I've got nothing this time, other than thanks for those who are still with us and those of you who are still reviewing! I've got a few oneshots lined up, but I'll space them out a little bit so you guys don't get overloaded with (hopefully) awesomeness.
Read, review, enjoy!
"Tony." The voice is loud, and there's a hand on his shoulder. Tony grunts and tries to shrug it off. They can't keep getting mad at him for not sleeping when they insist on waking him up all the time. "Tony, c'mon, if you don't get up, I'm sending Natasha or Clint down to wake you up."
Tony jumps awake. The last time Nat woke him up, it was with a knife thudding down between his legs, far too close to certain body parts for him to be comfortable. Clint is always finding new, brutal ways to wake him up. "What?" he asks, coming to attention instantly. Steve is standing over him, already in his Captain America uniform. His expression is grim.
"We got a call. Apparently Loki is in New York again."
Tony is seconds from telling him that Loki has always been in New York before he remembers that no one actually knows that Tony's been seeing Loki for a while now. "Are you saying I have to suit up?"
"Fury called us all in, so yes. Everyone else is on their way to the quinjet, but I'm sure you'll beat us there. Thor is on his way as well. He'll meet you there."
"Got it. Cool." Tony stands up and looks around to realize he'd fallen asleep in his lab.
"Yeah, you fell asleep a couple hours ago. Jarvis assured us that you'd be fine sleeping down here for this time only," Steve says in that threatening tone that Tony immediately decides to challenge.
"Uh-huh, sure Cap. Better get going," he says. Jarvis has already pulled out a flight suit for him. A few minutes later, he's got the suit on and is soaring over the sky scrapers.
"Man of Iron!" Thor's voice booms happily over the coms.
"Hey big guy. What're we looking at?"
"My brother has come out to play and has conducted a most glorious trick!" Thor says as he comes into Tony's line of sight. Tony pulls up, already worried about what his mischief making boyfriend had done now.
"A glorious-oh." In front of Tony, wandering down the streets, is a giant cat. Seriously. It had knocked one of the metal globe statutes off its stand and was chasing it down the street. "Uh, guys?"
"How bad is it?" Steve's voice is hard and prepared for the worst.
"Have you actually seen what we got called in for?" Tony asks. "You know what? I can't even properly describe this. You just have to see it for yourself."
"We are-is that a giant cat?" Natasha's voice is so full of disbelief that Tony can't help but laugh.
Thor is laughing beside him. "My brother is feeling much happiness on this day!"
"Is there protocol for how to deal with this?" Clint asks.
"I'm not-I don't think so?" Steve says.
"Did Fury actually give us any instructions on what he wanted done with it?" Natasha asks.
"Guys. Guys I'm totally going to go ride it," Tony says. The cat pounces on the ball and then rolls on its back in the middle of the street, where a sunbeam breaks through the building. Other than a few minor dents in the surrounding buildings and some flipped and smashed cars, the cat has caused little damage.
"Tony, no, don't-" Steve starts.
"A most wonderful idea, friend Stark!" Thor laughs. "Perhaps we might move it to where it will do less damage to the buildings around it."
"Yes, do that," Steve says quickly. "Let's move it to-"
"Where do you want to move it to, Cap? The pound?" Clint laughs. The quinjet pulls up and lands beside Thor and Tony and Clint joins the pair, sizing up the cat.
"Why would Loki do this?" Natasha asks, but there's a slight smile at the corner of her lips.
"Perhaps my brother was bored," Thor says with his beaming smile. "Or perhaps he made it as a present!"
Tony, who's remembering the cat incident a month ago, is thinking it's a little bit of both. In Loki's defense, Tony did say that animals would be easy to disguise around the team. Of course, he hadn't meant cats that were two stories high, but still. Tony's trying hard not to smile.
"I don't pay you people to stand around." Fury's voice interrupts.
