AN: So. Hi. Been a while. Basically I've had writers block for a while, and been insanely busy with college lol :') I'm really not proud of this chapter, it's kinda short, but I want SOMETHING up. Thank you to anyone who has reviewed, I want you to know I genuinely love getting them, and to hear that people like my portrayal of Ray really makes me happy, she's very dear to me. Hopefully I'll have something up in the next 2-3 weeks, but uh, don't quote me on that ;)
Thanks again lovies, please leave more reviews, I do love them! -Manic x
"What the fuck kid?"
Ray blinked at Levi, cocking her head to the side slightly as she attempted to steady her breathing.
"Sorry," she murmured. "Did I wake you?"
"No, I was already awake." Levi replied, sounding exasperated. "I heard you screaming bloody murder. You're lucky Erwin isn't home, he'd break down your fucking door." His gaze flicked erratically between her hair and eyes, and she self-consciously smoothed down the frazzled strands.
"Sorry," she repeated. "Fell asleep in the living room." She went to close the door, but his foot shot out to stop it. She frowned and blinked at him in confusion.
"You were yelling my name kid." Levi's eyes stilled, looking into hers. "Some shit about watching out, Caleb's behind me." He paused, aware that her breath had hitched slightly at the news. "Caleb's your ex, right?" He asked. She slowly nodded her head once.
"I'm-"
"If you say you're sorry one more time I'm going to fucking lose it."
Ray was taken aback, nibbling at her bottom lip anxiously, the wispy remnants of her nightmare still wafting about her mind. They stood in silence for a long moment, Levi looking at her with an odd, squinty look on his face.
"That's it. I'm cutting your hair. Open the door." Levi's order took her by surprise, and for a moment she spluttered, attempting to think of what to say.
"I- what?" She asked, flabbergasted.
"Your hair, it's been cut unevenly. It's been bugging me since you moved in, and now it's growing out all wrong. Open the door, I'm fixing it." He spoke bluntly, running a hand through his own hair and smoothing out the strands that stuck out at odd angles. Quite against her own better judgement, Ray took the chain off the door and let him in, and immediately he closed the door and wrapped a hand around her forearm, leading her to the bathroom. She tensed up automatically at the contact, but he didn't tighten his fingers around her, it was more like a loose bracelet she could easily escape if she really needed to.
Once in the bathroom he instructed her to sit on the edge of her bathtub, while he ran back to his flat to fetch his own scissors – Ray only owned a rather blunt pair. To be helpful she placed a plastic bag on the floor to (hopefully) catch the hair as it fell. When Levi returned, he'd changed his clothes from a plain black tee and pyjama bottoms, to a pair of crisp black suit trousers and a neatly pressed white button down. He got to work quietly, combing through her hair in an attempt to get all the tangles out. Her fitful night's sleep meant there were an awful lot of them, but years of her childhood spent letting Hannah tug and forcefully style her hair in games of hairdresser meant the fine teeth of the comb couldn't hurt her all that much.
When every tangle was smoothed out, Levi began measuring and cutting, snipping her hair so that it would all hang in a smooth bob just barely brushing her jawline. They were silent as he worked, slowly but steadily, until his warm fingers brushed against the nape of her neck and she tensed up, shivering slightly. Levi stopped working for a moment, brushing the loose hair from her shoulders onto the floor, and she shivered again and wriggled away.
"Something the matter?" Levi asked. Ray felt a slight blush creep up her neck and onto her face.
"Nothing, I just have a very sensitive neck." She muttered. Levi made a slight sound she couldn't quite place, either a scornful snort, or a laugh he'd attempted to cover up.
"Alright, I'll be more careful." He murmured, gently moving her head into position and starting to cut again. He remained true to his word, for a moment at least. Ray let out a yelping sound when his knuckles roughly grazed the crook of her neck, throwing a dirty look at the tile opposite her.
"You said you'd be more careful." She complained.
"I am being careful." Levi retorted. He snipped off another section of hair, and she yelped even louder as the cool metal of the scissors joined the warmth of his fingers on her skin.
"Quit it!" She demanded heatedly.
"I'm not doing anything." Levi countered, continuing with his work. Ray bit her tongue and kept quiet, goose bumps breaking out across her skin as he continued to purposefully brush against her skin.
When he was finally done she let out a sigh of relief, standing and shaking her hair, enjoying the bouncy feel it had. She stepped over to the mirror and admired the new look, impressed by Levi's skill. He'd cut it shorter at the back, just brushing the nape of her neck, while the front framed her face and lined up with her chin. He'd managed to trim her fringe and make it an almost perfect straight line across her forehead, though it was shorter than it had been before.
