Disclaimer: The "Star Fox" videogame series is owned by Nintendo and Platinum Games. The "Sly Cooper" videogame series is owned by Sony, Sucker-Punch Productions, and Sanzaru Games. There are also many other videogame properties but rest assured, I credit their creators and developers for the wonderful IP's that inspired this story. Said story itself is a fan-based non-profit work of fiction written strictly for entertainment purposes only. Please support the official releases.
Game Over
By MaveriKat, Nanya, & Ego Dominus
Beta Read By Innortal
Chapter 4: In Love with a Stripper
Nodding his head to the Italian-American who motioned down the hall with his viridian boxing gloved hand, the Papetoonian headed towards Room 3 with the exotic dancer. "I can't believe Little Mac works here as a bouncer..." Fox murmured as he walked away from his fellow Nintendo Alumni as the boxer waved them off to one of the VIP rooms.
Grasping his hand a bit tighter to get the other fox's attention, the Latina vixen told him, "I'm still surprised he works for Nintendo. When I first saw him, I would've sworn he was one of the extras from Street Fighter."
Keeping in step with the Hispanic beauty, the currently grounded pilot chuckled at that comment. "Tell the truth, it probably would have been better for him. He was kept on the bench even longer than I was. He completely missed out on the Nintendo 64 and the Gamecube. The fact that he was able to come back better than ever is a miracle." Then as an afterthought he added, "Although you might have thought such from the Smash Bros. advertisements. Nintendo had been pairing Mac up with Ryu in a lot of the promotional material for the karate champ's debut in the series."
Considering that for a moment, the woman admitted, "Maybe." She came to a stop at the crimson-colored door at the end of the hall which was decorated with a golden number, '3' before reaching out with her free hand and pressing it against the red barrier. "Brace yourself, Fox. It's something else in there." With that said, she pushed her hand firmly against it, opening the door inward.
That comment made Fox raise an eyebrow. "Brace myself for... what..." he trailed off as he stared into the room. The red lighting that was cast over the three-tiered room danced most enticingly thanks to how it was decorated; the flames of the gargoyle-adorned fireplace seeing to that. He stepped onto the orange and crimson marble tiles of the room, just gazing about. While the base floor was designed for getting cozy, a step up was designed to be a private stage performance with a brass pole coming straight up into the ceiling and a crushed cranberry-colored leather couch for him to recline on. His eyes practically bugged out when he saw what lay at the top though. "This place has a hot-tub!?"
Smiling as she saw the sheer shock and awe that went through her fellow vulpine, Carmelita nodded her head. "That it does. However, I found out the hot-tub is by appointment only. You have to call in advance to get it set up for the night."
"...Nuts..." was all Fox could say to that; that could have been pretty awesome too. His right ear twitching as he heard the door creak within the doorframe as it closed, he turned about to the beautiful woman once more. "So tell me, Carmelita. How do we start things off?" he asked quietly. Turning from her, the canid pilot chuckled nervously. "Never done anything like this before. I have no clue where to begin," he admitted with a bit of embarrassment.
There was something comforting to Carmelita about the tone of this particular visit. It was clear to her that Fox didn't have the experience of Cloud, nor the drive to take control of the situation. She could play things slow, steady, or hot and fast... she was the one in control. The knowledge of that sent a sensation of pleasure sizzling down her spine, and a slow smile spilled across her features.
"Take a seat." Her voice was a low purr as she gestured to the recliner in the corner. Much to her delight, Fox ducked his head and nodded, quickly slinking to settle back. She waited until he was adjusted, and then let herself stalk towards him, throwing the height of her heels into the sway of her hips so that when she stood before him, his breath was already caught in his chest, his eyes wide and full of appreciation for her form.
"What do you need me to—" She brought one gloved finger out, pressing it over his lips. In doing so, she leaned forward so that her ample cleavage wiggled in his face. His puckered lips against her finger were a sweet tease.
"Just sit back and enjoy the show," she whispered with a kind tone. The music was a soft, pulsing tempo in the background, and she could feel it thrumming through her bones, into the center of her being. She let that pulsing beat spill out through her hips, her hands coming to the recliner so that she could lean over Fox. In doing so, she caught his wrists, pinning them lightly to the arms of the chair. Full control, perfect mobility.
Even she had to admit that this was pretty hot.
Her hips gyrated forward, the leverage of her hands on the recliner arms giving her the ability to spill her body forward–she balanced precariously on her high heels for a moment before bringing her knees up to slide along either side of Fox's. Beneath her he gave a small, low sound. Her new position put her breasts in his face, and her hypnotically swaying pelvis hovering a few inches above his already saluting prick as it tented his pants. As the tempo picked up, she dropped her body forward, so that the heat of her body laced against his own, and he could feel her fur like a ghost of a promise for touch against him.
"Do you like this?" A slow, sultry smile crossed Carmelita's features and her answer came in the form of the heat spilling from Fox's gaze. When he nodded slowly, she rewarded him by dropping her body further, so that he could feel the weight of her curves and the warmth that spilled through her skimpy outfit against his crotch. He actually let a small sound out, victory to Carmelita's ears, and his fingers against the recliner flexed.
But he didn't break her hold on him to reach for her.
"Keep your arms still," she murmured the words, trusting the compliance that he radiated from beneath her. After a moment of letting enough blood rush to his brain to understand her command, she lifted her hands from his wrist, moving to use his chest as a point to steady herself. Doing so gave her the ability to slide fingers upwards in a massage, working against his shoulder as she dropped her body down against his again. Another sound spilled from his chest, and she pulled herself back slowly, so that she was once more standing in front of him just as the first song came to an end.
As the beat of the other picked up, she turned around–fingers ran through her thick hair, letting it fall and brush against her back–her hips swayed, tail working gently. When she lowered herself again, it was so that Fox could feel the fullness of her ass against his pelvis... and only their clothes kept them from touching.
His eyes going wide as he felt the full weight of her foxy posterior atop his lap, the Papetoonian vulpine released a small trill that started in his chest and worked its way up his throat. He threw his head back into the backrest of the recliner and reflexively bucked up; the action causing the woman to bounce on his lap and cause her otherwise free breasts to sway from the motion. "Oooh... damn..." he whispered hotly, a shiver going through his spine, the signals sparking from his brain on through to the tip of his tail. If he still had toes, he would have been clenching them in time with his fingers gripping the armrests.
Pleased to get such a reaction from the man, Carmelita's ears twitched as she noticed a note change in the song. A lascivious smile graced her muzzle as she knew she could work with it; she was professionally trained in dancing thanks to her previous works. And so as she leaned back, she purposely pressed her hips forward, effectively putting herself on display for the male vulpine's pleasure with emphasis on her pelvis. And then she began to shake those hips, the sway and rattle to the beat of the song.
Honestly, she was glad that with the way she was sitting, she was facing McCloud. She might have been working as an exotic dancer, but she didn't want someone to get the full view of her twerking... even if they were obviously feeling the effect of it. That's it, baby... squirm for mama, she thought with a bit of devious glee. Whereas before she was naught but the puppet on Cloud's strings, now the Latina beauty was the one in control. And being honest with herself, she found such was a rush all its own.
"Yeah, baby... you like that?" the vixen cooed as she continued to add a sway to her hips, using the gyrations to grind her–admittedly generous–booty atop Fox's pelvis; grinning as she could feel him fully tented within his green slacks. She had to admit, he was rather impressive in that regard. While the male vulpine didn't have the intimidating mammoth that Mr. Strife had been hiding within his ebony leathers, there was certainly more to the man than most. Such made her actions all the sweeter to do.
