Katniss took a deep breath.
"Katniss…" Peeta pressed. "Just be honest with me."
"I did love you," she told him. "It just took me some time to figure it out."
Peeta breathed shakily, taking his hand off her face.
"I'm not am emotional person…" Katniss began. "But there was something about you… I cared for you so much, even when I barely knew you. For awhile I was really conflicted, and you were pretty angry with me for it."
"On the victory tour…" Peeta started. His head started to throb slightly.
"I was worried about Snow, worried about the districts… I had so much on my plate. And I wasn't ready to confront how I felt about you, because loving you was the scariest thing I've ever done. The scariest thing I ever will do."
Peeta looked at her. "I don't understand…"
She looked up at him, tears in her eyes. "Ever since we met your life has been in constant danger. Constant," She said slowly. "I haven't stopped worrying about you since the day of the first reaping. Everyone was trying to save me, but I was only trying to save you. My life never mattered to me. It still doesn't."
Peeta gaped at her. "It matters to other people," he said darkly. "It isn't just yours to throw away-"
Katniss looked up at him finally. "Does my life matter to you?" She whispered.
Peeta was at a loss for words. He looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath.
"You don't have to answer that," Katniss said to him. "Peeta…"
He looked at her slowly.
"I know that you don't remember how you feel about me. And I know it's going to take some time… But I can't deny that I'm in love with you," she whispered. "Not anymore, now that you're here...back with me."
Peeta bent his eyebrows. "What about Gale?" He muttered.
"I love Gale too, but you…" she trailed off. "You just… you consume me," she admitted slowly, her eyes fluttering shut.
Peeta's heart swelled. He didn't know what to do, so he sat there in silence.
"I want you to take your time," Katniss told him, her eyes still closed, "But you should know that as long as I'm alive, I will be fighting for you… no matter what." She opened her eyes and found him staring at her.
"I don't know what to say," he admitted honestly.
"When you first told me you loved me, I didn't know what to say either," Katniss admitted.
"What did I do?" Peeta asked her.
"You told me to lie with you. And you held me close," she trailed off. "That was the first time I ever heard your heart beat. I mean really heard it." She smiled faintly.
Peeta looked down at his hands. "What about last week? When you were just the servant and I was just the President…"
"The bugs in your office were from Snow. He was watching my every move, I didn't put them there to help the rebels. I didn't even know I was going to be a rebel until I heard about the plan to break out Prim," Katniss explained.
"You're not just a rebel, Katniss. You're the rebel. You're the mockingjay. The entire country is looking to you," he whispered. "You can't blame me for feeling slightly betrayed."
"And I don't," Katniss told him. "But Snow had Prim. And whenever something happened between us, he threatened to have her killed. He threatened to have you killed… You can't blame me for not telling you. I was scared," her voice cracked on the last word. She quickly rubbed her eyes.
Peeta took a deep breath.
"Did you even care about me?" Katniss asked.
"I'm still remembering most things, Katniss-"
"I'm not talking about the things you forget. I'm talking about last week. I'm talking about when I was just the servant and you were just the President."
Peeta looked at her, his eyes gazing into hers. "I'd never cared so much for someone," he admitted. "I didn't understand why I felt so connected to you."
Katniss sighed. "I'm still that person, you know," she said quietly.
"But I'm not the same person as I was last week," Peeta snapped. "Too much has happened, I've changed."
Katniss laid back into her pillows. "I know," she said quietly.
With that, Peeta stood up, leaving her alone in bed as tears silently fell down her face.
Gale closed his eyes as he heard Peeta crossing the room and heading out the door.
He shut them tight as he listened to Katniss weep silently. He had heard her whole conversation with Peeta, and his heart now hurt more than his shoulder.
She doesn't love you, he told himself. She loves him.
That doesn't mean you can't stop trying.
The next morning, Peeta was allowed to eat his first meal with the rest of the rebels. Grabbing some breakfast, he scanned the cafeteria for Delly, who waved him over to her table.
"Morning, Dell," he said to her.
"Hey Peeta," She said quietly. "Did you hear about Katniss?"
Peeta smiled faintly. "What are you talking about?"
"She blew up the command hovercraft yesterday. It was her," Delly exclaimed.
"That's really something," Peeta said. She also admitted to being in love with me last night.
"That's not even half of it," Another guy chimed in from down the table. "I heard she was surrounded by 9 hovercrafts that all had their guns pointing at her, so she wrote Snow's name on top of rocks with the ashes from the explosion. And then…" he raised up his hands, imitating Katniss' exact movements. "She just raised up her hands. The hovercrafts didn't even know what to do, so they just left!"
Everyone at the table gasped. "She wrote Snow?!" "She's so brave!" "She truly is the mockingjay!"
Delly looked at Peeta, who had an angry expression on his face. He ignored the chatter and continued shoving his breakfast into his mouth.
Delly placed her hand on his shoulder. "Did something happen?"
"No, its nothing," Peeta smiled.
'Everyone was trying to save me, but I was only trying to save you. My life never mattered to me. It still doesn't…'
His eyes perked up as he noticed the room fell silent. He watched as Gale and Katniss walked into the cafeteria together, laughing quietly at an inside joke. They were both regularly dressed, Gale with a sling around his arm.
Peeta quickly finished his breakfast, not looking at them anymore. He heard them come over to the table, he heard them sit down. But he couldn't look at her. He couldn't look at them together.
"Morning, Peeta," Gale said. Katniss elbowed him in the ribs.
"Hey," Peeta said, throwing a quick glance at Katniss. With that, he stood up.
"Where-where are you going?" Delly asked.
"I'm starting training today," Peeta answered them. Then he looked at Katniss. "It seems Plutarch wants me on your team." With that, he walked out of the cafeteria.
Delly stood up. "I better go see what…" she trailed off as Katniss nodded at her. "Ill let you know if he's not okay."
Katniss fumed, her blood boiling with anger. Fucking Plutarch, always having too much fun with the rest of us.
Gale touched her shoulder. "Katnip, it's okay."
She looked at Gale. "My only request as mockingjay was too keep Peeta safe. To give him immunity. And now Plutarch is throwing him into the line of fire? Why would he do that?"
"He just wants to keep you fighting. You need more shields."
Katniss froze, his words sinking in. "What do you mean, you're all just shields for me?"
Gale took a deep breath as Katniss' eyes bulged.
"You mean that Plutarch and Boggs are just putting people on my team they want to take a bullet for me," she snapped at him.
Gale threw his hands in the air. "No one wants a martyr. Look at what you accomplished after I got shot. Having people you love around you… it fuels you."
Katniss stood up from the table, angrily. "It scares me!" She screamed, having the entire cafeteria turn and watch as she stomped out the room.
Katniss stomped up to headquarters, ready to give Plutarch a piece of her mind.
As soon as she opened the door, she was silenced with "SHHH…"
She looked up in horror as she saw Snow's face on the television screen.
"And now I have a message for the mockingjay," he said smoothly. "Your spontaneous tricks won't get you far. The berries first, then the wire, and now the hovercraft… you truly are a master of manipulation," he sneered, knowing exactly who he was talking to. "I would like to request a meeting with the mockingjay, to discuss, well… further arrangements in regards to the war. We both want what is best for Panem, and as leaders I believe we can… negotiate," he said, with a snakelike smile. Negotiate, ha, Katniss thought. "You have 8 hours to respond."
With that, the screen went black.
Will Katniss take the meeting with Snow? Will Peeta confront his feelings for Katniss? Will Gale ever tell her how he feels? Will the battle continue? Stay tuned and review. What do you want to happen?
xoxo DLL