A/N: Thank you to user Anastasia The Goddess of Drama for pointing out a few mistakes I didn't mean to make on the last chapter. I've fixed them. What were those mistakes?
1. I changed up the letter from Narcissa's mother, and the conversation with Andromeda. The basic jist of the changes: Bellatrix hadn't wanted to enter into a 'traditional' arranged marriage. Meaning, she'd allow her father to betroth her by her 15/16th birthday, but had been caught sleeping with Rodolphus and thus her parents ended up having to force him due to the fact that in their society a woman stays untouched until marriage. Bellatrix did not finish her education to Hogwarts due to her having to get married.
2. I had messed up with writing the conversation with James and Sirius. Before the edit they'd talked about Andromeda being blasted off the tree. My tired brain had forgotten which story I'd been writing for {since I'd written that part last, a couple of hours after I'd written the part before}, and therefore had made a mistake. I've fixed it and changed that portion of the conversation.
:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:
Chapter 2: The Next Day: Hogsmeade Weekend
Sitting in the Great Hall the next morning was strange for Narcissa. She didn't quite sit with her friends because he was there with them. She sat off by herself a bit down the table from them, barely picking at her food. She wasn't exactly that hungry this morning. And it didn't help that she hadn't slept nearly at all the night before.
In twenty-four hours her entire life had drastically changed. Yesterday morning she'd waited for Lucius to walk her to the Great Hall for breakfast, hand-in-hand. Yesterday morning all was right with the world and therefore her life. And then she'd gotten that letter from her mother declaring that her and James Potter would be her husband.
Looking down at her plate she didn't see the figure come up behind her. James had walked into the Great Hall, seeing Narcissa looking so down in the dumps and decided to cheer her up.
Walking up behind her, he moved his hands to rest on the table on either side of her, leaning and kissing her cheek playfully. "Good morning! Are you ready to go to Hogsmeade with me?" he asked.
She'd jumped at the feel of his arms and sound of his voice, turning to look at him, narrowing her eyes a bit. "Don't kiss me. We're not quite there yet, Potter." she said icily.
"Well, not a morning person are you?" he asked with a chuckle, moving to take a seat next to her which made her just stare at him in wonder.
"What in merlin's name do you think you're doing? This is the Slytherin table. Your table is over there." she said, motioning towards the Gryffindor table.
But James just shrugged. "Lets see them make me move. Its not assigned seating you know. I can sit with you if I'd like."
"I'd prefer if you didn't. I enjoy being alone in the morning." she muttered, sitting up straight and turning her attention on her plate in front of her, eating some more of her food in order to give him the illusion that she didn't want to be bothered.
A grin crossed his face as he started helping himself to some food. "No-pe." he said, making a 'pop' sound as he finished the word. "You don't. I've seen you over there with Malfoy in the mornings."
Rolling her eyes, she glanced at him. "I enjoyed being with my boyfriend. You I do not know quite well enough to decide to enjoy your company in the morning."
He could tell she'd slipped on her icy exterior mask, he'd caught her off guard and suspected that she didn't like that too much. But he wasn't leaving. He'd have breakfast with her and that would be final. "So, I thought we'd head to the Three Broomsticks first, get some butter beer. I love butter beer. Do you?" he asked, changing the subject.
"It's alright." she said, casting him a sideways glance. And then she noticed it. He was looking at them with practically a murderous look in his grey eyes. She could practically hear the possessive growl that'd come from his throat, even though it was most likely under his breath. She just knew him well enough to know thats what he would do.
Looking at Lucius, she saw the tightness of his jaw, the way his fingers gripped his fork as though they were his lifeline holding him cemented to the spot. Their eyes met and she couldn't tear hers away from his. She was sure that James had said something but she wasn't paying attention. It'd hadn't even been a full day since she'd had contact with Lucius and she already felt her insides twisting, missing the sound of his voice, the feel of his lips on her skin, or his arms wrapped securely around her waist as he held her close on his lap.
Her eyes caught movement though. Penelope Zabini came up to Lucius, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing his cheek, whispering something to him and giggling. Looking away quickly as not to get upset she took in a breath and nodded. "I..I'm sorry James what were you saying?"
"I was asking what your favorite thing from Honeydukes is? Just...trying to make conversation." he said, looking at her curiously. "Are you okay Narcissa?" he asked. But when he looked up he saw the image of Penelope Zabini with Lucius Malfoy and let out a sigh.
Shifting on his seat, he turned to look at her, brushing her hair behind her ear. "Hey. Look at me." he said. And when she did, he gave her a smile. "It'll be alright. We said we'd try this remember? Give me a chance to make you look at me the way you look at him. I don't want to see you upset..."
"Well its too late for that. Look James my entire world has changed in the matter of one day. It's going to take time for me to adjust. I did say I'd give you a chance and I meant it. A Black never goes back on their word. And I give you my word, I am trying. It's just hard."
"I know it must be..." he said. But really he didn't. He didn't have a girlfriend before Narcissa. Didn't have someone he loved the way Narcissa seemed to love Lucius.
Taking in a deep breath, she closed her eyes halfway and nodded. "It is. Just...be patient?"
"I'll be as patient as I need to be."
"Thank you..." she said, leaning and pressing her lips softly against his cheek before she sat up. "Now, Hogsmeade. I'll meet you at the front hall, okay? I need to go get my coat and what not."
"Alright." he said with a smile.