Nodding his head firmly, Fox didn't trust himself to answer verbally. All he could do was nod his head for a few moments, hoping the woman would get the picture. She was just so gorgeous, the way her lips puckered in a mock pout were making his heart race within his chest. "Aww, c'mon, baby. Don't you want to tell me yourself? Use your big boy words now... I know you're a big, strong boy..." to emphasis the point, she pressed herself down purposely, allowing him to get the sensation of what she had to offer.
That did it. "YES!" the currently grounded pilot managed to bark out. "Yes, yes! Miyamoto almighty, yes!" He knew he was probably running at the mouth in a way that was less than flattering for his own image but he didn't care. The sensations she was sharing with him were incredibly, the pleasure-centers of his brain sparking wildly, setting his nervous system alive in most wonderful ways. Again, he so wished he could curl his toes.
Smirking now, Carmelita went in for the kill. "Then maybe you could show some..." she smacked her lips, pausing for dramatic effect. "Appreciation of your own?" Internally, she winced at how that sounded. She had meant to be sultry but the words themselves? Dios mio, I sound like some gold digging whore... she thought irritably. Definitely something she needed to work on, if only for her own sake. She quickly turned about on his lap, grinding his crotch beneath her as she turned, both to give him a wonderful view of her backside... and hopefully hide the expression of shame she knew was likely showing on her face from such words.
It took Fox a moment of blinking his eyes for his mind to reboot from the very pleasurably twist but he realized what she meant. "Oh! OH! Right, right..." he chuckled nervously as he brought his right hand to his side, feeling for the Giant Wallet. "So sorry about that. A woman like you deserves something for her hard... er... no, not hard... that's me..." he mumbled, trailing off. "Erm... difficult?" he whispered softly before blinking his eyes, his eyes before his ears perked right up. "Yes! You deserve something for your difficult work!"
Carmelita had to laugh; a sound that was a lovely, melodious tone. Truth be told, there was just something about his naivety that she found charming. He was definitely easier to deal with than Cloud. The soldier may have been an excellent tipper, but this handsome vulpine was allowing her the chance to explore things at her own pace. Something which allowed the Hispanic beauty to realize, she could actually be good at this job. "Then what are you waiting for?" she finished with a small churr, leaning forward and raising her tail, giving the pilot an excellent view of her thong-clad ass.
The furry pilot's green eyes practically popped out of their sockets at the sight; a moan escaping her lips as the motion pressed her crotch back down on his hips too. His member throbbing with heat and need within is clothes, the Papetoonian knew he had to do something! This woman was making him feel things that...
That...
...
Well, shit... Fox mentally cursed. I can't remember the last time I felt like this. Still, he had an idea of what she would like. So freeing his wallet from his pants pocket, the vulpine male opened it. He held it over her backside, right above her rear before tilting it to the right. The twist of his wrist caused the embroidered bag's contents to spill out, allowing it to rain gold; the effect also making the Latina's butt cheeks jiggle as the coins comprised of precious metal made contact and bounced off or rolled to her sides.
The first coin that fell made her smile–the second brought a trill of delight through her senses... but as they continued to fall, Carmelita found herself slowly filling with a mixture of shock and awe. Not a few, not a dozen... but dozens of coins began to rain out against her plump rear, so many that she couldn't keep count... but clearly more than enough to pay for the dances that she'd done–more than enough to pay for a dozen more dances like them.
And yet the coins kept falling. Finally, Fox had to tilt the wallet back, because the heavy metal was pushing them from the chair, weighing down on them and making it uncomfortable for the pair to even think about sitting. Carmelita was stunned into a careful silence, and she only just managed to turn her head enough to look back at Fox. Had his fingers slipped? Had he really meant to dump out that much?
The expression that he gave her in return, one soft, careful, but glowing with appreciation told her that there had been no mistake. Her fingers moved about to slowly swipe over the mess of treasure and spill the gold coins onto the ground, clearing the chair enough so that they could actually sit comfortably against it again. Her mind continued to race over how many there were–and they were worth five dollars per coin! Her eyes darted, mentally working on a tally, and it seemed that Fox caught what she was doing because his voice came out small.
"I think that was around two hundred." Only a beat, before he queried, "Was that too much?"
Dulce María, José y el Niño Jesús! Her mind exploded–that was over a grand! Four digits! In one fell swoop, she'd gotten her four digits. He didn't realize it, but he'd just secured her job!
Suddenly, the vulpine woman was feeling very appreciative. Her eyes seemed to reflect that emotion, soft and smoky. A slow curve of a smile flitted across her lips, but this time it wasn't all tease. It was a sweet echo of promise. But what did she have to give up that could possibly pay for his generosity? Because it wasn't about the amount of money–it was clearly about the fact that he was so willing to give her this! He was so appreciative. So generous.
He deserved the same generosity in kind. With that thought in mind, the woman shifted forward to press her mouth against his, so that her lips were brushing his own as she spoke. "So kind of you, baby. Tell me," her hands stroked a slow line down his chest, and she felt confident in her words. "What reward do you want for your kindness?" Her fingers slipped to his torso, massaging gently. "Anything you want."
She could see the excitement quickly spark across his features. Obviously, the gears in his head were turning at full capacity, spinning with obviously dirty and naughty thoughts. The Hispanic vixen knew that she would very well deliver on whatever he asked for too–within reason. There were still club rules she had to follow. It would really suck to have secured her job only to lose it because he asked for a blowie.
However, almost as soon as the spark of thrill and delight had shone in his eyes... it dulled slightly, as if reality was weighing on him. He seemed to deflate a little, looking away from her as if he was the one who should be ashamed. "This..." he sighed a little. "This is going to sound crazy... or maybe just stupid," he admitted with a slight murmur that she only caught thanks to her superior canid hearing. "But," he looked back up at her, those beautiful green eyes of his now filled with a mix of apprehension and hope. "Could... could you hug me?"
Now the woman had to blink her eyes in surprise. That was a surprisingly tame request. She offered him anything and he just wanted to embrace? "If that's what you want," she replied softly, smiling at the man to show she didn't judge him or anything. The danger motioned to the empty recliner that was now practically surrounded by an altar of gold coins. "Sit... and we'll hug," she whispered with a voice that was as sweet and soft as honeysuckle.
A tremble going through his spine that made his tail twitch, the male vulpine nodded his head to the female vixen in gratitude. "Thank you," he said as he went back down into the chair, squirming for a moment to get comfortable once more. All that gold had made him lose the groove he'd found earlier in it.
Once the man was settled, the woman walked back over to her fellow vulpine, Carmelita made certain that as she stepped forward in her heels that her hips gave a most sensual sway. Climbing up into the chair with him, the red fox beauty straddled the cape fox male, her knees coming down at either side of his hips. She leaned forward, allowing his face to rest within her cleavage as she wrapped her arms around his head. "Gracias, mi generoso salvador," she whispered softly to him as she kissed the top of his head, embracing him in a rather affectionate manner.
Although he was surprised by just how intimate the position she took to him him was, Fox reveled in it. She was so soft, so warm... she felt heavenly against him and smelled absolutely divine, an aroma that got his heart pumping. Raising his arms to hug the vixen around her waist in return, he closed his eyes and just drank in all the sensations of her body against his. It was just what he needed. Soft, sweet sensuality, and a sense of security he hadn't felt since...
Krystal...
With a powerful clench suddenly grasping tightly within his chest, Fox hugged the Latina beauty tighter. He pressed his face against her body, as if trying to hide from her view... if not from reality itself. As much as he didn't want it to, the memories and thoughts he'd kept buried within, that he'd managed to suppress with immense amounts of alcohol and isolation were flooding back to him. No matter how hard he tried to fight it, all the times he had with the blue Cerinian vixen, good and bad assaulted his mind. The shared kisses, the embraces, the sweet nothings they'd whisper, the long nights of just lying in bed together as they talked for hours whether before or after making passionate love.
