Thank you all for reading. While I make this story, I was also thinking of writing a story for Boyd and Collier. I have been on tumblr too long and when I watched the movie there were some scenes I legit thought they were going to kiss or something. I also think it would be an interesting story because of the time period and Boyd's closeness to his religion. I think it could be good. ANywho, let me know if I should write that one too. Enjoy
Hell Hath None 4 (wooh!) Circle the drain- Katy Perry
Jack felt herself relax when Collier returned her embrace. Her heart however, sped up slightly when she felt him leave a kiss on her head. She knew he meant nothing by it, it was a gesture of comfort, but her heart didn't seem to get the message. She let him go and the two climbed into the tank. She was shaking from the cold and was exhausted from the vomiting. He offered her a hand to help her up. She smiled and took it.
Once back in her tank, she had to shed her soaked, muddied coat. Luckily, Grady had tossed his to her. It was way too big for her but that was the point. Jack wrapped herself in it and settled in to get some sleep. The smell of cigarette smoke, tank grease and gasoline filled her nose and rid her of the memory of burning flesh that seemed to be engraved in her olfactory cells. She did not have nightmares again that night.
When they woke her the next day, they were an hour away from the battle. She got ready, got her gun ready and sat in silence, not joining in the usual banter. The four men noticed. She was usually a light, talkative person who would jump in with her two cents and witty remarks. Jack did not say a word but sat stony faced as she helped take out as many nazi soldiers as she could. She didn't flinch like she used to when a bullet hit the tank near her scope. When a grenade went off near them, she didn't jump, didn't even acknowledge what had happened. There was no betting with Gordo, no exchange of cigarettes after the battle, no words, no smile. She was cold and she was still. The Jack they have now is not like the Jack they used to have.
After the battle, when they exited the tank to make sure the Germans were dead or surrendering, she gripped her gun so tight her knuckles turned white. She stuck close to the men from her group only, and avoided the woods. Once the area was cleared, they all began to set up camp for the night. Boyd brought out some crates for seats like usual and heated up hot water for coffee. Jack sat on a crate and rested her face in her hands. She was exhausted and Boyd could see a weight on her shoulders.
"You doin' ok?" He asked conversationally. She hummed. "What's buggin' you?" He asked as he checked the water.
"Headache." She said simply. Boyd nodded.
"You should probably drink something. Get some food, too. Hopefully it'll stay down." He said as he grabbed a canteen of water and some crackers. If she could hold that down, they she would try to eat the other food. "Your nephew, Norman. He wrote to us while you were gone. Wrote to you too." Jack looked up at him.
"Do they know? Do they know I was gone?" She asked quietly, worry etching into her tired face. She leaned forward and rested her elbows on her legs.
"Army sent a letter saying you had been MIA. Basically means you're dead and they don't get a body to send home." Boyd said quietly. "Word has probably gotten back to a base where they can correct that. As far as we can tell, they didn't tell Norman." He finished and began making two cups of coffee. He handed one to Jack. "Drink this, too. Help warm you up. I'm gonna go get his letters from WArdaddy." He explained as he walked away. She nodded and sipped some warm coffee. She had finished the crackers and some water. She sat staring at the fire Boyd had lit. It was small but it was still enough to create an assault on her senses. Each crack and pop from the wet wood sent her reaching for her gun or jolting in surprise. The small amount of smoke it did create made her stomach churn dangerously. Soon her coffee went cold and she sat, just staring into the fire. Gordo and Grady had come to sit and make their food. They tried to greet her but let her be after they got no response. She was miles away. Boyd and Collier had arrived, too. She didn't see them, she didn't hear them. When Boyd waved the letters infront of her nose, she didn't blink. All she saw were the dead bodies of soldiers and civilians, burning. All Jack heard was the pained, agonizing screams of the women and children they murdered and tortured. She could feel her heart beat rapidly, almost painfully and Jack felt as if her airways had closed. She slowly raised a hand to touch her throat. She could feel the man's hands around her throat, choking her. She heard someone call her name through the screams. It sounded like a young boy. She heard it a second time in a man's voice.
