
"I am a terrible liar," she whispered, eyes closed. "I can try to deny it, but this…this feels like home."
His breath caught, and he released the hand on her neck to cradle her head in his hands. As soon as his hands connected with skin, there was a tug on the back of his mind, threatening to undo him. He touched the calm meditative state he slipped into when he flew, and pulled at it, using it as a buffer. This moment was precious, and fragile, and he wanted it to last. His throat was choked with an overload of emotion, and he struggled to find the words.
"I don't deserve you, Clementine."
She opened her mouth to retort, and he shook his head once.
"I don't deserve you. And I can't force you to put aside your morals. I may be an asshole, but I'm not that selfish." There was a small hint of bubbly amusement passing between them, and he smiled. "A lot of things have happened to you in the past. Take your time. I'll be here."
With that, he leaned back, severing the connection, dropping his hands back in his lap. She leaned back, tucking her own hands into the pocket of her sweatshirt, and gave him the smallest of smiles.
"Thank you, Jeff." She shuffled her feet out from under his thigh and swung off the chair. "Now, I need to go and mentally prepare myself for Kasumi's party. As soon as we hit Bekenstein, geosynch to those coordinates I gave you. We'll be taking the shuttle down to a transportation station and renting a sky car." She paused, as if wanting to say more, but bit her lip and turned to walk down the gangway.
"Aye aye, Commander."
With one last fleeting glance over her shoulder, she disappeared into the dim CIC.
Kasumi hovered above her as she sat at the edge of her bed, eyes closed. The thin silk robe did little to warm her against the cold recycled air of her cabin, and she rubbed her hands over her arms, fighting back the gooseflesh.
"Hold still, Shep," Kasumi chided. "I'm almost done, and then you can get dressed."
The thief had been working on her appearance for Hock's party for over two hours, weaving her mess of curls into a soft updo, outlining her eyes with dark kohl. The black dress was laid ceremoniously on the bed next to her, and Shepard glanced at it apprehensively. It looked a full size too small, and short. Shorter than anything she had in her own personal wardrobe.
"Ok. Finished!" Kasumi stepped back and placed a finger on her partially hidden cheek, contemplating. "I have to say, you clean up nicely. Much better than those snooty photos I've seen of you at Alliance social gatherings. Whoever agreed that polyester was a staple fabric needs to be shot. Now. Get dressed. Hurry hurry. I'll meet you at the bridge."
Shepard reeled her head back in confusion. "The bridge? Why the bridge? We're taking the shuttle down."
Kasumi gave her a wicked smile. "You don't want Joker to miss you all dressed up, do you?" Shepard flushed. "That's what I thought," the little thief continued, and skipped up the stairs to the door. "By the way, that dress is much too tight for undergarments. See ya in a bit!" With that, she disappeared out the door, leaving Shepard gaping.
She eyed the garment in question, pulling it off the hanger and shimmying out of her robe. As she slid the fabric up over her hips, she had to agree with Kasumi; it was skin tight, clinging to every swell on her body. The sleeves ended at her wrists, and the hem stopped at mid-thigh. The neckline was high, coming to rest just below her collarbones, but the back made up for it. It was open down to just above the top of her tailbone. Even with her front completely covered, she felt exposed.
"Damnit, Kasumi. How am I supposed to fit a gun under this?"
The dress would be a one-time garment, but she could see herself keeping the shoes. Four inch black heels that made her feel incredibly tall, with oversized velvet bows at each ankle. She stood carefully, finding her balance. It had been years since she the last time she had to totter around on the balls of her feet, and she knew they would be screaming by the end of the night.
Walking to the head, she studied her face in the mirror. What do you see when you look at me, Joker? The pilot had been surprisingly serious after their conversation with Gunny.
I don't deserve you...
She had been taken aback by that. Cool, confident, snarky Joker nervously proclaiming his feelings for her and pushing her away in the same breath. What's that saying? A riddle wrapped in an enigma inside of a mystery? There was clearly some deeper thought process to his dismissal of his justification. She normally had to wade through his biting snark to find the true meaning behind anything he said. Bare feelings from him were an anomaly, and she didn't quite know how to handle it.
I'm not going to push him, she decided grimly. A large part of her brain had decided it was best to let things happen organically. She doubted he would outright tell her he wanted her, other than the brief admission of him simply being there for her, if she wanted. It was enough, for now. No need to overload yourself with emotion, Joker. She snorted, rolling her eyes at the reflection in the mirror. Kasumi had done a decent job with her hair and makeup.
