I sit with Haley on the floor of our living room and can't help the smile while I watch her drawing a picture with wax crayons. Since three weeks I'm back at home and since four weeks I know that Ma's going to freak out because Maura said yes to my failed proposal. She already freaked out as she started to make plans for our first wedding, she'll be thrilled to do it all again. I know that Ma loves to plan weddings, of to plan at all.
I hear a excited barking and look up to see if Nick and Bear, who are enjoying their time in the backyard, are still alright. I sigh and catch his eyes before I focused back at my daughter, but in that second I hear a loud laugh and frown because it's Haley that break out in a fit of laughter. I look at her and furrow my brows. "What's the matter, princess?"
Haley shakes her head and glance at me like her mother when she thinks that I make a funny face because a thought I had. "You look funny."
I blink a couple of times and a frown find its way upon my forehead. "Why do I look funny?"
She's smirking coyly and shrugs without answering my question. She focuses back on her drawing and act like she didn't say anything.
God, I already know that this girl is going to cause me a lot of headache when she's in the age of dating, both of my children will be cause of headache when they start to date. I better don't start thinking about that right now. We still have a lot of time watching Disney movies and drinking chocolate milk.
The front door opens and I turn my head to see who's entering the house without permission. I furls my eyebrows as Maura comes in with a dead serious face and I know that something's wrong immediately. I didn't do anything that could've pissed her off so I'm sure that it has to be work related. I rub Haley's back gently and catch her attention with that. "Baby, why don't you go and check what your brother's playing with Bear? I'll join you in a minute."
Haley hesitates for a second and looks worriedly at me after she caught the look of Maura. "Mama, do you have to go away again?"
I smile reassuringly at her and shake my head. "No, I don't have to go away again." Or I hope so. My answers seems to calm her down because she jumps up to her feet and runs towards the open glass door that leads to the backyard. I roll my eyes and scoff. I don't know how many times we have to tell Haley and Nick not to run in the house. "And do not run in the house." I say a little louder so Haley can hear me. I didn't listen to my mother either when I was in her age. Well, I still don't listen to Ma sometimes. I become aware of the fact that Maura's standing in the living room and get up from the floor with a loud groan. I almost forgot that I'm not the youngest anymore. There is nothing better than children to remind you how old you are. I wipe my hands in my jeans and turn to Maura to face whatever's about to come. My heart drops as soon as Frankie enters the house as well and see that his expression isn't any different than Maura's. Something tells me that Korsak or Frost got hurt in the line of duty and that either of then won't come back to work. I swallow hard and look at either of them. "What's wrong?"
Maura's pressing her lips together and seems to look for the easiest way to break the news, looking at my brother.
Frankie is silent for a second and furls his brows. "Jane, there has been a shootout when Korsak, Frost and I tried to arrest a suspect of our latest case."
"Korsak?" Is all I can think of and all I can ask in this moment. Korsak's like my father to me and I am not quite sure how I am supposed to do the job without him.
"He's fine."
I furls my eyebrows and the next thought that crush my mind is just as painful as the thought of losing Korsak. "Frost?"
Before I know it Maura's at my side and frowns. "They're both fine, Jane."
Relief is washing over me and I release my breath I was holding. Losing one of them would be like losing a beloved family member. Either of us went through hell in the past and we got through everything, most of the times. Confusion is taking over and I look questioningly at Frankie and Maura. "So why are you making faces like that?"
Maura doesn't answer my question and look back at Frankie.
He takes a deep breath and shifts his weight from one foot to the other. "Do you remember a officer named Jason Matthews?"
This question is confusing me even more and I furls my eyebrows. Of course I know the name Jason Matthews, he and I gratitude the same day from the Academy and shared a patrol car for over a year. Jason and I also have a beer or two every now and then at the Dirty Robber. Jason always said that he'd prefer the days on the streets instead of sitting at a desk most of the days. I never had the feeling that I had to prove myself when Jason was around and that's what I always cherished. He aware of what I'm capable to do. Jason also was a backup of us when we arrested someone, and he always did a hell of a job. I start to nod slowly and furrow my eyebrows. "Sure I remember him. Why do you bring him up."
