Okay! First, I am so sorry that it has been over a year since I posted. Thank you to all who have sent me reminders and repeatedly told me how much they love this story! I won't offer any excuses. Just know that this past year of my life has been… hectic at best.
I will also say that for some reason this chapter was the hardest to write. I wrote and re-wrote things probably a 100 times. So…. I hope you like it! Let me know what you think of it.
Shout out to Omsk-skazka! Here it is!
Cas as always, thank you for proofing my chapters and being a sounding board for thoughts and ideas! ; )
I do not own these characters or the world they live because well.. if I did it would have ended completely different. Thank you SC for letting me play in the world you created… for a little while.
CHAPTER 12: So It Begins
Greasy Sae stood at the edge of the meadow, watching for the first hint of light in the distant sky. As she watched the sun slowly push back the darkness a small smile formed on her lips as she breathed the fresh clean air into her lungs. 'Yes,' she thought, 'the air in District Twelve was fresh and clean right now because for the first time in her life the mines were closed.' The Town, and all of Panem really, were focused on rebuilding and uniting all the Districts under this new government. They were all trying to create a country where everyone was free and could prosper from their own hard work. The returning survivors of Twelve and the new additions to the District all voted to close the mines while engineers worked on ways to make them safer. The hope was that making the mines safer would mean that the productivity would increase and the overall income for the workers and the District would rise, making Twelve a better place to live.
Sae rubbed her hands over her arms to brush away the slight chill that still hung in the early morning air as she watched the sun peek over the green treetops, spreading bright rays of light across the dew-covered meadow below. As the sun touched each tiny droplet they began to sparkle and glisten as if precious diamonds bejeweled each blade of grass. The air caught in her throat and her eyes glistened with unshed tears as she took in this marvelous display of nature. She pressed her lips into a thin line and wondered how many mornings she had passed in this very same meadow and never stopped to take notice of the beauty around her.
Of course at that time everything in District Twelve would have been covered with a thick layer of coal dust and the early morning droplets of dew would have been nothing more than murky dark water weighing down each brown blade of grass. Right now with the mines closed and the reserve stockpiles of coal being used and shipped to other Districts as needed, the usual thick cloud of coal dust that hung over the town was gone. The remaining layer of dirty coal dust that darkened every surface had been washed away with the early spring rains, leaving the town and the surrounding meadow looking less bleak and a little more hopeful than before.
She shook her head and breathed a heavy sigh, knowing that in actuality she would have never taken the time to notice anyway. Like everyone else in District Twelve, every hour of every day of her life had been consumed with the constant worry and stress of just trying to survive. To let her mind focus, for even one minute, on something so frivolous would have seemed like a waste of her precious time.
This morning wasn't any different from those past mornings. She was on her way to work and she still had worries weighing on her mind, but the difference that added a spring to her step and a glow in her heart on this morning was the new sense of freedom that filled her soul. As she breathed in the sparkling display of nature, her smile grew and she began to laugh like a giddy schoolgirl unable to contain that happy feeling bubbling up inside her chest anymore. She wrapped her arms tightly around her body and twisted from side to side, trying to keep it all inside, but her happiness on this bright early summer morning would not be denied.
"I'm free!" she bubbled out loud. "Everyone in every District on this wonderful morning is. We're all free!" Being free was something everyone may have hinted at in their dreams but would have never allowed themselves to hope for in reality. Now it was here!
Sae did one big spin around and then froze in her tracks, noticing a few more early morning risers on their way to work. 'Crap,' she thought as her face froze in that I've been caught doing something nuts expression. 'Great, I'm sure by lunch time today everyone in town is going to think I have lost my damn mind.' She placed a hand over her mouth and tried taking a few deep breaths to contain her giggles, but her laughter would not be contained and her smile would not be stifled. To make matters worse she now how tears of happiness rolling down her cheeks.
She glanced back at her field of diamonds and her smile spread wider across her face. This feeling had been bubbling up inside of her for months now, but she had always been able to contain it and push it down while she concentrated on the hard work ahead to make District Twelve whole once again. But this morning as she breathed in the fresh clean free air and took the time to actually look at the world around her, she knew she couldn't contain it any longer.
Oh what the hell, since when did she ever care what others thought of her? Most people in the District thought she was a crazy old lady anyway. She laughed out loud and turned back to the few people on the road, waving at them and wishing them all brightly, "Good morning and have a great day!"
