His heart dropped with a thud. He tried to remain calm, he should be used to it after all. But it wasn't something you can get used to. Rather, you shouldn't have to. He told Cat to wait there with Guadalupe and that he'll be there in no time. Turning off the phone, he quickly shrugged on his jacket and headed out the door. It was a short walk from here to the hospital. When he'd started living alone he'd made sure he was close. His steps sped up as the scenery changed. He was soon running on the route he had learned so well over the years, the exact same way he had run that night. It didn't take long to get there, considering Magnus' speed and the distance. The tall building seemed even bigger with the worries in his mind.

He calmed himself, slowing both his breath and his steps. The lady on the desk recognized him. She knew what he was here for. He walked past her grieving face and walked to the room number Catarina told him. 303, this was it. He opened the sliding door and stalked past the various injured people to the window side. He saw Guadalupe's backside and Cat who was on the other side of the bed nodded at him. Her head turned and Magnus walked right to her and held her tightly. He only let go after she did and he sat by the chair beside her. Magnus took in a deep breath and looked at him. He was asleep, his usual sarcastic face nowhere to be seen. He looked much younger asleep, more at peace. And then he braced himself before asking the question.

"Is he diagnosed?"

Both of the women's faces darkened. Guadalupe was the one to answer. As she looked him in the eye, he could tell she'd been crying. But he knew it was not in front of anyone, she was a prideful woman who would not show her weak side to anyone.

"Yes, he is."

She didn't bother to say what with, he knew. Behind her, Raphael had opened his eyes, struggling to get up. His mother told him to stay laying down. He obliged in spite of himself, he never disobeyed her. Not because of the previous consequences he'd seen happen but because he knew how hard she worked.

"What are you all doing here? Don't you have work?"

"Nope," he answered.

"Not at the moment," was Guadalupe's reply.

"My shift is over," Cat stated.

He made a face that showed his irritation but it didn't stay for long because he flashed one of his extremely rare smiles right after. As he looked down to his hands, he thanked them for coming. Two of them flashed their smiles right back at him while Magnus stuck to making a silly face. It lightened up the mood. They talked and talked about nothing in particular until the doctor came, Cat stayed with him while Magnus and Guadalupe followed Doctor Carstairs. Jem had been their doctor for as long as they can remember. Of course this was most likely because these types of cases were his specialty and he was good friends with Catarina.

They stood in the hallway as Jem explained to them what the symptoms meant and the possibilities. It's quite obvious what it is, Magnus thought. But James just wanted them to have a glimmer of hope so he went on about the different potentials. He had always been like this, polite and nice to a fault. But he couldn't be angry at the doctor for trying. There wasn't anyone he could direct his anger at, no one was at fault. But that was the thing, he was mad but there was no one to be mad at. So he tried to calm down, to comfort Raphael's mother who most certainly didn't look as though she needed it at first glance.

It took a while to get around to it, but he eventually did. They braced themselves but the throbbing in his heart couldn't be stopped. Jem had eventually left the two of them. Guadalupe returned to Raphael's side while Magnus sat down on the chair just outside the hospital room, collecting his thoughts. It wasn't as though there were many thoughts to collect, just a lot to take in. The wave of memories, the pain of having to go through it again, and that slight hope on the very bottom of all this. Everything all too familiar.

He sat there for an hour, receiving odd looks from the occasional passerby. He paid no mind to them, he was going to sit here as long as it took. Raphael wasn't going anywhere. He wasn't getting out for at least another week. Magnus took a deep breath and finally went in. The patient was awake this time. He was talking nonchalantly to his mother and Catarina, as if the change in scenery wasn't there. As if he wasn't in this hospital bed, surrounded by other injured people. He always made it seem as though he didn't care, if he did then he would make them worry even more, Raphael knew that.

It was already dark, but none of them were going to leave. They were staying at his side no matter what, at least through the night. Magnus joined them in petty talk. People came and went. The four of them laughed, argued, and spoke as if nothing happened.

Raphael was long gone in deep sleep when she called. Rather late, Magnus thought bitterly. She was supposed to be his sister after all. But she was in France, the news might've reached her a little latter than the rest of them. And she said so as soon as he answered.

"YOU KNOW I CAN'T JUST FIND OUT AS SOON AS THIS HAPPENS WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME?!"

"I did, I left a voicemail because you wouldn't pick up and the voicemail is also why your able to know now and call me.."

There was an intake of breath on the other end.

"So?"

"Yeah."

He heard shuffling and there was another pause.

"How is he? Has James told him?"

"I think he knew before the rest of us did. He's sleeping right now, it's 4:30 here, in case you haven't noticed."

"I'm going to be there by tomorrow, I'm packing my stuff right now. Don't you leave his side until I come back."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

"Good, I need to get to the airport now."

With that, she hung up. He sighed, she hasn't been the same since Ralf broke up with her but this seemed to wake her up. Camille was naturally a bit of a bitch but after the breakup she got even worse. He smiled, remembering all the times she walked in on Ragnor and Cat and made such a big fuss about it. It felt like it was just yesterday that happened.

Magnus woke up in a chair, feeling rather stiff. But that was to be expected when you fall asleep in a chair. When he looked up he could see that Raphael was awake, his mother was not. Guadalupe had fallen asleep, her head on top of her crossed arms which lay on Raphael's bed. Catarina had evidently already left, most likely to go make her usual rounds around the hospital since it was her shift today.

