Hello everyone! So here is the second half to The Dream I hope you all like it. And thank you so much for the wonderful reviews on the first half of The Dream. I will admit I was a little nervous about this one and I'm so glad that most everyone really enjoyed it and understood what I was trying to get across.
Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read my little story and thank you to those who take the time to review! Your reviews mean so much to me and they keep me working to finish this story and do our 'snare boy' proud! ; )
Cas: As always thank you for taking the time to proof my chapters! And thank you for writing the 100th review for SFT! Congrates on a great semester!
Ellenka: Thank you for your wonderful reviews they mean a lot to me!
Wolfskin: As always I enjoy our conversations and thanks for letting me bounce ideas off of you!
I do not own these characters or the world they live in because well… if I did it would have ended completely different. Thank you SC for letting me play in your world for a while.
Looking around the clearing, Prim noticed that the mist was slowly creeping in around them. She realized her time with Katniss was coming to an end and she still had things she needed to discuss with her. "Okay. Let's talk about Gale. Katniss did you love Gale before the first games? Did you know that he loved you before you left?
"I... Gale... it's complicated." Katniss rubbed her forehead and continued to stare into the fire searching for the answers that seemed to be just out of her reach. She blinked several times and rubbed her eyes but now all she could see when she stared deep into the flames was the bomb exploding and the fire that consumed her little sister, extinguishing a bright glowing flame forever. That very same fire had tried but failed to consume her. She knew deep in her soul that she would have given anything and traded everything to have been the one who died that day. She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head, wanting to block out those horrible images... images that were now emblazoned on the back of her eyelids, playing over and over again in agonizing slow motion.
It was Prim's turn to scrunch her face up in confusion, "Complicated? Why?"
Katniss whispered in a strangled voice, "Because... Gale. He was responsible... he designed that… bomb. He did that to you."
Prim sighed then reached over to lay her hand on her big sister's shoulder, "Katniss, Gale always treated me like his little sister, you know that's true. When you and Gale started hunting together all those years ago you two brought our families together. The Hawthorne's and the Everdeen's became one big family looking out for each other in any way that we could." Prim rubbed her sister's shoulder, making sure she was listening and then stressed, "Gale was like a big brother to me. Do you really think he would try and hurt me?"
Katniss glanced at Prim and shook her head. "No."
"Do you really think that Gale knew what Coin's real agenda was when he worked with Beetee on those designs?"
"I... I don't think so. I'm not sure." Her eyes were starting to burn from staring into the fire, trying desperately to find the answers she needed.
"He seemed to change so much during that time. He became so focused on the rebellion and fighting. And at the Nut." She turned her eyes, which were filled with disbelief and shock from the person Gale became that day, to Prim. "You don't know what he was like," she whispered.
With horror ringing through her words she continued, "How he wanted to destroy it and all those people inside. Not just the Capitol soldiers but all those innocent people too. Just so we could get through to the Capitol and win." She never thought Gale could hate that much or would ever be willing to sacrifice innocent people just to win. Her head started to pound, almost like it was trying to stop her from finding the answers she needed. She reached up and rubbed her temples again, hoping to stop the throbbing so she could deal with all the emotions crashing in on her and remember how things really happened.
"Yes. The Nut." Sorrow distorted Prim's face, "It's true, far too many people from both sides of the rebellion died that day." She leaned down and looked into her big sister's shock filled eyes and told Katniss what she already knew, "It was a battle that we needed to win in a war we should have never had to fight.
Prim sat back up and with anger and determination in her voice declared, "The Capitol should have never taken the children from the districts and murdered them for their amusement… their entertainment. You know that better than almost anyone Katniss."
As tears ran down her cheeks Prim looked into the fire, trying to get a glimpse of what Katniss was seeing and surmised, "I don't know Katniss, it was like 75 years of frustration, grief, fear, and anger felt by every person in every district was channeled through Gale that day. He knew we had to take the Nut for things to change for the better and I truly believe that he knew it would be a huge sacrifice on both sides." Prim heaved a heavy sigh, "I also believe that he understood the consequences of his actions and knew he would have to live with the aftermath the rest of his life too.