A little shameless flirting won't hurt, she told herself, feeling slightly better about her outfit.
Cautiously, she made her way up the stairs to the elevator, biting the inside of her lip as she acclimated to the confinement of the dress. How she was supposed to fight in this, she didn't know, but she decided to push that worry aside and concentrate on my pressing issues, such as calming her nerves as the elevator made it's way up to the CIC.
A few of her crew gawked as she strode past them, including Kelly Chambers. The red-haired woman's jaw dropped to the floor, eyes wide.
"Commander, you look…wow."
Shepard quirked a smile and hurried her pace towards the gangway.
Kasumi was nowhere in sight when she reached the bridge, which didn't mean to say she wasn't present. The back of Joker's chair faced her, and she leaned against a bulkhead, watching his hands move across the haptic interface. He was nosing the Normandy into geosynch, Bekenstein a shimmering globe of lights kilometers below them. She loved watching him at work; he could go from witty to utterly focused in a split second. He was aware of her presence, but was running an orbital calculation in his head. Of course, EDI could do it for him, but she knew he preferred to do it himself and have the AI check his work.
"Geosycned with the coordinates, Commander. Shuttle should be ready for…" He spun his chair to face her and stopped mid sentence, clutching the armrests. "You look…wow. Wow."
"I look like a tart, Joker," she said, pushing off the bulkhead and walking towards him. "You don't have to lie."
She knew Kasumi had chosen the dress mainly to make her unrecognizable; the Commander Shepard before death wouldn't have even given the garment a second look on the hangar. But always tactful, the dress with its long sleeves hid the worse of her reconstructions scars. She wore them everywhere on her body, but the worst covered her arms and torso. A few crisscrossed her back, but Kasumi had assured her it only added to the mystique that was Allison Gunn. The thief had altered the lines of her face with makeup as well. Her cheekbones were more prominent, her brows darkened and thickened. Her eyes were rimmed with kohl and dusted with the darkest of grey shadows.
"Are you wearing colored contacts?" Joker asked, leaning forward as she approached his chair.
"Ever observant you are, helmsman. I can hide beneath a painted face, but heterochromia iridum is pretty uncommon. I get to be a plain ol' brown-eyed member of high society tonight."
Joker gave her a rueful smile as his own eyes roved greedily over her body. She had never been one to flaunt herself, and a part of her supposed she should feel violated. But his intent gaze was sending a delicious chill down her spine, which had nothing to do with the cut of her dress.
"Hmmm. I prefer them the way they are. You're not going to make this a permanent thing, are you?"
"Definitely not. My cybernetics are not a fan of the contacts, and neither am I."
She could tell he wanted to reach out and touch her, so she obliged, walking forward until her shins hit the footrest of his chair. Even seated, he cut a dashing figure in uniform, even if it was Cerberus. Years of his reliance on crutches sculpted his shoulders and arms into impressively broad muscle. In the two years she was gone, he had filled out even more, his back straighter and proud. He held himself with more pride than before, and his gait had become almost unhindered. Shepard knew him and Jacob had been working out together down in the Normandy's makeshift gym, and it showed.
He looked up at her from his chair, a soft flush spreading across his cheeks. Chastened as he had been several hours before, now he held her gaze with a burning intensity. Tentatively, she ran a hand down his arm, stopping where the sleeves of his uniform were cuffed. Boldened by her proximity, Joker curled his fingers around the curve of her hip, sliding down the line of her leg until his pinky finger reached the hem.
"This dress is something else," he said, voice husky. "Turn around."
She obliged, spinning lightly on the balls of her feet. Even facing away from him, she heard his sharp intake of breath at the now-exposed expanse of skin. His hands settled lightly back on her hips, tracing the edges of fabric clinging to her back. Her spine tingled as his hands spun her back around, never straying from the hem, and she itched for him to touch her flesh.
"I have a feeling you're not carrying a gun on you?" he quipped.
"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not." She gave him a coy shrug. He continued his exploration, his thumbs skimming across the tops of her thighs, moving slowly upwards towards their apex. She had seen him fly more times than she could count, and had always marveled at the dexterity of his hands. Now, with said hands on her, a number of delicious scenarios began playing out in her mind. The now familiar feeling of need began to build in her belly, a wave of desire crashing over her as his hands once more found her hips.