To her surprise every person that passed her by didn't look at her like the crazy old lady she felt she was; they gave her a wink and a smile and laughed right along with her, wishing her a good morning as well. Some even paused a moment to breathe in her diamond display.
When the road was empty again, she turned back to her field of precious diamonds and took out a handkerchief to wipe her face and blow her nose, finally able to stop her giggles but still unable to contain her smile.
She knew there was still a long hard road ahead to establish a new government and rebuild everything the rebellion had blown apart. 'Yes,' she thought, 'everyone did have a reason to smile and laugh now because all their hard work would benefit everyone and not just the self-indulgent people living in the Capitol.' She smiled and whispered out loud, "Nope! Not anymore!"
She was free to do anything she wanted to do and go anywhere she wanted to go. A light-hearted chuckle escaped her lips as she bent down and picked up the bag of groceries at her feet. Right now she wanted to head to the home of the young girl responsible for sparking this new freedom.
Sae smiled and sighed as she raised her face up to the warm sun and closed her eyes. Who would have ever imagined that the same frightened young girl that tagged along after Gale into the Hob would be the one to trigger a rebellion. She opened her eyes and turned to leave, letting out another chuckle as she thought that she would have bet money on the spark actually being that hot-headed young boy. She glanced one last time at the sparkling field that was slowly disappearing in the growing heat of the morning sun. With a bounce to her step and a smile on her face she headed up the newly paved road to the Victors Village.
As she turned onto Victors Lane a strange feeling started to settle over her and a quiet voice kept repeating in her ear that something major has happened and that things are about to change. Her step quickened as the buzzing of that little voice became more insistent in her head, spurring on a growing sense of worry. When she finally reached the house, she rushed up the front steps, pausing at the top to take in the mounting evidence for that nagging strange feeling she was experiencing.
Gale's sleeping bag lay empty and rumpled in his spot by the door. Sae knew that he was up before her most of the time and never left his sleeping bag out. He always rolled it up and put his things away before heading out to work or hunt. Sae walked over and felt the still wet clothes that had been flung over the railing in an attempt to let them dry. These were the clothes that Katniss had been wearing for days and they were still wet.
"What the hell?" Sae wrinkled her brow and turned towards the door, almost tripping over the blanket that was wadded up in a ball at her feet.
With that sense of worry growing stronger, she swung open the screen door and hurried inside. As she walked over to the table to set down her grocery bag, she quickly scanned around the kitchen, taking in Katniss's empty chair by the dead fire and the dirty dishes in the sink. Sae turned towards the bathroom door, knowing that that was the only other place that Katniss would go. The door was half opened but the light was off inside.
Sae walked over to the bathroom door and tentatively knocked, "Katniss? Honey? Are you okay?"
Sae waited a second and with no response, she slowly pushed the door opened and reached in to flip on the light.
"What the hell?" escaped her lips as her eyebrows shot up. Before her was the scene of an apparent bathroom explosion. That had to be the only answer for the unbelievable mess that lay before her. There were wet towels and clothes strewn all over the floor and counter, the tub was filled with dirty scummy water, and several opened bottles of stuff lay on the floor around the edge of the tub with small puddles of goo coming out of a couple of them. Some of the towels were pushed around the edge of the tub as if to soak up water that had been splashed over the side, but clearly were unable to absorb the huge amount of water still on the floor.
Sae backed slowly out of the bathroom while the worry she had been feeling spiked in the pit of her stomach and shot up to her heart.
"What the hell happened?!" she exclaimed again.
Sae sucked in a deep breath of air and then turned and walked down the small hallway to the living room, hoping she would find some kind of answer to what went on in this house last night.
When she entered the living room she stopped in her tracks as a slow smile grew on her lips and spread through her whole body. She placed her hand over her mouth to stop the ecstatic giggling from bubbling to the surface and escaping again. There before her was a scene she had been praying and hoping would happen for so very long.
Gale lay sprawled out next to the couch on the floor with his right leg bent and leaning against its side. Katniss was laying on her back on the couch with her left leg bent and her knee resting on top of Gale's knee. Her left arm was hanging out over Gale's chest and his other hand was lying on his chest just an inch or so under her hand. It was almost as if they were trying to hold hands in their sleep but couldn't quite reach each other.
