Again, thank you, guys. I am really happy that you support me in this. As you may noticed, I try to keep this story up to date because I have many ideas for this story, and yes it's going to end with Jane and Maura being back together, but it's going to take some time. As in real life, there will be ups and downs. And to ask a other question. No, this story won't be only angst, there is going to be some fluff, promise.

I hope you'll enjoy this chapter as well and that you'll tell me what you think.

T73.

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I look at the TV and frown as a tiny bare feet in front of my nose. My kids and I have built a fort in my living room after I came home from work, made dinner and bathed both of them. Right now we are watching The Lion King and I swear I can sing along with every single song. I saw it a million times, not just because of Nick and Haley, secretly it's one of my favorites.

I exactly can tell to whom that foot belongs because of the birthmark on the ball of the said foot and I start to run my index finger p and down the sole until its toes starts to curl and until I hear a girly giggle.

Haley's head pops up at my own feet now and she tugs her legs in. "Mama."

"Wha-at," I ask with the same dramatic tone than hers.

"Stop!"

"Hey, you stick your smelly feet under my nose." I reply and sit up. "You're the one who has to stop."

"I don't have smelly feet." She replies with a pout and I arch an eyebrow.

Nick groans and turns on his back just to pinch his sister in the side.

"Nick." I warn him but Haley's already throwing herself at him and I am afraid that they get into a serious fight. That would be the icing on the cake, taking both of my children to the ER after they tried to cleave each others head open. Maura would love that. But it turns out that my worries are unfounded as my son starts to tickle Haley side and I have to smile as she tries to defense herself with a pillow. "Give your sister the chance to breath." I tell Nick and take a swig of my soda. Maura and I made it a habit not to drink alcohol in front of the kids, with the exception of dinner. Then we always had a beer or a glass of wine.

"Mama, what is love?" Haley asks all of a sudden and sits up.

I almost spit the soda in my mouth across the room and frown deeply. "Love?"

"Yeah."

I blink a couple of times and wish that I'd have the omnisciently brain of Maura. "Love is an emotion that you are feeling when you truly care about someone. You do anything to make the person that you love happy. I do anything to make you guys happy because I love you."

"Do you love Mom?" Nick asks and his expression is curious.

I hold his gaze and furrow my brows. "I love your Mom very, very much, Nick."

Haley is crawling up to me to look me straight in the eye. "Do you love Mommy the way you love us?"

I have to bite back a laugh as I look into the hazel eyes that she got from her mother and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. Note to myself: Don't have children with a genius. Would I give my kids back? No frigging way! I have no idea how to explain the difference of motherly love and the love of two adult persons, I thought that I'd have more time left to go. "I love Mom as much as I love you, but when two adults love each other then they have other ways to express their feelings. They kiss on their lips."

"And buy presents." She toss in.

"Yes," I say laughingly.

"Chocolate."

"For example."

"Or pizza." Nick adds with a smile on his lips as he sits up.

"Rather less." I have to laugh and ruffle his hair. "Unless you have lunch or dinner."

"Cookies?"

"Yes, cookie monster." I say and laugh as his eyes light up because he really loves cookies, I don't know where he got that from. I suspe -

"Vanilla ice cream." Haley brings me out of my train of thoughts and I splutter. Oh, boy, our kids do have a sweet tooth.

"Rather less, sweetie." I say and smile at her. "Ice cream melts."

"Yum."

"Yuck." Nick replies and scrunch his nose up

"What are you bringing Mommy when you come home?"

I don't have to think twice about the answer and smile dreamily. "Fudge clusters. Lots and lots of fudge clusters."

Haley starts to play with my curls and frowns. "When are you coming home?"

I sigh heavily and reach out for Nick, running an hand down his arm. "It's not that easy, Haley. I did a lot of things wrong."

"But you love us." She retorts and frowns.

I run my hand over her hair and smile as Nick lies down close to me and places his head over my heart. "I love you and your brother to the moon and back , baby."

Haley lays down and frowns. "Can Mommy come here?"

I hesitate for a second and glance at my phone that is laying on the coffee table that we pushed to the side. "Haley, can you give me my phone, please."

She doesn't need a second and I have the device in my hand.

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I lay flat on my back and stare up at the ceiling, enjoying the moment. My children are curled up against us and fast asleep, and the woman I love is laying right beside me. I know that it is just a pretense for Haley and Nick but it still feels good.

I was surprised that Maura replied my text message almost instantly and that it read that she'd love to come by and share her evening with us. More or less I had to wrestle her down after she arrived and saw that we digged ourselves in. But why am I complaining? I'm around the three persons who means the world to me, I have no reasons to complain.