"Holy shit," he breathed, leaning his head back against the chair and squeezing his eyes closed. A darker flush had spread across his cheeks and neck, creeping below the collar of his uniform. "You're not wearing any underwear, are you?"
She had been momentarily distracted by his explorations, and at his words suddenly became very aware of her wonton state. The proof of her own arousal was slick at the apex of her thighs, and she squeezed her legs together. She peered down at him through her lashes and nodded.
"Fuck. It's a good thing I'll have nothing to do for the next few hours except sit here. Thinking about you in this dress. With no underwear. And maybe a hidden gun somewhere."
"No guns, Shep," came Kasumi's voice from behind them. The thief shimmered into view and Joker promptly dropped his hands back in his lap, flushing an even brighter shade of red. "Hock is all about security."
Shepard turned to face Kasumi, fighting to assemble her face back into the calm, collected Commander mask.
"We're going to break into Hock's vault unarmed?"
"Of course not! We're sneaking in your armor and weapons to be used at a later time. I have it all planned out." Kasumi leveled her gaze on Joker, a rueful smile spreading across the unhooded portion of her face. "I take it you approve of our commander's evening wear?"
The pilot raised an eyebrow at her in response. "Is that some sort of trick question?"
Kasumi giggled and waved a hand at him dismissively. "If you think this is good, wait until you see what I have in mind for your father's wedding."
Joker looked as if he may internally combust, and Shepard laid a hand on the side of his neck in a quick goodbye, sending a flicker of her arousal to him. A hint of insecurity clutched at her chest, and she tamped it down. He would be back to his normal snarky self when they returned - unless he managed to hack into Hock's surveillance system. Part of her knew he had a hidden stash of vid stills somewhere in his private files, and a bigger part of her knew he would be adding quite a few more to the collection tonight.
"Alright, enough ogling the Commander. Duty calls, Shep!"
Kasumi linked her arm through Shepard's, pulling her down the gangway to the CIC. Shepard felt Joker's eyes on her until the elevator doors snicked shut behind them.
Joker groaned and shifted in his chair, trying but failing at finding a more comfortable position. The sight of Shepard in that dress had him instantly hard, and his arousal pressed against his pants uncomfortably.
"Your heart rate and stress levels have increased, Mr. Moreau. Are you in distress?" EDI flashed to his left, blue holo orb illuminating the bridge.
"Yeah, something like that," he answered, shuffling in his seat. He needed a distraction. "EDI, see if you have any luck hacking into this Hock guy's surveillance. We should uh, keep an eye on the Commander. Make sure she doesn't run into any trouble."
Shepard sans armor left him essentially blind, hundreds of kilometers above the planet. He wouldn't be able to monitor their progress or her biosigns unless he found a way past Donovan Hock's firewalls. Muttering under his breath, he brought up several vid screens as EDI began running a hacking program.
"I am fairly impressed with the quality of these encryptions. They are almost a challenge." The AI sounded smug as several vids flickered on, showing various corners of an impressive mansion. Joker disliked piggybacking on surveillance; more often than not the cameras were immobile, and he would have to triangulate several different angles to get a decent idea of what was happening planetside. But beggars couldn't be choosers, and he settled back in his chair, flipping through several different cameras.
Joker had known Clementine Shepard for almost four years, and had followed her career even before serving with her on the SR-1. Never in a million years did he expect to see her attend a party in anything less than Alliance dress blues. Seeing her in that tiny black dress was better than any scenario his mind could cook up. Shepard was, out of armor, a commanding presence, a staunch professional and incredibly gifted at building a team. In armor, she was a force to be reckoned with; deadly biotic precision honed to absolute perfection. Shepard in that black dress was something else entirely. She looked dark and dangerous, fabric hugging every single curve. In the bridge light, Joker could make out every single swell on her body. He ached to trace a thumb along the underside of her breasts, to run his hands down her legs. Her makeup altered her appearance enough that she appeared sultry and dangerous. He wished there had been no need for the colored contacts. Her eyes had a hypnotic quality to them that was lost under the brown-pigmented lenses.
