You guys are absolutely amazing! Thank you all for the support and for the reading, following, favorite and reviewing this story. I didn't think that I would get so much positive feedback. I am really goad that you like this one. I really hope that I don't disappoint you with this update.

Enjoy.

T73.

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I dramatically groan as I open the door to my apartment and I hear Haley and Nick giggle. That sound will always make my day. I laugh as I feel a strong hand giving me a push an stumble into my apartment. Some people might think that we act like that because of the kids, but it is more for ourselves. I still love when I can make Maura smile and see that the smile on her lips' s reaching her eyes and the sparkle in her eyes. Way too often do I have to bite back the words I love you. This is on me, I drew the line. I roll my eyes as Nick barge into me as he makes his way to his room but I let him get him away with it … for now. He probably forgot that he was the one who want to live with me, but many things can change within two days. Perhaps Andrew is his new hero now, but I doubt that as he comes back, flops down on the couch and pretend to busy himself with his PSP.

I splutter and squint my eyes, he probably has forgotten that he was the one who asked to stay at my place.

Maura chuckles and runs an hand down my arm. "He is complicated these days."

"No kidding?" I ask laughingly and turn serious because I know that she is about to leave. I don't want her to leave just yet. "Do you want a cup of coffee or tea?"

"Jane," she says elongated.

I do the same," Maura."

She laughs and sits down on one of the high stools. "Coffee, please."

I give her a wicked grin. "All right."

She's blushing because she knows exactly what I am thinking in this moment and my heart skips a beat. I don't even know why I have such thoughts in this moment and I feel like the biggest jerk in this world. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," she replies and brush my hand with her fingers as I push the mug towards her. "I sometimes think about it too."

If I would hold a cup in my hand in this moment, I'd drop it to the floor, or if I wouldn't have any self-composure. "So, you and Andy." I say and hate myself for it.

Maura licks her lips and cups the mug with both of her hands. "Yes, Andrew and me."

"I didn't think that it would be so serious."

I can see that she would like to avoid this topic because she finds the steaming beverage very interesting. Even though we are acting like grown-ups there are things that piss me off, things like talking about her new lover. But I need to talk about it. It's a kind of self-punishment. I stare down into my own mug and fear the answer to my next question, "Do you love him?"

"I like him." She gives me as an answer which means absolutely nothing in her world. She also cares about Ma and particularly shares a house without being romantically involved.

"Do you love him," I repeat my question and she shifts in her seat.

"He's there for me when I need him." She says.

What the hell? Like I never had been there for her when she needed me most, but I bite my tongue in that moment. I don't want us to separate ways in a fight. I take a deep breath and run an hand through my hair. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing, Jane," Maura asks and her voice is soft.

My eyes are glued to the back of my son's head and have to smile when Haley runs up to the couch, jumps on it and places her head on her brother's shoulder. It's not like they are always a palsy-walsy, but it warms my heart every time they don't end up in a disagreement. "For putting the job before you." I pause and shake my head. "For putting myself before you sometimes." I don't give Maura a chance to reply and walk to the couch where my children are sitting. I flop down with a groan and am surprised that he puts his PSP to the side. He looks me in the eye and hugs me tight, it takes my breath away.

"I love you, Mama." He whispers into my ear and, once again, I wonder what's going on. I make the mental note to ask him later what is going on and why he has such mood changes. "I love you too, Nick." I reply and run my hand through his curly hair. I quirk an eyebrow and try to take a look at the game he's playing. "What are you playing, kid?"

He skids away and smirk. "Nothing."

I know those kind of nothings and I give him a skeptical look. "Uh-huh," I say slowly and it makes him smile even more. The door of my apartment gets opened and Frankie comes in which makes my children jumping up to their feet and they run towards my little brother.

"Frankie." They squeal in unison and I have the feeling that I am going to be deaf for the rest of the day.

I throw my arms up and frown as he catches my little ones in time. "Yay, Frankie's here."