Things he... he would never have again.
It was more than he could bear.
While Carmelita hadn't thought much of how the embrace had tightened to where it bordered on being slightly painful, she had become alarmed as she felt a wet sensation start from between her breasts and only increase. "Fox?" She whispered softly, suppressing the worry she could feel rising in her voice and along the back of her neck. When he didn't answer, she spoke again, getting slightly louder, "Fox? Are you all right? Speak to me."
Craning his head back, the male vulpine's eyes remained closed, but she could see the tear streaks on his face; the moisture on her own chest fur as well. The male fur wasn't breathing, trying to control the sob that he knew would otherwise flow forth. As such, he didn't say anything, merely focusing his efforts on trying to get ahold of himself and the traitorous memories that taunted him with better times long-since past. Finally though, he opened his mouth, inhaling suddenly with an almost violent jerk of his body.
Now the woman was genuinely worried. She practically jumped off his lap, rolling out of the chair over the right armrest so she could stand by his side. "Fox? Fox!" she shouted, her right hand caressing his arm as her left hand gently shook his right shoulder. "McCloud! Please! Speak to me!" she commanded firmly, giving him another shake, trying to break him out of whatever mental fugue had overtaken him.
It was as if someone had flipped a switch. Just as the memories he'd tried to forget had crashed back to the forefront of his mind, they receded as if they'd never been. Sitting back into the chair for support, the Papetoonian vulpine trembled slightly. His left hand came up to rub his eyes. "I... I'm sorry..." he whispered to her in apology. "That... I had no idea... you're so beautiful... it felt so good..." he rambled, trying to share a thousand thoughts at once and unable to be as coherent as he could have been. "I'm sorry Krystal..."
"Carmelita," she whispered.
Lowering his hand quickly, the man rose his head up at the woman's voice, as if someone had run of jolt of electricity through him. "What?"
"My name," she softly told him. "Is Carmelita, not Krystal..."
"I... I know that... I didn't mean..." shaking his head, the male fox exhaled slowly. "I'm sorry," he murmured, looking entirely lost and confused to the Hispanic vixen. She couldn't believe the complete reversal. Before he'd been nervous but very receptive of the teasing and the dancing... but now he seemed incredibly withdrawn and unsure of himself. Very apologetic too.
There was obviously a lot more to this than met the eye. "Fox..." she said his name slowly to get his attention. When he turned his gaze towards her once more, her fingers gently gripped into his shoulder, kneading the muscle hidden beneath his dark cranberry collared-shirt. "Are you going to be all right?" she asked him with genuine concern. "If you need, I can go get you a glass of water. Maybe a towel if you want." She gave him a smile, trying to show him that she wasn't upset by his actions. "After all, you paid for the hour, right?" she offered jokingly, trying to ease the tension she knew was filling the man.
Despite himself, a small chuckle escaped the man's lips. "No... that is to say, no thank you. I'll be okay. I'll be okay," he repeated as if trying to convince himself more than her. The male fur looked up at her, a pleading look in those moist viridian orbs. "Just... stay with me for now. I... I need the company. Please..." he asked in quiet voice, the tone one that practically bordered on begging for the woman to not go anywhere.
Nodding her head in response, Carmelita focused on gently massaging his shoulder in emotional support with her left hand as her right reached over to gently cup his chin, helping him in holding her gaze with her. Honestly, he looked exhausted, so different from when they first entered the room. And unlike the Latina vixen herself when she finished up with Cloud, this wasn't the good kind of fatigue either. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked. "I'm not sure I can do much, but I can lend an ear." She flicked her left triangular one for emphasis.
Blinking his eyes as he considered that, the man just studied the smile the woman was giving him. Such sincerity, he thought as he drank in her expression, her beautiful face surrounded by a frame of gorgeous navy blue locks of hair. Taking a deep breath, the canid pilot steadied his nerves as best he could before he finally told her, "My girlfriend Krystal left me five years ago."
That little bombshell made the woman stiffen slightly. Oh dear, she thought with worry. The furry woman could already tell this wasn't going to be a good story. Still, Carmelita had promised a sympathetic ear and she wasn't going back on her offer. "Did she tell you why?"
Again, the male vulpine gave a nod of his head. "Work... my job hated her..." he practically spat. "Always did. Did everything they could to break us up. Eventually they succeeded." He closed his eyes and turned to look away from the woman, his right hand coming up to run over the bridge of his muzzle. "The worst part? It was obvious she still loved me. Hell, she even said she was breaking up to protect me. I... I lost the woman I loved because she thought the job would be more important to me in the long run than waking up to her bright smile and warm laugh every morning..." opening his eyes, he looked immensely depressed. "I couldn't understand how she thought so little of herself. I loved her with all my heart... and yet she couldn't believe the importance she meant to me. Didn't think that love was more than enough for me... believed that money would be more meaningful than her."
He snorted. "I wouldn't have cared if I became a has-been and worked nine-to-five just to get by. As long as I had her by my side, I could have faced whatever the world threw at me. Was more than willing to..." he leaned forward in the chair, burying his face in his hand. "Would have been glad to, as long as I had her with me..."
Soft sympathy washed over the vulpine's body and her voice came out even gentler than before. "Fox, I know that life doesn't always turn out the way we want it... I mean, hell," she gave the man a wry smile. "I never had any intentions of working in a place like this–I always thought that I'd have more games, work in movies, or whatever was in line for me. Sometimes, you have to let go of the past and learn to make the best of your situation." She could tell that her words weren't the perfect comfort that he needed, but she was hoping that she could do something to help that. She leaned forward, letting her mouth brush gently against his cheek.
"Listen... I know I can't erase your past, but maybe I can give you something in the here and now to take your mind off of it." Her mouth skimmed from his cheek to his lips, and she pressed a kiss there that was full of all of the words and comfort that she couldn't say. For a moment, it was just soft tenderness, her lips working against his own until he opened up and let her taste the flavor of his tongue. After a moment, however, she let her body spill forward against his–there was still another song.
There was still time to make sure that he got everything that he'd paid for.
Her hips gave a slow, careful sway. She gave Fox every chance to tell her to stop, that he was done... but his lips were pulling into the softest of smiles, and it was clear that he wanted her to carry on with exactly what she was doing.
Carmelita let her hands run down along her body, standing in front of the vulpine for a few moments, working her hips, letting her breasts jiggle–but then she wanted to touch him. She spilled down on the chair–face-to-face. She wanted to be face-to-face, to be the only thing he could see. Her arms wrapped around his neck and her pelvis came down to grind perfectly against his own, her hips matching pace with the quick beat of the music, her head falling back so that navy blue locks cascaded against her shoulders, brushing her breasts.
It was a sight that made the male vulpine's breath catch in his throat. He looked at her with a wide-eyed gaze, drinking in the sight of her beauty. His arms rising up behind her, he embraced the woman once more around her torso, gently pulling her to him. His eyes closed as he rested his face along her cleavage once more, his nostrils flaring as he inhaled her scent, just enjoying the warmth and the intimate contact. It was refreshing to be with a woman again. No, she wasn't Krystal. No one could ever be the blue Cerinian beauty.
But good God, Miyamoto almighty... did Carmelita make him feel like everything was going to be all right.
"Thank you," he whispered as he continued to nuzzle, a soft murr sound reverberating in his chest as the vixen continued to grind down atop his hips with her own; a stirring returning to his loins as his foxy cock began to rise to the occasion once more. It really had been a long time since he was with a woman like this. Even better, with the initial shock and guilt having passed, he could admit that he did enjoy this. "Thank you immensely, Miss Fox," he softly whispered his gratitude once more, feeling a great need to try and express how much he appreciated her willingness to be there for and do this for him.
