Part 4

"Jessica sent me a message from the class. He had interrupted the archaeology lecture and began rambling incoherently. Apparently Professor Zale tried to get him to calm down and take a seat, but he was out of control. I came to the class and brought him to my office. That was when I called you." An older black man in a standard duty uniform stands beside his desk in the large office at Starfleet Academy.

Frowning, Beverly briefly glances at the professor as she scans Picard, perched in the office chair behind the professor's desk. "Thank you, Todd. I'm glad you did. I'm sorry for the commotion."

"It's no problem. I was just worried. Is he alright?" Todd, a geology professor at the Academy, watches Beverly press a hypospray to Picard's neck.

"I cannot believe the trash they are teaching these cadets!" mutters Picard bitterly, crossing his arms in the chair. "Professor Zale should be fired. It's a gross injustice to the youth we are relying on to succeed us in representing Starfleet!"

Tossing Todd a wistful smile, Beverly puts a hand on Picard's shoulder. "Yes. I'll take care of him. Thank you."

Rubbing Jean-Luc's shoulder, Beverly smiles encouragingly. "Alright, Jean-Luc. Archaeology class is over. You can come hang out with me at the office."

Furrowing his brows, Picard shakes his head. "I thought I was going to…audit classes at the Academy?"

"School's out, honey," says Beverly softly, gently drawing Jean-Luc out of the chair. "Come on, we're going to go to Medical."

Puzzled, Picard shakes his head as Beverly leads him across the office.

"What happened?" Tal George, Beverly's second and right-hand inquires, hovering around outside Beverly's office door.

"He's been a bit depressed since the medical leave," admits Beverly, arms folded across her chest as she talks in a hushed tone to her most trusted officer. "Losing command of the Enterprise was a huge blow. I'm not sure what he'll do now. But, I thought he might enjoy exploring the Academy. I figured it'd keep his mind active attending lectures and chatting with cadets and faculty. I guess he got really upset at the lecture this morning and went off on a tangent. It was totally out of character. He doesn't usually go off like that."

"Has he been stable?" Tal inquires, peering in through the glass walls to see Picard awkwardly pacing Beverly's large corner office.

"For the most part," answers Beverly, her eyes following Tal's in through the glass walls to observe Picard shaking his head and palming his face. "He has his good days and his bad. Today is exceptionally bad."

"What can I do?" offers Tal, turning to Beverly.

Letting out a long exhale, Beverly leans against the glass wall of the office. "I was gone an hour and he was driving my staff crazy. I have a Command meeting in twenty minutes. This is totally outside the scope of your duties, but is there any chance you could keep an eye on him for a couple hours?"

Grinning, Tal nods easily. "Of course, Beverly. I'm happy to, as a friend."

Stepping forward, Beverly breathes a sigh of relief, squeezing Tal's elbow. "Thank you so much, Tal. I appreciate it."

Resting his hand on her shoulder, the tall doctor smiles easily. "Any time. Go on. Don't worry. Your…Jean-Luc is in good hands."

Smiling, Beverly takes a step back. "Thanks, Tal. I'll get back as soon as I can."

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"You really didn't need to do this. This is supposed to be your shore leave," states Picard, somewhat embarrassed as Wesley hands Will Riker the last of several trunks and cases from the storage room.

"Nonsense," Riker replies casually. "It's no trouble. We came to visit with you."

"And Mom wanted your stuff out of storage and brought to her place," shrugs Wesley, lifting a large trunk into his arms.

Frowning, Picard lifts a travel case from the floor. "Yes. Seems I can't do anything for myself anymore. First I lose my ship, then my independence."

Pausing by the door with a large case in his arms, Riker regards Picard in concern. "What do you mean?"

Rolling his eyes, Picard waves him on. "Never mind."