:-:-:-:-:-:-:
True to her word Narcissa didn't take long to get ready. She'd sped past most of the stares from her fellow Slytherin classmates and into the dormitory before going to meet James. And they walked to the village, not necessarily too close to one another, but walking side-by-side.
Though instead of stopping at the Three Broomsticks immediately the couple decided to walk along the path together in relative silence. Every now and then they chit-chatted about various things. Classes, schoolwork, friends.
Eventually they did decide to stop by the Three Broomsticks, moving inside along with fellow Hogwarts students. The little pub was packed as it usually was on these trips. Narcissa moved away from James, letting him head to the bar to get them a couple of butter beers to drink before heading out again. It was quite cold outside, snow blanketed the small towns grounds and buildings. Every student was bundled up in jackets and scarves as they huddled about the village.
Narcissa found a small empty table and took a seat, rubbing her hands together as she took her gloves off, sitting it on the table in front of her and waiting for James to bring their drinks back. The Three Broomsticks was absolutely packed as she knew it would be, it was a favorite of Hogwarts students.
It surprisingly didn't take too long for James to return with their drinks, sitting both on the table and taking a seat across from her, giving her a smile as he did. "Two butter beers, my lady." he said in an attempt to be charming.
She couldn't help but giggle, shaking her head. "You're entirely too much." she said, moving to take the mug of warm butter beer. Grasping the mug warmed her fingers and as she took a sip her insides warmed up as well.
"Yeah, my friends tell me as much." he said with a shrug, taking a drink from his own mug, looking up at her, smiling. "And people tell me that you don't know how to laugh. I find them entirely wrong! Your laugh and smile are beautiful, why not use it more often?"
"Because...one must keep their composure you know. I have a lot to live up to being a Black. I must not let the mask slip..." she said, chewing on her lip and leaning against the table, looking up at him. "Truth is...who I am doesn't matter. Just the image of who I am to the outside world. I've only ever imagined that I'd share my real true self to my family, a husband...kids one day..."
James listened to her and leaned to take her hand, squeezing it. "You are more than just your family name. Everyone is. You are who you are because you choose it. Do not let a name determine your entire life."
"But we are our family name. We must not dishonor our family, hold who we are respectfully. There is nothing wrong with having a mask hiding who you truly are to the outside world. To everyone I am the perfect lady that my parents raised, I hold my head high and proud. So long as those closest to me know my true self that is what is most important."
"I suppose that is true. But I don't see the point in having a mask. It must be so difficult to keep it up, like you're living two lives.."
Narcissa shrugged, looking down at his hand before gently taking hers back, taking ahold of the mug and taking a slow sip of her butter beer before she answered. "It isn't really. When you're raised like those in many pureblood families that is. For instance, Lucius Malfoy isn't as everyone thinks he is. I know his true self. But I wouldn't betray that. Its all public face."
"Thats just the thing. Isn't it difficult? Playing a part?"
"Sometimes..." she said dismissively as she sipped at her butter beer. "Most time it isn't. But I do enjoy relaxing every once in a while."
"Maybe I can get to know you? The real you?"
Smiling a bit she shrugged. "If you haven't noticed I am giving you a chance."
James laughed and nodded. "Yeah I suppose you are." he said, sipping at his butter beer slowly.
They chatted about various things, classes, friends, schoolwork, ambitions. James had said he wanted to be an auror when he finished at Hogwarts. Whereas Narcissa only thought much about being a housewife and a mother. It was what she was groomed to do since birth. She did want a family too, she wanted a son and daughter, one of each.
When they finished their butter beers they both got up and bundled back up to head out into the cold weather outside. Gently Narcissa moved her arm to slink through James's which made him smile a bit.
And as they walked, James let his arm move around her shoulders innocently, acting as though he hadn't noticed. And, to his pleasure Narcissa did not shrug him off or stop him. She just continued walking.
Steering her towards Honeydukes and leading her inside, looking around at all of the students filling the small sweets shop. "So, I ask you again, what is your favorite?" he asked, looking at her.
She smiled a bit as she looked up at him. "Lemon Drops." she answered, looking up at the wall. "I'm not too big on sweets. Sure I like cauldron cakes and chocolate truffles. But lemon drops are my favorite. Oh and I love Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. My sisters and I used to have fun trying to trick one another into eating a vomit flavored one." she said with a slight giggle, glancing at him.
James laughed, looking at him. "Really? Didn't picture you as the mischievous type."
"Oh I am. Besides it was a game most of the time. If you lost or chickened out than you had to try one. Sometimes we would do dares, and other times it'd be different." she said, a smile gracing her lips as she looked up at James.
Seeing her smile made his stomach flop. Maybe he was already starting to get to like her. She looked so beautiful when she smiled at him like that. Never had he seen her look happy. Usually the only people to see behind Narcissa's icy mask were family and Lucius Malfoy.
"Well I was mistaken then." he said, stepping up to the counter and asking for some lemon drops. When Narcissa took out her coin purse he shook his head, dropping the sickles that it cost, and then getting some other things.
Watching the witch behind the counter bag up his order, he took the bag and began to steer Narcissa out of the shop, moving his arm around her shoulders again and glancing at her. But she almost looked upset.
"Why'd you do that? I can pay for my own sweets Potter." she said, slipping back into the same icy mask she'd showed before which made him sigh.
"I wanted to do something nice for you Narcissa. Why is that so bad? Come on, we're having fun." he said, hugging her a bit with his arm as they walked.
Her eyes narrowed and let out a sigh, nodding. "Fine. Nothing is wrong with it. Thank you James." she said, reminding herself that she was going to give him a shot.