She rounded on her sister, "But Katniss, someone had to figure it out sooner or later and come up with a plan… as horrible as it was. Once again those traps and snares that he used to feed and take care of us became the idea that would win for us the day and then they would help win the rebellion." Pride infused Prim's voice as she emphasized, "He stepped up like he has always done and he did what everyone knew had to be done. Then she added softly, "And I think he had hoped that you would stand beside him and back him up that day, no matter how horrible things got. He needed you to not think of him as a monster."
Prim reached up and wiped the tears from her face and took a deep breath steadying herself to go on, "So… yes. I guess he was focused on the rebellion and what needed to be done." Prim realized that Katniss was only focusing on what she believed to be Gale's biggest failure and had forgotten the boy he was… the one he was fighting to regain.
She took a breath and picked her next words carefully, knowing that she had to remind her sister about the strong, caring, and responsible man Gale has always been, "But he also fought for everyone in every district and he took care of all of us… his family… our family… and especially you. He was always there for you Katniss… always." She gave a small crooked smile. "Really, I think he was just waiting… quietly, for you to notice him," she whispered as she reached over and wiped a tear from Katniss's cheek.
Prim gushed on with pride in the things Gale had done, "And you do remember that he took care of Mom and me when you were in the Capitol and on the Victory Tour, right? And he saved me during the bombings of Twelve and Thirteen, and don't forget he was the one who saved your favorite things that day too. You know he was the only one other than me that knew what those things truly meant to you. And he was the first one to volunteer to go into the Capitol and try to rescue Peeta and Johanna. He did that for you." Prim drew in a deep airy breath after having gushed out everything so fast so she could remind Katniss of Gale's strong sense of justice. "Besides, didn't he always talk about a rebellion and how all the people in every district needed to come together and fight?"
Katniss's hand glazed over Prim's knee. Oh God, how could she have forgotten. It was true, Gale had saved Prim during both of those bombings and right now she was ashamed of herself because she never really thanked him for protecting her little sister. In fact he had taken care of her family during the times she couldn't be there – even in Thirteen when she was there but wasn't able to take care of them, let alone herself – just like they had promised one another they would do. And he was the first to volunteer to go on the rescue mission into the Capitol to save Peeta and Johanna. Again, she never took the time to thank him for saving Peeta. She had made it her job before the Quarter Quell to protect and save Peeta but she had failed miserably and Gale once again was there to have her back and pick up the pieces.
Katniss closed her eyes and remembered that late night in the hospital, right after Peeta had tried to destroy the mutt-Katniss. Even though Gale was injured he had snuck out of his room, silently moved past the night staff, and crept into her hospital room. He had leaned down over her bed and gently, like a feather's whisper, touched her bruised and swollen neck with his warm nimble fingertips. Then he had raised his liquid grey eyes to hers and kissed her lightly on the forehead before turning to leave. He hadn't spoken a single word but he didn't need to because the pain and tears on his face and the love that shone in his soft grey eyes told her everything she needed to know about the strength of his love for her. She had forgotten that until now. How could she forget that he has always been there beside her, quietly waiting for her to notice him?
She opened her silver grey eyes that now shone with the same love that his had displayed that night and continued to piece things together. Yes, Gale always talked about the districts coming together and fighting for their rights. Especially when times got really tough and they were finding it hard to even put a meager meal on the table to feed their families. She smiled slightly when she remembered how he would rant about things not being fair and how everyone needed to come together to overthrow the Capitol or no one would survive. Who would have ever dreamed that they would become the center of a rebellion and that in the end they would actually win. Katniss felt the pain welling up in her heart... yes, they had won but winning came with a steep price that everyone in the districts and the Capitol had to pay.
As the pain continued to spread through Katniss's heart she pushed the thought of Gale's love back down and tried to refocus her questioning thoughts, "Yes he did always talk about a rebellion. And then he got what he wanted," she hissed. "He was angry all the time… especially with me."
"Why do you think he was so angry?" Prim probed.