A small smile gracing her beautiful features, the Hispanic dancer straightened up as she craned forward, causing the male vulpine she straddled to lean his head back. With his head out from between her breasts, the two were nose-to-nose once more, her brown orbs gazing into his emerald eyes. "You're immensely welcome, Mr. McCloud," she replied back sweetly, before sticking her tongue out and giving him a playful lick on his lips. The vixen giggled–a sound like a musical chime to Fox's ears–in response to the happy little moan he released. "Just revel in there here and now."
Blinking his eyes, the canid pilot gave the beautiful vulpine fur an inquisitive look. "But I am here... why wouldn't I—" he was silenced as the woman released her left arm from her neck and gently placed her index finger over his lips, softly silencing him.
She continued to look into his eyes, even as she slowly but surely worked herself atop his lap. "You're here, but I can see your mind wanting to drift. Perhaps some words of my father will help..." the Hispanic vixen slowly lowered her hand. When he didn't say a word, she explained, "There are some things in life you just can't do. You can't beat the IRS, you can't make a waiter see you until he's ready to take your order, and you can't go home again. What's done is done and the here-and-now is what matters." The Latina spitfire smirked. "And what you have right now is a sexy vixen who wants to make you feel better."
"You..." Fox gasped. "You certainly make a persuasive argument." Managing to smile, the Papetoonian pilot then added, "Even if I'm certain your father was quoting a book with that bit of advice, your own point at the end is more than meaningful. I am here and..." he bit his lower lip, groaning as she pressed down on him; his shaft throbbing so hard that he had to wonder if there really was a clothing barrier between them. Inhaling quickly, he managed to continue, "And here with you, my beautiful vixen goddess."
She raised an eyebrow at that. "Goddess? Oh, you flatter me, McCloud. However, I don't think I'm lady-like enough to deserve to be called that." She released the hold her arms had around his neck and brought both her hands to his cheeks, caressing them. "But you certainly are sweet to think of me like that." She craned her head in so that she was pressing her nose to his once more. "Thank you."
Carmelita kissed him again, although this time she was surprising to find that Fox had enough gumption to try and take a lead this time as his tongue attempted to dart into her mouth. Still, her own intercepted his and it became a duel of vulpine tongues, the fleshy appendages entwined as lips pressed firmly together, trying to explore one another's maws in a mix of affection and need. As the male's tongue managed to touch the back of her throat, she found herself moaning in pleasure as she curled her toes in delight.
Fox would have been curling his own toes, but that just wasn't a design function in his leg prosthetics. Instead, he settled for a throaty moan into their joined mouths as he bucked harder and faster up into the woman's hips as she straddled him, his hands coming down to massage the small of her back as he embraced her, just reveling in the touch of her fur beneath his fingers as he gently scratched and massaged. She felt wonderful, to his touch and it filled him with comfort and pleasure he hadn't known in a long time. God, she's so wonderful, so sweet, so per—
McCloud never got to finish that thought. His eyes widened in shock and horror as he was taken off guard by the traitorous actions of his body; the man trembling as he tried to arch his back and push himself up in the recliner. He had been feel a welling of pressure deep within him as the woman had straddled him, causing a wonderful tingling to radiate throughout his furry ball-sack. However, he suddenly felt like jolts of electricity were shooting through much of his body, coursing particularly through his thighs and lower abdominal, but all over. The contractions continued again and again, his member spasming within his pants in time with each pleasurable burst of his orgasm.
Feeling humiliated and ashamed, Fox could only look up into the woman's eyes, silently begging her for forgiveness. He couldn't believe he just came like that! Gritting his teeth in aggravation, he turned to look away from those sweet chocolate eyes. "Sorry," he murmured quietly... only to blink his eyes as he felt a hand touch his right cheek.
Turning the male vulpine's head so that he was looking back at her again, the vixen couldn't help but give the pilot a cocky grin. "So it was that good, huh?" She managed to query in a half-serious, half-joking manner. Seeing his vibrant green eyes look to the side, the woman gently stroked the man's cheek as she continued to straddle him. "Hey," she whispered softly to the man. "Look at me. Please. Look at me."
Biting his lower lip, the Papetoonian inhaled through the spaced between his upper set of teeth before his eyes turned to look back at the exotic dancer. Her smile was a kind one; her hand still gently caressing his cheek as she looked down upon him with kindness. Fox knew he was blushing through his facial fur as he could feel the heat of his face rising. "Sorry..." he whispered to him again. "You really are too good... you made me feel too good..." he exhaled in a sigh once more. "It caught me off guard."
"Fox," the woman said his name slowly. "It's all right," she told him in all seriousness. "I understand you've been dealing with a lot of stress. Probably far more than a person should be expected to deal with on their own. If I could give you a bit of relief, then what harm is it?" Left unsaid was that it gave her a bit of a giddy thrill. She didn't think herself capable of moving someone to... well... 'let it go' as it were. Logically, the Latina knew it had to do with what she told him, that his body just needed relief but in her heart? She liked to think that it was her beauty and skills that managed to make him orgasm. God knows he praised me enough, she thought honestly.
Calming a little when he saw the woman wasn't being judgmental about him being a bit of a, 'quick shot' then, the male fox managed to release a little laugh. "Thank you," the vulpine said in genuine gratitude. "I'm a bit sensitive right now."
Arching an eyebrow, the woman couldn't help but smirk. "I can tell."
Blushing immensely, the videogame actor murmured, "I meant sensitive as... emotionally," he said in all seriousness. "I know it's not all that manly or confident but it is how I feel. You're the first woman I'm able to genuinely relax around in years. That means more to me than anything else right now." Still, he did manage to smile again as he met the vixen's gaze with his own. "Although I'm not going to lie: you gorgeous looks are helping me immensely."
"Glad to hear it, Azúcar," Carmelita said as she lowered head hand. She sat back a little so that her plush rear was resting atop his thighs. "Is there anything else I can do for you? We still have a bit of time left..." her arms came behind her so her hands rested on his knees; the vixen's body leaning back as to press her hips forward, putting emphasis on her crotch for the man's viewing delight. "Anything else I can do for you?"
His eyes wide as he drank in the sight of the woman before him, Fox had to swallow; his throat having gone dry almost immediately at the impressive grace and beauty that was displayed so generously. "Well, I remember Lara said we were supposed to get a bottle of champagne. Could you retrieve it for me?"
Nodding her head, the Hispanic beauty she cooed, "I can do that for you, baby. Anything else? Anything at all? You did give me a very generous tip and I want you to feel like you're getting your money's worth." Although some would say being brought to orgasm was worth the price of admission, she felt wasn't worth the thousand dollars he'd so freely given her.
Nodding his head, McCloud was quick to say, "After that... could you tell them I'm going to pay for another hour? I want to give you the chance to earn some more." Mario gave him a friggin' Giant Wallet and told him to go nuts, so he was going to worship this woman with gold until she couldn't carry anymore!
Now the smile that graced Carmelita's face became far more mischievous. "Anything else you'd like? The customer is always right after all..."
"One thing..." the Papetoonian vulpine began blushing again, his white and gold facial fur going rather crimson. "Well... if you'd be so kind..." he couldn't help but cringe. "Would you be a dear and please get me a towel or something? I think need to clean up."
Despite herself, a chuckle reverberated in the vixen's throat. "I'd be glad to."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Sitting in the recliner, the blond Hylian felt tension rising within him. Oh sure, he could think of many people who would kill to be in a VIP room with a stripper... particularly a sexy one that they knew had the hots for them! But Link wasn't one of those people. Not because he didn't think Malon was absolutely gorgeous, oh no.