Sae stepped quietly over to where they were sleeping and smiled down at both of them. As she shook her head and swiped at a tear on her cheek, she whispered so softly that even she couldn't hear, "You two have been through so much together. Fighting, from such a young age, for the survival of both of your families."
She placed her hands on her hips and fixed her lips in a firm line. "You are both so stubborn too. So filled with fire and neither one of you will back down." Then she softened and added with a crooked smile and silent laugh, "You will never live a dull life, that's for sure."
Sae sighed and bit her lower lip as she watched the two of them sleep. As a wave of contentedness washed over her, she sagely whispered, "Fire can burn and rage, turning a forest to nothing but ash, but that same fire allows for new growth. Out of those ashes a new forest will grow back... stronger and better than before... it just takes time."
She turned and started to tiptoe out of the room, but stopped and speaking barely above a whisper she imparted some wise advice, "Just remember you two, a fire can also be used to control and temper another fire, creating a perfect balance that keeps them both safe. If you two can remember that and be there for each other, you can't help but live a wonderful life together."
Sae paused for another second to watch the different emotions playing across Katniss's face. She hoped that she was dreaming about good times and reliving great memories that would help her to heal.
Sae turned and quietly tiptoed out of the living room trying not to wake either of them. She knew that they both desperately needed a good restful sleep, freeing from their troubling thoughts and memories.
Sae entered the kitchen and crossed over to the window looking out again at the sun shining down. Once more she had to wrap her arms around herself in order to try to contain the happiness wanting to bubble out. She smiled and thought, 'Yes, this really is going to be a wonderful day.' Finally, she leaned down and opened the window wide to let in the early morning air. Then she turned around and rolled her sleeves up and headed for the bathroom to clean up the remains of the apparent explosion from last night.
Katniss opened her eyes and stared up at the sunlight dancing across the ceiling above her as she lazily stretched her arms and legs. When she was done stretching her stiff muscles and flexing her sore back, she settled back into the soft cushions with an almost contented sigh and recounted her dream. Prim. Her little duck. She had found a way to talk to her one more time. It had always surprised Katniss how intuitive Prim was about things beyond her years. Truthfully in many ways she had come to depend on Prim's insight into things that were going on around her. She really didn't pay much attention to what people thought or felt... well outside of her little family that is. Prim was very different, shrewdly observing the whole world around her and caring deeply about what others thought and felt.
Katniss breathed in a deep breath and sighed heavily, knowing deep inside she had shut off her feelings and needs the day her father had died in the mines. She never wanted to experience that kind of pain again so on that day she decided she would never get married and never have children. Then she would never have to watch them standing in the square for the reaping or watch them starve because there wasn't enough food to eat or watch the man she loved going off to die in the mines. She would only have to worry about herself and her family.
She wrinkled her brow and frowned, knowing that really wasn't right... was it? There was one other person she would always worry about - Gale. But then again he was part of her family, along with his mother and siblings. Yes, the Everdeens and Hawthornes had become one big family on that day they had met in the woods. They had become fast friends over the next few months and that friendship had grown into something more over the following years. She had never been ready or willing to admit what that 'something more' was to herself. A quick flash of Gale laying on her kitchen table bleeding from open wounds across his back and writhing in pain sent shivers through her body. That was when she had been willing to admit to herself what that 'something more' was. She had let herself believe that Gale was hers and she was his and anything else was unthinkable.
But then Peeta had let himself into her house and the sadness that had shown on his face and the pain that entered his eyes at seeing them together made her pull away from Gale and feel guilty for letting that 'something more' out in the open. Now she had an overwhelming obligation to tend to another person's feelings and needs. She sighed softly to herself again and rolled over on her left side.
She looked down and saw Gale sleeping peacefully on the floor next to her and as she watched his slow even breaths, her breathing began to fall into sync with his. Her lips quivered into a slight smile as she took in his mussed up hair and the stubble across his face. Her brow crinkled as she wondered how long it had been since he was able to really grow hair on his face. In all of the time that had passed since the first Game she hadn't taken the time to notice. She frowned and sent a quick guilty look around the room, then settled back to look at him... to really look at him.
'He really is a handsome man,' she thought. No wonder all the girls in the Seam and most from the Town were always trying to catch his attention. She remembered the girls talking about him in school before she had met him in the woods that day. But in all the time that she had known him personally, he had never been one of those guys that chased every girl and tried to get them down to the Slag Heap. She crinkled her brow and wondered what had happened to make him change from 'that guy' that all the girls talked about to the guy she knew.
