On the other side of the Frozen Food aisle, Lloyd stood before his options.

He came for vanilla. Vanilla. Yum-yum.

And there it was before him. Perf.

But, like, banana pudding-flavored pudding?

Bruuuuuuuh.

After a hum of thought, Lloyd decided to use no thought at all and scooped an entire display of pudding from the shelves into his cart. He didn't count how many fell in, along with what exact flavors, but emptying two shelves of pudding single-handedly, he figured the vanilla he so searched for made its way into his cart, along with tantalizing banana.

He did the same with the tapioca above and the chocolate below, plastic clattering within his green cart. He was satisfied with this now ample supply, but he couldn't help but think of how his pudding ran out so quickly. Surely no one else in the base would have taken any of his pudding cups, right?

Right?

Lloyd rubbed his chin and hummed in thought, pushing up his glasses as he did. With roughly two-hundred cups in his possession, surely he would never have that problem again, or at least for a while. Yet again, it was a mystery that the last cup disappeared and he completely didn't know about it.

Curious.

Also, taking all of these confectionaries out to the Knightmare would prove to be a challenge. Hopefully those commercials for this place were real, where it's completely storming and some happy person carries an umbrella over the customer as they push their cart out to their vehicle; it was a good thing he found a spot up front for his Knightmare. It was blue and white and had a charming stick figure of a person sitting down in a nice chair on it; a stroke of luck, really!

All that was missing was the person to do the hard part.

"Lelouch, why do we need all this pizza?"

The scientist's head perked up at the familiar voice, whirling his cart out the aisle to find his guinea pig Subway accompanying some of his acquaintances, including his fiancée and what Lloyd could have sworn was a body in the cart. Eyes widening in delight, Lloyd called, "Sooooooup!"

The brown-haired boy, looking away from the frantic Lelouch stuffing frozen pizzas in whatever empty space in the cart he could find while the other two girls stared in confusion, turned to see his boss with a crap-ton on pudding.

"Oh! Earl Asplund!" he replied, walking towards him while swinging his brown sack. "What are you doing here?"

"We ran out of pudding, Kalamari…" Lloyd growled, "Someone took my last cup without telling me. Can you believe it?"

"Whoa…no kidding!"

"I know! And this trip has been quite vexing," the scientist continued, "Apparently the pudding wasn't in the bakery, so I had to sacrifice a child to get here."

"A…child?"

"Well, I mean, not a REAL child. More like my first Neopet. It was the closest thing that I had to a first-born," Ignoring the perplexed look he was getting from Sushi, Lloyd got to his point with, "Anyway, I need someone to take this out to my car. Care to help?"

"Um…sure!" he responded, "We just need to pay for it!"

"What?"

With a moment of silence, Sunburn Krispy Kreme sighed and took the cart, pushing it towards the front of the store with the sack still in hand and mumbling to his friends, "I'll see you guys later. Like, in a few days."

As the two men left the aisle, Milly gave her fiancé a small wave, having a sudden daydreaming moment worthy of her wince.

"Millyyyyyyyy! We don't have any food in the fridge!"

"Well, why don't you go the store?"

"Don't you have to pay for groceries?"

"Um…yes!"

"Okay…I'll get some pudding."

"We need some other food, too!"

"Okay. I'll get some tapioca. God…"

The exhausted Milly, groaning at the kitchen table, is having her limbs constantly pulled by her twelve children, and LITERALLY ALL OF THEM want to play Mario Kart and ARE ALL FIGHTING over Yoshi, so she apparently has to be the mediator and the referee and the snack-giver but guess what all they freaking have is pudding and her useless husband is out to get more and she has to think about what happens when these freaking monsters go through puberty and start having boyfriends and taking the SAT and getting student loans and

"Also, Milly, what do you think about having more kids?"

Milly let a scream out, gripping her hair and letting her eyes almost pop completely out.

"Uh…Milly?" Shirley put her hand on the quivering Milly's shoulder, "Are you-"

"I DON'T FREAKING CARE WHO'S YOSHI!" the president screeched, sprinting out of the store wailing in horror. Through a few shoppers knocked to the ground, down the conveyor belt of a register, through the double doors, gone. Shirley and Lelouch watched their estranged president bolt off, screaming, "I DON'T WANT ANOTHER PERSON INSIDE MEEEEEEE!"

With a quick stop of her heart, Shirley realized she was now alone with Lelouch. She had to make this last somehow.

"Hey, u-uh, Lou-Lou…" Shirley stuttered, turning to Lelouch, "You know what goes with cereal?"

"Uh…" Lelouch looked around, asking, "What?"

"Literally any kind of fruit!" Shirley answered, taking the cart and Lelouch by the hand. Losing all feeling, she exclaimed, "Let's go to the produce and very slowly grab whatever they have!"

(*)

At last, Lloyd was at the register with his manservant, Spongey Krab with their cashier, Janice.

It was her day off today, but Publix called after management noticed overly excited teenagers and confused scientists prancing around with carts that carried half of the store's inventory of cereal, frozen pizza, cherry Caprisun, and, as it stood before her, pudding. She was shit at rock-paper-scissors, and oh did her fellow cashiers know that, as the loser had to check out the first clown out of the two to show up.

And there he was.

"Hello, sir," Seven years of acting school. For this. "Do you have a Publix membership card?"

"A what?" Lloyd sputtered, "You mean I have to be a member to get groceries here?"

Suitandtie facepalmed at this.

"Um…no," Janice sighed, "It's just for our weekly deals and rewards. Members just get a bunch of benefits and stuff."

"Well, why didn't I get the invitation to join?"

"Well, you can join by going to Customer Service after your ord-"

"Don't any of you know who I am?"

"Oh Christ." Santa Klaus groaned, putting his face in his defeated palms, leaning on the counter. His reminder that he had a bagged lunch was his only solace, really.

"I am Earl Lloyd Asplund, scientist and engineer for the holy empire of Britannia!" he took off his glasses, staring straight into his cashier's defeated eyes with, "Perhaps you didn't notice me because I had my glasses on. An understandable mistake, but I'll have you know that my work can be distinguished in any part of Area 11! I have my own Wikipedia page and Tumblr account with 2,765 followers about my pudding aesthetic! So…"

The earl, professor, doctor, engineer, scientist, and blogger, esquire, (praise be unto him,) went on and on about his worthy successes in life to the cashier that should have rewarded him with a formal invite for Publix's rewards program. Meanwhile, Suntan pounded his head against the counter repeatedly in the hopes of knocking himself out.