In Link's case, he just knew that if word somehow got to Zelda, he was screwed ten-ways-to-Sunday. His wife was a political figure for crying out loud! He could imagine the kind of scandal this could cause her. Sure, if he just hung out on the main floor he could have just claimed ignorance, insist that he was there as the designated driver. But no... Mario had to stick his overgrown Italian nose in his business and pay Malon for an hour.
An hour, the pointy-eared blond thought with growing dread. I have to make it an hour... with this beautiful... buxom...
...
...What was I thinking again?
Link gulped as Malon got on all fours and started to crawl towards him. Seeing the redheaded beauty's barely restrained tits sway side to side while she crawled towards him was a major turn on. He could envision himself grabbing her ass, squeezing her fleshy butt and...
And...
It was hard to think of anything but tapping Malon's ass at that moment, honestly.
Princess Zelda, Princess Zelda, Princess Zelda, was his mental mantra as the ginger Hylian came up between his legs. Rising up so that she was on her knees, his eyes went wide once again as he felt the immense weight of her mammaries over his lap; her bent arms out to her sides, her elbows resting on his knees. With the position she took, the pointy-eared blond was effectively pinned to the recliner.
"So, Link," the redheaded rancher currently working as a stripper cooed in a sultry tone as she gazed up at him, their blue eyes meeting–a genuine surprise such occurred considering she had her best assets on display to fight for his attention. The freckled beauty smirked as she craned her head back, allowing him to see the immense amount of cleavage on display thanks to the cut of her tight shirt. "Tell me. How has life been treating you since we last met?"
It took the blond a moment but he managed to squeak out, "Okay..." he brought his right hand up, turning his head to the side and coughing into it to clear his throat. His gaze reluctantly turning back to the Hylian woman on her knees before him, he managed to speak out in a steadier voice, "What I mean to say is we're doing okay. Zelda is running for the US Senate as California's Senator again. Governor Norm Al Villager's secretary Isabelle is giving her campaign a ha~aaaand..." he moaned as the woman's right hand which had been hidden underneath the expanse of her tit gave his member a caress through his leather pants.
"That sounds... fun," Malon noted dryly. "But doesn't that keep her away from you when she's working as a Senator?" The inquiry had a surprisingly hopeful tone behind it, as if the naughty ranch hand had an idea already form.
For his part, Link nodded and hissed through his teeth as the redhead's soft hand skillfully slid up to the waistband of his pants. "Y-yeah..." he managed to gasp out, feeling a bead of sweat pout down the right side of his head as he was pushing his mental fortitude to keep from falling to the siren's call of promised promiscuity. "She's usually gone for at least five months at a time. I lose her for nearly half a year when she's out working for the people." As an after-thought, he added, "Her career is also why she rarely gets much screen-time in the games. When she's working congress, she just not available for Nintendo's use."
Considering that, the pointy-eared redhead nodded her head, making the crimson locks of her hair bounce with the motion. "Must be lonely..." the country-raised exotic dancer mused as she ran her fingers over his stomach. "How do you put up with it?"
Trembling a bit as her hand gently scratched his at his six-pack abs as it slid underneath his green Tri-Force logo t-shirt, the elven male bit his lower lip. That felt way too nice. "It's not all bad," he admitted softly. "We talk every day, even if she only has her lunch break to do it. You should also know that when my wife's not around, I get to hang out with my little girl. Robyn is out with some friends at a party of her own tonight hence why we're not doing our usual daddy-daughter movie night..."
Malon smirked at that bit, and not just because of the paternal pride he showcased either. "Ah... so no one at home then..." she whispered hotly, the gently scratching of her fingernails circling around his belly button and dipping within in a rather suggestive fashion. "No one to be worried about you being out late... or even out all night."
Link could feel his skin going white as a sheet at the implications. "NO!" He cried out in a surprisingly high squeak. As she stared up at him with surprise, the Hylian had to cough again, to rein in his voice. "I mean, no, someone would miss me. Even if my girl is out at a party with some of her friends, Zelda is coming home tonight. I was going to meet up with her in the early morning hours after the guy's night we're holding for Fox. It's something of a tradition of ours."
Blinking her blue eyes once, twice, the woman tilted her head back to look up at the man in the recliner. "Tradition?" the freckled cutie asked with a sweet tone, her expression one of genuine intrigue. "What tradition would that be?"
A smile gracing his lips, the leather-clad sylvan replied, "Our early-morning reunion. Staying up to watch the sunrise, sharing what our days were like with one-another... I make us a really nice homemade breakfast and we share a shower before heading to bed for the day." That smile of his became a lopsided, silly grin. "And oh, her hands are so sweet in that shower. We give each other massages as we stand there, taking turns... she feels incredibly soft beneath my fingers while she has an exquisitely relaxing touch of her own."
The ginger Hylian just stared up at her fellow sylvan in awe. God damn, that was sappy, but at the same time...
Fuck me, I'm soaked.
Very few people knew that Malon was a romantic at heart. Growing up on the farm, well... it was difficult not to be when all you one to read were romance novels and watch Disney films when they weren't going to school or doing their chores around the ranch.
Still, despite how much she wished that could have been her, the former farmgirl knew could contain her jealousy, now wasn't the time to let such known. Oh no, she could be jealous all she wanted when she was at home in the shower. For now, she had purpose. Mario had paid well and she was supposed to make him feel good! "Sounds like you have lots of fun like that."
Nodding his head, Link told his friend, "We do. I have to admit, while the time we have to spend separated really sucks to deal with... it's proven to us that there's truth to the old saying: absence makes the heart grow fonder. When she finally returns home, I feel all that love I have for her go right to the forefront and I just need to embrace and kiss... her..." he trailed off, blinking his eyes as he felt a sudden jarring pain.
Yep, thinking of Zelda was now doing the exact thing he was trying to avoid in front of Malon.
Get a massive hard-on.
The elven ranch hand turned stripper stared went wide-eyed. "OH MY!" the ginger cutie cooed in delight as she could feel the heat of it from beneath her breasts, the wonderful pulse of his heartbeat managing to make its presence knowing through the layer of leather. Giving her fellow Hylian a smile of her own, she inquired, "Is that the Master Sword in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
Although it was meant as just a sensual tease, the pointy-eared blond couldn't help but twitch. "Like I haven't heard that one before..." Link said dryly. Good Naryu, he'd lost count of the times Midna opened up conversations with that line... particularly when Zelda was present.
The smirk on the freckled farmgirl's face widened. "Maybe he should say hello?" Malon cooed as she rubbed his pants, her fingers deftly sliding over the smooth leather.
That action made the pointy-eared blond gasp in shock. He rose forward in his sear, sitting upright in the chair as he released a loud cry of, "GAH!" He looked down at her with wide, blue eyes. "Muh-Malon!" he squeaked out; the woman's grip around his member perfect thanks to the very visible outline it made against his tight biker leathers. "You... you really..."
"Should get to work?" She offered sweetly, batting her eyelashes at him. "Why, of course I will! You did pay for a wonderful time," the buxom redhead replied in a most teasing manner before giving him a wink. "But the question remains, would you like me to offer you a traditional service or perhaps you're in the mood for something that's more, 'off menu' than we're normally allowed to serve the club's patrons?"
His body trembling, the Hero of Hyrule did his best to avoid answering the woman's rather suggestion inquiry. "Uh... ah-actualli~iieee..." he squeaked as her hand stroked up and down along his member through his pants at an increasing pace. "Mario wuh-was the one to pay for this! Not me!"