"Y'know, you should've been a hair stylist, not a cop." She commented, admiring the cut from every angle. In the mirrors reflection she saw Levi rolling down the sleeves of his shirt.
"I'm not a cop, I'm a detective." He corrected. "And I'm much better at it than cutting hair." He crouched down and began gathering the stray hairs from the floor and piling them in the plastic bag.
"I need a shower." Ray murmured, changing the subject and wrinkling her nose at herself in the mirror. There were charcoal smudges on her face, stray hairs on her bare shoulders, and the dress she'd been wearing since yesterday was crumpled, and were it not black she was sure it would show many more charcoal stains.
"I'm not helping you with that." Levi replied, tying the handles of the bag neatly and dropping it in the bin by the door.
"It was not an invitation." Ray told him, turning to face the real Levi rather than his reflection. She noted that there were faint shadows under his eyes, made visible in the harsh lighting of the bathroom. "Trouble sleeping?" She asked, curious about her tiny, angry neighbour. Levi shrugged.
"Probably a better night's sleep than you get." He replied.
"Probably." She agreed quietly. They stayed quiet for a moment, simply looking at each other, and she wondered why he hadn't left yet.
"How many tattoos do you have?" Levi asked, reach over a hand and lifting her left arm, examining the ink embedded there. Ray shrugged.
"I uh, lost count." She answered.
"Regret any?" He turned her arm to examine the paintbrush that ran along the inner part of her arm, the tip tinted orange and leaving a trail of multi-coloured paint drops that encompassed her wrist like a bracelet.
"Only one." Her voice was very soft, a phantom ache throbbing above her heart.
"Why just one?" He asked, fingers dragging along the skin to the back of her left hand, where several large orchids bloomed and entangled within one another. As she recalled, that particular tattoo had hurt like a bitch.
"Because I promised myself and my mother I would never get a tattoo while I was drunk." Though the memory was a stinging one, she gave a wry half smile. The words 'I solemnly swear to never tattoo my body whilst intoxicated' were inked along her right hip, complete with her signature.
"So?" Levi asked, moving the pads of his fingers to delicately examine the tiny black dots on each of her fingers, between the first and second knuckle. Ray loved those tattoos, she found them rather elegant looking.
"It ain't rocket science. The one tattoo I regret was one I got while I was drunk. I didn't even want it, Caleb got me utterly smashed until I couldn't protest and took me to get it done." The wry smile was gone, and her free hand went to cover her heart, where the tattoo lay. A simple heart and anchor motif, complete with a small banner with Caleb's name delicately filled in. She hated that picture with a passion, wished she could scrub it from her skin. It was like he'd staked a claim of her heart, as if tearing it to shreds and then beating it black and blue wasn't enough. She hardly even noticed Levi's hands had stilled, his fingers tensing around hers.
"And you haven't handed him over to the cops?" He sounded disgusted. Ray gave a weak smile and tugged her hand free.
"I need to have a shower." She reminded him, gently pushing him out of the bathroom and closing the door between them.
o0o
The café was oddly busy throughout the day, Ray barely getting a moment to herself to take a breather. She missed her breaks, and ended up last-minute covering for Sasha, who had apparently ingested a bad couple of eggs and come down with food poisoning – her roommate, Connie, offered a particularly graphic account of what was coming out of her, and where it spewed from. She was on her feet from 9am, and it wasn't until 6pm that she got to sit down at an empty table and rest her head on her arms, too tired to bother working the machine to make herself some tea. By then business had died down slightly to something manageable for Armin, who was happy to let her take a breather, encouraging even.
She didn't notice anybody approaching her, on the verge of falling asleep right there, with her shoes kicked off her aching feet, and her hair even messier than usual. She jerked upright when several things were dropped on the table, and two chairs were scraped back, heavy weights settling into them.
"What-?"
"We got you some tea." Levi cut her off bluntly, nodding to a teacup steaming away before her, alongside a plated cheese scone.
"And we figured you hadn't had much to eat yet, Hanji mentioned you'd been swarmed today." Erwin smiled gently as he explained the scone. Ray blinked at them, still appearing confused, before she processed their words and a small smile crept onto her face.
"You didn't have to." She told them gratefully. "But thanks." She pulled the tea closer and leaned down, smiling into the steam billowing into her face.
"It's no problem." Erwin assured her, a cup of coffee already secured in his hands. "We understand the stress of a long day of work." He unbuttoned his blazer and loosened his tie, getting comfortable. The beginnings of impressive bags were forming beneath his eyes, testament to his words. The same could be said for Levi, only he had tea rather than coffee.