Katniss paused to gather her thoughts, going back to when she came home from the 74th Games. Back to that day in the meadow when Gale had kissed her and to the day at the cabin when he had told her that he was in love with her. And what was her response to his declaration of love? All she could say to him was I know. Why? She reached up to rub at her temples again, trying to lessen the pounding beat in her head that was echoing from her heart. Because she had made a decision that she hoped would save two people and had stepped into the lie that Haymitch and Peeta had created about the star-crossed lovers. She swallowed down a feeling of resentment and continued sorting through her scattered thoughts. She had pretended to love Peeta and had kissed him for all of Panam to see... for Gale to see. She cringed inside knowing in her heart that the number of times she must have hurt Gale over that frightening year was to high to count. Yes, she knew why he was angry. He was angry because she had hurt him and he was jealous of the pretend relationship she had with Peeta. But there was nothing she could do to change her decision or the coming storm that followed. She tried... she'd wanted things to go back to the way they were before she left but Snow would never allow that to happen.
After that things seemed to be so different between them; like a chasm had opened up and they weren't able to find their way across it. He was so angry all the time and she felt that he just didn't or couldn't understand everything that she had been through. So she had kept everything bottled up inside and didn't talk to him about the games or the terrible ugly things she had to do to survive.
She breathed a heavy sigh, she had tried to just forget and pretend everything was normal and the way it was before she had left but it wasn't. And her horribly vivid nightmares tore at her very soul and opened the wounds fresh every night. A sobering thought flashed across her mind that maybe if she had taken the time to confide in her best friend… maybe he could have understood how she felt and what she had gone through. Maybe he could have made her feel safe again the way he always did. What was the saying… a problem shared is a problem cut in half. She shook that thought from her head as her stubbornness kicked in… no, as her best friend he should have already known how she felt. Right?
Katniss reached out and touched Prim's hand giving it a little squeeze. "He was angry because of what I had to do to save us during the game. I told him that I was only pretending to love Peeta so that we could both survive." Her left eyebrow cocked as she added in a matter of fact tone, "he should have believed me."
'Jealousy must be a terrible thing to deal with,' Prim thought. "Well I suppose that having everyone think you two were just cousins didn't help with his jealousy… right?"
Katniss huffed, "no it certainly didn't."
"What other ways do you think Gale changed?" Prim probed further.
Katniss reached over and tapped the toe of Prim's shoe, again making sure she was still there and still real. A new memory hit her hard, causing her to blink several times as she organized her new thoughts into words. She picked up a stick and then spat out, "He lied to me!" Katniss fumed as she furiously poked at the fire, taking out her frustration on the dying embers and kicking them back to life. "I would have never thought that he would ever lie to me about anything." She poked and jabbed the flames higher.
"Gale lied to you? I… Really? When? Why?" Prim stammered out confused that Gale would ever indeed lie to Katniss... about anything.
Katniss hissed, "Gale never told me about seeing Peeta on TV."
Prim wrinkled her brow in confusion, "I thought you knew about Peeta's messages from the Capitol?"
"No." She thought twice knowing that she really did know about the messages, "I mean yes. It was the second time." She stammered out trying to explain the confusion. "Finnick and I caught the broadcast on the TV while we were in the hospital."
"Oh?" Prim questioned as she reached over to stroke her sister's hair.
"In Peeta's message he wanted us to stop the rebellion and he stressed specifically to me that I shouldn't trust anyone in District Thirteen." She looked at Prim and reached over to touch her knee obtaining the reassurance that she needed. With a hint of conspiracy in her voice she continued, "Finnick suggested that we not tell anyone we had seen his message and then we would see what would happen and who we could trust."
Prim began to undo Katniss's braid combing her fingers through it to pull it apart, "I see. Gale never said anything to you about seeing Peeta did he?"
"No," anger flashed across her face but it was hurt that registered in her voice, "I finally had to confront him about it."
Prim could tell by the hurt tone in Katniss voice that she had felt betrayed by Gale's lack of trust in her. Prim searched for a way to sooth and calm her sister as they went on so she reached in her bag and found her comb. She began to gently run the comb over her sister's scalp and through her hair and after awhile she could feel Katniss start to relax.
Prim continued in a relaxed tone, "Okay?" as she began to separate her sister's long dark hair into sections so that she could braid it again. "What did he say to you about why he didn't tell you?"