James steered them down the path that led them to the Shrieking Shack. And as they stopped in front of it Narcissa looked up at the old building, moving to rest her hands on the fence that surrounded it to keep people out.
"They say its haunted you know." she mentioned.
But James chuckled. He and his friends knew the true secret of the Shrieking Shack. "It's not haunted."
Glancing over at him skeptically she tilted her head to one side. "How can you be sure?"
"Well, for one thing, you don't hear any ghosts now do you? And besides, why stay there when you can join the ghosts up in the castle?" he asked, resting his hand on the fence and leaning a bit against it which made him lean a bit closer to Narcissa.
"I...I don't know. Perhaps that was their home and they wish to remain there."
"Mmm, I don't think so."
"And you presume to know the secrets of the Shrieking Shack?"
James grinned and shrugged. "Who believes in such rubbish? Besides, how could a ghost be scary? They can't hurt you, not really. Don't tell me you're afraid of ghosts?"
"Certainly not!" she insisted, turning more to look at him and blushing as she realized he was so close to her.
"Good. Because, you know, I'd protect you if you were..." he mentioned. Brushing her hair out of her face and giving her a smile, seeing the brush spread across her cheeks.
She couldn't help but chuckle a bit at his movements and words. "Are you flirting with me?" she asked.
"And if I am?"
Looking down a bit, biting her bottom lip and shrugging. "I guess...it wouldn't be...terrible."
James smiled at this, resting the bag from Honeydukes down and gently resting one hand on her waist, using his other to tip her head up to look at him. "It wouldn't. I think I could fall in love with you, Narcissa Black. So long as you'll let me."
Looking up into his eyes she could see the emotion there. He was starting to like her as he'd gotten to know her the past day. The small chats they'd had, him watching her performance in classes, how she'd helped him yesterday if he wasn't sure what he was doing. He could tell there was more to Narcissa than what she showed the world.
Gently he leaned down, brushing his nose against hers, feeling her cold breath against his face. Closing his eyes, he moved to press his lips gently to hers, feeling the soft skin of her lips. Letting his eyes closed, hoping she didn't pull away from him.
And she didn't. Slowly she let her eyes drift closed as she gently moved her lips against James's. She'd only ever kissed Lucius before. Lucius had been her first kiss, her first everything really. Well, except for sex. She was still a virgin in that aspect, but she'd always hoped Lucius would claim her first in that area too.
At first she compared them. Both boys were tall but Lucius was a bit taller. She'd always felt like she fit against his chest like a hand would fit in a glove; perfectly. But with James it was different. It felt a bit more awkward, but perhaps that was because it was new. He also tasted different, his lips felt different.
Of course they'd feel different, they were two different boys. What did she expect? Them to be exactly alike? Then again she didn't have experience with more than one boy.
Letting herself lean into it, her hands moving to rest on his sides as her head tilted to one side as James did, deepening their kiss. When his tongue peaked against her lips though she stiffened for a moment before deciding to allow it. He was going to be her husband after all, she'd have to get used to him doing more than just kissing her.
Though what happened next almost happened in a blur. As quickly as they'd begun the kiss they were ripped apart. James was yanked away and a fist collided with his face, causing blood to spew from his nose as he stumbled back into the snow, falling onto the ground.
Narcissa gasped as she looked up, looking at James's attacker.
"Lucius!" she yelled, resting one hand over her mouth. "Lucius what do you think you're doing?!"
But her yells didn't help. Quickly Lucius swiftly kicked James hard in the gut multiple times, making him cough and yell out at the assault. It all was so sudden he hadn't seen it coming, hadn't been prepared. Besides most wizards dueled rather than resorted to physical fighting the way muggles did most of the time.
Normally that was how Lucius would handle this. Then again the physical way his foot slammed into James's abdomen, seeing the blood spurt from his nose onto the white snow caused Lucius to feel so much better. Feeling James squirming and struggling against the snow made him feel better.
"Kissing my girl, eh Potter!?" he yelled as he delivered a swift kick to James's chest that caused his glasses to fall off. "How dare you touch her with your filthy lips! Narcissa is mine!" he yelled.
"Lucius stop! Lucius!" Narcissa said, moving to grab his arm and yanking it back. "Stop this! Don't!"
As she yanked on his arm he turned to look at her. The look in his grey eyes was a look of anger that she hadn't ever seen before. So much anger flowed through his veins, he almost looked like a whole different person standing there and it took her aback for a moment.
"Please..." she said again, squeezing his arm. "I'll...I'll talk to you back in the common room, okay? Just leave James alone?" she asked.
Seeming to have to process her words for a moment before he nodded. Gently taking his arm back and shooting a glare towards James. "Remember whose girl you're messing with Potter." he spat before he turned to trudge off back towards the path. Yeah, he'd been watching them and lost all control of his temper when he'd seen Potter kiss Narcissa. She was his girl, would always be his girl and it angered him, he'd seen so much red and hadn't been in control of his actions.
As soon as Lucius backed off, Narcissa dropped to her knees. "Oh James! James are you alright?" she asked. Finding his glasses and helping him sit up, looking at his face. "Oh I'm so sorry! I've never seen Lucius act like that before."
Wiping his nose with his hand, seeing the blood and coughing a bit. "It...its fine. Don't apologize for him." he said, shooting a look towards Lucius as he walked away before looking up at Narcissa. "I'm alright. A bit sore..."
"Do you need to go to the hospital wing?"
