The two Orlesian statues had been delivered, a pair that told a story apparently. It had been a nightmare getting them into the Great Hall, but Cullen and his men had managed. Hopefully Maeven would like them where they had been placed. He sighed and headed back to his tower, going over the day's goals. Several hours of uninterrupted work later, his stomach growled loudly and he looked out the window to see the sky awash in sunset pinks and orange. He briefly contemplated finishing off several more reports before heading to the hall for dinner. A sharp pang from his stomach quickly changed his mind, and he hurriedly arranged his work for later before heading out with a nod to an incoming messenger. Solas' atrium was quiet, the elf nowhere to be seen, and Cullen took a few moments to admire the latest painting on the wall. Celene was a great towering figure in blue. It was quite beautiful. He entered into the Great Hall and saw Maeven by the male statue, Dorian and Varric at her side. She was studying the statues, a deep thoughtful look on her face. He headed over to check on things. Just in case.

OooO

"Is this anatomically correct?" Maeven asked at last, gesturing at the male statue. Dorian had insisted she take a look at them as soon as they had walked into the Great Hall.

"Quite, it's rather nicely done too, for an Orlesian carving." Dorian remarked.

"So, that's a normal size for a guy?" She pointed, looking intently at Dorian, trying to see if he was attempting to tease her. "Because I think I would have trouble walking around with that thing between my legs."

Dorian stared at her before making the strangest noise, while his shoulders began to shake.

Maeven blinked in confusion at her friend. Turning to Varric for his opinion she frowned to see the dwarf nearly doubled over, shaking quite violently as well. Dorian evidently couldn't hold it back any longer and started laughing.

"What in Thedas has gotten into the two of you?" She asked irritably. Looking up, she sees Cullen heading over and smiles; he looks good.

OooO

She's smiling at him as he approaches, it's a beautiful thing, her smile ."Commander." She greets. How she manages to transition so smoothly between his title and his name when in public and in private, is something he frequently wonders about. He gives her two convulsing companions a curious look before turning his attention to her. She's frowning again at the two.

"I really don't know why they're laughing." She tells him. "Perhaps you can help?"

"As much as I am able." He replies, wondering what her request will be.

"I'm wondering if it is truly possible for a man to be as well endowed as he." She points to the male statue.

Cullen blinks, and wonders if it is possible to answer her question without actually looking. She's looking at him expectantly and he is forced to turn his gaze, following the line of her arm. He swallows, but before he can get a good look, she continues.

"Because I think I would find it very difficult to walk with something of that size between my legs. I told Dorian and Varric and they haven't stopped laughing yet."

Cullen's vision blurs and he feels a flush come up his neck. "I...I...er…" His mind wanders to places it probably shouldn't, and suddenly he can't remember her question.

Meanwhile, Varric has gotten some semblance of control over himself, and spots the Trevelyan brothers entering the Great Hall.

"Broadsword, Snickers." He calls out to them and gestures them over. The two make their way forward, both looking at Cullen curiously. Maeven follows their gaze and steps towards him anxiously.

"Cullen, are you all right? You're really red." She reaches out and touches his face, cupping it in her hands.

"I have to go." He blurts, and rushes off.

Maeven blinks in surprise and watches him with concern before turning to her brothers. They are currently staring at the female statue, as naked as her male counterpart. Trig looks mortified, Lucan looks disgusted.

"It's a bit…." Trig trails off.

"Garish? Obscene? Gaudy?" Lucan supplies.

"All of the above?" Trig says weakly.

Dorian, who had retreated to a nearby chair to laugh himself out, suddenly calls out. "Ask them about the statue."

Trig and Lucan look at her, she shoots Dorian an annoyed look. "I asked them if most guys looked like that." She points once again at the male statue. "And he," she points at Dorian, "and Varric, start laughing their heads off." The two men look at the statue with raised eyebrows.

"You have to say it like you did to us!" Varric insists.

"Why?" Maeven practically stomps, frustrated with her two favorite friends.

"Just do it, Trevely." Varric smiles.

Maeven gives an exasperated sigh. "I said, and I quote 'I think it would be incredibly hard to walk around with that, hanging between my legs.'"

There's a pause while her brothers digest that.

"Maker's breath Maeven!" Trig exclaims. "Please tell me you don't say that sort of things to random people you meet."

"Why, by Andraste's blessed mabari, would I talk about naked Orlesian statues to random people?" Maeven sniped back to her brother.

"Actually, I think she has a point. It would be rather hard to walk around with that." Lucan said looking seriously at the statue. "Although," he says thoughtfully, "I guess that's why they're both naked."

"I guess we know who she takes after." Varric murmurs to Dorian.

AN: I will probably come back and edit this one.

But enjoy for now :)