Katniss turned and leaned back against Prim's legs, letting her comb her hair. The feel of Prim's hands working through her hair, combing and braiding, felt so... real... just like old times when they would sit on the bed at night, combing out each other's braids and talking about whatever was on Prim's mind before climbing under the covers to sleep. Prim gave Katniss a gentle nudge bringing her back from her thoughts. Katniss coughed and sat up a little straighter, "He told me he had seen it and that he was going to tell me about it but he had decided not to because he was trying to protect me. He knew I was in a," Katniss put both hands up and wiggled the first two fingers like quotation marks, "fragile state and didn't want to upset me more by telling me about Peeta."
Prim put the band around the end of Katniss's braid and handed her the comb. Katniss turned around and Prim slid to the ground, turning so that Katniss could comb out her hair and braid it too. "Well that makes sense Katniss. At that time you really weren't doing very well and it sounds like he was just trying to protect you," reasoned Prim.
"No. He lied to me." Katniss pulled Prim's braid a little to tight and Prim let out an, "ouch!" Katniss immediately wrapped her arms around Prim and pulled her back against her chest, "sorry little duck." She kissed the side of her head and then released her hold so that she could continue combing and separating Prim's shiny yellow hair into sections for braiding. "No. He lied to me. He didn't trust me enough to tell me. He should have trusted me and that was unforgivable," she grumbled with stubborn firmness.
Prim turned around to face her, "Katniss. Why was it always so easy for you to accept things when Peeta and Haymitch kept things from you or planned things without you then explained their actions by saying they were just trying to protect you, but when Gale tried to do the same thing you got angry with him and called him a liar, telling him it was unforgivable?" Prim questioned firmly.
Katniss sat back, her mouth dropping open slightly and shock registering on her face. It was true—Peeta and Haymitch always made plans or kept things from her and she just went along with it. Well... not the first time when Peeta started the whole star-crossed lovers thing during his interview. Afterward she had confronted him and slammed him against the wall and then accused him of making her look weak. But as always Haymitch took his side, agreeing with what he had done and trying to convince her that it helped her as well. She rolled her eyes and shook her head and thought that in the end she had gone along with them… didn't she. She let out a sigh of frustration at her memories and reached forward to turned Prim back around so that she could continue working her braids again as her thoughts tumbled round in her mind.
During the Quarter Quell Peeta had told everyone that they were married and she was pregnant. Once again taking her by surprise and once again both he and Haymitch had convinced her that it was to protect her. She went along with it that time because she thought she might be able to use it to her advantage. If the other tributes thought twice about trying to kill her because they thought she was pregnant then she could protect Peeta like she had planned and then she would die.
Katniss finished braiding Prim's hair by tying off the ends with pretty pink ribbons then she handed her the comb and leaned back against the log. Prim looked around the clearing noticing that the mist was getting so much closer to them then glanced at her big sister's pale face, seeing frustration, hurt, and shock warring for dominance there. She knew that Katniss needed more of the precious time that was running out on them.
So why did she think it was so unforgivable for Gale to lie to protect her and not Peeta or Haymitch? Katniss looked back into the fire, rubbing her temples more firmly. Why? She sighed heavily because she knew why. Her relationship with Gale started as a mutual need to survive and had developed into something more... something special over time. They had spent years getting to know one another and worked together like a well-balanced team. In so many ways they were like an old married couple that knew and trusted each other without question. That's why it hurt so much when he didn't tell her about Peeta because she trusted him to always tell her the truth.
Her brow furrowed in frustration as she thought that with Peeta… well... really... she barely knew him in the beginning and because of the circumstances they faced she had no choice but to try and trust him. Later, after she realized the kind of boy that Peeta really was, she knew that she could trust him but it was never the same level of trust that Gale and her had developed over all those years.
Angry and frustrated tears slipped down Katniss's face as she turned to Prim, "Because I trusted Gale with... everything. He is the only person besides you that I trusted without question to always be there and to always tell me the truth. Always!"
Prim reached over and wiped the tears from Katniss's cheek, "I know Katniss. And I think you know that Gale was only trying to protect you... like he has always done. Right?"
Katniss stubbornly shook her head no but quietly whispered, "Yes."
Prim smiled and sighed, "Good. Now we need to go back to my original questions. Katniss did you love Gale before the first games? Did you know that he loved you before you left?"