Their relationship rested on a thin fulcrum; he had done something he had never fathomed doing, and laid his feelings out on the table for her. Briefly, he recalled his middle school girlfriend; they had held hands in the hallways of the little school on Arcturus, before her family relocated to a different base. That had been the closest semblance of a relationship he had been in, which made him blush. Everything else had been flings for purely physical purposes. Shepard's file indicated no serious relationships during her enlistment, and Joker hadn't been surprised. Spec ops training was brutal on a slow day, and Shepard had progressed up to the N7 designation. She was an elite member of the Alliance military, rising from enlisted to officer in an absurdly short amount of time. Even aboard the SR-1, with ensigns and Alenko practically throwing themselves at her feet, she faced it with an aloofness that rivaled naivety, but Joker knew better. She was observant enough to realize the innuendos and invitations flung at her over the duration of their mission. Scuttlebutt had it that Alenko even approached Shepard during their trek to Ilos, and she shot him down. The sentinel had survived Vermire, and continued to gravel at the commander's feet up until her death. Joker tapped his fingers against the armrests of his chair. He hadn't heard from Kaiden since their dressing down by the Alliance brass. The same dressing down that had grounded Joker. He scowled at the unpleasant memory.
Kasumi and Shepard hadn't made it to Hock's estate yet, so Joker busied himself with orbital calculations, double-checking their position on Bekenstien's gravity well. Math soothed him. Formulas, algorithms, numbers; they were all part of the bigger picture that was flying. Flight school taught new recruits to reexamine their bodily orientations; flying in zero g meant there was no up or down, but rather an infinite grid of space on an x, y and z-axis. Coordinates took them from point a to point b, but combat maneuvers were done on the fly, and often required quick calculations of weapons trajectories or the amount a inertial strain that could be placed on a ship's hull. In his early days, Joker's instructors had tried to outfit him with an inertial dampening suit to better protect his brittle bones from impacts during simulated combat. The experiment backfired spectacularly, and Joker came to realize his talent for flying was due in large part to his ability to feel the ship.
A good pilot flew ahead of himself; thinking two or three moves ahead of his opponent. His reflexes were honed to an almost perfect point. He could turn a 384 meter frigate into a silent weapon capable of speed and aeronautical maneuvers many other pilots couldn't even dream of. Part of him itched for a dogfight of some sort. He hadn't been able to put the SR-2 through her paces yet, and with the recent ablative armor upgrades, she was feeling slightly off-balance. Joker made a mental note to tell Shepard when she returned to schedule a few combat drills. The promised addition of a beam-length Thanix cannon would mean even more balance issues, and he would rather work out the kinks outside of actual combat.
A familiar figure strutted into view on one of the vid feeds. Shepard had made it to Hock's estate. Kasumi was nowhere to be seen, but that didn't mean she wasn't present. A gleaming gold statue of Saren Arterius was being wheeled next to the commander.
"What the shit is that?"
"I believe the ploy is based on a rough redition of "The Trojan Horse". Ms. Goto has Commander Shepard's armor and weapons stashed in a hollow compartment of the statue. It was been lined with lead to appear solid in the even Mr. Hock' security scans it."
Joker scrolled through a few more video feeds until he found one that gave him a fantastic view of the commander's back. A majority of the women he had been involved with looked something akin to a Fornax centerfold, all big breasts and tight outfits that accentuated them. Shepard's dress was the most erotic outfit he had ever seen a woman wear; the dip of the back stopped just above where the curve of her backside began, showing off the finely sculpted muscles of her shoulders. A fine lattice of minute white scars crossed the freckled skin, and he wanted to trace each one; first with his fingers, and then with his tongue. The fabric clung to every soft curve, but she carried herself with dignity and a sort of aloof innocence at the appeal of her own body. The dress on any other woman would have been crass. On her, it was a work of art. The heels only added to the picture, lengthening her petite, muscular legs.
A hot pooling of heat in his groin told him his reveries were once again threatening discomfort, and he leaned back in the chair, thinking unpleasant thoughts. Garrus in a dress. Mordin giving me a lap dance. Zaeed naked in the showers. He took a deep, steadying breath and let it out through his mouth slowly.
"You are again showing signs of distress, Mr. Moreau. Perhaps it would be of interest to you that the Commander is wearing her earpiece. Her private channel is number five."
Joker perked at that bit of info, and waited until Shepard was past security before he opened her comm. "I hope you don't mind, Commander, but I popped some popcorn and am enjoying the show."
Several cameras had her in their frames, and each one showed her sly smile.
"Don't you have better things to do, helmsman?" was her response.
"Unless you count the occasional adjustment to our orbit, nope. I plan on watching the whole movie."