She looked down his long lean body knowing that his frame had taken on a lot of muscle while they were in District Thirteen. His face was square and strong and framed by dark wavy hair that was mussed up and wild, just like it looked after spending a day in the woods hunting. He always had a way of looking like he had just rolled out of bed and quickly ran his hands through his hair before starting his day. She had to stifle a laugh, it probably looked better after a day in the woods with the wind blowing it around. Right now it was longer than she had ever seen it as it touched the collar of his shirt and fell over his forehead and into his eyes. She preferred his hair mussed up and wild instead of the military style haircut he had to wear in District Thirteen. Right now though he could use a really good hair cut and maybe a shave. Though she actually kinda liked the new stubble on his chin and cheek. Her face flushed pink as she wondered what it would feel like against her face as he kissed her.
Her eyes moved to his lips, which were slightly chapped but red and full. She grew warmer as she remembered that they could be firm but soft and gentle at the same time. There was a small scar on his upper right lip which, when she had asked him how he had gotten it, he had looked away a bit ashamedly and told her it was a long story and he would tell her about it one day. She had never pressed him for details, knowing he would share the story with her when he was ready.
She sighed thinking about how his lips were usually fixed in a firm line because of all the worries on his mind. But they would always turn up into a smile whenever he was around the kids or her. When they were in the woods alone together, his smile changed even more, to one of happiness and contentment that would make her heart full.
Usually he had lines of worry creasing his brow and next to his eyes that aged him beyond his young years. That worry and need to be strong for everyone around him would turn his eyes a steel grey color, but she knew those same eyes would turn a bright liquid grey when they were in the woods together. They were especially bright and sparkling after they had caught enough game to provide a good dinner for both families that might stretch over a couple of nights. She smiled. 'Yes,' she thought, 'that is when those eyes would dance with happiness.' Right now all the worry lines were gone and his face looked peaceful and young like the boy she had met in the woods that cold day many years ago. She knew that if his eyes were open and looking at her they would be light and dancing with peaceful contentment.
His ears were slightly covered by his dark hair and she had to put her hand over her mouth to stifle her giggle when she realized they were a little too small for his head. Though she had to admit they were cute and she just wanted to reach out and rub her fingers lightly over them, just like she used to do to Prim when she woke up with a nightmare and couldn't go back to sleep.
Katniss had been unknowingly reaching out to move a dark wisp of hair that covered his ear when that memory of Prim had come to her. The pain that had gripped her heart for so long flared up like a flame, making her suck her breath in from the sudden flash. She rolled back over and clutched at her chest, wanting the burning to stop. Slowly, with each deep breath, the burning subsided and she was able to loosen her grip and relax.
The sound of Katniss gasping for air caused Gale to stir from his peaceful sleep. He opened his eyes and looked around, confused by his surroundings for a few seconds. Then he remembered carrying Katniss into the living room to lay her down on the couch and her reaching out to take his hand and asking him to stay. His face flushed when he remembered how good it felt to hold her in his arms and have her snuggle her face into the side of his neck and how his heart swelled with hope when she had taken his hand and asked him to stay. He sighed, wishing that was the way it was and would always be. Then his thoughts turned to what had woken him up. There was a noise… Someone was gasping for air. Katniss! He bolted up and turned to see if she needed his help. He thought she might be having another nightmare but she seemed to be sleeping peacefully.
Katniss had sensed that he was awake and panic began to wrap around her again so she slowed her breathing and closed her eyes, pretending to be asleep. She knew she was not yet ready to face him or all the new thoughts swirling through her mind.
Gale's heart quieted its racing beat as he took in the peaceful look on her face. He sat there watching her sleep, just like he had done for so many nights since coming home. As he watched her slow even breaths, his breathing began to fall into sync with hers. He smiled a small lopsided grin, knowing that she'd finally had one night of peaceful, restful sleep. Though he knew when she woke up there would probably be hell to pay for carrying her in here, he didn't care, she needed to start taking care of herself and she needed the rest.
He loved those quiet moments when he would sit by her side, lightly touching her hand or arm as he memorized each of her features by the flickering light of the fire.
He had never dared to look at her... to really look at her, fearing that she would figure out how he truly felt about her. So instead he had stolen precious glimpses of her whenever he could.