Frankie rolls his eyes and Maura chuckles. He goes over to her and gives her a kiss on her cheek, asking her how she's doing. She informs him how she actually is doing but omit the detail of Andy moving in with her. I know that there's a reason why she's doing it, Frankie doesn't like Andy as well.

We got to know Andy at a family dinner and he gave us the feeling that he's only interested in Maura because of her name, money and connections, he didn't look even one time at Nick or Haley. He pretended that they aren't existing and that made me want to rip his head off, and I saw that Frankie had the same thought.

I take a deep breath and get up from the couch too, walking up to my brother and hugging him tightly.

"How are you doing, Janie," he asks and scrutinize my face.

I hold his gaze and give him a nod. I don't have to put in words how I am doing when the name Andy still lingers in the room. I want to be somewhere else, at the shooting range to be exact, but I gave Maura my word to have our kids for the week and I stay true to my word. And I already have missed one week in their lives, I won't miss another one if I don't have to.

"I should go now." Maura says and starts to gather her belongings.

I come out of my haze and blink a couple of times. "Let me walk you out." I say and Frankie gives me a nod now to signal me that he's looking after the little rascals while I'm gone.

She takes a deep breath and seems to disagree, but then she shuts her mouth again. She bid good bye to Haley and Nick and wishes them a good time with me before we leave the apartment. We don't say a word as we make our way down and towards her Toyota. I know that Maura sometimes needs a little time for herself, it's not like she doesn't love our kids. On the contrary, when it comes to Nick and Haley she turns into a lioness just like me. I open the driver's door after she unlocked the car and stare unashamed at her. "I would like to take you out sometime." What the hell? Where did that come from? I try to don't make things more complicated and then I say something like that? I applaud myself internally and suppress the urge to roll my eyes at myself.

"Jane," Maura says and shifts her weight from one foot to the other.

"As a friend." I toss in before she can finish her sentence. "Just as a friend, Maura. I mean … We used to have lunch together before -" Everything fell apart, I finish the sentence in my head.

She smiles sadly at me and nods. "Lunch sounds great."

"Okay," I say and step to the side so she can get into her car. "Give me a call when you are free."

She smiles and sits down on the driver's seat. "I will."

I wiggle my eyebrows and shut the door. I watch her driving off and run an hand through my hair. I would like to take you out sometime. Really? I groan loudly and head towards the building.

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I tuck Nick up and smile down at him before I kiss his forehead. "Time to go to sleep, little monkey." I say and switch the light on his nightstand off.

"Mama?" He says all of a sudden when I am about to get up to my feet.

I stop dead and sit back down with a frown. "Yes, honey."

He hesitates and starts to fidget the fingers of my right hand. "Is Andrew our dad, our real dad?"

My heart drops and the frown deepens. "Why are you asking that?"

Nick is silent for a brief moment and purses his lips. "He said that he is my father and that I have to do what he say."

I can feel that anger starts to boil in the pit of my stomach and have to swallow the dangerously low growl that threats to escape from my throat because I don't want Nick to think that he did something wrong or that I am mad at him. The only one I am mad at right now is Andy. How do you explain your son that you have absolutely no idea who his biological begetter is? I mean, it could be possible that Maura and I unfortunately picked Andrew Tanner as sperm donor, but that doesn't mean that he has any rights. I sigh and rub his leg. "Does Mom know that Andy said that?"

He bites his bottom lip and shakes his head. "I don't want him to be my dad." He admits and frowns now.

It breaks my heart as I hear him saying that and I am sure that Maura doesn't know that either. "Did you tell Mom that?"

"I don't want to make her cry." He almost whispers. "She cried a lot, you know. Sometimes she still do."

I stick out my bottom lip and have to swallow down the lump in my throat. I don't want to pump my son for information, that's why I bite the question back why my ex-wife's crying. "Maybe she needs a hug then."

"From you." He replies and looks expectantly at me. "Can't you come home and make Mom feel better, Ma?"