"You're a detective too, right?" Ray asked, cocking her head to the side inquisitively. She ignored the way Levi was staring at her, he seemed to do that a lot and she was learning to do that. If it was because he had a problem he usually spoke up about it eventually. Erwin nodded.
"Recently promoted to Deputy Commissioner of Police of the Metropolis." There was silence for a few minutes as Ray stared blankly at him.
"That's a mouthful." She told him. "Title like that come with a lot of work?" Erwin nodded again, chuckling.
"A lot less in the field, a lot more paperwork." He sounded slightly wistful. "Then again, it provides a lot more power to cause changes that are long awaited." He smiled and sipped his coffee, while Levi made a slight noise.
"Don't get him started on all that shit." He muttered. Erwin snickered and glanced at his friend.
"Am I really that bad Levi?" He asked lightly. Levi rolled his eyes.
"It might sound motivating and all that crap the first three times you hear it, but that speech gets old fast old man." He sipped his tea nonchalantly, a smirk flickering on his face at the mock wounded expression Erwin pulled. Ray giggled quietly, picking up her scone and nibbling at it.
"Has anyone ever told the two of you that you act like an old married couple?" She asked. She laughed slightly harder as the two shot her equally unamused looks.
"It's been mentioned once or twice." Erwin told her dryly.
"Pipe down kid, quit being so immature." Levi rolled his eyes at her antics. Ray bit her lip and took a larger bite from her scone.
"Relax Levi, it's nice to see her able to relax for a change." Erwin looked pleased as he drank his coffee. Ray flushed slightly, looking down at her tea.
"I mean, it's hard not to relax around here now." She muttered, gesturing around the café. "Like it or not Hanji has made this one of my safe places. I walked here without Ali today…" her expression was mixed, like she wasn't quite aware of what she was saying. She hated that she was so scared to walk down the road alone and that it was an achievement to do such a menial task, but she was pleased at the same time, it was like Caleb was becoming more and more like a bad dream with every passing day, like she was scrubbing her skin clean.
"Shitty glasses has that habit." Levi grumbled. He'd been even more reluctant to stick around the café more than he had to, but like it or not, years later, it was a part of his daily routine. Erwin looked pleased.
"Yes, she does." He agreed. They fell into comfortable silence, sipping their respective drinks and mulling over their own thoughts.
"Fancy seeing you lot here!" An enthusiastic voice interrupted the peace as Hanji dropped into the spare seat, making Ray jump and choke on her bite of scone. She coughed, eyes wide as she attempted to remove the blockage. Levi reached over and slapped her on the back several times, until the obstruction was dislodged and sent flying back into her plate with the rest of the scone. A red-faced Ray pushed it away, suddenly not quite as hungry. Hanji cackled, while Levi bore a look of contempt.
"Thanks for that." Ray told her sarcastically, fanning herself in an attempt to cool off her face.
"No problem!" Hanji shot back, winking. She lifted a bag onto the table and shoved it towards Ray, who barely managed to lift her teacup out of the way in time to save it from destruction. "Thanks for showing me these, they were very interesting." Hanji grinned. "I especially liked the one of me, very nicely done." After only beginning to turn back to her normal colour, Ray blushed again. She hadn't meant to add the most recent of her drawings to the sketches, but it was one of her favourites, the only one she was even a little pleased about, or found to be enjoyable to make.
"What're those?" Erwin asked curiously.
"Drawings." Hanji answered. "Turns out Ray's quite the artist, I was thinking of putting some of them up on the walls maybe." At this Ray shook her head firmly. Hanji's expression turned pleading. "But I want to." She whined.
"At least wait til I've churned out something worth putting up." Ray muttered, rolling her eyes and pulling the bag of drawings off the table and onto the floor at her feet. Hanji held up her hands defensively.
"Hey, I'm not gonna put up anything you don't want up." She placated. "Just saying, you have some nice stuff, and it'd look nice on my walls." She beamed and got up from her seat. "You can go now by the way, Mikasa's coming in for the late shift." She bounded away from their table, slightly greasy looking hair bouncing behind her.
"Would you like us to walk home with you?" Erwin asked kindly. Ray shrugged, gulping back the last of her tea.
"If you're ready to go then sure, but I don't want to be a burden." She assured them. Erwin waved her off, finishing his own drink.
"It's no burden, right Levi?" The smaller man shrugged, already getting to his feet. Ray couldn't help but feel a little bit relieved, it was already dark outside, and though she was better at walking to and from work alone by now, she wasn't so composed at night. It would be nice to have their company, she could trust they wouldn't try anything stupid. She smiled at the men, slipping her sore feet back into her shoes and getting up from her chair.
