1991
Dear Diary,
We all got sorted today. It was pretty fun, although everyone was watching and the hat was kind of just saying the contents of my thoughts aloud, which I didn't really appreciate. Worse still, Harry Potter (yeah, that Harry Potter- we're gonna be at school together) was kind of a dick about it: he kept on thinking 'not Slytherin' and that's just ignorant. Okay, you-know-who was a Slytherin but then so was Merlin so I don't get why everyone's so down on them. Anyway, not only does Harry Potter just straight up insult a quarter of the entire student body on his first day, but the bloody Sorting Hat listened to him. So, are we allowed to just request houses now? I'm really amazed there's anyone left in Hufflepuff (see, Harry, you can just write all your bile down in a diary where no one will ever read it.)
Dear Diary,
Harry Potter's complaining that Professor Snape is mean to him and I keep thinking 'yeah, maybe it's because you dissed his entire house in front of everyone before you'd ever even met any of them'.
1993
Dear Diary,
Harry Potter's claiming that there was a sword in the Sorting Hat.
I put that thing on my head.
I could've been stabbed IN THE BRAIN. I literally had a sword dangling over me when they were choosing my house and they didn't tell me.
What the hell?!
1994
Dear Diary,
Today Professor Moody took me aside and asked if I wanted to help Harry Potter in the Triwizard tournament. I said no because A) that's cheating and B) he clearly shouldn't be in the Tournament anyway because he's not old enough. Professor Moody said he's entered into a magical contract with the goblet and he'll die if he doesn't compete but that doesn't mean has to try. He can just put in no effort and fail monumentally- I mean, he's been doing it in most of his classes for years.