As always, when she was sleeping he would sit and memorize the tiny details of her face. He loved the way her nose had that small bump on the bridge from when she had broken it when she was a little girl. She had been climbing the tree in her backyard when she had slipped and fell, hitting her nose on a branch on the way to the ground. Her dad had picked her up and held her as her mom fixed her nose and stopped the bleeding. Then her dad had taken her back out to the tree and they had climbed it together, sitting in the branches until her mother called them in for supper.
She had long dark eyelashes that brushed her cheeks and he had liked the feel of them on his cheek when he had kissed her and she'd shyly rubbed her nose against his before putting her forehead on his shoulder. Her lips were full and red and tasted like a warm summer rain as they parted softly for his kisses, though when she was in one of her stubborn moods they could be hard and unyielding. Her smiles were rare and usually reserved for Prim or for when they were in their woods, but they would light up her face and send a spark straight through his heart.
Her hair was long and fell in waves that framed her oval face. It was dark, just like his, and she liked to pull it back into a braid to keep it out of her face, but right down it was soft and flowing and covered the right side of her face, hiding her ear, but he knew those ears were small and cute and he just wanted to reach out and rub his fingers over them softly, like he used to do with Posy when she would fall asleep on his chest.
Katniss stirred slightly knocking Gale out of his trance and making him glance around the room with a guilty look on his face. She stirred again and he got to his feet, ready to head out to his bed before she woke up, not wanting her to know that he had been here all night with her.
Whenever he had come in to comfort her during one of her nightmares, he always made sure he was gone before she woke up. That was the best way to avoid her anger and the pain he had caused her that was reflected in her eyes. He stretched his arms above his head and thought, 'Wow!' That was the best night's sleep he had had in a long while.' He smiled down at Katniss and hoped she had a good night's sleep too.
As he smiled down at her, a gnawing little thought snuck into his mind about how angry she was going to be at him for carrying her into the living room last night. He debated with himself whether he should just head out to the woods right now to go hunting and avoid her anger until later tonight, or stay and face her. The word chicken flashed through his mind and he let out a little snort of laughter. 'Nope,' he thought. 'He knew from experience it was always wise to avoid her until she had a chance to cool down.' He headed quickly but quietly down the small hallway to the kitchen.
When he entered the kitchen he was met by the knowing smile of Greasy Sae sitting at the kitchen table, drinking a steaming cup of coffee. The smell of the coffee and the sight of Sae triggered his stomach to let out a loud growling reminder that he was really, really, hungry.
"Ahhh... good morning." Gale said sheepishly as he sent a quick glance back down the hallway.
Sae gave him a smirk as she corrected, "Good afternoon!"
"Afternoon? Really?" Gale was stunned as he walked over to the window to look outside. It really was the afternoon and he had slept in longer then he had done in... well... never really.
Gale turned around and ran a hand through his rumpled hair. "Sorry. Is there anything you need me to do today?"
Sae smiled, "No. Well... yes, actually." She got up and placed a plate of food on the table and poured a cup of coffee. "You can tell me what the hell happened last night."
Gale's mouth started to water at the sight and smell of the food and he sat down ready to dig in. "Wow! I'm starving!" Then he looked up at Sae, "Are you going to eat too?"
Sae smiled, knowing that that was the Seam boy in Gale. He would never sit down and eat in front of someone knowing they didn't have anything to eat or there wasn't enough to go around. It really was a testament of the times that he would even admit that he was starving. "Yes, I am," she tells him simply.
She shot him another knowing look. "I was just waiting for someone to wake up." Gale's face turned pink as he set to work on his potatoes.
Sae put her plate on the table and sat down across from him. "Ok. Give. What happened?"
"Nothing really," he said around a mouthful of potatoes.
Sae stopped eating and raised her right eyebrow at him, "Really? Because the state of that bathroom," she motiones toward it with her head, "tells a different story."
"Oh. Right. That." Inwardly, he winced as he stammered on, "I... Well... I helped Katniss take a bath."
Sae's spoon hung in midair as her face registered complete shock. "You did... what?"
Gale looked up quickly from his plate, realizing just what he had said. "Oh! No! I didn't help her take a bath" he gushed as his cheeks started to turn bright pink.
Sae set her spoon down and crossed her arms over her chest, giving him a raised eyebrow.
Gale's face flushed red as he dropped his fork and held up his hands, "No... no... I just... I..." As embarrassment coiled around him, he explained. "Okay. I picked her up and dropped her in the tub... clothes and all." Gale looked completely ashamed of himself as he lowered his eyes back down to the table.
