The Secret Life of Brian
by LDEJRuff
Chapter 8 - Vinny Wins Stewie Over
Of course, we all know how Stewie's "bad news about Italian-Americans" plan backfired: Chris delivered good news about Bobby Lamaduro's kid beating his cancer, which healed Vinny's heart.
Anyway, the next day, Vinny was in the kitchen, reading the newspaper and regarding a comic.
"Hey, Doonesbury," he said, "how about a joke that ain't for fancy millionaires?"
After a few seconds, he heard the faint sound of whimpering coming from the backyard. He followed the sound and found Stewie leaning against the back of the house, crying.
"Stewie?" Vinny began. "What's with the waterworks?"
"Oh," Stewie covered, drying his eyes, "um... I-I just... I realized I paid too much for my muffler."
"Come on, kid, quit crying," Vinny disbelieved, as he knew that something was troubling Stewie. "You're gonna get your pants wrinkled. What's the matter."
Stewie sighed seriously. He couldn't hide his hatred towards Vinny any longer. "Fine," he responded, turning to him. "Do you want to know what's the matter? You're the matter!"
Vinny was shocked when he heard this.
"Everyone in this family is so damn thrilled with you," Stewie continued, "they've forgotten all about Brian!"
Vinny started to feel a little guilty.
"Well, I'm not thrilled! I'll never forget Brian!" He began to break down. "He was my best friend. You're not supposed to lose your best friend at my age... You're not supposed to lose him ever!"
Throughout all of this, Vinny thought about keeping Brian's still being alive a secret. Because he couldn't break his promise to Brian, Vinny responded, with a sad look on his face, "Look, Stewie. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but you're gonna be okay."
"Yeah, right," Stewie disagreed, turning away from Vinny. "How do you know?"
"Because," Vinny replied, "I once had a thing, uh... happen to me with some stuff."
"Really?" Stewie turned again, slightly brightening and drying his eyes. "That's what's happening to me! Stuff!"
"You know, before you guys found me at the shop," Vinny began, "I lived with an old man named Leo. It was just him and me in a tiny apartment, and we got pretty tight. He kinda became my whole world. By the time he passed away, it was real tough."
"So," Stewie replied, "how did he die?"
Vinny answered, "He tried to go to a yoga class, and on the first pose, his ball sack split in half."
"Really?"
"Yeah, it was on Dateline, it was a whole thing. Anyway, I guess Leo was kinda like my Brian."
"Well, so, how'd you get over him?"
"Well," Vinny began, sitting on the step, "I met your family at the pet store. When I saw you guys looking for a dog, I kinda sensed you were all going through the same feelings of loss that I was. And it made me think, 'Hey, maybe I was meant to find these guys. Maybe we were meant to be together."
Stewie started to smile, finally understanding how Vinny felt. "You know what, Vinny?" he began. "I'm starting to think that may be true."
Vinny chuckled in gesture. "Bring it in, Stewie."
With that, Stewie gave his new friend a heartwarming hug.
"It worked, Brian," Vinny thought, looking up at the sky. "I finally won Stewie over."
Vinny then let go of Stewie.
"Hey, Stewie," Vinny began, "now that we're pals, maybe you can answer me some'n: Why does your living room smell so much like puke? Somebody throw up a lot in there once?"
"Vinny, my friend," Stewie answered, "you got a lot of stories to catch up on. I've got most of them on DVD."
"Oh, cool," Vinny replied, amazed. "Like, uh, by season and stuff?"
Stewie chuckled. "No, not by season."
"So, how was it Vinny? You and Stewie now friends?"
Brian, spending yet another momentary visit at the Rhode Island Hospital, had texted Vinny.
Vinny texted back, as we enter into screen-split mode. He was in the living room with a then-sleeping Stewie.
"Yup. We had a little pep talk, and everything seems fine. He and I were sharing stories on DVD."
"Really? Including the one when Jillian broke up with me?"
"Mmm-hmm. I even saw the one where the Griffins attempted to replace you with a gray Border Collie wearing a maroon kerchief. It's hard to believe that dog was named 'New Brian'."
"Well, I'm at the hospital watching over Tracy. She still hasn't regained consciousness yet."
"Okay, big bro. Have a good night. Tell Dylan I said hi."
"Will do, Vin. Good night to you. Don't let the bed bugs bite."
Vinny chuckled as his side of the screen expanded.
"Oh, look at that," Lois said, coming in and noticing Stewie sleeping on the couch. "Stewie's sound asleep."
With that, Lois carried her son up to his room while Vinny followed.
"Boy," she continued, "I can't remember the last time Stewie fell asleep this early."
"Well," Vinny said, "I think the little guy had a long day."
"All right," Lois said, "come on, time for bed, Vinny. I'll tell Peter to turn off the nightlight this time."
"No!" Peter shouted from across the hall. "I need it for in case there's witches!"
"You know, actually, Lois," Vinny offered, "I think I'm gonna sleep in here with Stewie tonight."
"Oh, well, isn't that nice," Lois said. "Sleep tight, you two."
With that, she turned off the light while Vinny made himself comfortable next to the crib.
Stewie yawned. "Good night, Vinny," he said to his new friend.
Vinny replied, "Good night, Stewie."
A witch came into the bedroom, addressing the two. "Hey, you guys know which room is Peter's?"
"Across the hall," Vinny answered.
She looked behind herself and was repulsed by the sight of Peter's nightlight. "Ah, it's too bright in there," she said. "Never mind."
With that, she walked away.
Back at the hospital, after the visit was over, Brian returned to his son, who was in the waiting area.
"Well, Dad?" Dylan said.
"She's still comatose," Brian replied. "But I got good news from your Uncle Vinny. He and Stewie are now friends."
Dylan sighed in relief. "That's good to know. I just hope he's keeping his promise."
"I hope so, too, Dylan," Brian assured. "I hope so, too."
Author's note: This isn't the end of the story, however. I still got more chapters to write based on FG1207 and FG1208. We'll see how the story progresses.