"So... anything goes, huh?" Malon smiled as she continued to work his dick over sensually with her loving grip. "If you want, we can even go all the way." She whispered to him. She wouldn't press the issue, but she sure as hell wouldn't complain about it if he did accept.
Besides, she knew it would be a secret to everyone if they did go that far. There were club rules after all and the girls tried to watch out for each other.
"We can't!" He yelped out. "You... me... I..." he brought up his left hand, trying to show the off the ring on his finger to her. "Married!" the elven blond cried out in protest.
Smiling sweetly at the married man, the farmgirl turned exotic dancer whispered in a soft, sultry tones, "And yet, here you are. Enjoying a Guy's Night out at a strip club... with one of your best female friends..." she finally released her grip of his member and brought her hands to either side of her tits and pressed them together, causing her impressive nipples to jut against the thin material of her shirt. "And we are friends, aren't we?"
His eyes going wide, Link tried to swallow to relieve a suddenly dry throat. "We... we are..." he replied slowly, feeling sweat trickle down his brow as his nerves worked themselves up. That smile on her face was way, WAY too sexy-cute for words. Even as she was now, she still reminded him of the young woman he got to know while working on Ocarina of Time.
Slowly standing up, Malon looked down at the Hero of Hyrule, offering him a beatific smile. "Well, I am a stripper. I should do my job, don't you think?" She winked and started spinning around slowly while shaking her freckled hips from side to side. Her impressing breasts offering an enticing wobble and jiggle with each movement she made.
Link could only stare and gulp as he watched her move. Naryu damn, but this was hot as hell. To see her move in such ways was insanely sexy. The gyrations of hips, the way the curves danced in the blue lighting of the room, it was...
Was...
...
Yes. Yes, that was indeed Malon's shirt in his lap.
The pointy-eared blond's blue eyes widened in shock as he saw the readheaded beauty's tits swaying freely now. "I... I... wuh... wha~aaaat...?" he sputtered out, his mind firing off neurons in every which way, making it difficult to focus on doing much else but staring at the sight of the gorgeous Hylian woman before him.
The ginger beauty smiled wider as she wrapped her arms beneath her breasts, pressing her impressive Hylian tits together. "What do you think, my sweet Link? These are one-hundred percent, all-natural, organic farmgirl..." she leaned forward, craning towards him as he tried to retreat into the chair's backrest. "It's all right, Link. You can feel them if you want... I won't mind at all. It's all right to touch back here."
So gob-smacked was the pointy-eared blond that his first instinct WAS to reach out. Yet, even as his hands came forward on their own accord, the man caught himself, his sight catching the glint of gold on his left ring-finger. It reminded him all too well about the vows he and Zelda made on their wedding day. "Malon... I..."
And then he found himself with solid handfuls of the ginger Hylian, the woman leaning forward and pressing the freckled skin of her massive mammaries into the palms of his hands. "Yes, you may."
Link couldn't help but gasp as he reflexively grasped and fondled her breasts. Any chances she was lying about how real they were disappeared as he squeezed those lovely elven tits himself. "...Yep..." he finally managed to whisper. "They're natural." Naryu DAMN! If he knew what could make them grow this big, he would have talked Zelda into trying it.
The blond loved his wife, but he sure as hell wouldn't have complained if her chest was larger like Lana's chest was.
Or Cia's...
Or Midna's for that matter.
Sticking her tongue out in a playful manner, the redheaded stripper then withdrew it, just grinning with pride at the man's reaction. "I told you so," Malon whispered and leaned in. "If you want, we don't have to go all the way. I can give you the best tit-fuck you've ever had in your life." Her voice was hot and sultry, full of the promise of immense, intimate pleasure.
The Hylian became speechless, much like the silent protagonist he always played. He didn't know how to answer that... heck, he knew he would have remained quiet on the matter had the redheaded seductress not closed the gap even further, raising her right leg forward. With it in position, she pressed her shin against the font of the chair and brought her knee up so that it pressed right against the leather-clad throbbing erection. "HIYAH!" he cried out in a manner that reminded both of them of his times on set.
Malon had to laugh. "Shall I take that as a, 'yes' Mr. Hyrule?" she winked one of her lovely blue eyes at him. 'Because I certainly think that's a definite yes."
"It... it..." Link gulped nervously as he looked up at the freckled farmgirl. How the hell was he supposed to answer that? Sure, he sure as hell WANTED to but he was faithful to his wife and... dear goddess trio, her breasts felt so good! He wondered what they'd feel like on his dick.
Fortunately... or unfortunately, depending on one's opinion, Link was saved from the temptations of adultery when he instead became victim to some of those brightly colored pills that Mario always offered him at their parties. While he never minded a couple as they really were great stress relief as well as one-hundred percent organic... the fact was they were designed for human consumption and not Hylian. He also happened to partake in them more than usual this evening.
Especially since Mario kept popping them into his friends' drinks at Fox's home in an effort to just liven everyone up!
It brought on a most... interesting hallucinatory reaction for the pointy-eared blond.
"Hey!" he could hear a voice suddenly chime out.
Blinking his eyes, the Hero of Hyrule began looking around wildly. "Did... did you hear that?"
The redheaded stripper blinked her eyes in surprise at the sudden inquiry. "Hear what? Some noise?" She considered what her friend could have been referring to and suggested, "There is a bouncer outside. I don't think he's near our door but maybe you heard that."
"Hey!"
"That!" Link cried out. "Did you hear that?"
Stepping back, now the elven farmgirl-turned-exotic dancer was becoming rather confused by the man's actions. "Hear... what?" she questioned slowly. She sure as heck knew that her ears picked up nothing besides the music being pumped into the room that time.
And that's when he saw it. That horrible, annoying ball of winged light! "Hey! Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Look! Look! Listen! Look! Hey!"
Something in the Hero of Hyrule snapped–the sound almost audible as it originated from inside the man's skull. A glimmer shined form behind his eyes before he released a might, "Hiyah!"
Stepping back a few steps to give herself some room, Malon simple stared in confusion as Link suddenly sprang forward from the recliner, standing straight up and yelling like he did in the games. "What in the world..."
"HIYAHHHHH!" He screamed at the top of his lungs as he stormed forward... only to end up tripping over the carpet and falling down in as graceful a manner as a drunken polar bear on a unicycle atop a ice-skating ring.
"Link!" The redheaded dancer cried out, becoming genuinely worried now. Just what happened to him!? "Link! Calm down! What's wrong with—"
The woman was cut off as the leather-clad Hylian jumped back up to his feet with a mighty, "HUT! Hi-yah! HIYAH!"
Blinking her eyes in shock, the farmgirl now found herself the one utterly speechless.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Oh yeah, baby... dat's-a de way. Dat's de way dat Papa Mario likes it..." he chuckled as he had the purple-tressed succubus sitting on the barstool with him, pressing her rear against his crotch while his back was up against the bar counter for support. Even as he got an impromptu lap-dance, the Italian held a glass of tequila in his hand. "Who's my baby girl?" he asked her in a hot, lustful voice.
Looking over her shoulder at the mustached man, Lilith winked at him. "Pay me the right amount and I'll be whatever you want me to be," she purred at him with a sultry tone. She had one of the, 'sugar daddies' at her disposal and she sure as hell was going to make the best of it!
Rolling her eyes, the ponytailed brunette behind the bar told them, "Could you please not do that here? Can't you two just go to one of the proper seating areas for a table dance? Or just pay for time in the back?" She motioned to the crimson-winged succubus. "And you, Lilith. You should be on the floor, strutting your stuff. You know that Duke gets pissy when you girls just sit at the bar when you should be working."