Sae's eyes flew wide open and she leaned in over her plate. "NO! Really!?" Sae knew that Katniss wasn't the type of girl to take that kind of action lightly.
She moved back and sat a little straighter, her eyes squinting slightly as she asked conspiratorially, "What'd she do?"
Relief washed over Gale as he realized Sae wasn't going to yell at him or think less of him for his drastic actions. "Well... she decided to take a bath... I guess."
Sae sat back in her chair, shook her head, and looked at him suspiciously. "Really? Katniss just let you pick her up and drop her in the tub… and said nothing?" She paused for a brief moment then pursed her lips as she continued to shake her head vigorously, "No. No way. Not buying it."
Gale sheepishly added, "Ok... I did... maybe..." he glanced red faced at the bathroom door and mumbled, "dunk her under the water a couple of times."
Sae gasped, "NO!"
Gale continued to confess his despicable actions, "Yeah... and I kinda threatened to take her clothes off and give her a bath if she didn't do it herself."
Sae's jaw dropped again, "NOOO!" With utter disbelief edging each word she slowly said, "And she did... nothing?"
Gale heaved a heavy sigh, "Sae really... I am just glad she didn't because... I could have... I would have never... never done that to her."
Sae's forehead creased as she dumbly repeated, "And she did nothing?"
If she had have called me out on that one..." Gale continued with relief.
Sae looked Gale straight in the eye and asked, "She just took a bath?"
Gale gave her a pink-faced, lopsided grin, "Yeah! Hard to believe! I know!"
He added, "And she ate, too."
Sae's mouth gaped open again, "No?! Really?"
"Yeah." He continued proudly, "She ate everything on her plate and part of mine while I combed out the tangles in her hair."
Sae just shook her head. "She just took a bath and then ate. Huh! I have been working on that girl for months to clean up and take a bath and you waltz in and get it done just like that. Huh."
Gale went on matter-of-factly, "Yes... well... sometimes it takes something drastic to get Katniss to change."
"Huh." Sae shook her head again and picked up her fork and started eating, trying to figure out the boy in front of her.
Gale shook his head and resumed eating also saying, "I know, right!?"
Both of them were startled as Katniss cleared her throat and entered the room.
Sae immediately got up and placed a plate of food on the table for Katniss. "Good afternoon, honey. You must be starving," she said as she shot Gale a look while she poured Katniss a cup of hot coffee.
"Afternoon?" Katniss glanced out the window as she sat down at the table.
"Yes, it's going on late in the afternoon. Did you have a good sleep?" Sae sat down and picked up her fork as she looked at Katniss with a smile tugging the corners of her mouth.
Katniss shot Gale a long hard look as he lowered his eyes and concentrated intently on his plate. She signed and said, "Actually... Yes, I did."
Gale shot her a quick look of relief and sat up straighter in his chair. That was not the reaction he had expected at all. 'Huh,' he thought, 'maybe a good night's sleep put her in a better mood.' He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye as he shoveled in a mouthful of food. In that split second of wondering about her good mood he decided it was time to try again.
Gale coughed slightly to clear his throat and looked at her. "Katniss, I was thinking about heading down to the lake for a while. Maybe staying there and doing some hunting and fishing." Heart pounding, he breathed in deep and said, "Would you like to come with me?"
Katniss stared at her plate, pushing the food around. She thought about her dream and the last things that Prim had said to her before being lost in the swirling mist. Was she really able to forgive herself for everything that she had done? She glanced up at Gale from under her eyelashes and studied him. Was she really able to forgive him and move on with her life? And maybe... move on with their lives together.
She wrinkled her brow as a thought entered her mind. Maybe it was Peeta she needed to forgive. Was it a sense of obligation or love that she had for him? Was he the one she needed? She let out a long sigh of frustration at not really knowing the answer to any of her questions.
Gale and Greasy Sae looked at each other, knowing what the other was thinking. Usually Katniss gave him a quick loud 'no'. But this time she seemed to be actually considering the idea. Sae and Gale both slipped their hands under the table and crossed their fingers, hoping this would be the moment Katniss would finally say yes and begin moving forward with her life.