She had made her way into the crush of people now, and didn't respond. He had Kasumi's comm channel up as well, and the thief was talking Shepard through their plan, which included finding the door to Hock's vault. Joker panned through several more cam feeds to stay caught up with her as she moved about the enormous house.
"You're breaking necks, Shepard," he said lightly, watching as two men and a turian that had been talking abruptly stopped their conversation to stare at the passing commander. That's right, assholes. Take a good look, because that's all you'll ever get from her.
"Jealous, helmsman?"
"Mmmm, they have nothing on me. That one guy looked as if he was cross-eyed, and that turian may or may not have scale itch."
"I don't know…I've never seen you in formalwear. How do I know you compare?"
"Ouch, Commander. My pride!"
In truth, he was growing more acclimated to the idea of the inevitable wedding and his subsequent formal outfit. He wouldn't mind the opportunity to get out of the stupid Cerberus uniform and wear something a little more civilized without the hindrance of leg braces and crutches. He had skipped all school dances due to the fact that he, well, couldn't dance. And titanium alloy just didn't seem to go with formalwear.
"Kasumi, the password for tonight is 'Peruggia'," Shepard said over the comm.
"Hmm…interesting," replied the thief. Joker still hadn't seen the small woman on any of the security cams he had hacked. "Peruggia was the man who stole the Mona Lisa. Good job, Shep. Now we just need a snippet of Hock speaking. The rest I can do with a voice modulator. This is all you!"
"Oh joy. I get to go be friendly with a murderous aristocratic mercenary. Somehow I don't think they covered this in N training…"
Joker snorted into his mug of coffee and watched as Shepard rolled her shoulders and approached the host. Donovan Hock spoke with an accent Joker couldn't quite put his finger on, and carried himself with more than a touch of arrogance. The commander became subtly more seductive, a sway in her hips Joker had never seen before. He quashed the pang of arousal and concentrated on the vid feed.
"Miss Gunn, good to see you," Hock purred, shaking Shepard's hand. For a brief moment Joker worried about her biotics, but she seemed to have them firmly under control, and the handshake went off without any lightshow. He let out a quick sigh of relief.
"Mr. Hock, a pleasure to see you as well," Shepard replied, voice dripping with seduction. Joker had never heard her speak like that before, and he leaned in closer to the vid screen.
"I hope that situation with your friend at the door didn't start us off on the wrong foot." Hock slid an arm around her waist, and Joker scowled. Mine! He paused, and snorted at himself. Shut up, Jeff. She's not yours. Yet.
"Mmm of course not. I understand. Who would be stupid enough to attempt a heist from Donovan Hock's estate?"
The man seemed genuinely flattered by her statement, and he leaned in closer.
"I've heard much about you, Miss Gunn. You reputation precedes you. Excellent at what you do, cunning, shrewd. A stunning woman such as yourself surely has captured the heart of many a man."
Shepard giggled, a sound Joker had quickly learned to love. It sounded wrong when done in the presence of Hock.
"You're a flatterer, Mr. Hock. Please, call me Allison. I've found in my line of work, there have been plenty of interesting men, but none with enough…substance to truly turn my head." She peeked up at his through her lashes, and Joker was suddenly glad for the colored contacts. Those eyes are dangerous.
Even on the grainy security cam footage, Joker could see Hock's pupils dilate. She was resting her weight on one leg, hip cocked, which was doing amazing things to her figure. The man ran a hand down her spine and let it rest where skin ended and fabric began.
"How stimulating. I would like to monopolize the rest of your time here, but I do have other guests to attend to. However, I would love if you were to find me later."
"I believe I can do that for you, Mr. Hock. Until later."
She moved off to find solace behind a gallery wall of what appeared to be priceless paintings.
"Damn, Shep," came Kasumi's voice. "I told you to get him to talk, and talk he did. Meet me in Hock's private quarters. We need to fish for some DNA samples."
Joker heard Shepard's sigh and smiled.
"Who knew you were such a fox, Commander?"
She snorted, turning to face the nearest security cam.
"Don't kid yourself, Joker. I feel dirty now." She shuddered as if to punctuate her distain. "And now I have to go combing all around the man's room looking for his DNA? Foul."
"I'll give you a tip: look for the socks under the bed."
"Joker!"
He chortled, and leaned back in his chair, eyes never leaving the vid screens.