"Damn right I do," came the call from the open door at the end of the bar. There was a beat of silence before the voice of Nukem himself proclaimed, "And it's Richard, damn it!"
Hearing that, the Italian icon of Nintendo tried to argue, "But Lara, sweetheart! Lilith-baby here IS makin' de money!" Placing his drink back down on the bar counter, the man then felt for his Giant Wallet inside the pocket of his Bermuda shorts and withdrew a large handful of gold. With the shimmering currency in hand, the short man then reached his arm around her waist, offering the twenty-or-so coins to the violet-tressed succubus. "See? She is a working! She's-a pleasin' her sugar daddy nicely!" He then leaned forward and kissed her spine just below her shoulders and beneath her wings. "Who's your sugar daddy?"
Lilith cooed and smiled at the rather affectionate gestures of the older but still virile man she was sitting with. "Keep this up and you can be my sugar daddy any time you want!"
Duke's scoff echoed from his office. "Just keep yourself from jumping his bones while you work here, Lilith. The rules are the rules for a reason!"
"Of course!" she chirruped to the man in the office. "I would never dream of breaking the club's rules..." she replied as her wings came around to accept the gold that Mario offered, making it seemingly disappear into nothingness as her familiars kept it safe for her. She then looked over her shoulder once more. "Of course, Mario IS the party animal, so maybe you should be telling him." She smirked as she ground her rear back, feeling his shorts-clad crotch pressing up along the crack of her ass.
Laughing, Mario called out, "I know'a de rules! But I also know how to bend 'em!"
Rolling her eyes, the British aristocrat-turned-philanthropist of adult entertainment told the mustached icon, "That's not something you should be bragging about, Mario." Her tone of voice was firmly, definitely imparting a warning to him. As much as they were friends, she wasn't about to let someone rough up any of the girls because of unchecked hormones.
"Tsk! I don't give a damn, so long as they don' outright break the rules. As long as they bring in my money, I can afford them a little leeway," the male voice of the club's founder called out from the main office. "Anyway, Lara, I need you to—"
Duke never got to finish that statement. Instead, he was interrupted by the loud battle cries of, "HUT! HIYAH! HIY~AHHHH!"
Needless to say, everyone in the main room dropped whatever they were doing, the people turning to at least look at the source of commotion. "What the hell?" Lilith asked as Link came crashing out through the door to the VIP area. The pointy-eared blond was looking back and forth, his eyes wild, before he noticed the stairs to the stage to his right.
"HIYAAAHHH!" the sylvan warrior cried out as he rushed up on the steps, running over the stage and causing the two women to have to cease their dance routines as he ran–or to be more precise, dodged–his way across the stage. "Hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut!"
The British archaeologist-turned-club owner was the first to gather her thoughts on just what was happening. "What the bloody hell?" Lara gasped at the rather out-of character actions of the blond. She knew him to be a rather calm and serious individual; this was NOTHING like him! As soon as she saw the topless, redheaded Hylian come out from the back door as well, the ponytailed brunette shouted, "Malon! What the hell happened!?"
Her arms crossed over her chest to give herself some decency, the crimson-haired woman raised her head to gaze towards the source of the voice. Seeing her female boss standing behind the bar, she shouted, "I DON'T KNOW!" She winced as she realized how loud she'd been before calling across the room, "I honestly don't know! I was dancing for him and then he started freaking out as he began seeing and hearing things! And now he's..." she tilted her head, motioning to the male blond on stage that was running circles around the redheaded Rayne and the blonde Setsuka. "Well... doing whatever the hell that is!"
Looking over and really studying the actions of his friend, Mario had to let out a little snort as the realization of what was going on his him like a sack of bricks. "Well... damn." He released a soft chuckle. "It's been awhile since I last saw Link trip balls hard like'a dat."
Her left eye twitching, the brunette immediately turned her attention to the mustachioed man at the bar. "You know what's going on?" Lara demanded of the Italian plumber. "Because if that drugged out elf wrecks this place and you're the reason why, you WILL be paying for it!"
"Damn right!" Duke shouted from his office. "I'll put a cap in both of their asses if this isn't resolved soon enough!"
Sighing as he realized he had to take a break from his, 'Mario Party' the raven-haired man told the pretty young thing sitting against him, "Lilith, sweetheart? You mind getting off'a me for a moment so I can explain things?"
Nodding her head, the violet-tressed infernal beauty replied, "Sure." Although she was a tad disappointed her stab at milking the sugar daddy for some of his sweet, sweet sugar was abruptly cut short, she complied with his request. After all, she was also curious as to why the man was... well...
"HIYAH!"
...That.
Now with the sexy succubus stripper off his lap, the mustached man reached into his left pocket this time. Feeling about inside of his shorts, he then pulled forth a prescription bottle filled with capsules that were a mix of the colors red, blue, and yellow. "For de record, it's-a not my fault de Fairy Boy can't handle a few brightly colored pills."
Taking the bottle from his hand, the British woman perused the label before gawking in horror as she realized the implications. "Jesus, Mario!" She shouted before turning her gaze back to the plumber/doctor. "Are you telling me that you drugged him!?"
Bringing his hands up before him in a warding gesture to try and get the woman to relax, he firmly told her, "Easy! Easy now... I didn't drug anyone!" As she looked at him in disbelief, he explained, "I mean, sure! Back at de house, I might'a slipped some single colored pills into their drinks to help them both ease up. But I gave de Fairy Boy no more than I did'a Fox. And he handled it well enough..." he turned his gaze towards the door to the VIP rooms, where the vulpine was still with the new girl. "At least, I think."
Twitching, the British brunette bar-tender glared down at the Italian icon. "...You think?" she quoted him, before gritting her teeth. "You think!?" She screeched. Christ almighty! If a drugged-out McCloud ended up hurting Carmelita, the woman would never forgive herself!
Shrugging his shoulders–he was used to seeing the Execs at Nintendo blow their gaskets much worse–the Hawaiian shirt-clad man admitted, "What? You upset about'a my pills? You really shouldn't Lara. They're all organic and healthy but... I will admit something. I designed them with human physiology in mind! Not that of Hylians or Furries. So there might'a be some unforeseen side-effects when taken heavily."
"HI~YAAA~AAAAAHHH!"
Thumbing over to the pointy-eared blond who was swinging himself around one of the poles on stage, the mustached plumber replied, "Side-effects like'a dat."
Bringing her right hand up and running it over her face, the female co-owner of the Game Over club released a long-suffering sigh. "Oh bloody hell..."
"Of course," the videogame star of short stature brought up after a moment. "It could also be due to me having changed the recipe for the pills recently after the initial tests proved positive. Before, my meds were comprised of One-Up Mushrooms for an emotional boost, Super Mushrooms for physical health, Fire Flowers for energy, and Super Leaves for various vitamins and minerals... along with being a handy cohesion filler to cut the rest with."
Nodding her head, the ponytailed British aristocrat replied, "That doesn't sound too bad." After all, a number of organic and naturally occurring power-ups were sold at various Health Stores. Shoot, even Whole Foods was starting to carry them.
And then Mario dropped the Bob-Omb. "The new recipe, however, is comprised of Life Mushrooms for both emotional and physical support, Dash Peppers for increased energy, Ice Flowers to theoretically cut back on the drawbacks of using the peppers meant for Yoshi consumption in the first place, and Invincibility Leaves to provide greater nutrients than the regular Super Leaves... as well as work as a secondary energy enhancer–particularly for mental synapses–if the Ice Flowers were too much of a drawback..."
"HYUT! YAH! HIYAAH!" was the blond male's battle cry as Link jumped off from the stage and began running around the main floor, darting between tables as he did.