The more she considered going to the lake with Gale, the more her thoughts became jumbled and the more her frustration grew. Katniss reached up to rub her temples, hoping to stop the headache that was starting to grow behind her eyes. Finally she had had enough and was about to say no when Prim's smiling face flashed across her mind, followed by her very last words... 'the woods' and 'the lake.' Katniss looked up at Gale and said, "Yes."
Gale and Sae's eyebrows shot up and their mouths dropped open as they looked at her with twin frozen expressions of shock and utter disbelief. It took her a few moments, but Sae was the one who recovered first as she turned toward Gale. She saw the shocked expression still on his face and knew she probably still looked the same herself. She closed her mouth and reached up to run a hand quickly over her forehead.
Sae coughed loudly and glared at Gale, trying to will him to say something back to Katniss. Finally, realizing that he wasn't going to respond anytime soon, she gave him a quick swift kick to the shin to get his attention.
Gale jumped and turned to look at Sae as he let out an "Ouch!" then grabbed and rubbed his shin under the table. Sae rolled her eyes at him and bent her head toward Katniss several times.
Gale closed his eyes and shook his head, realizing what Sae was saying and what a total idiot he was being right now. Sitting up, he turned toward Katniss and said, "Great! We can leave first thing in the morning, if that's okay with you?"
As soon as she had said yes to Gale, the doubt and confusion began to close around her again. Her heart began to race and her face flushed with sweat as she started to rub at her temples again. Why was she reacting this way? She loved the lake. It always made her feel calm and sure of herself; she felt more prepared and able to do what she had to do when she went there. When had she started letting fear and uncertainty run her life?
Maybe it was because before, she did things because she had no choice. She was the one who had to step up and take care of Prim and her mother. So she did what she had to do to survive. She just pushed fear down and went out into the woods on her own to hunt for what they needed. Then again in the Games... she had no choice. She had to survive to come home and take care of Prim. But now... She was just so very tired and afraid of everything. Sometimes she thought she just couldn't feel anything for anyone anymore and then other times she was just so completely overwhelmed by everything she had ever felt for everyone.
'Prim,' Katniss thought. 'Prim... I need you now. I need you so much. Help me do this. Please.' As that thought went through her mind, a calmness began to wrap itself around her and her racing heart slowed down. She was able to breathe again.
Finally she looked at Gale and with more pluck then she really felt, she said, "I think if we get started soon we could probably be down to the lake before it gets dark."
Gale looked out the window to gage the time of day, then nodded his head yes. "I think we can get there before dark if we get moving."
Sae stood up, "You two finish eating because you haven't eaten anything at all today. I'll go get you some clothes to change into and pack some extra stuff for you to take with you." She started to walk out of the kitchen, then stopped and asked Gale, "Is it okay if we put her things in your duffel bag?"
Gale said, "Yes," around a mouthful of food.
As she was walking up the hallway, Sae shot over her shoulder, "There is more food in the oven, so make sure you eat enough."
Gale got up and got the pan out of the oven and sat it down on the table. As he dished up more food onto his plate, he asked Katniss, "Do you want more too?"
She gave him a slight smile, "Yep, I'm hungry today!"
Gale smiled at her and let hope fill his heart that this could be the beginning of new things for them.
They both finished up their meals as Sae entered the kitchen carrying some clothes. Katniss got up and took what she needed and headed into the bathroom to change as Gale got his duffle bag off the porch and took out the things he wouldn't really need. Then stuffed Katniss's clothes on top of his stuff and couldn't help but smile at the sight of their things squished together. He took the duffle bag out to the porch and rolled up his sleeping bag, then tied it onto the green bag.
When he came back into the kitchen, Katniss was just stuffing the leg of her pants into her boots. She stood up as Sae handed Gale a loaf of bread and some items from the bathroom to put in his bag.
Sae looked at Gale, "Okay, you two had better get moving." She smiled at Gale and gave him the best reassuring look that she could. "You two be safe now."
Gale smiled and nodded to Sae. "We will." He turned toward Katniss, "You ready?"
Katniss rubbed her sweaty hands on her pant legs and tried her best to swallow the lump that was forming in her throat which she was pretty sure was coming from her stomach that seemed to be tied into knots right now. She was starting to sweat and the urge to tell Gale no was pushing at the front of her head. She glanced over at the seat by the fire, thinking that if she just went over there and sat down, she could wrap the blanket tight around her and all these feeling would go away.
She swallowed hard and rubbed her forehead, then glanced up at Gale. She looked into those gray eyes that were filled with worry and maybe even hope. She looked over at Sae and saw the exact same expression in her eyes and on her face. Katniss took one final deep, slow breath and said, "Yes. Let's get going."
