Warning: Crack Fic

"Andraste preserve us." Josephine choked disgustedly at the creature in front of her. "What is it?"

"The report says it was a charger." Leliana replied, her nose wrinkling delicately.

"It is obviously possessed. Why was it not destroyed?" Cassandra demanded.

"Perhaps the discoverers were too terrified." Cullen suggested dryly.

"Maker," Cassandra groaned. "the Herald cannot see this. It would probably frighten her to death."

"I agree." Cullen said firmly.

"And just how do you intend to explain its disappearance? She has been waiting most anxiously to see this 'bog unicorn'." Leliana asked with raised brow.

There was a silence as they each pondered that question. Leliana's sharp ears picked up the sound of hurried footsteps, but it was too late.

"Is it here? Oh Maker!" Maeven Trevelyan came to a horrified stop. Eyes wide, and face rapidly changing color.

The advisors exchanged looks and Josephine stepped forward to place a hand on her shoulder, only to jerk back as the Herald stepped up to the creature.

"You poor thing." She whispered to the animal. "You poor, poor thing. Who would do this to such a magnificent creature?"

"Not how I would have described it." Cullen muttered.

Maeven didn't even hear him. "Are you in pain? We can take the blade out." She reached for the blade handle, only for the horse to gently pull away. "Are you certain?" She asked. The horse gave a soft snort. Maeven gently ran her hands down its neck.

"Maeven! Get away from that thing!" Roared Trig Trevelyan from behind them, hurrying towards his sister.

"Trig! Look at this poor thing!" Maeven complained to her brother, arms still around the horse's neck.

"I'm looking! Get away from it. It's possessed. An abomination!" He grabbed one of her arms, and attempted to pull her away.

"Don't say that! Look at it, it's perfectly tame." Maeven yanked her arm back to wind around the creature again.

"There is no such thing as a perfectly tame corpse! Let go of it and let someone who knows what they're doing get rid of it." Trig attempted to grab his sister again only to have the animal come between them. "You! Foul creature, release my sister at once!" He snarled.

"What should we do?" Josephine asked anxiously watching the unfolding scene.

"It's not a thing, or a foul creature, it's a poor horse that some horrid person or…thing, has run through with sword." Maeven hotly defended the horse.

"Listen to yourself! You don't go hugging walking corpses! Now let it go!" Trig shouted at her.

"No!" She screeched back.

"I… words fail me." Cassandra said rubbing her face tiredly.

"Maeven Delania Trevelyan! You will release that thing immediately." Trig's voice had dropped to a dangerous growl, his hand now resting on his sword.

"No!" Maeven's eyes went wide. "No! Thing about it strategically!" She yelped, pulling the horse back.

"Strategically?" Trig exclaimed in disbelief, slowly advancing on them.

"Yes, for instance as you keep saying, it's dead. So it can't be killed again. Secondly, its a charger with a sword sticking out of its head. Think of all the enemies it can kill!"

Judging by the rapidly unsheathing blade, Trig was unimpressed. Maeven looked desperately around, seeing no possible way of escape she did the only thing possible.

"If you so much as touch this horse, I will tell mother about Tani!"

Trig froze, "How do you know about Tani!"

"I know a great many things." She quipped. "I will tell them all to mother if anything happens to…" she looked at the horse "this horse."

Trig growled but stopped didn't move. He looked hatefully at the creature. "Fine, but if it hurts anyone but the enemy, I will put it down." He warned.

"Swear it!" Maeven demanded.

Trig gave a snort, "I swear I will not touch that damned creature unless it hurts an ally, then all bets are off."

"You heard him, he sweared." Maeven called cheerily to her advisors before turning back to the hellish creature.

"Maker preserve me." Trig muttered. "Mother will kill me when she finds out." He walked away muttering under his breath, shooting looks at the creature.

"What should we call him?" Maeven asked, leading the undead animal back to her advisors.

"What did its discoverers call it?" Cassandra asked, eyeing the creature warily.

"Bog Unicorn." Leliana said absently, wondering about Maeven's hold over her brother.

"We're not calling him that!" Maeven said flatly. "He needs something that will strike fear into the hearts of men."

"I think he rather does that already." Cullen told her.

"Well, something stately then." Maeven chirped thoughtfully. She turned to the horse and crooned, "Come now, we'll walk around and think of something nice for you."

I'll be honest, this is pretty much how my Inquisitor behaved when she first saw the Bog Unicorn.

Its her brother Trig that I'm not too happy about.

But I'm too tired to care, and I needed to get it out of my head so I can sleep.

Good Night!