Then after a moment, the mustachioed doctor added, "Of course... there was also the addition of Boo Mushrooms as a stabilizer for everything involved. It might be the cause of the psychedelic hallucinatory effects."
Lara twitched. A lot. Even though she wasn't a fan of crass language, even she felt it was appropriate at the moment. "...Bloody fucking hell, Mario!"
"Hey now!" the Italian with a medical degree snapped back. "It'a worked on paper!"
Shaking her head in good-natured exasperation, Lilith released a small sigh. "Silly sugar daddy!" the succubus chirruped. "With that much power in there, I'm surprised he's not doing more..." she trailed off as she saw the destruction the Hylian was starting to cause. "Oh wait... never-mind. He's smashing the ashtrays for some reason."
"Must think they're pots," Mario muttered. He wasn't too worried though. It wasn't like Link would find anything in there to keep the illusion going. "We'll just settle him down, get him some coffee, and hope he comes down from his trip sooner rather than'a latter."
"YAH!" the pointy-eared blond cried out victoriously as he stood with his arms raised above his head, showing off the green rupee he found.
The woman behind the bar was gritting her teeth much more heavily. "Bloody hell, he found money..." she growled irritably. "Who even hides money in the ashtrays!?" Lara asked of no one in particular, but sure as hell wanting an answer.
"It's just a green rupee," Mario waved off. "That's like finding a penny."
Staring at the man, the British brunette threatened, "Listen, Mario! Either you calm him down or you're all getting ejected! As much as I like you, I can't have someone being a threat to my dancers or the other patrons!"
Releasing a sigh of his own, the mustachioed off-duty doctor shook his head. "Fine! Whatever! Let me at him. I think'a I can calm his bitch ass down." He pushed himself off of his stool before he made his way over to the Hylian who was continuing to hold his hands high, paused in place as if to listen to a tune only he could hear that played to the act of a man acquiring a newly found item. "Hey! Fairy Boy!" the Italian shouted at the Hylian.
"HIYAH!?" was the rather guarded shout of the pointy-eared blond before he started doing backflips. "Hiyah-hyut-hut, Hiyah, hut, hut, HUT-HUT! HIYAH!" was the almighty cry as he did a most impressive somersault into the air before landing upon the stage on his feet, causing the two dancers who had been trying to do their job to go wide-eyed at the impressive display of manly agility and athleticism.
Now the Italian was getting annoyed. How dare the blond actually make him put forth actual effort? "Damn it, Fairy Boy! GET YOUR BITCH ASS OFF'A DE STAGE!" he shouted angrily at his friend who was tripping balls. I definitely need to find another cohesion element. Those Boo Mushrooms are a pain in my ass, the mustached man thought irritably.
"HYUT!" was the equally agitated cry of the Hero of Hyrule before he began dodging to the side back and forth, as if somehow it made him travel faster than merely running would; the sylvan male making his way towards the back curtain as he did.
Cracking his knuckles, Mario sighed. "Whelp, time to put that punk ass down." A little Brawl would do him some good... even if it gave Link a world of hurt.
Not wanting friends to come to blows, it was then the crimson-winged succubus decided to get involved. After all, a hospital trip meant the flow of sugar would be done for the night and she'd only gotten twenty coins! She knew she could get more than just that! "Allow me," Lilith spoke up with a smile. Bringing her right hand up before her, she brought her thumb and index finger to either side of her lips and whistled, her familiars flying off of her. The red-furred bats fluttered all about the blond, tripping Link up before settling themselves on his downed form. With mere moments, they shimmered and their existence changed to that of a long towel which was wrapped around him. "See? Quick and easy."
Looking over the results for a moment, the Italian couldn't help but release a small chuckle. "...Very good," Mario praised as he nodded his head approvingly. "I think'a you earned yourself another tip for dat," he murmured as he reached into his right pocket before handing the violet-tressed infernal cutie a small handful of coins. Anything that made it easier to keep Fairy Boy in check was a good thing in his books.
The crimson and blue-clad sexual demoness smiled as she accepted the offered coins. "Not a problem."
However, before the woman could count the new stack of gifted gold, she had to deal with one of her co-workers. "What the hell, Lilith?! I thought you said they couldn't leave your body!?" Sam yelled as she stood topless by the door to the VIP Rooms, having finished up with a customer... and rather pissed at what she witnessed.
Turning towards the former Gears of War alumni, the succubus smirked rather deviously. "A little white lie never hurt anyone."
Bringing her hand up to her face, Lara sighed as she rubbed her eyes, feeling the dull pounding of a headache throb behind them. "This is going to be one of those nights, isn't it?"
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Down along the California Interstate the machine sped, passing all other vehicles on the stretch of highway as its powerful engine roared. A golden brick of a car that, despite it being as un-aerodynamic in design as possible, was still able to push its velocity thirty miles well past the posted speed limit thanks to a Six Liter V8 engine. This monstrosity that hurt the eyes to look at was a 2005 Hummer H2 SUT.
Built upon a light duty pickup truck bed frame and had a wider-than-average track firm, the Hummer H2 was meant to offer greater stability against overturning compared to some of the more common light truck SUVs... however, this redesign also represented the pinnacle of American waste and excess, sharing absolutely nothing in common with the H1 in terms of design, function, and capability! Not to mention the absolutely abysmal gas mileage, thicker yet less dense body panels which only served to weigh down the car further while offering less protection, and overall weak performance. On its own, it was bad enough, even with the custom paint job of bright and shiny gold that seemed to scream self-indulgence.
This Hummer however... was a custom job.
Spinning rims were turning wildly on all four tires on the ground and even the one extra that hung off the back of Hummer's flatbed. Despite also being made of shiny yellow substance, the off-gold of hubcaps clashed with the vehicle's paint-job. Also, by being spinning rims, they were independently rotating atop the thick tires by using one of roller bearings to isolate the spinner from the wheel, enabling it to turn while the wheel was at rest or in this case, while it sped down the highway. And turning the opposite direction, meaning if someone were to stare at it, they would be getting one hell of a massive headache.
And people's attention would be drawn to the vehicle. The back was equipped with an item known to both its fans and detractors alike as a, 'fart can'. A specialized exhaust pipe that took the, 'muffle' out of 'muffler'; the widened tailpipe design turning it into a resonator that would belch out smoke and noise. With this larger diameter it would allow the sound waves to reflect off the walls within much easier while releasing larger amounts of carbon emission into the air. Combined with a V8 engine that could push out three-hundred and twenty-five horsepower and it was the loudest source of air-pollution on the road. Truly, the H2's owner felt his desire to make obscenely loud noises was much more of a valid concern than everyone else's desire to not go deaf before the age of sixty.
This also included the others drivers' desires to not gouge their eyes out with a spork as anyone who was stuck behind the golden H2 would not only find themselves on the receiving end of the fart can's full-blast of noisy racket and black smoke but discover their view filled with the political bumper stickers that seemed purposely chosen to raise the hairs on the back of the necks of those who lived in the Blue State of California. Such gems as, "Conservative: Because Not Everyone Can Be A Freeloader!", "Liberals Only Support The Death Penalty For Babies!", "Be Productive! Don't Take Gender Studies!" and the classic, "I'll Keep My Money, You Keep The Change!"
And if one looked lower to try and avoid the sight of gold and offensively super conservative slogans, the final, 'Fuck You' was present. Hanging lower from the fifth wheel coupling where one would attach a camper, flat-bed, or what-have-you swung a set of blue truck nuts, as if the driver of the Hummer was proudly proclaiming for the other motorists on the road to, 'suck this'.
Truly, a more douchebag vehicle had never existed.
And it was heading towards Exit Thirty-One.