Anyway, my body tense up as Maura slips an hand under my shirt and I look down at her. I smile at her tell that it is okay as she is about to remove her hand from my bare stomach. I can see in her eyes that she needs the connection too. I look back down at her and the fingers of my left hand have a life of their own as they brush Maura's cheek. My heart skips a beat as she doesn't brush them off, instead her eyes flutter shut and I wonder if she and her boyfriend ever exchange affection, or … No, I don't wanna go there right now. I am brought back out of my thoughts as Maura intertwine our fingers and look once again at her. My heart stops dead when I see the look in her eyes and my lungs don't know anymore how to work, that's why I stop breathing at all. I sate this kind of look more than once and it always took my breath away in the past. The voice in the back of my mind is yelling at me to stop it right here and right now and to get some distance between us, but the other voice, the small nagging one is gaining the upper hand. The voice that tells you to touch the burning candle though you know that it's going to burn you.

I am well aware of the fact that if we are going to cross that line tonight, it won't do any good. I am aware that it would only complicate things and that it would mean that Maura is cheating on Andy with me, and I don't even know if this would be only a one-night stand, but I don't give a damn about those things right now. I can deal with the consequences in the morning. Right now, I crave for Maura's kiss, her touch and against her body against mine.

I turn on my right side and prop myself up on my elbow. I search her face and frown slightly. I need to know that she understands what is about to happen and that she wants it too. If I see the slightest hint of insecurity I am not making a move on her but I don't see signs of hesitation.

Maura holds my gaze and starts to trail my jaw with her fingers, and then my bottom lip. It's something she has done in the past, when it was still just the two of us.

I bend my head a little and hear a faint moan as I brush her lips for the very first time since a while. It is a sound that always spurs me and I press my lips to hers without any hesitation. My hears starts to speed as she kisses me back immediately and I don't have a clue how but I am hovering over her and have to back a growl as she drags her nails over my back.

Either of us is panting as I pull away and I see that she has the same thought then me.

"Lets get these guys to bed and lets take this to the bedroom." She whispers and I look at sleeping Nick and Haley.

"Yes, we don't want them to wake up and see us doing things that are not meant for their eyes." I whisper back but doesn't make a move to get up to my feet.

She tilts her head to the side as soon as I pay a little attention to her neck and smile to myself as she starts to squirm a little underneath me.

"Jane." She whispers and gasps. "Jane, the kids."

My head shoots up and frown. Right, we are still in the living room and the kids could wake up if we get a little louder and that's something neither of us wants to happen.

Neither Haley nor Nick stirred a little bit as Maura and I carry them to their rooms and tuck them up, and it's really something that surprise us because normally they'd start to grouch and trying to convince us that they're not tired which we wouldn't believe because they would do it with closed eyes.

We head straight to my bedroom after we kissed either of them good night and got rid of our clothes as soon as the door fell shut behind us.

I am hovering again over Maura's naked body and suddenly feel very nervous. I never have taken a woman to my apartment or to my bedroom since I moved in here. It's not like I lived a life of sexual abstinence since Maura and I separated, but the sex with other women never meant anything to me since then. That's why we spent the night at their place or a motel.

Maura runs her hands over my shoulders and looks me deep in the eye. "Jane, why are you shaking?"

I haven't noticed that and hunch my shoulders. "I would be in idiot if I'm not excited for being with you, Maura." I reply and arch an eyebrow.

She scoffs and rolls her eyes but then she turns serious and pulls my head down.

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My eyes shoot open as birds' twittering reach my ears and groan because the sun that is filling my bedroom is blinding me. I try to shield my eyes until they got adjusted to the brightness. The pictures of last night's events are floating back to my mind and I am not really sure if they are real or not. I lift the sheet off my body and groan even louder as I stare down at my naked body. Well, that would explain why neither Haley nor Nick invaded my room by no. I doubt that my ex-wife sneak out of the apartment with the knowledge that our children are here too. I take a look at my alarm clock and am more than sure that Maura's still around because at 9am normally they are full of beans. I sigh and run my hands over my face, now I start to regret that Maura and I had sex last night. Not because it was bad, on the contrary, it was mind-blowing, like in the beginning of our relationship, but Maura is in a relationship and I made her cheating. I know, I know, it always take two for that but still.

I get out of my bed and head to towards the ensuite bathroom to take a quick shower before I join my family for breakfast.

After I did so and got dressed in sweats and a black shirt. I have to smile when I see Nick and Haley sitting at the small dining table and that they are shoving pancakes into their mouth. "Morning." I say and they turn their heads to beam at me.

Maura's standing behind the kitchen counter and avoid eye contact with me, licking her lips. "Good morning, Jane."

Yeah, that's what I've been expecting, the awkwardness the morning after. I take a deep breath and get myself a cup from the cupboard so I can have my first caffeine boost of the day. "How have you guys been sleeping?"

"Great." Haley answers and Nick's nodding his head because he can't speak right now.

I clear my throat and pour myself a cup of coffee. "And how did you sleep, Maura."

