Epilogue
"Oh, my gosh! Is that really Luigi!"
"Whoa! Look at him, taking on Master Hand!"
"Yeah! Green man is really strong!"
"Yoshi!"
"Puff! This is one of the most inspirational things I've ever seen!"
"Bottom tier my derriere!"
"Pika!"
"I knew you could do it, L!"
"Luigi is number one! Yes!"
"Poyo!"
"Yep, that's mio fratellino! Bravissimo, Luigi!"
They all crowded around the new piece of paper, gushing, the tier list all but forgotten. Mario, DK, Link, Samus, Yoshi, Kirby, Fox and Pikachu had to repeat the news in order to fully process it as true. Luigi had won a grueling battle against Master Hand! Aside from those eight, three more fighters expressed happiness for the man in green. The psychic boy from Onett. The Balloon-type Pokémon. The F-Zero racer and bounty hunter, the same one who mocked him that afternoon. He kept pressing Luigi for details, but the plumber was tight lipped, choosing to wait until a later time to relate the whole story.
"Guess a lot of people underestimated you," said Douglas Jay Falcon.
"I was hoping when you'd figure that out," Luigi said a bit pointedly.
Falcon laughed nervously. "You know I didn't mean what I said, right?"
"Yes. You were drunk, and you let your high ranking get to your head," Luigi told him.
"Wow, after all of this, you deserve a nice, long nap," warbled Jigglypuff.
"I just had one," smiled Luigi.
"Did you really win against Master Hand? He's a tough opponent!" interjected young Ness.
"Hey, once you put your mind to something, you're likely to do it," counseled Luigi.
Then, Fox turned to face Luigi.
"Some of us used to take you at face value, based on—you know," he said solemnly, "but we never will again. Cross our hearts."
Luigi looked him straight in the eyes. "I'm going to hold you to that," he warned, his tone dead serious.
"Wait a minute! What are we all getting serious for?" crowed Mario. "Let's have three cheers for my wonderful baby bro!"
The red-capped hero then hoisted Luigi onto his shoulders.
"Hip-hip…" shouted Mario.
"Hooray!" joined in everyone else.
"Hip-hip!"
"Hooray!"
"Hip-hip!"
"Hooray!"
"This calls for a celebration!" intoned Link.
Everyone agreed, and off they went to the lounge.
"Poyo!" squealed Kirby as he led the way.
In an undisclosed location, Master Hand greeted a man dressed in a suit. "Hello, sir," he greeted.
"Master Hand," said the man. "It's nice to see you. You look wonderful."
"You, too," replied Master.
"So," said the man. "What's on your mind?"
"I think it's time we stop underestimating Luigi," said Master, getting right down to business.
"I concur," said the man.
"I have a video recording of a one-on-one duel between us," Master went on. "I'd like for you to take a look and see what I'm talking about."
The man was silent as he watched the videocassette.
"Hmm," he said finally. "Luigi's skills in battle are not to be looked down upon."
"And yet they have been," sighed Master Hand. "Now, here's my proposal. I think that after all of these years, a little—reparation—is in order."
"Reparation, or reward?" questioned the man.
"Luigi scored tons of G, along with the Bonus Points he accumulated during his trek through 1P Mode," said Master. "The victor's purse has made him—quite rich. But I think we should add another reward to that."
"Ah, let me guess—you want an article about him in that Nintendo Power magazine?"
"Better," winked Master. "A free mansion."
The man raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Free mansion?"
"'Free' meaning that he doesn't have to pay any G for it," clarified the Hand. "However, he's going to have to do some work for it. That's where you come in."
"Ah, I see. All you're asking is for him to star in his very own game!"
"Exactly. Make Luigi the hero, and the setting this wonderful mansion. But I don't want a lather, rinse and repeat of 'rescue the Princess from the turtle'. Let's make the plot something new, something—Luigi."
"Who is the one person Luigi loves more than anyone else?" asked the man.
"Mario, his big brother," Master said instantly, "and instead of any old mansion—let's put him in a haunted mansion." He was starting to get excited.
"Luigi doesn't like ghosts very much," murmured the man.
"That's just the point! What I saw that day was courage in a nutshell. If he can overcome his fear of me, then can't he overcome his phasmophobia?"
A lightbulb went off in the man's head. "I've got it!" he cried. "We'll put him in a game in which he must venture through a haunted mansion to rescue his trapped brother!"
"And not just from any spook," added Master. "Let's have the final boss be the most terrifying spook of all—the King of all Boos."
"Of course, Luigi will need a weapon to keep all of this at arm's length," said the man.
"I'm drawing inspiration from that 80s comedy about ghosts," mused Master.
"A proton pack?"
"I'm leaning towards a vacuum cleaner. A vacuuming device which sucks up Boos and ghosts. Call it—the Poltergust 3000."
"And Luigi won't have to go through all of this alone, either. Let's give him a mentor, an elderly paranormal researcher known as Professor Elvin Gadd."
"E. Gadd. I like the sound of that," giggled Master.
"So," said the man. "What exactly do you need from me?"
"I'm talking about a business proposition," Master said smartly. "I help you make this Luigi game happen, and you work all of the kinks out of the second Smash tournament I'm planning to hold two years from now, which includes fixing all of the problems which hinder Luigi in this one. That's the deal, and it's not subject to negotiation. Understood?"
"Sure," said the man. "It's a deal."
The duo shook hands, thus laying the groundwork for Luigi's first-ever starring role in a video game…
End
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