"Jane, maybe you should sit down." Maura says gently and tries to guide me to our couch.
I already heard that tone in her voice. It's that kind of tone that tells you that a person you cared about passed away and that it's shattering your world. Well, Jason and I had been friends for years, not close ones but friends. "I don't want to sit down. Just tell me."
Frankie sighs heavily and nods to himself. "Jason got shot during the operation and … he didn't make it. I'm sorry, Jane."
I let the words sink in but they feel surreal. Jason got through all these years without being injured and then there's one lunatic who shoots at him and kill him? I blink a couple of times and stare down at my feet. I run an hand over my face and sigh heavily. "Does Karen know?"
"No, not yet. Cavanaugh and Jason's supervisor going to tell her."
"She's pregnant with their fourth child," I whisper more to myself and hold Maura's hand tightly. I'm sure that I'm hurting her but she doesn't flinch or say a word. "God." I walk to the couch and sit down on it. Jason always said that I'd be the cause of his death when we've been on the same patrol, and now he really got killed in the line of duty. And somehow I feel responsible for it, even though I haven't seen him for weeks. I can feel Maura's sitting down next to me and then I feel her hand on my back. I take a deep breath and look at my brother. "He was a good cop and a better man."
"I know," he whispers and I can see that he means it. He has been working with Jason as well and knows that I'm telling the truth about Jason Matthews.
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I hear Maura sighing loudly and turn my head to look at her." What?"
She sighs once more and frowns. "Lieutenant Cavanaugh won't be happy to see you at the station."
I roll my eyes as we enter BPD headquarters and my shoulders slump. "I'm not here to work, Maura. I'm here to pay Jason Matthews my last respect."
"That's what funerals are for," she replies and push the button of the elevator.
"Maura, you know the thrill." I state and catch the glances that some of the officers give me before we step into the elevator.
Maura sigh again and steps closer to me. "I know. And I still don't like this kind of tradition. I'm always afraid that they're saying your number and name instead of someone else's. I rather hear a other name. Does that make me a bad person?"
I give her a chased kiss on her lips and shake my head before the elevator door opens. "No, it only makes you a wife who's worried about her … wife."
"I'm not married anymore."
"But soon you will be again." I shoot back with a coy smile and she scoffs. We emerge from the elevator at the third floor and enter the bullpen in the middle of something that seems to be Cavanaugh's speech. I catch his eyes and he trails off for a second. I know I'm not on duty but this means a lot to me and because Jason's killer is already behind bars, I have no reason to stay longer than appropriate.
The bullpen is silent and Cavanaugh walks to the shelf where the radios are placed, switching one of the devices on.
I take a deep breath and take Maura's hand in my own, waiting for the radio message. There is nothing than crackling in the first place which is really scary. Then it finally comes.
1-2-8 …
I clench my teeth and have to swallow hard when no answer's coming, squeezing Maura's hand tight and she looks at me.
1-2-8 ...
I can see that Frost's dropping his chin to his chest and how he shakes his head.
This is the last call for radio number 1-2-8. No response from Sergeant Jason Matthews. Radio number 1-2-8 is out of service after twenty-two years and ten months of police service. Although you are gone, you will never be forgotten. Rest in piece, our friend.
Everyone's getting back to work after the final radio call for Jason and I feel a little lost. I smile at Frost as he comes up to me. "Hey."
He nods and frowns. "Hey. How are ya feeling?"
I look around and smile shyly. "Under this circumstances, I'm fine. I'll take my time to recover fully, enjoy the time I have with the kids."
"You're back," Korsak asks and I open my mouth to answer.
Cavanaugh does that for me as he comes up, "Rizzoli, you're not supposed to be here."
I furrow my eyebrows and look at my friends. "I … uh … Sergeant Matthews was a friend of mine, Sir. I'm just here do pay my last respect."
He eyes me skeptically and nods. "I know. Can't wait to have you back."
"Thanks, Sir," I say and can't help the little smile.
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So, one chapter left to go.
Thanks for all the support you guys gave me. I hope you'll enjoy this update.
T73.