"The Irumodic Syndrome?" Riker presumes. Deanna had told him about the diagnosis and the former captain's progress from her chats with Beverly over subspace. And, of course, Riker had learnt immediately when Picard had lost commission of the Enterprise. He had instantly contacted Picard to inquire of his well-being. Now, as the Titan undergoes repairs at McKinley, they are visiting with Picard and Beverly for the day. Deanna had insisted that she see her friend as soon as possible, and check on the former captain. Deanna had been concerned about both Beverly and Picard since Picard's diagnoses. Beverly had asked Wesley to retrieve Picard's personal items that she hadn't personally collected from the Enterprise from storage and bring them to her apartment so they could sort through it.

Grimacing, Picard averts his eyes to the ground. "Damn disease is infuriating. Beverly thought it'd be a good idea for me to audit some lectures at the Academy. It sounded rather interesting, so I sat in on an archaeology lecture the other day. I got in to a heated argument with the professor, and some of the students. Another faculty member, a friend of Beverly's, asked me to come sit in his office for a while. He called Beverly and she came and she gave me something to calm down and took me back to her office. I…I was quite irritable and I didn't have my wits about me. She had to have her assistant babysit me while she was in a meeting all afternoon."

Wesley glances uncertainly between Picard and Riker. "I don't get it, sir. You seem perfectly normal."

Smiling bittersweet, Picard huffs. "For today."

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"Well, looks like you're getting settled in here nicely," remarks Will, pausing to watch Wesley adjust the chair behind the small desk he had finished setting up for Picard in the living room of Beverly's apartment. Wesley had stationed the desk by Beverly's desk to overlook the picture windows, and set up Picard's computer on top of it. Beverly had thought it'd be nice for Jean-Luc to have his own little workspace to read, write and send correspondence. She had taken to working from home some days in her home office, and she thought it would be good for him to have his own little space in the living area. Beverly and Deanna had gone for a walk to get out and to get some groceries to make a homemade dinner, so Will, Wesley and Jean-Luc had been setting up the workspace in the living area and unpacking Jean-Luc's trunks and travel cases.

Frowning, Picard sets a couple paper books on top of the desk. "I always pictured this differently. When Beverly and I are finally together, we're married and we have a family."

Letting out a long breath, Riker strokes his beard. "You can't have that now?"

Scoffing, Picard shakes his head, leaning back against the desk. "It's not fair to Beverly, for her to marry a man with a fatal disease, to consider bringing a child into the world knowing she'd have to raise it alone."

"You're wrong, sir," Wesley states confidently, walking around to stand in front of Picard. "Mom loves you. And, she's lost a husband before. She knows what it's like to be a single mother."

Swallowing hard, Picard nods soberly. "I just don't want her to experience that pain again."

"What Wesley means," Riker begins cautiously. "Is that the two of you are already in love. If you want marriage and children, why not ask her if that's something she'd consider? We all only have finite amount of time here in this universe. You might as well spend it with the ones you love."

Ruminating on his former First Officer and long-time friend's words, Picard nods solemnly. "Perhaps you're right."

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"He seems quite well tonight," remarks Deanna, sipping her tea on the sofa in the living area of Beverly's apartment.

Perched next to Deanna on the sofa, Beverly smiles against the rim of her tea mug. "He was looking forward to going out with Will and Wesley for a drink with some of the crew of the Titan. He doesn't socialize often."

It had been one of the best days Beverly had had in a long time. Her son is home for two weeks, and Beverly wants to soak up every minute with Wesley. Visiting with Will and Deanna today had been a treat. She had missed her friends terribly. Their visit had proven a welcomed distraction for Jean-Luc, who had been looking forward to seeing his old friends, as well. Wesley and Will had helped Jean-Luc get his belongings all unpacked, and it had been nice for him to chat and get up to date on what was happening on the frontlines. They had asked Picard to go out with them for a drink after dinner with a few crew from the Titan, Will thinking Jean-Luc might enjoy the company. Beverly had been thrilled to catch up with Deanna throughout the day, and grateful that Jean-Luc was socializing and focusing on positive things.

