Dwight wasn't much for taking naps, but as he lazily started to come to, he thought to himself that he could see why people liked them so much. It was nice to rest for a bit, and he felt more rested than he had in a long time, not to mention more comfortable. In fact, he felt a bit too comfortable, and warm, and that was when he realized he had another person in bed with him at approximately the same time that he remembered what he had done before falling asleep.

Cindy was curled up with him, still sleeping, looking peaceful and content, and he absolutely could not believe that he had given into temptation and done something like this with her. He wouldn't have really minded a fling with anyone else- hell, he had been so into it with her that he knew it had been too long since he'd been with anyone- but she wouldn't see it as a fling, and she would want it to mean more to him than it did.

How could he tell her that he still did not want anything between them after he had given in to her advances like that? She still believed that she was doing this for him because it was her job, and she still believed she loved him just because of the position that he held. And, no matter how he tried to justify it in the moment, now that his head was clear, he realized that he had majorly fucked up and that he had taken advantage of the poor, confused girl. He didn't know what he was supposed to do with her now, and he dreaded when she woke up.

In the mean time, he tried to lay as still as possible to avoid waking her up any sooner than necessary and tried to think about what he could possibly say. But it was no use, and no matter what he thought of, it didn't sound at all right, and he wasn't going to be able to just lay there forever. She was going to wake up on her own eventually, and he would have to move at some point even if she didn't; already he kind of needed to take a piss.

Just when he was starting to think about getting up on his own, she began to stir and tightened her hold on him a bit, nuzzling as she came to. It was so damn cute that it made him once again forget just how bad of an idea all of this was. He had missed having someone to wake up with, but that was still no excuse for how far he had taken this, and now he had to find a way to break it to her.

"Hey," he said, and she looked up at him with that heartbreaking, meaningless devotion in her eyes.

"Did I prove myself?" she asked.

"Listen..." He sighed; there was just no way to tell her without being a complete and total ass...or, more of an ass than he already was. "Listen, I think there's a lot we need to talk about, so how about we both get up and get dressed first?"

She nodded and hopped out of bed, picking up her scattered clothes while he slowly stood up, stretching. It really had been a good nap, and he headed for the bathroom before emerging and pulling his pants back on. Cindy was sitting on the edge of his bed, fully dressed, and looking very pleased with herself, and once again he cursed the fact that he didn't know what on earth to say to her.

"That was fun," he said, then wished he could take it back, because it felt like the wrong way to start this. "I mean, you're really good and all, but..."

Already, her face fell. "I wasn't good enough, though, was I? I'm sorry, I'm out of practice, I could-"

"It's not that at all. You were better than good enough, trust me. But we really shouldn't have done that, I mean, not until we knew each other a little better." Not that that would mean anything to her; she had already insisted that she knew him well enough. "I went too far with you."

"But you didn't," she protested. "You wanted to test me out, and I wanted to prove myself to you! I really, really wanted that..."

"You didn't want it just to want it, though. You wanted it because you thought you had to, and that's why...I feel pretty bad for that." None of this was coming out right in the slightest.

"I did," she argued. "I wanted it for myself too. I really wanted you..."

"Don't," he said. "Don't say shit like that, okay? You didn't want me."

"Of course I did, why wouldn't I?"

"Look at me!" he snapped. "Don't fucking lie to me, I know you can't look at me and honestly say that you wanted me."

"But I did want you," she insisted, "and I do. I don't understand why I wouldn't."

There was no way that she wasn't lying to him, not with the way he looked, but she seemed just as sincere as she always had. It just wasn't possible that she could look at him and not be repulsed, that she could look at him and really believe that there was no reason for her not to want him.

"Please believe me," she said after he was silent for much too long. Her voice broke and he realized that she looked close to tears. This girl, this absolutely crazy girl, believed what she was saying, and though the reasons that had lead her to believe those things were incredibly fucked up, the fact remained that she did believe them, and she was standing in front of him, telling him that she wanted him despite his very obvious physical flaws.

It was so, so wrong for him to take this any further. He didn't know a damn thing about Cindy, and she didn't truly understand what she was doing, and if anyone else were the leader of the Saviors, she would have gone to them instead and become convinced that she really wanted them, but once again, he found himself tempted beyond what he could resist.

He wanted his old life back, he wanted to be happy with Sherry again, with a face that didn't make him cringe, and without an entire community leaning on him when he wasn't even sure how best to lead them. He wanted his real wife to love him again and to never have any cause to leave him and he wanted to not have to worry about everyone's safety, or anyone's safety, but he couldn't have any of that now. Dwight couldn't have her back or his life or his face, but he could have something, and something was always better than nothing.

It was a bad idea, it was one of the worst ideas he'd ever had, and it was completely unfair to the both of them. He would only be taking further advantage of her, but she would be heartbroken if he turned her away and she wouldn't know what to do with herself, and, damn it, it would be nice to not wake up alone and to have a woman who could look at him as if there were nothing wrong with him. This was something that he knew he would end up regretting, but in that moment, he couldn't bear to turn her away, and he pulled her into a hug.

"Alright, I believe you," he muttered. "I believe you, just don't cry, okay? Listen, you can...uh, you can stay here for a while, if you want. We can see how this goes. Does that sound alright to you?"

And his guilt would have increased, if that were even possible, when he saw the overjoyed look in her eyes, but it was so nice to see somebody look at him like that that he decided to just enjoy it. At least for now, he would enjoy it.