"No..no I don't think so. I think I'll be fine." he said, coughing a bit. He'd have bruises on his chest and stomach he was sure of it, but nothing felt broken, not really. "I can live with it."
But Narcissa's eyes softened as she looked at him, gently brushing his hair back before brushing the snow off of him. "Are you sure?"
Smiling to her James nodded. "More than sure. I'll be fine, no need to bother anyone in the Hospital Wing. I would like to go back to the castle though...even though it means cutting our date short. I'm just sorry he showed up when he did. I enjoyed that kiss."
His words made Narcissa blush as she nodded. "Alright. Yeah its fine there will be other Hogsmeade weekends." she said. Moving to stand up, taking his hand and helping him up, brushing some snow off of him without realizing what she was doing. Once she realized it she blushed again and took her hands back, nodding.
He had noticed though and just smiled. Picking up the Honeydukes bag and moving to take her hand, squeezing it. "It'll take a stronger man that Malfoy to really hurt me."
"Don't talk about him like that! Lucius is a strong man, James." she said instantly, shooting him a look.
"Right right. You still like him. Okay. I'm sorry. But he did lose his temper there you must admit..."
"True. And I will speak to him about that."
James smiled and Narcissa could see the beginnings of a bruise forming on his face from where Lucius had punched him. She felt bad, but somehow she couldn't help but be thrilled that her kissing another boy was what made the great Lucius Malfoy lose control, lose his temper and forget who he was. He'd willingly fought for her in the muggle way no less. There was something gratifying to know that a man would fight for you if need be. Part of her wanted to kiss Lucius for it, but the rational part knew it was wrong.
Attempting to put it out of her mind she walked back to the castle with James, holding his hand because she knew she should. She didn't altogether hate the feel of James being close, his hand in hers and even the kiss wasn't too terrible. Perhaps it would take quite a while to get past Lucius. That is, if she ever could. And that worried her, the idea that she'd never truly get over the love of her life.
Then again, it wasn't called 'love of your life' if it was easily gotten over. Though she was beginning to feel guilty for spending time with James and thinking about Lucius. It was wrong, she knew it. Though maybe she'd get better at it. There was a moment in Honeydukes and at The Shrieking Shack where she wasn't thinking much about Lucius. So, maybe it could get better.
Walking up to the castle with James, turning to look at him in the front hall and nodding to him. "Are you sure you don't need the hospital wing?"
"I'm sure." he said.
She nodded a bit, stepping up to him and leaning to press a soft kiss to an uninjured part of his cheek. "If you insist. Feel better James. I'll straighten Lucius out.."
"Theres really no need. I get it. A couple of days ago you were his girl, I totally get that.."
"But I'm not and he over reacted. Besides I thought he was taking Penelope Zabini to Hogsmeade. Why on earth would he be following us?" she asked. The way she said Penelope's name was almost a sneer, like it felt disgusting coming from her lips.
And James noticed this too. Resting his hands on her shoulders, looking down at her. "Hey, don't be too hard on him. I'm fine. I can't tell you why he wasn't with Penelope, but its no matter..." he said, smiling a bit. "But um...that kiss...before the punching...was nice. I'd...like to do it again sometime..."
The way he said it made her giggle a bit, a blush spreading across her cheeks as she looked up at him, nodding a bit. "Than perhaps you will Mr. Potter. After all we are engaged. Who knows..." she said, smiling as she stepped back from him. "I should go. I'll see you in the Great Hall tomorrow morning?"
"It's a date. Can I eat breakfast with you now?"
"Certainly." she said with a smile before she turned to leave him, heading down into the dungeons towards the Slytherin common room. While James's words about their kiss made her smile she couldn't help but feel the fury at what Lucius had done. It'd been simply barbaric and she intended to discuss things with him.
Besides, she had to make it clear that she couldn't do this anymore, couldn't be with him even though a great deal of her wanted to. She liked James enough but it still had only been a little over a day since she'd found out about their engagement. It'd take time to sink in for everyone she was sure.
She took her time to walk down to the common room, attempting to form what she wanted to say to Lucius in her mind. No doubt most of the Slytherin house would be in Hogsmeade still, it was still early. The common room would be mostly filled with first and second years, too young to go into the wizarding village. That didn't make things easier though, she still didn't want to confront Lucius about what had happened, she just knew she needed to.
Without being able to stall much longer she spoke the password and stepped in through the portrait hole into the Slytherin Green common room, glancing around at the various first and second years sitting in chairs, doing homework. Many were also probably up in the library getting homework done or around about in the castle with friends. But she spotted him pretty quickly. Lucius sat in a far corner of the room, his gray eyes staring into the roaring fire. She could almost see the same angry blaze that laid in the fire within Lucius's eyes. He hadn't even seen her enter.
Undoing her jacket and laying it over a chair before taking in a deep breath she silently crossed the common room, staying out of his line of vision. Coming up behind him, chewing on her bottom lip before she sighed, moving to let her hands slide to rest on his shoulders. He didn't startle at her touch, he didn't move at all. Seeing him sort of allowing it she moved her hands to rest more of her palms against his shoulders, rubbing and massaging slowly, using her fingers to relax him a little.
And he visually relaxed to her touch, letting his eyes close and his shoulders slump as his head leaned back a little. "Cissa.." he whispered in a low barely audible breath.
Smiling at the sound of his voice she continued to rub and massage his shoulders, rubbing the knots out. "You're so tense." she said simply. She used to rub his shoulders a lot and she knew he liked it.