Gale let out the breath he didn't know he was holding, shot Sae a relieved look, and then grabbed up the items and headed out to the porch to stuff them in the top of his duffle bag.
Katniss crossed over to the door, then stopped and grabbed her dad's hunting jacket and slipped it on. As soon as her arms slid into the sleeves she started to feel different... stronger... not so alone. She smiled slightly and took another deep but more refreshing breath. She then grabbed her hunting bag and settled it across her chest as she pushed the screen door open and stepped out on to the porch for the first time in... how long had it been? She really had no idea how long she had been home.
Gale stood up and settled the duffle bag onto his back as he gave her a quick smile. "Ready?" Katniss nodded yes. Still smiling, Gale jumped off the porch, looking expectantly behind him. Katniss crossed to the top of the steps and looked out over the Victors Village. Most things here hadn't really changed. The bombs had destroyed the Town and Seam areas, but the Victors Village had been spared. The thought crossed her mind that Snow had done that on purpose; to make her realize that everything she knew could and would be taken away from her and that there was nothing she could do to stop him. It was a constant reminder that her life wasn't hers anymore and he controlled every detail. Even the person she wanted to love was no longer her choice. She rubbed at her temples again as thoughts of Peeta and Gale pounded through her brain.
Gale stood at the bottom of the steps, looking up worriedly at her, "Katniss? If we're going to make it to the lake before it gets dark we have to get moving."
Katniss took another long, slow, deep breath and slid her foot over the edge of the porch onto the first riser. 'So it begins,' she thought, as her feet touched the ground for the first time in months.
Gale led the way up the newly paved road out of the Victors Village and towards the heart of the town. Katniss was amazed at the progress that had already been made over the months that she had been home. The rubble had been cleared away and new stores were going up. It seemed the workers were working on several buildings at one time. There were new Town homes in the distance and when they crossed the Town Square she could see new and better homes going up in the Seam. She couldn't help but smile at all the progress that had been made. This was truly a testament to the resilience of the people in District Twelve. Their homes may have been destroyed, but they were willing to roll up their sleeves and put in all the backbreaking work necessary to bring their District back to life again.
As Gale and Katniss made their way through the Town, she had noticed out of the corner of her eye that workers were stopping and staring at her. She tried her best not to let that bother her and kept her eyes moving, taking in all that had been accomplished in such a short time and concentrating on each step she was taking, willing herself not to turn around and run back to the safety and comfort of her chair and her little fire.
Finally they turned up the road leading out to the meadow. Her pace began to quicken and her heart began to pound louder in her chest. She soon passed Gale as they both stepped out into the meadow. It was everything she remembered was. Everything was green with new vibrant life. She took in a deep refreshing breath, filling her nose and lungs with the scent of sweet summer grass and pine. The grass was getting tall, almost up to her knees, and brushed at her pants. The old ugly electric fence was gone now, which made the meadow look bigger and more beautiful than ever before.
Gale's already huge smile widened even more as he watched Katniss head for the big old oak tree that marked the spot where they would crawl under the fence. He almost laughed out loud when she stopped at the spot and looked around the meadow, checking to see if anyone was watching. 'Yes,' he thought, 'old habits do die hard.'
It took Katniss a few minutes to realize that she no longer had to check for Peace Keepers or anyone else watching her head out into the woods. She shook her head and smiled inwardly at the thought that they really were free now. Free to go out into the woods that they loved at anytime they wanted to go. The woods. It was the only place she ever felt truly free. Free to be herself. If she was honest, Gale was the only person she was ever really comfortable being herself around. She glanced over at Gale who was standing back, watching her with a big cheezy grin on his face. She turned back to the woods as she shook her head because she didn't know whether to laugh at him or go over and slap that goofy ass grin off his face. Instead she breathed in the scent of summer grass and pine and stepped forward into her woods for the first time in a long time, feeling things change almost immediately. It was like she had crossed an invisible barrier. With each step she took down the familiar path to their spot, she could feel the energy from the earth seep up through her feet, spreading slowly up her body and filling her with something she hadn't felt in a very long time… Hope.
Gale fell into step behind her, still wearing that huge cheezy grin. Just like Katniss he could feel the energy from their woods seep up from the ground, giving him hope that he would get his Catnip back soon.