A blush is creeping up her cheeks and she shoves a plate with pancakes to me. "I slept fine."

I nod slowly and grab my plate to carry it over to the dining table. I sip the coffee and look at my daughter and my son. "What do you guys wanna do today?"

"You don't have to work today," Maura asks and she sounds a little surprised.

I shake my head and furrow my brows. "No, I asked Cavanaugh if I can take the rest of the week off after … I was in Forensics. Apparently I have enough overtime to take the whole month off, and the next month."

Haley's eyes light up as she looks at me. "Really?"

I nod slowly and swallow my first bite. "Yes, really."

"Can we go to the fair?"

"Sure."

Nick turns in his chair to look at Maura. "Are you coming with us, Mom?"

I can see sadness flicker in her eyes and she takes the coffee decanter into her hand, pouring herself a cup. "I'm afraid I can't, sweetie. I have to work a little bit today."

It breaks my heart to see the disappointed looks of my kids and can see that Maura want to be anywhere but here. I get up from the chair and walk over to her, placing an hand on the small of her back and she tense up. "Come on, sit with us, at least for breakfast."

"Jane." She says low and presses her lips together.

Why am I suddenly feeling like I forced Maura to sleep with me, and why is she giving me that feeling? "Why are you acting like this?" I whispers and a deep frown crawls up on my forehead.

She still doesn't look at me. "I don't know what you mean."

"You act like I forced you to sleep with me last night." I hiss and have to keep my temper in check. "I didn't shave a gun in your chest and said Sleep with me or I'll pull the trigger."

Her eyes find mine and I swear, if looks could kill, I would drop dead. "What happened last night won't happen again. I am in a relationship, Jane."

"So, when you came here you left your oh so great relationship to get tucked by me?" I growl low and forget the presence of Haley and Nick. "Because you didn't moan his name in my bed." And how she moaned. It was almost too loud so I had to silence her with a kiss. I don't know why I have to ruin one of the best moments in my life since a while, but her behavior angers me and his name is my bête noire. Just shutting up would be the best option now, but not in my world and not when it comes to Maura. I perhaps would accept the fact that she moved on if she'd chose a person who is not so self-centered and such an dickhead, and who really cares about her. Maybe then it would be easier to finally let go of her.

Her hand is twitching and I prepare for the searing pain in my cheek. She closes her eyes and scowl at me. "Could you please keep your voice down."

Her voice brings me back to the now and here and I look at Nick and Haley, who became unusually quiet, something they do when they have to witness us arguing. Damn it, I was hoping that they don't have to see this anymore. I close my eyes and trail my fingers over a brow. "Look, I care about you, Maura."

She turns to me and her face is unreadable and her voice raises, "Really? You care about me? Is that why you packed you thinks all of a sudden and walked out on us? Is that your way to show us how much you care? As we became a couple you said, no you promised me, that you would always be there and that you would never let me down. You also promised that Nick and Haley, but you became a weekend mother. You left us for no reason, Jane. Not you had to explain why their Mama isn't coming home anymore or why our kids have to live at two different places, of why we can't all the funny things that they have been doing with you when they stayed here." She pauses and start to shake her head. "Jane, I was waiting for you. I was hoping that you'll come back to your senses and explain why you left. Obviously I was wrong."

I don't know why but my body refuses to move and my brain tells me to drop the subject, but if you know me. That's not my style. "I tried to protect you." I blurt out and my eyes are huge. I can see that Nick and Haley are turning their heads to us .

"Protect us from what," Maura asks and her expression is confused. "There was no threat, Jane. We were safe, we were okay."

I have to blink a couple of times and frown deeply. "Every time I thought that everything is fine or perfect, something happened, Maura." I reply and clench my fists. You almost got … You got hurt by Hoyt because of me, Maura. And then there was Dennis and then the incident when you got arrested and kidnapped. And every time I almost lost you."

"But you made it in time to help me, to save me." Maura replies and her voice is soft.

I know that I had pipe dreams as I got to know that she and I really were about to start a family. I saw threats everywhere and I think that was the time when panic started to flood my body, but back then I still had my reactions under control. Paranoia, I think to myself and swallow hard. So many people had been after my blood since I became a Homicide detective. Well, I pissed a lot of people off and I would react the same way, but I never let my private life affect my work … until now. "By a hair's breadth, Maura. I don't know what I would do if anything happens to you, Nick or Haley because of me."

She looks long at me and starts to shake your head. "And because of all of your benevolence you lost me at all." She says and turns away to walk over to the table and kiss our children goodbye.

I close my eyes and let my head hang down until I hear the door opening and closing. I let Maura's words sink in and realize that she isn't wrong. I take a deep breath and roll my eyes as I look up and see that the pancakes on my plate are gone. I know that Nick is innocent and tickle my daughter's side as I sit back down. I sigh as she only smiles at me and doesn't laugh her head off and sip my lukewarm coffee.