"Mmm, because I had to watch my girl kissing some Gryffindor." he said, letting his eyes open and tilting his head back to look up at her. "Don't do it again Cissa. I can't watch you with him. I thought I might be able to, but I can't. I just...was filled with so much rage. I'd never wanted to kill someone with my bare hands so badly as I did today..." he admitted. He rarely ever admitted any sort of feelings, except with Narcissa. With Narcissa it was different. She was his girl, the woman he thought he'd love forever and the only real person that saw the man behind the cold hard mask he wore in public.
Her smile faded as she let out a sigh, rubbing a bit more as she shook her head. "I can't you know that. I like James. Not the way I've always loved you, but I like him. He's nice and it wouldn't be that bad to be married to him. I mean he's not horrible. And I could learn to love him I suppose..."
"But you shouldn't have to learn to love the man." he insisted, moving his hand up to take ahold of hers, squeezing it. "It should come naturally. It's not something you can learn in a text book. It isn't something that can go away. I cannot stop loving you, please do not ask me to."
Biting her bottom lip slowly and shaking her head, drawing her hands back from his and looking down. "You know I need to ask you to stop loving me. You know I cannot help it. Please see that..."
"No I don't know." he insisted. Moving to stand up and stepping around the chair, taking ahold of both of her hands tightly and looking down at her. "Narcissa. Marry me. Be damned what our parents say. We can leave and get married."
Looking up at him shocked, Narcissa shook her head. "We're fifteen Lucius! How would you propose we get married at fifteen?"
"Well I...I haven't figured that out yet. But I could if you'd agree, I could try."
"There isn't any way. You're being idealistic. We have to be realistic about this. There is no way. We cannot legally get married ourselves until we're seventeen, there isn't a way around it."
Squeezing her hands slowly, looking into her eyes. "I am proposing here in case you haven't noticed, Narcissa. And you have not given me an answer." he said stubbornly.
"You're being idealistic. I can't do that. I cannot get my hopes up." she said, looking down at his hands as she turned hers to hold onto his, squeezing them softly and letting out a breath. "If it was realistic...I would say yes. But it isn't and I can't so my answer is no." she said, looking up to his face.
"So...if I found a way...you would marry me? Right now?"
Slowly she shook her head, looking away and letting out an exhausted breath. "If you found a way than yes I would. But you won't and you can't so you need to please stop this. Don't you understand that hope is a dangerous thing? I've given such things up. I was upset...still am...but I've learned to live with the inevitable. And you need to too. You also need to not attack my fiancé every time he kisses me."
"I cannot promise that." he said. Letting her hands go, moving his hands up to cup her face and leaning down, pressing his forehead against hers and taking in a slow breath, smelling her perfume so close to him again. "I won't give up. So long as you love me I refuse." he told her. Gently leaning down, brushing his nose against hers and gently kissing her as he let his eyes close. This kiss was very different than the one he'd given her yesterday. While yesterday he was harsh and unyielding, this time his lips were soft against hers, moving gently.
And she couldn't help but sigh into it immediately, recognizing the soft and loving feel of his lips against hers made her whole body melt. For a moment she'd forgotten, their lips moving together with practiced ease, as though they were two pieces of one puzzle fitting together in perfect harmony.
One of her hands moved to rest on the side of his neck while the other rest on his side, leaning up closer to him as her head tilted to one side and his to the other.
She didn't spend time comparing Lucius to James. The idea of James left her mind as she felt Lucius's tongue move along her lips and into her mouth, exploring slowly and gently. She lost herself in him and his lips the way she always did. They were never a couple that were fond of public displays of affection. At the most they'd share a knowing smile, or he'd hold her hand. Or even in class her hand would be sitting on the desk while the professor lectured and his hand would find hers, tracing patterns on her skin as he listened to the lecture. They were more on subtle displays of affection rather than snogging at every opportunity. No, their kisses were always saved for private moments when they were alone in the common room or lounging on his bed with the curtains drawn.
Lucius lost himself in the kiss as well. His hands moved down to rest on her hips, pulling her body up flush against his own and letting out a small groan against her lips. It was always something special with Narcissa, and he could see himself loving her for his entire life. She was the only woman he wanted, he wanted to build a life with her outside of Hogwarts. Watch his child grow within her, love her. And this had been really scaring him. Not much scared Lucius Malfoy, but the idea of losing the woman he trusted the most did.
Slowly he moved on autopilot, his feet moving without realizing it as he led her back towards the steps to the boys dormitories. Breaking the kiss for a moment, causing her to let out a whine, he leaned down and folded his arms around her thighs just underneath her butt. Lifting her up she giggled as he held her so her head was slightly above his and she had to crane her neck down to meet his lips again.
But she did meet his lips again in a soft, passionate way, letting both arms move around his neck. He carried her up the stairs and towards the fifth year boys dormitories. Attempting to open the door took a moment until he got the latch to undo, his lips staying securely against hers. Walking into the rounded room, his foot kicked the door closed with a soft latching noise and he walked her to his bed.
Resting one knee on the bed, he gently laid her back onto it, unwrapping his arms and moving his hands to rest on the bed by her sides.
Until that moment she hadn't even realized they'd moved being so lost in his lips and the feel of his tongue exploring her mouth so intimately. But the feeling of his plush bed underneath her back brought her back to reality. Leaning back, breaking the kiss she opened her eyes halfway, looking up at him. Her blue eyes looked up to meet his gray ones as he hovered above her.