Oh, I wish that some things would be simple as that. Coming back home to the person you love more than your own life, that them in your arms and kiss all of their sorrow away. I am the reason that caused Maura's pain, I was the one who ended our marriage and turned my back on my family. I … I thought it would be best for each of us because panic started to get the best of me all of a sudden. I started to become reckless again cuz getting hurt brought me pain that I was longing for to feel alive again. I was emotionally drained and I had the crazy thought that I'd need a change. I felt the need to be free again and that meant leaving those I love behind. Now, I regret it.

I did exactly the same my father did with the difference that my brothers and I had been adults as he left our mother, and even we couldn't understand what went wrong. I can imagine that it's inexplicable for small children. "Let's talk about it tomorrow." I propose because I see that his eyelids are getting heavy and he nods approvingly. I smile broadly and kiss his head on last time. "Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite."

Nick rolls on his left side as I get up from his bed and tugs his hands under his pillow. "Night, Ma."

"Night, buddy." I reply and switch the big light off as I leave his room, leaving the door ajar. I take a deep breath as I walk down the hallway and run an hand through my hair. I except the bottle of beer that Frankie's handing me and sit down at the kitchen counter. "Thanks." I mutter and take a good swig from the bottle.

"How long are Haley and Nick staying," he asks and opens a bottle for himself.

"The whole week." I answer and roll the bottle between my hands. "Did you know that Andy moved in with Maura?"

Frankie chokes on his beer and his eyebrows shoot up high. "What?"

"She told me yesterday when I met with her in Boston Common. He moved in last week."

"I thought she was about to break up with him."

"Apparently she isn't." I reply and a bunch of scenarios are coming to my mind why Andy is moving in with Maura, and the worst of them is making me shuddering. Maura isn't … is she? "Oh God." I groan and bury my face in my hands.

"What's wrong," Frankie asks and I peak through my fingers. I think that answered his question because he makes a gagging sound. "Don't tell me that this prick knocked her up."

"How the hell should I know that, Frankie," I snap at him and nearly jump up to my feet. I don't want to think about Andy putting his hands on my … on Maura. Just because he is a doctor it doesn't mean that he's good enough for her. Even her parents and Hope don't like him, but all of them know better than to say about the relationship. The thought of Maura carrying his child makes me want to throw up.

"You didn't even know that Maura was pregnant with Nick." My brother shoots back with a frown. "And you hold her hand through the whole procedure."

"Shut up," I hiss but have to smile a little. It's true, though. I almost went out like a light when Maura told me that the procedure was a success and that she was pregnant with our first child.

He chuckles and shrugs. "It's still true." He pauses and shakes his head. "I don't get what Maura's seeing in this guy."

"Me neither." I grumble and lift the lid of the pizza box, but then cast away the idea of eating the rest of the pizza. "He wants Haley and Nick to call him daddy."

"Are you serious?" Frankie asks and stares at me like grow a second head. "Does Maura know about that?"

I take a sip of my beer and shake my head. "No. No, she doesn't know about it. Nick told me as I put him to bed, but when Maura's pregnant it would explain why he wants our kids to do so."

"Would it be okay for you if she's pregnant?" He asks me and sighs.

I snort and furrow my brows. I do have to be okay with that if I like it or not. "Do I have another choice, Frankie. I mean, I wanted her to move on and just because she got into a relationship with the first available ass, I would never hate a innocent child."

"I know," he admits and takes a deep breath. "I don't think that Nick or Haley are okay with Andy. You should talk about it with Maura."

I should talk about a lot of things with her, but my brother's right. I have to talk with her about Andy's request. "I will tomorrow." I state and empty the bottle.

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I take deep breath and nod at Susie as I make my way through the Forensic department. It's always strange who Maura's employees are looking at me when I come down, like they're expecting us to fight about something. I roll my eyes and knock lightly at the door frame before I enter my ex-wife's office. "Hey there."

Maura looks up from her laptop and smiles at me. "Jane. I am about to finish my report."

I purse my lips and sit down on the small couch. I'm not here for the autopsy report of the man who obviously got shot because of drugs. I am here to talk about our children and the idiot who calls himself her boyfriend. "I'm not here because of your report, Maura."