Shepard hadn't considered the fact of being naked under her armor undersuit. Its prospect of chafing didn't really appeal to her, so she had shimmied it on over the dress, grimacing as the fabric bunched around her waist. Now, hours and several gunfights later, she stumbled out of the shuttle into the Normandy's cargo bay, dirty, sweaty and exhausted. Kasumi followed after her, lost in Keiji's greybox. Her armor was dented and cracked in several places thanks to Hock's gunship, so she began to shed it next to the row of lockers. She needs a new set, badly. Sighing, she pulled off the chest piece to reveal her undersuit. It too was in need of repair, and she curseed under her breath as she unzipped the sides, pulling down the bunched fabric of the damned dress so it covers her rear. Her earpiece crackled, and a low wolf whistle reverberated through her. She rolled her eyes, turning to face the nearest security cam, and stuck her tongue out.
"Cute," Joker quiped in her ear, and she kicked off the legs of her suit, making sure to keep her thighs together.
"You're such a stalker!"
Her hair managed to make it through the gunfight still ensconced in its intricate updo. She had a small cut across her cheek that needed medigel ASAP, and an impressive bruise was forming on her right hip where a concussion shot caught her. She wanted a shower, a painkiller, and her bed.
"Yeah, don't act like you don't enjoy the attention. Hey, can you stop by the bridge on your way up to the loft? I want to run something by you."
She shoved her busted armor into her locker, hanging the undersuit over her arm. The shoes made it back unscathed, which she counted as a small victory, considering they rode in her kit through a battle with a maniac in a gunship.
"Sure, Joker. I'll be right up."
The elevator spited her by being extra slow, and she was fatigued and fidgety by the time she made her way to the bridge. Joker spun his chair around to face her, eyes raking over her figure greedily.
"So while you were down rubbing elbows with Bekenstein's finest, I was up here, slaving away." He paused, tipping the bill of his hat up so he could mockingly wipe at his brow. "Do you think we could take a few hours out of the day tomorrow to run through some combat sims? We've got a green team, but we've also got new ablative armor, and a new 150-meter cannon. Maybe we could find a few asteroids to let Garrus shoot at or something."
She studied his face, enjoying the intensity in his eyes as prospect of flying filled him with excitement.
"That's actually a really good idea, Joker," she responded, giving him a wide smile. Her cheek protested at the gesture and she ignored it. "I don't know how many of these crew have actually been in combat. Let's see if we can run a full gambit: dogfight, active fire with the Thanix, javelin and GUARDIAN lasers, zero-g situations...yeah. All of it. Find us a good asteroid belt on the way to Illium. I'll let the crew know tomorrow morning."
He rubbed his hands together in glee, a predatory smile spreading across his face. His carnal intent set her blood aflame. Heat pooled between her thighs at the prospect of seeing him in action. Cold shower, Clementine. On the double!
"If that's all, I'll be going now. I have a report to file."
"Thanks, Commander. See you in the morning."
Her libido was begging her to march over and kiss him, but her body was begging her for bed. The latter won, and she gave him a small smile before making her way through the CIC to the elevator.
The entire crew had assembled in the CIC the next morning, including the skeleton staff. A hushed buzz of excitement filled the room, and Shepard smiled at the individuals assembled before her.
"Alright. I've assembled you here because it has come to my attention that many of you have not been drilled properly on what to do in a ship-to-ship combat situation. Today we're going to be running through a full gamut of simulations, including a boarding scenario and combat with live fire. Tali has graciously provided us with fighter-sized combat drones, which will simulate enemy attacks. Joker has found us a sizable asteroid belt, so due to the maneuvers we'll be performing, I need you all in mag boots and full gear. Non-essential staff should stay up here to provide assistance and observe. The rest of you, suit up and report to your stations."
Shepard had run her armor through the fabber several hours earlier, hammering out most of the trouble spots and giving it a fresh coat of paint. The ceramic glinted bright under the lights as she made her way up to the bridge.
Joker had brought them to the asteroid belt on the outskirts of the Thal System. The proximity to the nearest planet was such that they wouldn't be breaking any intergalactic laws, and they were an FTL jump to the nearest planet for discharge. The bridge shone brightly in the light from the haptic interfaces; Joker was in full combat mode, running last minute diagnostics and taking notes on the readouts. She stood next to his chair, eyes on the wide expanse of space rock in front of them.
"Ready, helmsman?"
He turned to her with a smile that would have made a lesser woman combust. It's not fair to be that talented and that good-looking.