But she didn't quite know what to say. Swallowing thickly, her fingers moved down from his neck along his chest, resting on his belt buckle, a soft blush along her cheeks as she felt him so close to her.
"Please..." he spoke first, leaning down close to her. Letting his forearms rest against the bed on either side of her so his face was mere inches from hers. "Please don't tell me you don't want this. Please don't tell me to stop. To stop caring..loving you...would be akin to telling me to stop breathing. It's all I know. I need you." he muttered.
Never before had he needed a person. Not until he realized how much he needed Narcissa. They'd been friends as children, he'd pick on her a bit but they'd always been close. And as they grew he realized he liked her as more than a friend. Since they started dating at the end of their second year he realized he loved her. And it took the past day without her to realize just how much.
Looking up at him as he spoke Narcissa's eyes closed halfway. "I just don't see a way..."
"I'll talk to my father immediately. We're Malfoy's. He can do something." he said, shaking his head. "I don't..want to think about my father right now. Or Potter. Or your parents. Just...you." he said, leaning down to brush his lips along her left ear, nipping at it as he slowly placed gentle kisses down the side of her neck making goosebumps move over her skin and her entire body shudder.
"Lucius..." she let out in a breath as her eyes drifted closed, tilting her head to one side.
As he kissed her neck he leaned his body down, moving his hands down onto the bed and grasping her thighs, lightly parting them and pulling her knees up so he sat in-between her legs. His body pressed close to hers but being careful not to crush her. Moving his arms back up, his hands resting on her sides as his forearms rested against the bed while his lips moved down the side of her neck and along her collarbone, letting his tongue dip down against her skin.
Feeling his tongue on her skin was amazing and she arched her back up into him, letting out soft mewls as she bit her bottom lip. She wasn't new to him kissing her neck and collarbone. She'd even felt his hands up her shirt before, but that was the farthest they'd go. And every time she'd be able to feel his erection pressing against her skin through his pants, but he never took his pants off, they'd always wanted their first time to be on their wedding night. But now it seemed as though that night wouldn't happen.
Leaning up from her neck he brushed his lips against hers in a slow kiss, closing his eyes halfway and letting out a slow sigh. "I need you Cissa." he whispered. As if to emphasize this he pressed his hips into hers, letting her feel his steadily growing erection in his pants pressed so close to her.
At the feel of him she moaned and blushed deeply. Leaning her forehead against his she closed her eyes halfway. A part of her felt guilty, but more of her wanted him to keep going, wanted to feel his hands all over her skin.
Slowly she nodded, looking up into his eyes as her fingers moved down to start slipping his shirt up, her fingers brushing along the bare skin of his sides. "The curtains." she said simply as she started to pull his shirt up and off.
Smiling, Lucius took his wand from his pocket and used magic to close the curtains around them, casting a charm to silence them before he rest his wand on the bed by her head. Leaning down, pressing her shirt up and kissing along her stomach, brushing his tongue along her sweet skin as he pushed her shirt up.
Gently pushing her shirt up and off as he sat up, looking down at her. He'd never seen her shirtless, the most he'd had was his hand up her shirt. Looking at her breasts cupped in just her bra he shuddered.
"Merlin..." he muttered as he leaned down to capture her lips again. He hadn't planned this, but he knew it was about to be the best night of his life.
:-:-:-:-:-:-:
Being with Lucius had felt so good, so perfect. While it did hurt a bit and it was awkward and a bit uncomfortable at first, she'd gotten used to it pretty quickly and it'd just felt good, better than she could have imagined. Of course she hadn't intended on sleeping with him, she hadn't intended on losing her virginity that night at all. Her intentions had always been to wait until her wedding night. But something about being with Lucius last night just felt so perfect, she was suddenly ready and couldn't imagine sharing that with someone else.
When the sun rose on Sunday morning they both were still in Lucius's bunk. Though with their dormitories being in the dungeons very little light streamed through. And with his curtains drawn it barely looked like sunlight within the four-poster bed.
Narcissa was the first one to stir. She opened her eyes just halfway and shifted on the bed, letting out a slow yawn. She'd been laying on her side with Lucius pressed up against her back, his arms around her waist. Feeling the weight of him she couldn't help but smile. So, last night hadn't been a dream.
Gently resting her hands over his, squeezing them lightly as she moved her body to lay on her back, looking back at him. She couldn't help but smile as she saw him shift with her, hiding his face in her hair as if to refuse to get up.
"Lucius..." she whispered, nudging him with her shoulder a little.
As he stirred he let his eyes open just slightly, looking at her and smiling. "Morning beautiful." he whispered, leaning down and pressing a slow kiss to her lips.
She smiled into the kiss, closing her eyes halfway as she leaned close to him, rubbing his arm as she leaned back, looking up at him.
As much as she didn't like to admit it they had to get out of this bed and face the real world. The idea made her smile fade and she sighed, leaning her forehead against his and letting her eyes close halfway.
"We do have to face the real world now you know.." she reminded him.
"Mm, I suppose we do." he said, his hand resting on her hip and bringing her up closer to him. "But I would be content staying in this bed with you forever. Who needs the real world?"
She couldn't help but giggle and shake her head. "Hogwarts would like their bed back I am sure." she said, looking up at him and sighing a bit. "I...I don't regret last night, I really don't. It was amazing. I'd always imagined my first time to be on my wedding night with the man I love. One out of two isn't bad, its just as good." she said, looking up at him.
"But..?" he asked.