Katniss' mind flashed to the day she came out of the crowd in the town square and saw Gale on his knees, tied to the whipping post with his shirt ripped in half and hanging off his arms. His back was bloody and raw from the multiple lashes the Head Peacekeeper had already brutally bestowed on him for killing a turkey… for trying to survive. She didn't hesitate or even stop to think about the consequences of her actions, she just threw herself between Gale and the Peacekeepers whip, earning a lash across her face as her reward. She knew she would never allow Gale to be hurt anymore than he already was and she would be damned if she would watch someone kill him... not for any reason and definitely not for trying to survive.
All the emotions from that day of seeing Gale whipped and watching him writhing in pain on her kitchen table came flooding back to her. She wished she could take all his pain away and that she had been there with him like she always used to be. The guilt that this was all her fault was overwhelming and tears flooded her eyes and began to run down her flushed red cheeks.
She closed her eyes tight against the memory but she could now see Gale standing at her kitchen table telling her that she only noticed him or loved him when he was in pain. Katniss opened her eyes to try and find the answer in the smoke of the fire. Maybe that was true—she did notice him when he was in pain because she felt his pain like it was her own. Over time they had become like one unit, understanding and knowing each other's thoughts, needs, and wants without having to voice them. So it would only stand to reason that she would know when he was in pain and would want to comfort him, to be there for him, and to protect him.
It was out of this need to protect Gale that she ended up putting Peeta and everyone before him so many times. She knew that she hurt him but she thought she could keep everyone safe and make everything right by doing what Snow wanted her to do. And Snow wanted to destroy her by making her sacrifice everything that she truly loved.
Prim reached over to gently rub Katnsis' shoulders and let her know she wasn't alone, patiently waiting for her to work through her thoughts.
Katniss scrunched her forehead up and then made a face that showed that she was finally ready to concede what her heart already knew. And her heart already knew that Gale was hers and she was his and anything else was unthinkable. They had grown to love and trust each other over time and shared everything. They knew when to lead and when to follow and neither felt the need to compromise. A smile played across her face because she knew that he made her stronger and she always felt safe when he was with her.
Katniss raised her eyes from the smoke of the fire and smiled at Prim. She nodded and said, "Yes, I have always loved Gale. I never wanted to and I tried not to because I never wanted to love anyone. I wasn't going to get married or have kids... ever." Katniss reached over and tugged on Prim's braid playfully then sighed, "Gale knew that and I think that he didn't tell me he loved me before I left because he wanted to give me time to realize what I truly felt on my own and maybe he thought he was protecting me by not giving me something else to worry about while I was trying to survive in the Games." Katniss laughed, "He can be such an idiot sometimes."
Prim looked surprised and then burst out laughing. "Yeah, boys they can be idiots... most of the time."
Katniss cocked her eyebrow at Prim, "Really! So little duck what boys are you talking about?" She reached over and poked Prim in her sides, "Huh, come on, you can tell me!" They both tumbled over on the ground, giggling and tickling each other mercilessly.
After a while they surrendered and Prim laid her head on Kantiss's arm as they caught their breath and settled down to watch white fluffy clouds drifting across the blue sky. Katniss glowed with the warmth of love that she hadn't felt in a very long time as she drew her little sister protectively closer to her side. And she knew she wanted this moment to go on forever but unfortunately their peaceful moment was interrupted by the loud rumbling growls coming from Katniss's stomach. Prim sat up and laughed at her, "You really do need to start taking better care of yourself. You do know that... right?!
Prim reached over and dished up a huge helping of rabbit stew and held it out to her sister. Katniss sat up and reached over, brushing her hands over her little sister's, once again giving her a sense of comfort. She took the bowl of stew out of Prim's hand and inhaled a big whiff of the savory aroma which caused her stomach to let out an urgent growl, demanding that she eat immediately! As her mouth began to water she was slapped with the realization of just how little she really had been doing to take care of herself. So with a contented smile on her face she scooped up a big spoonful, blew on it for a few seconds and then popped it in her mouth. It was so mouth wateringly delicious that Katniss finished her bowl in record time and asked for a second helping. Prim smiled because Katniss would never have asked for seconds until everyone in the house had eaten their fill and then only if there was enough to last them for several more meals. So Prim dished it up with satisfaction glowing on her face and Katniss gobbled it down with glee.