"I was born ready, Commander."
She gave him a wide grin, and tabbed the ship-wide comm open. "Ok, crew. Our first exercise will be combat maneuvers in zero g. There will be no warning when we cut the art grav, so be prepared."
"That's what the 'oh shit!' handles are for," Joker added for her benefit. Miller, sitting in the co-pilot's chair, snorted.
She chuckled, and grabbed the nearest safety bar, the one that ran along the back of Joker's chair. "Take us in, helmsman."
Joker nosed the Normandy down into the thick of the asteroids. The Kuiper Belt on the edge of the Sol System was sparse as far as asteroid belts went, with an individual chunk of rock every couple hundred kilometers or so. Thal's asteroid belt was much more dense; Joker was maneuvering between objects with meters to spare instead of kilometers. Shepard watched as a particularly large asteroid approach on their starboard side; Joker banked ever so slightly, and the wing passed it.
"Tali," Shepard said into her comm. "Release the hounds."
A handful of red dots appeared on their ladar, and Joker chuckled. The quarian, Shepard knew, had always been something of a technological genius, capable of hacking through anything, and putting together a drive core with a rubber band and paperclips. She had outdone herself this time, altering several combat drones, making them the size of and F-61 Trident fighter. They were essentially harmless; any shot they fired would bounce off the Normandy's kinetic shields, but they gave Joker something to avoid.
"Initiating evasive maneuvers," he said, fingers flying over the haptic interface. The ship suddenly banked hard starboard, cutting down and around several small asteroids. Shepard watched on the exterior cams as Tali's drones followed, a pack of round purple and pink spheres at their tail.
"EDI, divert power to kinetic barriers."
"Inertial dampeners offline," the AI replied, and Shepard felt herself go weightless. "Art grav at zero G's."
Joker, strapped to his chair, didn't even acknowledge the loss of gravity, but Shepard heard several surprised shrieks and gasps from the CIC. She turned and saw Hadley and Matthews standing next to their navigation stations, feet several inches from the deck. Joker took the ship into a spin along her x axis, brushing several of the drones aside. With a smile, she tapped her foot on a deck plate behind Joker's chair, popping up the toe bar specifically for that purpose and slipping her feet underneath it.
"Do you think they're all smart enough to not lock their mag boots to the floor?" Joker quipped, pulling the ship out of the spin and banking hard to port. One of the drones tried to break from the pack and fired at their starboard side. The pilot rocked the ship in response, batting the drone away with the ship's wing, sending it flying.
"I sure hope so. The last thing Chakwas needs is to treat people for torn ligaments."
On the ladar, the drones were still tailing them, so Joker pulled the ship up into an arcing loop. If her feet hadn't been tucked under the bar, she would have smashed into the ceiling, much like Patel had done a few seconds earlier.
"What did I say about being prepared, Patel!" Shepard barked. Her voice carried to the woman all they way across the CIC.
"Sorry, Commander! It won't – whoa! – happen again!"
"Hadley, unlock those mag boots or you'll tear your leg ligaments!"
"Aye aye ma'am! Oh! Weee!"
The navigator complied, and went sailing past Matthews, only to be caught by yeoman Kelly, who, surprisingly, was doing quite well in the zero g environment.
"Point two one three on the z axis, Miller," Joker said calmly. "There ya go. Keep those thrusters hot for me." He turned to peek up at Shepard, a naughty grin on his face. "Donnelly! I need more! Give it to me!"
"Aye, Joker!" the engineer replied through the comm. "But you best be takin' me out to dinner afterwards!"
"You two are incorrigible," Shepard laughed, turning her attention back to the front of the ship. He took them blindingly fast through a denser part of the asteroid belt, needling the ship through holes she couldn't even begin to find. The drones were struggling to catch up; even their small size wasn't enough to outmaneuver the Normandy. It was as if he knew the spaces would be there before he even saw them. The shot out above the belt, clearing the debris field, the ship arcing in a graceful parabola. Shepard laughed as her feet left the decking despite being tucked under the bar; his maneuver had shaken her loose.
Joker gave her a cheeky wink, and nodded towards the exterior feeds. "That's an awfully big rock, Commander."
"Seems to be in our way, Helmsman." She tabbed open her comm. "Garrus?"
"Thanix is hot, Shepard," the turian replied, a hint of excitement in his voice.