"Technically you don't pay some of us at all," Tony feels the need to point out. He's pretty sure he's the only one who's not getting paid—in fact he's actually paying S.H.I.E.L.D—but it's the principle of the matter.
"What exactly do you want us to do with…the giant cat?" Steve asks. The cat scratches it's back along the pavement and it shakes the ground as it purrs.
"There's a containment unit just outside of the city, ready to shrink it back down to its proper size. Apparently the cat…disappeared from a humane society a day ago."
"Are we just supposed to pick it up?" Steve asks skeptically.
"Psh, what are you, Steve? Afraid of a cat? Even the hawk over here isn't scared, although the same can't be said about tiny cats."
"Regular sized cats are evil. That thing…is just cute."
Tony jumps off the building and let's his thrusters take him down easily. He takes the mask off, though he can still hear Steve protesting. "Here, kitty," Tony calls. When he was little, he loved cats. He still does, he just didn't have time for one. Although he's pretty sure a lot of Loki's less...desirable traits as a cat stuck with him after he changed back, so it's practically like owning a cat. The cat's ears perk up and the cat turns its head to look at him. It rolls over to its side and meows at him. Tony continues to move forward. When he gets within a few feet of the cat, it rolls to its feet and moves tentatively to him the rest of the way. He holds his hand out and the cat instantly moves up and begins to rub up against him. Except he's tiny, compared to the cat, and he's easily knocked over. This, of course, doesn't dissuade the cat, who continues to rub up against him. Tony laughs and begins to scratch the cat. It's fun…
Until the cat rolls onto him.
"Oh god," Tony says as he struggles to breath. The cat, not understanding the problem, continues to roll back and forth. Thor, the grinning bastard, lands beside the pair, a laughing Clint on his back. "I'm going to kill you both, as soon as you get this cat off my lungs."
It doesn't take much, however. The cat instantly runs to the new people, allowing Tony to suck in precious air.
In the end, Clint got to ride the cat while Tony used his armor in a way he never had before—to reflect sunlight onto the pavement and lure the cat out of the city. Thor followed along, laughing uproariously the entire time. Natasha let him know that she had taken pictures, and she was not afraid to use them. Steve was still looking bewildered about the whole situation.
"Relax, Capsicle. Loks was just having some fun," Tony says, clapping him on the shoulder after they turn the cat over to S.H.I.E.L.D.
"Since when did Loki have a nickname?" Natasha asks, eyes narrowed.
"Everyone has a nickname in my world," Tony defends, thankful when she seems to except that.
When he gets back to the workshop, he can feel Loki's magic in the air. He lowers himself onto the couch with a groan because that cat rolling on his body definitely left him sore.
"A giant cat? Really, Loks?"
The god appears at the end of the couch, lifting Tony's legs to slide underneath him. "You were all getting far too serious. I gave you the cat as a gift."
Tony snorted. "Mission accomplished then. I don't think I've seen Thor so happy since that portal pulled a dragon through. And Clint is still telling everyone how he rode a giant cat today, despite the fact that everyone saw him. Pretty sure every newspaper will be running a story with him on that fucking cat."
"And you came up with new, inventive ways to use your suit," Loki says, giving him that grin that means trouble. Loki twists and spreads himself over Tony, his hands dragging up Tony's abdomen, easing the pressure left by sore muscles.
"I'm never going to be able to live that down, you know that, right?" Tony murmurs into the god's ear as he loops his hands around him.
"I am well aware," Loki responds, nipping at his ear.
"And since when do you care whether the team is getting too serious?" Tony says, trying to ignore him. He's angry at the god. Really, he is.
"Since I was bored."
"And it has nothing to do with the awful mood I've been in lately?"
"Of course not," Loki says, affronted. "But I am glad you recognize your unbecoming behavior."
"Babe, I'm always acting unbecoming,"
"If that is what you would like to think."
"Keep up the compliments and see what it gets you."
"It usually works well for me, love."
"…touché."