(5)
Victor had stored three bottles on Alpha and the third, even so many months after his passing, had never been found. During the first part of their journey, when the Alphans found themselves thrust into deep space, there came a time when Commander Koenig and Professor Bergman had a conversation over a cup or two of brandy.
They cracked it open and sampled the first bottle as they were moving into a black sun. They thought it would be their last drink together, the final time they would be able to partake in something so simple but pleasurable. They sat on the steps leading into his office and despite the circumstances, thoughts of death and inconceivable individual loss, it was good.
The second bottle came out after the attack by the alien, Balor. John rested, bruised and battered as a result of he and the psychotic alien's final battle. The Commander felt stiff, exhausted, and in need of a good drink. Bergman complied. This time they were in his office's lounging area. Feeling a little loose, somewhat lightheaded, their conversation turned to friends they once knew and current comrades.
John looked at Victor, sipping from his glass, and asked: "Why do you suppose Helena and Lee Russell never had children?" It was an odd contemplation and had he not been drinking the Commander might never have voiced it. These were during the days when he still kept his feelings for Helena to himself.
Victor's brow's raised slightly. "I'm not sure. Helena obviously adores children. You see how she is with Jackie Crawford. I suppose it's a question you will have to ask her one day."
He did.
Later, when he and Helena became closer, determined to be exclusive, and had voiced their love – when they had gotten around to speaking about the future - how the Alphans might one day have children, John asked Helena why she and Lee never had a child together.
He remembered her looking a little away from him then, deciding it was a reasonable question, said: "We were both working hard during the first part of our marriage. He was a space explorer and I was busy at London General. We really had no time for children. We barely had time for each other. Then later …"
He noted regret.
"We looked into it and discovered Lee could not have children. I suppose we could have adopted but we were both busy professionals and … and happy in each other's company." Despite the assertion Helena could not disguise the disappointment in her voice.
"And now?" John asked, probing.
A mild smile appeared on her face as she looked at him, "Are you asking me for a reason, John?"
"Maybe. I'm not sure." he admitted.
She said, "I think that is my reply too."
Despite her strength, the appearance of Karen's image, along with all the unpretentious behaviors of childhood, was far more harrowing for Helena than she was willing to admit. Still courageous, she never the less grew quiet over the next few days. When John told her Computer gave him a night off during the same evening as herself, she appeared pleased but not exactly over-joyed.
"Would you rather be alone?" he asked her.
"No." she replied quickly and smiled up at him gently, realizing her despondency was taken for disinterest. They were standing in a hall just outside of Medical Center. "I'm fine, John. I do want to spend time with you." She leaned into his embrace, "I'm just not certain if I will be good company for you."
And he knew why and was angry he had thought only of himself when she was still mourning the departed vision of her beloved daughter. It was his job to alleviate her pain, not become self-absorbed.
That afternoon, almost by the grace of an all knowing deity, or perhaps Professor Berman himself, John found Victor's last bottle of brandy. He checked the bottom drawer of his dresser, a stark white box he seldom opened, and found the brandy. There was a note attached: For John. Drink this when you truly have a reason.
"Victor, even now you are a man of vision." He murmured, thinking kindly of the older man. He truly missed him. Professor Bergman probably meant it to be consumed when they found a new home but John could not think of a better time to drink the brandy than with Helena – when she and he needed it the most.
Continue to Epilogue