The first thing that I recognize is the very, very disgusting and sterile smell of a hospital when I slowly but surely come back to senses. And then there is this nagging peeping of the heart monitor that fills the room. Somehow I can remember most of the things as I got knifed and the look of Andrew as it seemed like that I'm passing away on the sidewalk. I have absolutely no idea for how long I've been out and everything in my body hurts like hell. A groan makes its way out of my throat and I don't dare to open my eyes because I can sense the presence of someone in my room. I bet it's Ma who's going to cry as soon as I open my eyes and complain about my recklessness as soon as I'm fully awake. But maybe it's just Frankie or Frost who see how I'm doing to keep the others in the loop. This isn't the start in the weekend I've imagined. I try to take a deep breath and wince as soon as pain shoots through my entire body and open my eyes to see who I have to face.

I crack my eyes open and lick my dry lips, taking my time to adjust my eyes to the hurting light in the room. My eyes find the person sitting in a chair close to the bed and know that I've been longer out like it feels because she sits there and reads a book. I'm sure that I'm told that I've been in coma for three months. "Hey there," I croak and am relieved to see her instead of someone else.

Her eyes snap up and she lowers the book into her lap. "Hey," she whispers and a smile grazes her lips.

My eyes drop shut again and I realize that it's still hard to take a deep breath so it can't be that long ago when Andrew stabbed me. "How long have I been out?"

"Three days," she answers unceremoniously and presses her lips together.

I take a moment and close my eyes for a second. "How bad is it?"

"Bad enough to keep you for a couple of weeks at home." Maura whispers and I think she prepares herself for a little disagreement.

"Andy?"

"He got arrested by Frankie and Frost. We don't have to worry about him anymore."

I let the words sink in and try to force my body to work again. "I didn't see that coming. I thought he'd be out of the picture. Maybe it wasn't all too smart to beat him up. I should've known better."

"Neither of us could have known that he snapped completely, Jane." Maura says with a frown.

All of a sudden, I feel bad for everything that happened in the past and I lean my head back. All of this is my fault somehow. It wouldn't have come this far if I'd behave like a grown up. Well, payback is a bitch, right? I dare to look at Maura and furrow my brows. "How's Ma?"

"She is not very pleased about the fact that you gave up in front of the Dirty Robber." Maura says and smiles a little.

My eyebrows shoot up high as soon as I hear those words. "She was more worried about the reputation of the damn bar?"

"Of course she is." Maura replies amused and shakes her head. "No, she was worried sick. I had to send her home to get some rest and a shower."

"Your decent way to tell someone that they smell." I chuckle and make a face as pain shoots through me.

"I was more worried about her well-being." She states and smiles. "Though I know that she didn't get much rest."

I smile tiredly and reach out for Maura's hand. Even though I was out for three days, it feels like a thousand years I touched her the last time. "What about Haley and Nick?"

Maura takes my hand in her own and takes a moment. "They are fine, Jane. I told them that you won't come home for a couple of days because you got hurt. They'd ask if they can visit you."

"No," I say vehemently and shake my head, frowning. "No, I don't want them to see me in such state, Maura. They didn't see me for a couple of months, days won't hurt to much. I -"

"You're only human, Jane." She cuts me short and tries to sooth me with a smile but it doesn't work the slightest bit.

I close my eyes and shake my head, and the damn heart monitor gives me away. I know that I tried to make up for the time that I missed and now a nut named Andrew Tanner takes more time away from me. I don't need to be a doctor to know that the damn stabbing caused a great damage, I already saw myself standing in front of the pearly gates. I mean, frigging Andy is a doctor, was. I'm surprised that I still have a pulse.

"Calm down, Jane." Maura says and squeeze my hand. "Rest, recover and come home. Everything else doesn't matter."

"I'm surprised that I'm still alive." I confess after a time of silence and frown as our eyes meet. "I mean, Andy's a doctor, he know how to injure a person to take their life."

"I … He …" Maura stammers and presses her lips together. "He's in psych ward for now."

"Seriously," I ask in disbelief. "His lawyers try to declare him insane?"

"Perhaps," she whispers and sighs. "Let's not think about that now."

I have to agree, I don't want to think about that now. "No, I'm too tired and too drugged. I sigh and look up at the ceiling. "You know, I thought I would die on the sidewalk and I thought that my life would flash before my eyes. And that I'd see a tunnel of light before I knock on heaven's door. But all I could think of was that Ma is seeing me dying and Frankie and you. And that I've disappointed all of you, that I never became the person that I always wanted to be." I pause and turn the corners of my mouth downward. "And it got clear to me how lucky I am to have you in my life."

"I like the drugged you." Maura says with a smile but I can see that she's relieved that I tell her my last thoughts before I died.

I don't tell her that because later I can't remember my words, I will them remember them to a T. I just need to get this off my chest right now. Perhaps I feel quite vulnerable in this moment and because Maura and I are really alone. I smile and furrow my brows. "I also realized how much I missed and how bad I treated you. Four months doesn't make up anything. And I don't … I know that we're working out this time, Maura. I'm one thousand percent sure about that. I mean, I finally became a grown-up. I thought that I'd be ready for everything but obviously I was wrong about that. But I had enough time to think about everything I have done wrong in the past, especially the last two days."

"You were the last three days unconscious, Jane." Maura states with a smile and quirks an eyebrow.

I take a moment and frown a little, shrugging. "Enough time to recall the past." I say and smile sheepishly when she rolls her eyes. "Anyway, I've been thinking a lot. And I don't want to watch how you start to date another nutcase."

"Jane, what are you trying to say?"

I look long at her and know that this is probably the worst timing ever, but being attacked and stabbed by Maura's ex made me some things realize again. And then there were Frankie's and Frost's stupid questions before everything went wrong. I raise my eyebrows and hunch my shoulders. "Let's try it again."

She looks puzzled at me and I can see that she wonders if I hit my head before I passed out. "Jane, we're already trying it again, and we are working out."

I sigh loudly and nod slowly. "I know, I didn't mean us as a couple." I pause and roll my eyes at myself. Yeah, that's a great way to broach that subject. "I mean us as a couple, but I'm not talking about a … Maura, I love you more than my own life and I love our kids. I came to the realization that I don't want to miss anything anymore that includes one of your lives. And I can't imagine a life without either of you in it. I -"

"Wait a second." Maura interrupts me and furls her eyebrows. "Jane, are you trying to ask me if I will marry again?"

I stare blankly at her and furrow my eyebrows. But then I nod slowly and swallow hard. "Um, I … I guess that's what's I'm trying to do right now, yes." I take a deep breath and lick my lips. "What do you say?"

She more or less stares at me like she tries to figure out if I mean it serious and my heart drops because her face is unreadable. I'm not used to this, normally she's like an open book to me. All right, being stabbed and almost dying isn't the greatest proof of love, but it does say a lot. I start to worry my bottom lip and hold my breath as a small smile graze her lips. I'm pretty sure that this is finally a good reaction of Maura.

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Of course I wasn't going to kill Jane, I never had the plan to do so, but hurting her physically in this story has been in my head for a while now.

However, I know this is another short chapter but I hope you like it anyway. And I'd like to thank you for all the support and your reviews, and for the reading.

Enjoy this little update.

T73.