Joker had oriented the ship towards the out of the system, not another planet for thousands of light years. Newton's First Law of Physics was engrained into every Alliance soldier's brain; you don't shoot in space unless you knew you were going to hit something, or unless there was a very large amount of space between you and the next innocent object. The Thanix, with its molten metal payload, could project a beam for light years before it succumbed to friction.
"Let's see what our new gun can do."
Joker brought his hand down on a large red circle glowing on the interface. Shepard felt the ship rock beneath her feet as the Thanix fired. Molten jets of blue-white metal shot out with blinding speed, smashing into the asteroid hundreds of kilometers ahead of them. With a spectacular show of dust and particulate matter, the asteroid exploded.
"Nice!" Joker yelled, taking the ship through a victory roll.
"All those calibrations were well worth it, Garrus," Shepard said in jubilation.
"And you doubted me," came his answer over the comm. She could hear the grin in his voice.
"Nicely done, Joker. EDI, can you restore art grav please?"
The AI complied, bringing normal gravity back in small increments. Shepard moved about the ship, checking on the status of her crew. Surprisingly, no one had suffered anything more than a minor bruise or two. She was proud. Making her way back to the CIC, she gave Kelly a tight smile.
"Well done, Chambers. Color me impressed."
Kelly blushed. "Thank you, Commander. Oh, and the Illusive Man would like to speak with you."
She sighed inwardly, and thanked the yeoman for the info.
Speaking with the Illusive Man always left Shepard conflicted. The man had an eerie aura about him that translated even through the holographic projection. She new he was the head of a pseudo terrorist organization, but he had spent four billion credits bringing her back.
That doesn't mean you have to gravel at his feet, Clementine. Just be polite and chipper.
Stepping forward into the comm room, she watched as the table sank into the decking, and the projector began scanning her. The Illusive Man shimmered into view before her, taking a drag of his cigarette.
"Shepard," he purred. "I think we have them. Horizon – one of our colonies in the Terminus Systems – just went silent. If it isn't under attack, it soon will be. Has Mordin delivered the counter measure for the seeker swarms?"
Had he? She hadn't seen the salarian for several cycles now; he had sequestered himself to the lab. "Not yet."
"Let's hope he works well under pressure." A sip of liquor this time, followed by another drag of his cigarette. I bet he smokes a pack a day, she mused, and nodded her agreement. "There's something else you should know. One of your former crew members, Kaiden Alenko, is station on Horizon."
Her ears perked at that bit of info. "Last I knew, Kaiden was Alliance. What's he doing out in the Terminus Systems?"
The Illusive Man looked slightly amused at her misgivings. "Officially, it's an outreach program to improve Alliance relations with the colonies. But they're up to something. And if they sent Commander Alenko, it must be big."
Commander, huh? I guess things have changed in the two years I was…gone.
Suspicion needled at her, and she bit the inside of her lip. "The Collectors just happen to pick a colony with one of my former crew? I don't buy it."
"It shouldn't be a surprise the Collectors are interested in you, especially if they're working for the reapers." He paused, taking another drag. "They might be going after him to get to you."
Alarm bells rang in her head, and she could feel her biotics threatening to emerge, uncontrolled. "Send the coordinates. We'll head straight there."
"This is the most warning we've ever had, Shepard. Good luck."
With a flicker, he severed the connection, throwing her back into the harsh light of the comm room. Kaiden, on Horizon. In the Terminus Systems. It just wasn't making any sense.
"Joker," she said to the room. "Set a course for Horizon."
There was a brief pause, and she wondered just how much of the conversation he had been listening in on.
"Aye aye, Commander."
Translations:
"Vous et lui?" = you and her?
"Elle parle français, sœur. Vous faites un âne de vous-même" = She speaks French, sister. You're making an ass of yourself.
Footnotes: For those of you that follow me in general as an author, or have been following my Shakarian tics, I will be updating several more chapters within the next few days. For those of you following this story, thank you! I've also gotten a few messages asking me if I have social media; the answer is yes, I mainly use a tumblr. I can be found at calmbeneathcastles dot tumblr dot com.
Next up for our lovable Commander and pilot is Horizon. I've tweaked the timeline a bit, so we have most of the crew, but haven't started getting into the nitty gritty of the storyline yet. A liberty I feel I can take with my fanfic. So, with that being said, I have a feeling Joker is about to get...territorial, and prepare yourself for some whiny Alenko dialogue.
Ta for now!