"He is…a little despondent, frustrated. I think it's difficult for him. He was on the frontlines, commanding the Federation's flagship, and now he doesn't have a role. He lacks….purpose, value," comments Deanna, trying to add perspective from her assessment of Jean-Luc's feelings.

"That's not entirely true," retorts Beverly defensively. "He doesn't have a job right now. That doesn't mean he doesn't have purpose. He's more than a Starfleet officer. His value comes from more than his career. He's a wonderful man and he has value to his friends and family."

Putting her hand on Beverly's arm, Deanna nods empathetically. "I know that, Beverly. I'm saying that's how he feels right now. He's frustrated, and anxious, uncertain about his future. Uncertain about your future."

"What do you mean?" Beverly presses, setting her mug on the coffee table in front of them.

"Will said he was embarrassed when they were moving all his things in here," admits Deanna. "Sometimes he feels helpless. And he feels guilty because you're starting this romantic relationship knowing that his days are limited. He wants to get married and have children, but he doesn't think it'd be right to put that burden on you knowing he could die shortly. Knowing the pain you experienced as a widow so young, he feels guilty knowing he'd cause you that kind of grief again when he eventually passes."

Entirely stunned, Beverly's eyes widen and her lips part, gaping at her friend openly. "Oh, Deanna. That…He…That's totally wrong. I love him. I'll always love him. I know it's going to hurt to lose him, but I can't not love him. "

Smiling in understanding, Deanna slides her hand down to squeeze Beverly's hand. "I know. I completely understand."

Biting down on her bottom lip, Beverly stifles a sob, tears starting to pool in her eyes. "It's so hard to watch him, Deanna. My heart aches. But, I love him. Unconditionally."

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"You had fun tonight?" Beverly turns off the light and curls up to Jean-Luc in bed as he folds the bed sheets over them.

"Yes. Looks like they have a very spirited crew on the Titan."Jean-Luc lays one arm over Beverly's bare stomach, drawing her in closer.

Beverly rests her head against Jean-Luc's shoulder, rubbing his bare hip. "Honey, did you tell Will that you wanted to get married and have children, but you were worried about leaving me a widow?"

Caught off guard, Jean-Luc freezes. "Yes."

Kissing his neck, Beverly strokes his hip. "Jean-Luc, I love you unconditionally. I will always love you. I know that if you should pass before me, you'll take a piece of my soul with you. But, I'd rather spend my time now loving you than trying to prevent the sorrow of tomorrow."

Sighing heavily, Jean-Luc kisses her hair, his hand warm on her stomach. "Is it…Is it responsible of me, to marry you, to consider bringing a child into this world, knowing that you'd be left alone?"

Drawing back, Beverly gazes into his eyes in the dimly lit room. "Jean-Luc, I'd consider it the greatest gift you could ever give."

Letting out a long exhale, Jean-Luc presses his lips to her forehead.

"If it's what you want, my love, we'll do it," whispers Beverly against his neck. "Even if you weren't sick, we all only have a limited amount of time. I'd rather spend our time together, making beautiful memories with our friends and family." Truthfully, Beverly doesn't know what's right. But, she knows she wants to make Jean-Luc happy. She wants to give him a family. She can't be certain how much time he has, be it a year, ten years, or thirty years. But, she wants to fill his time with love and laughter. She knows a baby would be good for both of them. And, eventually, the time will come when Jean-Luc will need more attention from her, and she'll give up her post at Medical and focus entirely on her family. But, for now, she can do this. She can make him happy.

Relaxing, Jean-Luc caresses across her abdomen, capturing her lips in a sweet kiss. "I love you, cherie."

"I love you," echoes Beverly, her hand ghosting over the soft flesh below his navel.

Grinning mischievously, Jean-Luc gently rolls Beverly onto her back against the bed. "If we're going to make a baby, I believe it's prudent to get in plenty of practice."

Giggling, Beverly slips her arms around his neck. "Hmmm…I like your thinking."