Katniss wiped the stew from her mouth with the back of her hand and exclaimed proudly, "Wow! That was… beyond delicious Prim. I didn't know you could cook like that!" She chuckled, "I think from now on I will leave all the cooking up to you."
Prim smiled sadly at Katniss and looked at the mist closing in around them. She sat back down on the log and stroked Katniss's hair. "Well I think it's time YOU finally learn how to cook. You know, something edible," Prim laughed as she joked with her big sister.
"Hey... very funny," Katniss playfully elbowed Prim in the leg as she pouted, "I am not that bad." It felt good to talk to Prim again... to laugh and joke with her. As Prim was growing up Katniss had tried her best to make things easier for her but she knew that there hadn't been enough laughter in their house after their dad had died and their mom checked out. So they had spent a lot of time at the Hawthorne's house where there was always plenty of laughter and love to go around. Even Mom seemed to glow again and laugh a little more while they were there. Prim was right when she said that the Hawthorne's and the Everdeen's had become one big family.
Prim glanced at the mist and said, "There is one more thing I need to discuss with you before I go." Katniss turned to Prim with such pain in her grey eyes that Prim almost wanted to cry. Prim continued to stroke her hair and whispered, "It's going to be okay Katniss. You need to trust yourself and know that everything is going to work out. Really, it is."
Prim again glanced at the mist that was creeping closer to the log they were sitting on and took a deep breath. "The night of the Quarter Quell announcement when you ran out of the house and went back to our old house in the Seam. That was the night that you gave up on me and everyone else that you really loved. That was the night you decided you were going to save Peeta and then you would die. Why?" Prim leaned in so she could look her sister straight in the eyes, "because you had decided that everything that had happened was your fault and that you shouldn't be the Mockingjay because you weren't worthy enough. You believed it should have been Peeta because he had a way with words and he was so nice. Right?"
Katniss's mouth fell open and she just looked at Prim. "How did you know that? I never talked to anyone about that. Ever."
Prim responded off handedly, "It doesn't matter now." Then more firmly, "But you need to know that it was never BLAME that fell on you it was FATE," Prim grasped Katniss's shoulders and turned her toward her, "and that you always had the right words to say when you needed them the most. And your words, your strength, and your determination united the people of the Districts and lead us to a better way of life." Prim reached down and took Katniss's trembling hands into her much smaller but strong ones, "Even the Capitol people will come to realize that this way of life is better than the way it was before. You never needed the star-crossed lovers thing to make the people love you because they already did. Prim reached up and gently took Katniss's face in her warm hands, "You are meant for great things and there is more to come in your life if you just let it in."
Katniss shook her head no then turned away and cried out with anguish in her voice, "No, I have done such terrible things." Tears welled up in her eyes and slipped down her flushed cheeks, "I'm a murderer and a monster and everyone would still be alive... you would still be alive if I had died in the games." She raised her eyebrows and pressed her lips together then said with such pained conviction, "Snow would have left everyone alone if I had been brave enough to die."
Prim knelt beside Katniss and turned her face to her again, "That's not true and you know it. We should have never been in this situation to begin with." Anger infused her voice as she went on, "The Capitol never should have used the children from all the Districts for their sadistic games, killing them for their amusement. Prim's ice blue eyes compelled Katniss to understand and believe what she was telling her. "And you know that it wouldn't have made a difference to Snow if you had died in the games, he still would have destroyed us all in the end." She softened and once again reached up to wipe the tears from her sister's face, "You just wouldn't have been there to see it happen."
Katniss knew Prim was right and she had been selfish and stupid to ever think that her death would have stopped Snow from taking his revenge on everyone that she loved. Katniss turned and leaned back against the log, stretching her legs out and she confessed to herself that honestly, she truly knew deep down inside that he would still kill them… one by one… but she wouldn't have been there to suffer through their deaths. The people she loved… the one's she'd left behind would have had to deal with the pain and fear of Snow's tyranny.
She squeezed her eyes shut knowing what a coward she had been and her heart began to sink in her chest. Then she was hit with the realization that she had put Peeta's survival before her own family's wellbeing. Her eyes flew open wide as the truth behind her actions rang through her head. Because she believed everything that had happened was her fault and that… in many ways Peeta was better than her.