"But we can't ignore life. I wanted to be with you. I do want to be with you. But this arrangement with James still exists." she said.
When he opened his mouth to say something she reached up, resting two fingers over his lips and shaking her head. "Look, I have an idea, okay? And I'll make you a deal. Find a way to ask my parents for my hand...to get me out of this marriage contract. And I will marry you happily. If you can't...well...I propose we give it two years. We have two years until we graduate, two years until we could even get married. But if I cannot get out of this contract I owe it to myself, my parents and James to try. I want to try for two years. At graduation...if you still love me and I still love you and we want to get married...than we'll run away. You and me, just the two of us, damned what anyone says."
Listening to her Lucius let out a slow breath as he nodded. "I'll speak to my father immediately. Surely your parents will see a match with me is much better than Potter. You will be my wife Narcissa."
"Will you give me two years if you can't get me out of it?"
He looked at her for a moment, gritting his teeth and letting his eyes close, contemplating for a moment before he nodded just once. "Yes. I'll give it two years. But I'll promise you one thing. My heart will not change. Upon graduation I'll still want to marry you more than anything in the world."
"And will you accept it if I decide I want to marry James?" she asked, looking up at him as she ran her fingers up and down his arm. "I don't plan on falling for James. But I plan on giving this relationship thing a try if I need to."
Lucius was quite for a long moment before he just nodded. "Fine. I will." he said, looking at her. "I want you to be happy. In the end if you decide that I'm not what makes you happy...I suppose I'll have to learn to accept that."
Smiling softly, Narcissa nodded. "Thank you." she said, leaning up and pressing a slow kiss to his lips. "Oh! And no punching James, please? Even if I don't love him he's a nice guy. He didn't even go to the Hospital Wing, or tell anyone. He could have gotten you in a lot of trouble you know."
"Yeah yeah, I just couldn't help it. I can't promise I won't try to hurt him or rebel against him when I see him with his hands on you at all. In my mind you are still my girl."
"Then try." she said, kissing him again before she sighed, moving to sit up.
Rolling onto his back he looked up at her. "Do you have to go now...?"
"I do. I need a shower real quick and I'm starting to get really hungry. Besides I promised I'd meet James and I don't break my promises."
A sigh came from him as he watched her, his eyes traveling along her skin and smiling a bit. She'd let the sheet fall down into her lap and he just couldn't get enough of looking at her. Moving to sit up, kissing the back of her shoulder and slowly up to her ear, nipping at it slowly.
"When we're married," he whispered as he rubbed her harm, "We're going to spend days at a time locked away from the world in our bedroom. Just you and me. Maybe a house elf every now and then to bring food. But I want you all to myself." he whispered.
Giggling, she leaned to kiss him before she nodded. "I'll hold you to that Mr. Malfoy." she teased as she started to gather her clothes to get up.
:-:-:-:-:-:-:
When she entered the Great Hall many people were already there. She could even see James sitting with her cousin Sirius and she felt guilty almost immediately upon seeing him. He'd trusted her and she'd slept with Lucius last night. It was the first real trickle of guilt that moved through her.
Slowly she walked to the Slytherin table and moved to take a seat by herself, starting to get her food to eat. She felt a bit sore today in the most intimate of places, but she couldn't make herself regret what had happened. It had been perfect with Lucius, everything she'd imagined.
But she wasn't alone for too long before James came to sit with her. She saw him walk up to her this time and take a seat just next to her.
"Good morning." he said happily. His face looked a bit better than it had last night though there was still a dark bruise on his cheek from where he'd been hit.
Looking over at him she gave him a small smile and a short nod. "Morning James." she said as she began picking at her food. "Are you feeling alright today? Your face I mean..." she asked, looking up at the bruise on his face.
"Yeah I'm fine. Just some bruises on my face and ribs. It's fine. Sirius wanted to bust Malfoy's face in, but I convinced him not to."
She scoffed and rolled her eyes as she took a bite of her food while he spoke. Chewing and swallowing she nodded. "Good thing you did. My cousin is a bit too violent for his own good. He doesn't always have his head on straight I believe."
"Nah Sirius is great. He's one of my best friends. There are four of us. Myself, Sirius, Remus and Peter. We fancy ourselves quite the marauders."
Looking at him a bit and shaking her head. "You realize marauders are basically pirates, right? Pillagers, looters..."
"We view it as explorers." he said with a grin, taking a bite from his toast.
"Explorers?" she asked, tilting her head to one side. "My cousin an explorer? I doubt that."
"Eh we're friends and we have fun. I'd like you to hang out with us sometime you know. I mean, you are my girl now..." he suggested, looking up at her. "Hey, how would you like to come by and watch Quidditch practice this Thursday? I'm Gryffindor team captain you know." he boasted.
Narcissa chuckled and nodded. "I know. And Lucius is Slytherin Quidditch Captain. He's a keeper. You're the seeker for Gryffindor right?"
"The one and only." he said, looking up at her. "So how about it? Come watch me practice?"
A grin crossed her lips as she shrugged. "Not afraid I'm going to spy for the Slytherin team?"
"Nope. Besides, team practices aren't exactly confidential. Anyone from school can come watch us practice. And Slytherin couldn't beat us, we've got the talent."
"Have you forgotten I'm from Slytherin?" she asked, eyeing him a bit. Quidditch had always been competitive between the houses, but the biggest rivalry in school were against the Gryffindor and Slytherin houses.
Moving one arm around her shoulder he hugged her to his side, shaking his head. "Nope I haven't forgotten. I just want to show off in front of my girl. Is that a bad thing?"
