So this one has been ready for a few days, but I kept meaning to get back to it to proof-read it one last time...and then I got distracted. But, here it is! So there's that.
As always, read, review, enjoy!
Tony learns the hard way that sometimes spells don't really work as planned. Well, maybe not the hard way. The less pleasant way, because the spell doesn't go awry on him.
It goes awry on Loki.
And it's hilarious.
There's a certain feel to the air that Tony has come to realize means Loki's in the vicinity. He feels it when he enters the lab, even though the black haired god isn't in sight. Tony shrugs and continues with what he's doing. Sometimes Loki stops in and, when Tony isn't right there, he'll move on, his magic lingering in the lab. Sometimes Loki likes to wait for him invisible, in case others walk into the lab, and reveals himself eventually. At all times, Loki likes doing what he wants. Tony learned to stop questioning this a long time ago.
What he's not prepared for is the black haired, green-eyed cat that's sitting on his lab chair. Tony stops, blinks, opens his mouth, and then shuts it again.
"I don't have a cat," he says out loud finally. The cat's tail flicks in annoyance, eyes narrowing slightly. The cat seems to be saying don't be stupid. Of course you don't. And you still don't.
"So. I'm going to assume that something went wrong," Tony says, taking the good chance that it's not just any cat sitting there but is, in fact, Loki. The cat jumps down from the chair in approval. "And how long are you stuck like this?" Somehow, Loki manages to give a shrug, even with the cat form. "And the chances that you're just going to turn yourself back at any second?" Loki saunters off, somehow nosing the door to the lab open, and disappears upstairs. "Of course," Tony sighs. "Apparently I have a cat now."
He wanders upstairs, figuring it's better to tell the rest of the team now before they bring Loki back to him, probably kicking and spitting if he's translating Loki's personality correctly into cat. The team has congregated for movie night but Tony, expecting Loki's visit, had declined. They stare at him when he emerges from the elevator, assuming that whatever brought him to them is probably important.
"So. I've adopted a cat briefly," Tony says. "So if you see a skinny little black thing running around, just ignore him. Please, please, just ignore him."
The team blinks back at him, not that differently from how he reacted when he found Loki. "Uh, a cat?" Clint says, looking around a little hesitantly. Before Tony can get the "is the little bird afraid of the cat" joke out, Steve intervenes.
"Briefly?"
"Yeah, watching him for a friend and shit. Don't worry about it. He'll probably stay in-"
"You have friends?" Clint asks, part serious, part teasing. Tony rubs the bridge of his nose and thinks of what he puts up with for Loki. He hopes the trickster appreciates the sacrifices he makes.
"Yes, bird boy, I have friends and unless you want me to feed you to the cat I'd-"
"I wasn't aware Colonel Rhodes had a cat," Natasha puts in, and yeah, Tony should've expected that they'd have a complete file on the man. He does, after all, have almost complete ownership of a suit.
"I have friends other than-" Tony cuts off at the look she gives him. "Okay, so I don't. But the cat is Rhodes," he lies. "Just got him not too long ago. Has to do some training thing."
Natasha looks at him skeptically, but Steve is already giving his approval before she can call it into question.
"My brother used to take a form similar to your Earth cats once," Thor says helpfully. Tony wants to hit his head against a wall or throw something at Thor to shut him up. The last thing he needs is a suspicious team and Thor on the lookout for a black cat. "He stopped taking the form when he learned to shift into other of the Aseir."
"Well, I'll let you know if I see any trickster gods running around the place. Especially if they're going to throw me out windows again," Tony says, going back to the elevator. If he's lucky, Loki will be waiting for him back in the lab. That's not usually his type of luck though.
It's also not within Loki's personality.
Tony spends the entire night finding him in the worst places. Clint gets a vicious scratch when he throws Loki from his room. Steve gets himself cornered by the cat's spitting and hissing form. Bruce, Loki avoids entirely, but Tony has to pull him out of Bruce's empty room, where the god looked ready to be getting into all sorts of mischief.
He lets Loki do what he wants in Thor's room. He never gets between the gods' eternal argument.
Tony finally forfeits the idea of ever getting any work done in the lab and shuts it down, just as Loki returns. Before Tony can say anything, Loki is putting his claws into Tony's clothes, climbing up him until he's perched on his shoulder.