"Let me go grab my things, then we can go." She told the two, hurrying across the café, behind the counter and into the kitchen. Only a few of the stations were being used, the rest of the lights switched off and casting half the room into darkness. Ray shuddered slightly, recalling the piercing darkness of her nightmare.
To the right of the door were several hooks nailed into the wall, a few of them holding up the possessions of the few people currently working. Ray found hers quickly, pulling on a thick black hoodie and a dark denim jacket. She was slinging her little bag over her shoulders when she heard something odd, like knuckles knocking against glass. She paused, glancing over her shoulder and peering across the dim kitchen.
"Someone there?" She called out hesitantly. There was silence apart from the gentle humming of two of the ovens in use. She stood rooted to the spot as the quiet dragged on, something akin to fear keeping her from moving. A shudder made its way down her spine, but still she kept staring intently into the shadows. There was the uncomfortable feeling of somebody's eyes on her, and it was disconcerting.
"Oi." She practically jump out of her skin when Levi's voice broke through the silence. Heart racing she let out a breath she hadn't realised she had been holding, adjusting her bag distractedly and focussing on Levi's face peering round the door, his eyebrows furrowed. "Something wrong?" He asked. She shook her head.
"Just imagining things." She muttered, slipping past him and back into the brighter part of the café. Levi followed, not looking thoroughly convinced.
"Crazy people do that." He told her.
"Yeah…" Was all she said, too distracted to really focus on his words. He cleared his throat, eyes fixed on her, his expression carefully guarded.
"Well then. Erwin was called back to the office unexpectedly, it's just me, if that's alright with you?" Had Ray been paying more attention she'd have been surprised at how considerate he was being, and how oddly soft his voice became. Alas, she wasn't paying attention, and she merely nodded, the hair at the back of her neck raising uncomfortably along with the feeling of eyes fixed on her, burning into her skin.
"That's fine." She murmured as she pushed open the café door, shivering as the cold air assaulted her skin.
o0o
Ray didn't sleep that night. She tried at various points, tossing and turning on the couch, one minute swathed in blankets, and the next kicking them off and lolling half off the red cushions. The feeling that someone was watching her haunted her constantly, and she found herself getting up every 15 minutes to check the locks, make sure no one was hiding behind the shower curtain, peer under the unused bed, and scurry back to her little safe place. The night seemed to drag on, the hours before the sun began to rise chugging away sluggishly. The moment a glimmer of orange hued light slithered across the floor she was up, pacing back and forth through the flat with the curtains thrown open to let in more of the light.
She blinked rapidly every couple of seconds, feeling exhausted after her busy day of work, topped off with the restless night. Her lips were sore and chapped from the constant darting out of her tongue, teeth gnawing away at the skin, a nervous tic she'd never been able to help. Absent-mindedly she noted her rumpled work clothes, running a hand through her hair and wincing at the many tangles she encountered.
"What am I doing?" She muttered to herself, running her hands down her face tiredly. "Going bloody mad, right? Imagining things in the dark." She laughed slightly, the sound strangled and strained. "Great, now I'm talking to myself." She grit her teeth and sat back on the couch, feet planted firmly on the floor, hands clasped in her lap as she stared at a slightly discoloured spot on the wall.
A light rapping at the door startled her, sending her leaping out of her seat and halfway over the back of the sofa before she stopped and talked some sense into herself. She climbed back down and padded over to the door, pressing an ear against the wood.
"Who's there?" She asked, a slight tremor in her voice.
"It's Ali! Open up!" Ali's impatient voice called out and Ray let out a breath, reaching out for the door handle, only to hesitate before actually touching it. "Ray?" Ali called, sounding suspicious. Ray retracted her hand, drawing it into her stomach and sliding down the door.
"I don't want to." She called out softly. She was still feeling the fear that had been plaguing her all night, and she irrationally thought that if she opened that door, she'd find Caleb leering in at her. Ali didn't speak for a moment, but Ray heard a muffled sigh.
"You've got work later." She reminded. Ray buried her face in her knees, raking her hands through her hair.
"I know." She mumbled, not even certain that Ali could hear her.
"I'll let Hanji know you aren't feeling well enough to come in." Ali's tone was soft, pitying, and Ray clenched her hands into fists. She didn't ask for pity. "But Ray, you can't make a habit of this. You can't give into this crap. Remember, keep on fighting?"
"I know." Ray snapped. "I just need space today. And peace." She immediately regretted her sharp tone, biting her lip as tears welled up in her eyes.
"Fine. You'll get your space. Just don't let him win over you." She heard Ali retreat from the door, footsteps hurrying back down the corridor.
Ray let her head hang, sniffling as a tear dribbled down her cheek. A shiver ran down her spine as the feeling of eyes upon her continued, ever constant.