She apologized too much, and she asked what she was supposed to do too much, and Dwight wanted to know what made her think either of those were part of a relationship. If he was really in this for the long haul, and it seemed that he was, whether he liked it or not, he at least needed to do some good for her and get her out of that incorrect mindset.

"What'd he do to you?" he asked at last. "Why are you so afraid of me?"

"I'm not afraid of you." Cindy looked confused, but that was a given. "And I don't understand what you mean. What did who do to me?"

"You know. Negan. You always act so scared of messing up with me," he said. "I want to know what he did to you to make you think you need to scared."

"He never did anything to me!" This was the first time he had seen her look even slightly angry. "Nothing bad, anyway. He kept me fed and protected, just like the others, and whenever he wanted me, I did what he needed. And if I didn't like something, he would go to one of the girls who did."

The account sounded exactly like what he had heard from Sherry once, the last time they had been together, but it didn't add up with her behavior. "If that's true, then why do you get so worried about doing things for me? If you don't like something, you don't have to do it with me either."

"Because you don't have any other girls," she replied, "so I have to take up the slack."

He sighed, shaking his head. "It's not different. You know? Just...anything you don't want, tell me, just like you would have with him. I won't be upset, and it doesn't matter that I don't have other girls. Probably didn't have anything to do with it with him either." He didn't speak kindly of Negan often, but that was at least once thing he couldn't deny about the man.

"It'd be easier if you'd just tell me what you like," she said. "I wouldn't have to bother you with so many questions if you'd just tell me from the beginning."

"I like everything we've done so far. I mean, I'm pretty simple. Just keep doing whatever, alright?" He couldn't help but smile back when he saw the large grin on her face. She looked overjoyed to be told that, and he couldn't believe she had actually built her entire view of her "purpose" on her own. It would take a lot of work to get her out of that mindset, knowing that she had come up with it by herself.

But she still looked at him like he hung the moon, so he still couldn't bear to cut things off with her, and so he had to do something for her, at least to make him feel less guilty.

~X~

Things with Dwight were starting to look up, and Cindy couldn't have been happier. He was explaining things more clearly to her, so that she could actually understand the way he wanted her to be. She was glad that he also wanted her to be open about what she didn't like, and she was glad that he was happy with what they had been doing so far. She was also happy that he didn't want any other women around, though she didn't understand why that made her so happy; she had never been the jealous type because she knew better than that. Yet the thought of Dwight bringing someone else into his- their- home made her just a bit sad.

It was getting hard not to think selfishly about him, and when she was left home alone, all she wanted was for him to come back. The worst was when she'd start to think about how she could please him when he got home, and then she would find herself aroused by her own thoughts and no way to take care of that. She was supposed to wait for him, she knew that, but it often got so bad that she was driven to touch herself, feeling guilty all the while.

It was just so hard to think about him without getting too wound up to handle. She was, she realized, growing more attracted to him every day, and it was an attraction that was independent of her duty. It was the first time she had felt that strongly about anyone in a very, very long time, and she could hardly remember the last man she had felt this way for- it had to have been before the world got all fucked up. She wished even more fervently that Dwight would make things official.

He caught her pleasuring herself one day. She was too caught up in a fantasy about him, imagining his hands on her, their gentle touch a sharp contrast to the rough, calloused skin, and imagining his lips on hers, and she didn't hear him come in until it was much too late and he had already seen her.

"What's going on in here?" he asked with a smirk, and she shrunk in herself.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I know I shouldn't have but...I was just missing you and..."

"Hey," he said, his smirk fading, and his voice, oddly enough, sounded concerned. "Hey, why are you sorry? I'm not mad."

"Because I should have waited for you to get home," she replied, hanging her head. "I was selfish."

"No, no," he said, crossing the room to sit beside her on the bed. He put an arm around her and she relaxed into it without even thinking. "No, it's fine. It's really hot, actually."

"But...if I had just waited..."

"Then I wouldn't have come home to such a hot surprise," he replied. "Really. Don't feel bad. I liked it a lot."

"You did?" She was so glad that he wasn't just not upset with her, but happy with what she had done. She had managed to find something he liked on her own!

"'Course I did, it was sexy as hell. But I think I'll like it more if I'm helping you out. Whattaya say?"

She did not hesitate to say yes.