"I don't know why I put up with you," Tony mumbles, making his way up to the living room where the team is starting to come down for breakfast. Clint glares at the cat sleepily and receives a hiss in response.
"I always hated cats," Clint says, accepting the plate of food Steve pushes in front of him.
"That's because you're a reincarnated bird," Natasha says without looking up from her tablet where she's reading through her emails. "Personally, the cat and I get along fine."
"Of course you do," Tony mutters. Loki purrs louder, quite pleased with himself.
"Are you joining us for breakfast, Tony?" Steve asks, already exasperated with him and his strange hours.
"Nope. I'm off to bed. I spent all night rescuing poor birds from evil cats."
"Has anyone seen Bruce?" Steve asks with a frown. "He seemed a little put off by the cat."
"He slept in his lab last night. He was working on some project," Tony says, collecting his piece of toast.
"You mean he was hiding from the heathen cat?" Clint asks. Natasha "accidently" bumps him with her shoulder. "Or he was really working on a project. Got it."
Tony gives his farewell and makes his way upstairs. He collapses on the bed and, for a second, expects Loki's weight to settle next to him before a pair of claws remind him what he's stuck with. As he eases into sleep, a warm bundle of fur curls up along his stomach, a quiet rumbling issuing from Loki's cat body. Tony smiles and gives him a scratch as his entire body relaxes.
He's less amused when he wakes up in the afternoon with a cat body draped over his neck. He starts to move and Loki opens a lazy eye to give him a death glare.
"I'm hungry," Tony says. Loki eyes him a little longer before he manipulates his body off of Tony. The second he gets up, Loki moves in and curls up in the warmth left on the bed. "Maybe Clint is right; maybe you are a heathen." Loki doesn't even open an eye.
"Morning," Bruce says as Tony emerges into the kitchen. He pushes a coffee mug down the table to Tony and he grabs it up and inhales its sweet scent.
"You're a god among men Bruce, don't let anyone tell you otherwise."
Bruce smiles. "Don't let either of the gods we know hear you say that."
Tony chokes on the coffee he's drinking before he realizes that Bruce means the statement innocently. "Speaking of people we know, where is everyone?"
"Thor's with Jane. The rest are training I believe."
"I don't know why I expected anything else. That's all they ever do." Bruce stares at Tony with amusement all over his face. "What?"
"Tony, all you do is spend time in your lab. I don't think you get to judge them."
Tony can't think of a decent response to that, but gets saved by the appearance of Loki. Just like Steve had said earlier, Bruce does seem put off by Loki. "Not a cat fan Bruce?"
"Usually I am," Bruce says, eyeing Loki as he unconsciously moves further away. "But, I don't know, something about this particular cat sets the other guy off. Are you sure he's a normal cat?"
Loki jumps up onto the table and promptly starts drinking out of a water glass that was left behind. "Believe me, Rhodes doesn't do anything except normal."
"Except for the fact that he's friends with you and has his own Iron Man suit?"
"Yes, exactly. And thank you for not calling it the Iron Patriot. What a terrible name."
"I didn't think it was a terrible name," Bruce defends. Loki takes a few steps towards Bruce, but when the man tenses, he retreats back to Tony, curling up on his lap. "I didn't know you liked cats."
"Better than dogs," Tony says with a shrug. "Dogs are so needy. Cats just do what they want by themselves."
"It's good to know your anti-social tendencies are translated to what pet you like," a new voice says from the door. Tony turns in his chair so quickly that Loki puts his claws into Tony's legs and yowls his protest.
"Pepper!" Tony says. Tony stands up without accounting for Loki who, with the skill and agility only the god could have, manages to climb his way up to Tony's shoulder. He catches a flash of Bruce frowning before he's caught up in Pepper's world. She's always had this ability to catch him in her orbit.
"Where'd the cat come from?" she asks. Tony throws an arm over her shoulder and leads her away from anywhere the team could sneak up on them.
"It's Rhodes' cat," Tony says carelessly, in a tone that only Pepper would know meant for her to not ask any questions.
"Is he at training again?" she asks casually as he leads her into the elevator. As soon as the doors shut, she drops the façade. "And whose cat is this really?"