Isn't that what Haymitch had told her the night of the Quarter Quill reading when she had made up her mind to die for Peeta, "that she could live a thousand life times and never deserve that boy." She had believed him thinking that Peeta was more deserving then her… better then her. How could she have thought so little of herself?
Katniss turned her grey eyes on Prim and confessed to her sister her most cowardly act, "Yes, you're right and I think I realized that all along… what Snow would do when I was gone." Katniss's eyes shone with sadness as she continued, "And I let everyone I loved down when I believed that I wasn't good enough to be the Mockingjay and… and… that because Peeta was so nice and good with words that he would be better than me.
Prim smiled and closed her eyes then opened them and said, "It's okay Katniss. You need to forgive yourself for everything and recognize that we all did what we had to do to make a better world for our families to live in. We are all free now to live whatever kind of life we want to live. It was your spark that started a fire that burned down the old dictatorship and lead the way to a new government." She leaned in close to her sister, "Katniss, you need to accept your part in this new world and try to live a full and happy life. Do you think you can you do that?" Prim held her breath hoping for the answer she needed to hear before she could go.
Katniss thought that she had destroyed any hope she had for the future when she had decided to kill Coin. But maybe it wasn't her fault. Maybe fate just picked her—out of that bowl—on reaping day. It may have been her sister's name that was chosen but fate knew she would never let her little sister face the arena. Katniss took a long deep breath and let it out slowly as she whispered, "I think so... I HOPE so."
Prim leaned over and kissed Katniss on the cheek and hugged her. "Good! Now, I won't have to worry about you so much." She whispered into her ear so quietly that Katniss almost didn't hear what she had said, "I have to go now. But you will be okay. I promise."
Prim stood up and Katniss started to protest. "Prim... please... I can't face life without you here."
"Yes you can. I will always be with you." Prim knelt back down and touched Katniss's heart. "Here... I will always be here. You will keep me here... just like you do with Daddy."
Katniss had tears streaming down her face as she shook her head, "I... Prim... I need you here with me. I..." Then with pain like she had never felt before welling up in her heart, Katniss realized it was time to let go. She looked into Prim's crystal blue eyes for the last time and promised her, "Yes, I will! You and Dad will always be alive in my heart and my memories. There won't be a day that goes by that I won't think of the two of you."
Prim smiled and reached over and caressed her big sister's cheek for the last time. Then she stood up and walked out into the mist, looking angelic. Katniss tried to get up and go after her but no matter how hard she fought she couldn't move. It was like she was frozen to the ground and all she could do was watch Prim walk away. Katniss finally gave up her struggle as she watched Prim's soft yellow hair and little duck tail slowly fade away into memory but before she was completely lost from sight Prim turned back one last time, chewing on her lower lip. "I think you are ready to forgive yourself and the other's that you need to forgive too. You're also ready to make your choice and begin your new life with the one you truly love and need."
Prim smiled and chuckled, "And you are going to make a wonderful mother. Make sure you tell your children the truth about how their mother changed a nation and how their father saved her. How they found salvation in each other." Prim smiled, "Salvation for two."
Then she raised her hand and waved goodbye as Katniss watched the mist roll up and surround her and as her little sister disappeared before her eyes she heard Prim's voice one last time, "Oh, Daddy told me to tell you that he loves you and he is very proud of the woman you have become. So am I." Katniss sat there in the mist with her eyes locked on the spot where her little sister had disappeared… she was gone. Prim was really gone.
She sat there and blinked several times, trying to focus on the disappearing flecks of color that were swirling in the stormy grey mist moving rapidly toward her. Quietly she searched her heart and soul for the overwhelming emotions that should be raging inside her. Why wasn't she crying or screaming out the pain that she should be feeling? Instead she felt an eerie sense of calm and peace welling up and spreading throughout her body. And somewhere deep inside she knew that everything would eventually be okay.
A loud booming clap of thunder snapped her out of her calm musing and as she blinked several more times she focused on the stormy grey mist that was now turning darker and sucking the surrounding air into a swirling angry mass that was heading rapidly toward her. The wind blew hard and fierce against her body, pulling thin wisps of dark strans out of her neatly combed hair and whipping the braid Prim had tied so lovingly around, slapping her in the face. She fought hard to try and gain her feet and she wasn't sure if it was the wind or that frozen feeling that still anchored her to the ground. And as the cold swirling stormy grey mist enveloped her, sucking the air out of her lungs and chilling her to her very bones, she closed her eyes tightly and awaited her fate.