"Oh," she says and gets up from her chair, closing the office door. Apparently she thinks that we are going to have a disagreement. "What are we going to talk about?"

"Andy."

"Andrew."

"Whatever." I state and prop my elbows up on my knees and she rolls her eyes. "I think the kids don't get along with him."

She looks long at me and then she scoffs. "The children or you, Jane?"

I frown deeply and blink a couple of times. "This has nothing to do with me, Maura. Nick asked me if And .. rew is his biological father and as I asked him why he said it, Nick told me that Andy wants him to call him daddy." I say and can see that Maura's looking horrified at me. "Look, I know it's none of my business but is there something you wanna tell me?"

She crosses her arms over her chest and her whole body language is changing. "Like what?"

I pull the corners of my mouth downward and shrug. "I don't know. That you are pregnant maybe."

"You're right, it's none of your business."

"Are you -"

"Pregnant?" Maura finishes my question as I trail off and I nod. "No, Jane, I am not pregnant. And even I would be, it wouldn't change my feelings for our children. I carried and gave birth to them. Are you really doubting -"

"Maura, I doubt nothing." I cut in before she can finish that thought and get up to my feet. "I know that you love Nick and Haley above all else, and that you'd throw yourself into the line of fire before they'd get hurt, all right. It's just … Why does Andy -"

"Stop right there." Maura cuts me off and raises an hand, and I do so because I catch her hard eyes. "Since you know that I am dating Andrew , you try to sabotage our relationship."

My jaw drops to the floor and think that I must have heard wrong, because I think my ex-wife accused me of sabotaging her new relationship. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me, Jane." She says and licks her lips.

Okay, she wants a fight? She'll get a fight. "Why should I sabotage your relationship?"

"I don't know. Maybe you didn't get over me." Maura suggests and drops her arms to her sides."

"I was the one who told you to move on." I reply and can't help the cynical laugh that slips from my throat.

"And I should thank you for that," Maura asks and her voice is raising. Tears are springing to her eyes. "We had a life together, Jane, and you ended it. Day in and day out, I have to face you at work and have to pretend that everything is fine. How am I supposed to get over you?"

"Do you want me to ask for a transfer?" I ask louder and furrow my brows. "Because that's what I'm doing if it's helping you. I can move to the other side of the country."

"And leave our children completely," she asks back and a tear off her cheek. "When are you starting to understand that your decisions are not only affecting our lives, Jane? How should I explain Nick and Haley that you left Boston just because you wanted to make things easier for me? They need you and they love you, and I don't want you to miss anything that contain their life."

I stare at her and wait for gird You miss a lot of important moment in their lives already but it doesn't come. I have to force my own tears back 'cause I can tell that there are more unspoken things lingering in the room. I want to go to her a engulf her in a tight hug and never ever let go of her. I am such a idiot. Why did I let go of her in the first place? Just because I suddenly panicked and everything seemed to become too much for me? I mean, we weren't teenagers who didn't know what we're doing when we got married and started a family together. I left her because I had a kind of midlife crises and thought that I need my freedom. Buying a bike or going out a lot would have done the same and give me the time alone that I need sometimes. Hurting Maura so much, it kills me. "I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing, Jane." She whispers and turns away from me.

"I don't know what else to say."

"Then you should leave."

I consider that option and decide that I won't to that. What does Maura want me to say? That I still love her and that I want to come back home? Maybe I should just say that and see how she'll react. "Maura, I -" Her phone cuts me off and I want to throw it somewhere so she can't answer it. I watch her as she talks to the caller and take a deep breath. She ends the call and stands only inches away from me. I hold my breath and have to force myself to keep my eyes open as soon as she starts to caress my cheek with her hand.

Maura opens her mouth to say something, but then she's rushing out of the room.

I look after her and swallow hard. "I still love you unconditionally." I whisper and a sob escapes from my throat. Saying it out loud doesn't make it any easier.