"No one's," Tony says. Pepper stares at him and he manages to ignore it for a little bit by not looking at her, but finally he relents. "Loki."
"The cat is Loki's or the cat is Loki?" Pepper asks, peering at the cat who's draped over Tony's shoulder. When she raises a finger questioningly to Loki's nose, the god rubs his head along it.
"Suck up," Tony mutters.
"Do I even want to know how this happened?"
"I don't even know, so probably not," Tony says. The elevator lets them off at Tony's lab and he checks to make sure that the team isn't lurking around before stepping off.
"So the story you're going with is that the cat is Rhodey's and he's at training?"
"Yeah, it was the best I could think of. I'm hoping this is a short term thing." Loki launches himself off of Tony's shoulders to land gracefully on one of the work tables. Tony sends a half-hearted glare at the cat before falling into one of the chairs.
"Have you gotten him anything to eat yet?" Pepper asks. When Tony stares at her, she groans.
"Tony, just because Loki is a cat doesn't mean he doesn't need to eat!"
"Well I'm not going to feed him cat food!" Tony complains. Loki hisses from the work table to underline that statement.
"Then feed him regular food! He still needs to eat! Whatever happened probably drained his energy and that's why he's stuck like this. He needs food and sleep to change back."
Loki is up in seconds and winding in and around Pepper's feet. She leans down to pick him up and he drapes himself over her shoulders, sending a glare at Tony, who protests uselessly.
"I've got some time before I have to be back to work," Pepper says soothingly to Loki, scratching along his chin. Loki is clearly in heaven. Tony shoots death glares back at the cat. Pepper slides a stack of papers she had dropped off earlier in front of Tony. "I need those signed by the time I come back. Come on Loki. We'll go find some food for both of us."
"Stay away from Bruce!" Tony yells after the pair, though they clearly could care less what he said.
Despite Pepper saying she only had a few minutes left before returning to work, Tony doesn't see her the rest of the day. Nor does he see Loki. He takes the suit out to test some new modifications and when he comes back, there's food in place of the paperwork. Without the added worry of Loki, Tony easily throws himself back into work. He finishes everything he was supposed to get done yesterday, and then starts on the long to-do list that is a mix of personal, S.H.I.E.L.D, and Stark Industries tasks.
He loses himself in a work binge. It feels great, because it's the first one that he's been able to do for a while—Steve was always interrupting him, making him sleep and eat. He's just finishing up one project when he feels warmth and fur on his lap. It startles him out of his work daze and he looks down to see a cat sitting on his lap, staring at him expectantly.
Right. Loki. Still a cat.
"Where the hell have you been all day?" Tony asks without thinking. Loki lightly puts his claws into Tony's legs, then stands up, flicking his tail high in the air. It's a clear look of superiority. "Good for you," Tony says idly. Now that the crisis is solved, he's ready to get back to work. But as soon as his focus starts slipping off Loki, the cat puts his claws back out. "Not now, Loks," he says, trying to brush the cat off his lap. As the tiny part of him that's still alert of him assumed, it's just as easy to get rid of cat-Loki as it is to get rid of god-Loki.
The cat digs his claws in deeper.
"Jesus no wonder people get their cats declawed," Tony mutters as he leans back. Loki, clearly pleased with himself, jumps off Tony's lap and starts walking to the door. He stops halfway there, looking back, clearly waiting for Tony to follow. "Loki, I have work to get done."
The cat gives him the clear I could care less look and remains where he is.
"You have been working for over 10 hours sir," Jarvis puts in.
"Oh great, now you speak cat too?" Tony asks.
"I was merely stating a fact, sir," Jarvis says far too innocently.
"Right, of course." Loki gives a noise that might be a meow but sounds suspiciously like him saying Tony's name. He stands up and switches his tail. Tony sighs. "Fine. Where are we going, heathen cat?"
Loki leads him to the elevator, then uses Tony to reach the button he needs to push with his paw. "No, of course, use me like your own personal play toy," he grumbles, determined to be upset at the interruption. Loki's only reaction is to give a smug look.
