Rest in peace, Alan Rickman. I will remember your perfect Snape drawl, always.

Warning: there is a mention of suicide attempts in this chapter.

Severus Snape was livid. He was incensed by Potter's words. He did not know what galled him more, the utter disrespect that the boy had displayed by yelling at him or about the lies that the no-good muggles had told about Lily. He refused to acknowledge some feelings of shame that had accompanied the realization that Potter's home life might not have been the pampered existence that Severus had imagined would be extended to James Potter's offspring. As the boy ran down the hall, Severus fought the urge to yell after the boy and to, of course, deduct house points, as trivial and meaningless as that action seemed. However, Severus had grown used to years of using the absurd point system that the students cared about to punish hormonal and emotional adolescents for a myriad of real and imagined transgressions to the point that it was almost second nature. Instead, he spun on his heels, determined to pay no mind to Potter's tantrum. As he did so, he came to face to face with a bewildered Lupin and a livid Cressida.

"What?" He barked. He was in no mood to deal with either at the moment.

Cressida's lips were thinned to point that they turned white against her pale skin. She narrowed her eyes at him before asking, "Was that really necessary, Severus? To goad him on like that? Really, could you be more childish?" She rolled her eyes and popped into thin air.

Lupin continued to look confused. However, as he realized that he was the only one left in the hall with a very angry Severus, he sputtered, "Well...erm...thank you for the potion, Severus..." He faltered but appeared to gather his Gryffindor courage and put on a mild expression on his face before adding, "It seems that there is never a dull moment in this castle." He let out an awkward chuckle and ducked back into his office.

Severus continued to glare at the empty space that Lupin had previous occupied. His nostrils flared as he considered his current predicament. He hated his job. The expectation to coddle the angst-ridden brats in addition to trying to instill some kind of knowledge in the dunderheads was too much. He wanted to let Potter stew in whatever imaginary injustice the boy had conjured. At the same time, he could not shake the image of Cressida's disappointed look. There was no point in allowing the boy to continue to spread lies, especially to someone as influential in the wizarding community as Cressida. Heaven forbid Cressida should allow her soft spot for Lily to cloud her judgement of the boy. Severus resolutely ignored the small voice inside his head that stated that he was projecting his hatred of James Potter on his spawn. He let out a long suffering sigh as he turned to follow Potter's path.

Fortunately, this was not too difficult of an endeavor. His cloaks billowed behind him as he menacingly strode up to a nervous looking Colin Creevy, who upon hearing the potions master's inquiry, hesitatingly pointed in the direction of the owlery. Another threat of detention towards Wood to be served during the upcoming Quidditch match allowed the confirmation that Potter had indeed run in that direction. As he climbed the stairs, he expected to hear voices, or at least Potter's sniveling. That word always left a bitter taste in Severus' mouth and for a second, he felt something akin to regret for the mention of the boys guardians. Clearly, they were a touchy subject.

As he rounded the final set of stairs, he peered into the doorway of the owlery. Cressida was staring out the window and the boy's gaze was fixed on his shoes. Neither of them saw him approach. He hesitated and noticed that Cressida was talking. He, however, was unable to hear her. He realized that she must have placed some kind of silencing charm around them. Not wanting to intrude, Severus placed a disillusionment charm on himself and decided to watch events unfold. He could not see their expressions from his vantage point. He leaned against one of the walls of the landing. He was going to wait for Cressida to emerge and thought that he may as well take points from Potter after the conversation was over. The boy had, after all, treated him with disrespect.

Severus saw as Cressida turned slightly and smiled at Potter. He wondered whether he should have been more vigilant about the boy's whereabouts over the last twelve years. Cressida clearly enjoyed Potter's company or at least was making some effort to get to know him. However, these thoughts were quickly put aside as he remembered all the times that Cressida had mentioned that the boy had never responded to any of her letters, cards, or gifts. He had asked Albus once about the boy's mail due to Cressida's inquiries and had received the response that Potter's mail had been well in hand. Therefore, he had assumed that the boy had not learned the proper etiquette of sending thank you notes or replies. He had even thought that since the boy was probably inundated with gifts due to his celebrity status, that the boy had grown entitled. His brief interactions with Draco through maintaining his necessary connection with the Malfoys had taught him that young boys could be entitled prats especially when they were coddled and showered with gifts and affection. James Potter with his mean streak and callous disregard for rules certainly embodied this. As Severus pondered this, he realized that Potter, while defiant and disrespectful, did not act like his father nor as the Malfoy scion did. Both Potter Sr. and Malfoy acted as if they had expected to be fawned over as if they were bored of the attention even as they actively sought it. Even as he yelled at Potter in class, he also noted the boy's careful demeanor and avoidance of his peers' attention. How many times had he witnessed the boy patting down his bangs. Severus had been annoyed by this gesture as he had interpreted it as being synonymous with James Potter mussing up his hair to look windswept, a gesture to seek attention. Severus frowned as he wondered whether boy was self-conscious about his fame in the wizarding world. His scowl deepened as he grew annoyed at spending so much energy thinking about the boy. After all, he spent most of his time trying to make sure that the rascal didn't kill himself with sticking his nose in places it didn't belong. Potter's bushy-haired know-it-all friend, whom Severus suspected was behind the curious inquiries and forays, and Potter's pig-headed sidekick did not help matters. While the Weasleys, in general, annoyed Severus with their resolute views on good and evil, it was the youngest boy who incited Severus' rage. The twins were terrible with their incessant pranks but even Severus had to grudgingly admit the genius in their methods and their potion marks, when they were not too busy experimenting, were rather decent at times. He usually ignored the groveling prat headboy whose brown-nosing grated on Severus' nerves. The two oldest were rather exemplary and were polite enough. Severus briefly wondered if having the twins had negatively impacted Molly Weasley's parenting. The youngest boy was a stubborn, lazy, and stupid fool. His essays were blatant copies of Grangers and yet, were riddled with spelling mistakes. How anyone could make spelling mistakes while copying another person's work baffled Severus. He grudgingly admitted that Potter, at least, paraphrased and attempted to understand Granger's thoughts. While the boy's handwriting was abysmal and his metaphors worse, the boy at least attempted his work.