Raphael was sitting up, or as much as still being on a bed allowed him to be. He had a sad smile on his face as he looked at his mother. No matter what anyone told him, Magnus understood he couldn't get rid of the guilt gnawing at him for making his mother work much harder than necessary in normal circumstances.

But that wasn't reason enough for Magnus not to scold him for feeling guilty about it. It's as his fault as much as it is anyone's, really. He decided to save him that this early in the morning though. The mood was peaceful and he held no reason to disturb it. None of the other patients were awake yet and he wasn't about to change that. He spoke out to Raphael, asking how long he'd been laying there staring at his mother. He smiled a little at that, supposedly Magnus's humour was finally starting to work on him. Being at the hospital seemed to soften him much more than he ever was. Though what slipped out of his mouth was the usual, sarcastic, witty response.

Their conversation hadn't strayed much from their standard one. The witty replies from both sides, the sarcastic looks, and well, the arguing.

"I thought you had that 'youtube' thing today," Raphael said, making quotations at 'youtube.'

Ah, he'd almost forgotten about that. VidCon, it was today. Magnus wasn't particularly interested in going. He'd gone enough times in his younger days. Not that he was old, but just when he was younger. It'd seemed fun, then. And it was. Until youtubers became underage kids who just wanted to get drunk for the first time. Then, it wasn't as interesting anymore. And he definitely was not intending to go when Raphael was in a state like this.

"I do, but it's not mandatory to attend every year, I would rather stay here than go to VidCon. It's not quite the same anymore, afterparties include underage kids getting hammered and people who can't walk."

"That is what I have been telling you. This new technology is ruining our will to do anything."

"It certainly sounds weird coming from the younger generation."

Silence. It almost seemed deafening until he spoke again, in a more reserved, quiet, tone.

"You should go."

He laughed. There was no way Raphael was being serious. He looked at him again, his face seemed rather serious. Magnus's laughing expression soon turned into one of anger.

"No, I am not going while you're sitting here in this hospital and slowly fucking dying!"

Magnus hadn't bothered with his voice. Naturally, the sleeping people woke up and started watching them. He paid no mind, it didn't matter right now.

"Death is inevitable to any living creature, I am no exception."

"You're kidding me."

"Magnus, I am not kidding. I do not wish for this to get in the way of anyone's life more than it already is."

He spoke of this as if it were his fault. His face had guilt and sorrow practically written over it.

"It's not."

"Dios, stop lying. We both know that isn't true."

Magnus wasn't about to back down, he knew but Raphael didn't need to know. They went at it for another 10 minutes. They were both tired and Magnus just wanted to drink a hot lemon tea, his throat hurt. Guadalupe seemed oblivious to the yelling match however, she hadn't even flinched since they'd started going at it. But when she did, it was out of the fact that she had sleep enough and not because the yelling match. She saw the two of them arguing and abruptly stopped them. She reassured Magnus that her, Catarina, and Doctor Carstairs would be able to take care of Raphael just fine and if anything happened she would call and he'd be able to take a flight right back here. He finally gave in, knowing he can't convince both Guadalupe and Raphael.

He told them he'd see them again and left for his loft. In the short walk there, he decided everything he needed to pack. He was going to leave right after and didn't intend to stay long so, he decided to pack light. It was chilly outside with a bit of a breeze and Magnus wished he'd brought his scarf. He was walking slowly, there was no need to rush. He'd already booked a flight and hadn't remembered to cancel it. It was for 10:30. He checked his phone. 8:30. Considering the time it takes to get to the airport and the time he needed to pack, it seemed enough. He soon approached his door, struggled to get his keys, picked up the one under the matt, and used it to get inside.

He flipped on the switch right beside his entrance. It took a minute for the purple blurs to disappear but they eventually did and he headed to the bedroom. In his closet, he found his travelling backpack and stuffed his essentials inside. From underneath his various shirts he pulled out his suitcase which had already been filled in preparation. He felt something by his feet and looked down to find the Chairman. He forgot to feed him. Magnus crouched down to pick up Chairman and walked to the kitchen. The cat food was in the bottom left side right under the sink. He put the cat down and shuffled through the various canned goods to the large bag of the Siberian's food. Speaking of Chairman Meow, who would take care of him while Magnus was gone?

As the cat ate, he scrolled through his phone trying to find the cat sitter. He called her and found that it didn't really hold a purpose since she'd already been booked. He scrolled through his contacts again to find no one who has time. He searched through his jacket to find a piece of paper and dialed the number.

Thankfully, this time it worked. He cheered a little and soon hung up. Before he left for the airport, Magnus needed a shower. The youtuber left his cat to eat and trudged to the bathroom. When he reached it, he stripped his clothes and stepped in. The water took a little bit to warm up but he didn't mind.

Look at me attempting angst! Wowzers. Seriously, this was really hard to write. I have no idea why. Maybe my procrastination is the problem. Well I hope you guys enjoyed this or not. I mean you shouldn't enjoy my little baby's suffering. Please please leave a review as it is what encourages me to continue writing and puts a smile on my face, and if you have any questions that I can answer (meaning nothing asking about future/past stuff like about Magnus and what it is he keeps remembering and things of the sort) please leave it in the review. I would love it if you favorited this and followed if you can of course! Also I've been looking for a beta and pm-ing people but haven't found anyone interested so if you would like to beta for me please pm me or something and I will be forever grateful.