The elevator lets them off on the common room floor. The team is gathered in the living room, eating pizza and arguing lazily about what to watch on T.V. Before Tony can retreat, Clint catches sight of him.
"Tony!" he calls. "You would totally side with me. Are the older Batman movies better than the newer ones?"
Tony has no choice but to leave the elevator as everyone turns to look at him. "The older ones of course. Although it depends on which actor is playing Batman. But some of the tech they use for the special effects on the new ones makes the movie totally worth it," Tony says as he snags a piece of pizza.
"And how much of it did you help create?" Natasha asks.
"Barely any of it!" Tony defends. "Mostly because I used all of the stuff they did for a totally different reason, but that's beside the point."
"Are you joining us for a movie? Your vote puts us in favor of watching an older Batman," Steve asks. Good lord, there is child-like enthusiasm about Tony joining them. Loki jumps off of Tony's shoulders and lays down on the back of the couch, right above Tony's usual spot. Tony rolls his eyes and sits down.
"I guess so. You just want me to stay because you want to see something from your era for once."
"The first Batman movie came out while I was overseas," Steve says sheepishly. "I never got a chance to see it."
"Annnnd there's the guilt trip," Clint says, his eyes on Natasha. The woman groans and throws herself back in the couch.
"Fine. We'll watch crappy acting with crappy special effects," she says. Clint hands her another piece of pizza triumphantly, which she snatches from his hand.
It turns out a really crappy movie is exactly what everyone needed. Between Tony's biting sarcastic comments, Bruce's helpful pointers on how physics actually works, and Thor's easy amusement, all of them spend the night laughing on the couch. Even Natasha smiles through most of the movie and laughs once. Of course, Tony has to pause the movie and they have to have a celebration in the name of Natasha taking another step towards learning to become human. This leads to ice cream, which they are still eating when the movie ends, so of course they start another movie. At the end of that movie, Steve herds them into the elevator like the mother they always make fun of him for being, and tells them to get sleep. Everyone is so relaxed that they barely react to the fact that cat-Loki is draped over Tony's shoulders. Tony's a little impressed that cat-Loki isn't taking advantage of it. Natasha even gives him a scratch on her way out of the elevator. Clint doesn't glare at the cat, so Tony takes that as a win.
Once Tony gets into the bedroom, he realizes he's far too awake to go to sleep. Sure, sometimes he can sleep twice in two days, but it's rare. Loki jumps off of him and sits on the bed, looking at Tony to join him. When Tony flops onto the bed, Loki curls up beside him and, despite the fact that Tony was totally not tired at all, he falls asleep.
When he wakes up this time, he expects cat-Loki, so when a not-cat body moves against him, he's a little caught off guard. If being caught off guard consists of an abrupt awakening, pushing away from said body, and falling out of bed. When Tony surfaces, Loki is sleepily stirring.
"What happened?" he asks, like this happens every day to him. Maybe it does. Tony can't say.
"I think you just gave me a heart attack," he says. Loki groans and gracelessly sinks back into the bed.
"If that's all, I'm going back to bed."
Tony opens and closes his mouth, but his lips never form the protest that's on his tongue. Not that it matters anyway. Loki's already asleep. Tony takes a moment to recognize that for once, he's not the one sleeping while Loki watches on before he denies that he's smiling and leaves the room.
Loki finds Tony down in the lab where he's busy working on some coding or other. It's late in the afternoon, later than he's used to waking up. Jarvis has informed him that all of the other Avengers are safely in the training room, out of the tower, or, in Bruce's case, in their own lab, so Loki can walk freely around the house.
"You didn't even stay with me while I slept," Loki says as he enters the lab. "I think I should be offended."
"If you were in this relationship for the romance, Steve's a floor up," Tony says without looking up. But he slides his cup of coffee in Loki's direction, which is saying something. Loki only picked up the habit of coffee drinking because of all the time he spends around Tony, but even then he always gets his own cup—Tony doesn't share very well. And, on top of that, when Loki takes a drink, it's suspiciously exactly how he likes it—the bitter coffee taste that Tony loves so much softened with a touch of creamer. "Do I get to know how, exactly, you became a cat?" Tony asks.
"A hazard of trying new spells, I fear. It happens every once in a while."
"And how did you manage to find your way here?"