After a moment she just smiled and nodded. "I'll come watch on Thursday." she said, looking back to her breakfast.
Though she saw movement at the door of the Great Hall. People had been moving about since she'd sat down but her eyes were drawn up to see Lucius walk in. She was drawn to him like he were a magnet. Their eyes met and he just nodded. But then he did something she hadn't expected; he walked over to them. Standing on the opposite side of the table, he leaned his hands on the table and looked down at Narcissa, ignoring James.
"I've just written to my father Cissa. I did get a note from my mother yesterday by the way, she sends her love to you." he stated simply.
James looked up at Lucius at this point and Narcissa could feel James's grip on her shoulder tighten just a little bit. She knew he didn't like Lucius coming up and talking to them.
But she nodded. "Alright. Thanks. Let me know what your father says, okay?" she asked, looking up at him and smiling a little. "Send your mother my love too. I really don't think it'd be proper for me to write her now."
"Why not? She's always loved you Cissa. She'll be sad when father reads my letter and informs her of your engagement." he said, shooting a look towards James.
They didn't flaunt their relationship, not at all. Her parents didn't even know about it due to the fact that they were very traditional and wouldn't deem it appropriate. Though Lucius's mother Evelyn Malfoy knew. She was the nicest woman Narcissa had ever met, and Evelyn seemed to love her so much. She thought that his father Abraxas Malfoy had some inkling to their relationship since Evelyn did know.
"Well its just circumstances have changed..." she said, letting out a sigh and shaking her head, opening her mouth to continue.
But James spoke for her. "Don't you have somewhere else to be Malfoy? I'm having a pleasant breakfast with my girl here and I don't appreciate a man that is so violent as to punch me in the face disturbing us."
Lucius shot him a deathly glare, nearly growling at him. "This isn't over Potter. I'm a Malfoy. Do you really think you can take my girl and get away with it?" he asked. He so wanted to tell him about last night, about how he had been with Narcissa in ways that James wouldn't be. Though he thought that was in bad taste.
"Both of you please don't." she said, looking up at Lucius. "I'll talk to you later okay?"
"See to it that you do Cissa." Lucius replied before he pushed to stand up, walking down towards his friends at the other end of the table.
"What was he talking about?" James asked immediately after Lucius left. "Why did he have to tell you he wrote his father?"
Slowly she looked down at her plate and sighed, shaking her head. "It...look I'm not going to lie to you..." she said, looking up at him, deciding to tell the truth. "He's writing to his father to see if he could marry me instead. Look its not like I don't like you, I do you're a good guy but...I'd always imagined marrying Lucius..."
At her words James stiffened, shaking his head. "You don't want to marry me. I get it." he said, starting to push to stand up. "Don't worry about coming to Quidditch."
Grabbing his wrist to make him stop, Narcissa shook her head. "Frankly? No I don't. I do want to give this a try if I can't be with Lucius. You're a nice guy...but we're still fifteen. Lucius has agreed to give it two years. He won't interfere...well at least I hope not, he can be unpredictable at times. But for our last two years I want to try with you."
"And at the end of the two years? After we graduate?" he asked, looking down at her.
"We decide then. If I still don't love you than...than I'm sorry but I won't lie...I will run away with Lucius, marry him. If we fall in love then I'll be with you."
Taking his hand back James moved to sit back down facing her this time. "So let me get this straight. You're trying me out for two years, potentially wasting two years of my life?"
Narcissa shook her head, shifting on the seat to face him. Reaching and taking his hand, squeezing it slightly. "We don't have to call it wasting. Don't you want to try with me?"
"You know I do."
"Then try. You knew I love Lucius...it can't fade over night."
"But how do I compare to that? How do I even begin to?" he asked, looking down at their hands. "Maybe Sirius was right. You'll pick him every time...maybe its best I discover this now."
"You don't know that. If you want to try than I am willing to. I really don't think Lucius can make our marriage contract disappear, as much as he likes throwing weight behind the Malfoy name. So I do think we'll have two years. If you want to try...here I am, ready to try. It doesn't have to end in me picking Lucius. I could pick you. He's agreed if thats my decision he'll accept it."
It took a moment for him to answer, he was attempting to process everything. Finally looking back up at her he nodded. "Alright. I might get hurt doing this...but alright. If I don't try this I might regret it. Might regret it either way."
She smiled a bit and nodded. "Besides, we can mutually decide we don't want to do this. It's not like I'm the only one in this. If you meet someone...that's completely your choice too. We'll figure this out as we go along. It's all still...pretty new."
James nodded, reaching out to cup her face and leaning to brush his lips against hers just lightly before he leaned back. "Sure. We'll see how this goes. So...Quidditch on Thursday? Six o'clock?" he asked.
And she nodded. "I'll be there. I cannot promise to switch my allegiance to the Gryffindor team you know..."
"Ah yes. But, my dear, the Slytherin team does not have me as their seeker." he said with a grin before turning back to the table.
She giggled and shook her head, glancing at him. "You have quite a big head Mr. Potter."
"It isn't unjustified. Just you watch."
"Oh I will."
:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:
A/N: Fin. For this chapter anyway.
As always, read and review, let me know what you think of this chapter. I haven't decided if Narcissa will end up with Lucius OR James. I'm just not sure, I keep going back and forth. I am at heart a Lucissa fan, they are just too perfect for one another for me and have such an amazing bond. But, James and Narcissa might be interesting. Hmm...