Severus was interrupted from his tangential thinking of the Weasleys and Potter's potions marks when he noticed that Cressida had conjured a candle on the window ledge of the owlery. He cursed under his breath as the sharp reminder of his greatest mistake had come into view. Of course, he knew it was the anniversary of Lily's death. He would never forget the worst day of his life but he usually distracted himself with his anger. Today was no different. However, seeing the candle brought back memories of his grief and the reason why Cressida and he had started their ritual.

It was October 31, 1982. Cressida was currently in an ISS rehabilitative center. Despite Severus' healing of her wounds, she sustained many injuries and was currently training to get back into the field. Severus had spent the past year in a haze. He had grudgingly taken the position as a potions master at Hogwarts. Albus had not given him much of a choice and Severus felt at home at the castle, despite the constant reminders of Lily. The weekend was terrible. He spent Saturday in a drunken haze to try and drown out the thoughts of Lily. However, drinking had reminded him of his father and Severus felt suddenly crushed by the misery that surrounded his life. His abusive father, his down-trodden mother, his terrible mistakes had all collapsed on him. He felt the need to escape and found himself sitting in a tub of cold water, fully-clothed. He knew that the alcohol had thinned his blood and then closed his eyes and he cast Sectumsempra on himself. He had felt the life draining out of him as he shivered. He remembered blacking out. He was elated for a moment when he woke and fully expected to be beyond the veil until he saw Cressida's livid and worried expression. With a crushing sense of despair, he realized that he was in his bed, the dark canopy mocking him. His wounds were fully healed. Apparently, Cressida had a similar pendant to the one that had burned her when Lily was killed. It informed her when Severus was in mortal danger and allowed her to apparate to his location. She had been angry with him but somehow, the anger was more reassuring that the pity he had expected. She had berated him for what seemed like hours before finally delivering the line that had him curl up in shame. "What a poor way to remember Lily," she had said. "You are alive and she is dead. Your dying is not going to bring her back." Cressida was usually stoic and seeing the tears that glistened in her eyes had broken Severus. He sobbed bitterly into his pillows, too emotionally exhausted to occlude. She had lain a gentle hand on his shoulder and left him to his privacy. After a few hours, Severus had gotten up and walked into his kitchen to find a carton of rocky road sitting next to a bag of crisps on a small table. A candle stood in the middle. Cressida later arrived with three bottles of butterbeer.

"This is how I want to remember her." She had stated in a tone that brooked no argument. Severus could only nod.

They had lit the candle, and talked for hours about their memories of Lily. The way that they would sneak off to muggle London to see the Who Black Sabbath, Queen, and Led Zeppelin and how Lily was equal parts envious and appalled by Cressida's nose ring when she was 14. The grief was easier to manage.

The next year saw Severus standing on the edge of the astronomy tower. Cressida had appeared next to him with the necessary provisions and they had sat on the cold tower with the candle, remembering the first time that they tried cigarettes during their third year. Lily, in an uncharacteristic state of rebellion, had stolen them from her father and persuaded both Cressida and Severus to try them with her on the astronomy tower one night. They had later snuck back into the castle. Lily was caught by the Gryffindor tower by McGonagall who had taken points from Lily and given detention to both Cressida and Severus for sneaking contraband into the castle. Lily had protested this but McGonagall assumed that she was trying to protect her Slytherin friends. It did not help that Severus had stubbornly stated that the cigarettes belonged to him.

The following year, Severus took a trip to Muggle London and appeared on the doorstep of Cressida's flat. She was at home with a furiously blushing Charlotte who left very quickly after Severus arrived. Severus and Cressida went to a pub, then a corner store where Severus purchased the ice cream and she bought the crisps. They passed an instrument store where Cressida impulsively decided to buy a guitar, before finally going back to the flat. After a night of several attempts at Stairway to Heaven, Severus spent the night on a conjured mattress on Cressida's floor.

Halloween for the next two years occurred in a similar fashion. One year was spent in Severus' quarters and the next in Cressida's London flat which was being emptied in preparation for her new field assignments. The day now only brought a dull ache for Severus and seemed to only make Cressida slightly wistful. He had known, rationally, that Cressida would heal faster than he would, if he ever could, but he appreciated that she shared the remembrance. No one, after all, could remember Lily like they did.

The rituals had stopped after that, for no other reason than convenience. Severus no longer felt badly enough to end his life on the day and Cressida was now assigned to lengthy assignments around the world. Her flat now served as a safe house for WAND agents and she was steadily earning her place in the upper ranks of the agency. Her tactical prowess soon allowed her to take a leadership role. She resided at her manor in France during the holidays. Charlotte had moved in with her soon after, preferring to portkey to headquarters over commuting the muggle way from London. Cressida visited Severus occasionally and vice-versa but never with the same kind of intensity that had marked the first few anniversaries of Lily's passing.

Severus was shaken out of his reminiscence when he realize that the small ritual between Potter and Cressida had ended. He turned and fled swiftly and softly down the stairs. He had enough of memories for the day.