"Much like I still needed to eat," Loki says with a pointed look over the coffee mug. Tony doesn't even look back. "I could still travel. It took less energy, actually, to travel as a cat than in my normal form."
"As long as you keep to house pets, we can totally still make this work," Tony says as he leans back. As he expected, Loki is already there to lean forward and rest his body against Tony's shoulders.
"How are you going to explain my disappearance to the team?"
"Most of them won't be upset to hear you've gone," Tony says with a smirk, still picturing Clint's nervous face. "But I've got an idea."
Loki smiles.
"Where'd the cat go?" Clint asks as he hesitantly enters the room.
"Hm?" Tony asks. His face is pointed down at a tablet resting on the table.
"The cat. Where is it?" He's checking the tops of the cabinets now. Wary. On guard.
"What cat?"
Clint stops his survey to look at Tony in disbelief. "The heathen black cat that was pretty much inseparable from you the last two days. The one that Rhodes owns."
Tony looked up at him in puzzlement. "Rhodey doesn't own a cat. He travels way too much for that. The army would kill him."
"But…but this cat was everywhere. How can you possibly be denying there's a cat?"
"What cat?" Pepper asks as she enters the kitchen.
"Clint seems to think we have a cat somewhere in this house."
"Tony would never get a cat. He would forget to feed it."
"Look! It scratched me! It hissed at me at every chance!"
"Clint, you just got back from sparring. Can you honestly tell me that you didn't get it there?" Tony asks patiently.
"Yes, because it was scratched into my arm by a cat!"
"What's going on?" Steve asks.
"Clint thinks there was a cat in the house."
Steve looks at Tony. "There was. You told us he was Rhodey's."
Pepper looks at Steve. "He doesn't have time for a cat," she says. "Plus Rhodey is more of a dog person. He'd never get a cat."
"But he was always draped over Tony's shoulders whenever he came up into the living room," Steve protests.
"Right?" Clint turns to Steve in defense.
"Right. Okay, so we should probably cut you guys off from that pizza we had last night. It's making you hallucinate," Tony says.
"Jarvis, you can show us footage!" Clint says, desperate.
"I apologize Agent Barton. I have no record of any cat being in the house."
"What about last night?" Steve asks. "There was a cat on the back of the couch!"
Jarvis brings up the footage of the team watching movies from several different angles, but not one showed a cat on the back of the couch.
"But…but there was a cat there," Steve says weakly.
"Uh-huh. Let me know if you find a cat in the house," Tony says. "Did you need something Ms. Potts?"
"More paperwork, Mr. Stark," she responds.
"To the lab!" Tony says, hooking his arm through hers and leading her to the elevator.
"They're going to figure it out eventually," Pepper says through her smile once the elevator doors shut. Tony grins at her.
"Oh I know. But did you see Clint's face? Totally worth it."
"Sometimes I question if Loki really is a good influence on you," she says, but her eyes are still smiling. "Your paperwork is sitting on your work table," she tells him as the elevator opens up to his lab. "I'm headed home." She kisses his cheek as he leaves the elevator and gives him her patented "get the paperwork done or there will be consequences" glare.
"Loki still sleeping?" Tony asks Jarvis as he enters the lab.
"Yes sir. He was asking for you earlier, but I informed him that you were otherwise occupied."
"Bet that made him happy," Tony says as he stares down at the latest project. He's stuck and it annoys him like no other. Well. That's not completely true. He lives with a house full of superheroes and is dating a former supervillain turned trickster god. There are things that annoy him more.
"I do not believe he stayed awake long enough to fully hear the reasoning, sir."
"Man, that spell really knocked him down," Tony says, barely even paying attention. He stares at the monitor of coding. Finally he groans and rolls his shoulders. "Send it to my tablet upstairs, Jarvis."
"I have already done so, sir," Jarvis says. Tony spares a second to wonder if he should be worried that Jarvis is getting too smart for his own good before he shrugs and leaves the lab.
Loki is sprawled out on the bed, sleeping like the dead. He doesn't even stir when Tony opens the door. As soon as he sits on the bed though, Loki moves towards him, so his shoulder is just barely brushing Tony's leg. Tony props the tablet up on the other leg and settles in to get some work done.