Katniss opened her eyes and blinked several times, trying to focus on the shadows that were dancing on the white ceiling above her. She lay there quietly listening to the voice of reason that had nudged her out of her sleep. Prim. Katniss felt the first genuine smile that she had allowed herself in a very long time forming on her dry chapped lips. Her little sister had found a way to come to her and help her with all the conflicting thoughts and emotions that had been squeezing her heart for so very long. Then slowly the smile faded and confusion settled in her mind… had it been real? She closed her eyes and knew deep in her soul that her sister was gone because she had watched the fire consume her, taking the life out of both of them that day. Had it just been a dream, with everything taking place inside her head? A strong calming peace settled over her as she realized that even if it had been a dream, to her it would always be real. She always tried to take time to listen to Prim no matter how busy she was and Prim knew that sometimes she was the only one who could get around her stubbornness and nudge her in the right direction. A smile spread across her face again as she drifted back to sleep.
A few hours later she opened her eyes again and blinked at the dancing shadows on the white ceiling above her. She lay there quietly trying to focus on this new and different angle to her normal world. After a few moments she realized the growing shadows were not dancing across the ceiling in the kitchen but in the living room and she was stretched out on the couch.
At first she was confused about how she had gotten in here then she remembered strong arms picking her up and wrapping her in a blanket of safety. She remembered snuggling her face into the side of a neck and smelling a scent of pine mixed with a smoky musk and something else… something she only associated with two men in her life. Then she had been lowered down to soft comfy cushions and it had felt so good to stretch out to sleep that she had drifted off. No. There was something else... what? He had tried to go but she had reached out and took his hand in her's and asked him to stay with her. She smiled. What did he say? She searched her memory for the words... always? Her brow wrinkled and a strong feeling of how wrong that sounded settled over her. No, that wasn't right. She shook her head and watched the dancing shadows while she searched for the right answer… he had said, that he had 'always been here.'
She bolted up and in the dim light from the dying fire she scanned around the living room searching for him. She felt panic rush in causing her breath to catch in her throat. He had said he would always be here and he would always have her back. She pulled her blanket back and started to get up when she looked down and found him. Gale was lying on the floor next to her, sound asleep, as she looked at his peaceful face something in her heart started to glow and brighten her soul. She smiled and sighed contentedly in the knowledge that she had found him and he was here safe beside her.
Katniss laid back down on the couch feeling safe and secure for the first time in a long time. In the dimming darkness she began to try and sort out her dream. There were so many things that they had discussed and so many memories that had become clear for the first time in a very long time. She knew fighting her way back was not going to be easy but she was used to not having things easy in her life. And she knew that in the end things would find a way of sorting themselves out because her little sister—who was always so wise beyond her young years—had told her so.
Katniss rolled over and looked down at Gale lying peacefully asleep on the floor, and as she reached out her hand to touch his face something in her heart started to constrict and tug at her soul. Edges of the grief she had been consumed with for so long began to surround her again. She flopped over onto her back and took a deep, slow breath then closed her eyes and rapidly replayed every aspect and every question with every answer from her vivid dream. She sorted through it all, searching for the peace she needed and the ability to forgive herself and those she loved. Slowly she rolled back over, tucking her hands under the edge of her pillow and watched Gale's chest rise and fall with his deep even breaths, letting them lull her into a safe state of drowsiness. But before she fell into the comfortable arms of nothingness, Prim's smiling face flashed across her mind followed by one thought… the woods... the lake.
So this is the end of The Dream I hope you enjoyed it. Please shoot me a review to let me know what you thought or how I can improve the story line. If you have any suggestions for scenes… let me know and I'll see what I can do.
Bad news! I have always tried to keep a couple of chapters ahead of my postings but due to some writers block lately, you are currently caught up to where I am writing. I hope to get this chapter done soon but opening my business and getting it up and running is my top priority. Please know I WILL finish this story… just be patient with me. Okay. Okay!