"Jack!" collier called sharply, breaking her out of her trance and gaining her full attention. Her heart began to slow and she was able to breathe. "You back?" He asked. She nodded.
"Sorry. Must have zoned out." She explained. Her stomach lurched dangerously.
"You let the coffee go cold." Boyd said as he took the tin mug from her and set it on the grate over the fire to warm it up again. "You eat?" He asked.
"Yeah. It's staying down so far." She said, life creeping back into her voice. Grady and Gordo relaxed. Collier remained on guard. Boyd made sure his demeanor was relaxed. He was always the firm, relaxed one. Almost always quiet, listening. He was the sturdy one when Collier slipped up. Boyd gave her back her coffee and she began to drink it. She could feel her back and shoulders relax and the knot in her stomach left. Her stomach settled and she was fine. She began to join in the conversations and banter as the guys got their dinners out. Being with them, near them, eating and drinking was doing wonders for her. Jack's head still pounded but she was just glad to be back, having them near her and alive. She knew she hound not have listened to the German soldier but there was that small whisper of doubt that he wasn't lying.
A few of the guys popped open their cans of meat and set it over the fire to warm them up a bit. Jack was filled from the water and crackers, her stomach must have shrunk over the past two months. Soon after the cans of meat began warming up, the smell wafted over towards Jack. Her smile vanished instantly and she could feel the blood draining from her face. Jack felt her stomach lurch dangerously and she set her tin cup on the ground and dug her nails into her knees as her stomach continued to riot. She hung her head and tried to fight away the nausea. She closed her eyes and sucked in a deep breath before holding it. Boyd noticed her change in demeanor. He walked over from standing over the cooking meat to kneeling in front of her. Collier watched. Boyd tapped her arm. She looked up and slowly released her breath.
"You good?" He asked. She nodded slowly but the moment she inhaled slightly, the smell of coking meat wafted off him and assaulted her nose. Her stomach had reached its limit. She stood suddenly, knocking over the crate she was sitting on, and walked a few feet away from the group before bending over and vomiting again. The smell of meat reminded her too much of the smell of burning people. They guys let her be and took the meat off the fire. After she threw up the food and water she had eaten, she threw up bile and acid. Her throat burned and she hoped it would burn out the smell of the dead from her nose. Her back became sore from vomiting so much. People from other platoons walked by and looked curiously but knew better than to butt in.
Once she finished emptying her stomach, she straightened up and put her hands on her hips while trying to catch her breath.
"Hey, you done?" Collier called over to her. She nodded.
"Think so. Don't have anything left." She added. Grady whistled before commenting.
"Damn, girl. You're gonna turn yourself inside out if you do that anymore." He spoke loudly. Unfortunately, Jack knew exactly what the inner organs of a human looked like and the nausea came back full force. She swore and bent back over before dry heaving.
"Dammit, Grady." Bible mumbled. "Why you gotta go on and do that? Hu?"
"I didn't fucking know she'd puke again!" He defended. Collier stayed out of it and kept an eye on Jack.
"Fuck you, Coon-ass." Jack called quietly from her spot when she finished vomiting. She stayed bent over and hung her head. Her head throbbed and her throat and nose burned. Jack swayed slightly, a little dizzy. She had vomited so hard she popped blood vessels around her eyes and her throat was so raw that there was a little blood in the vomit. She stayed where she was for a few minutes before heading back to the group and sitting on the box. Boyd tried to offer her food (not meat) but she shook her head.
"I'm just gonna see if I can keep water down. I'll try to eat later." She said. Boyd nodded in understanding and Collier let her be. She needed to be able to keep down food or else she would get herself killed. She was weak enough as it was. She needed food.
"Here's the letters." Boyd said and handed her the two letters from her nephew. She read them and smiled. The group was glad to see her smiling again. They would get her back to semi-normal. Or as normal as they could.
For the next week, Jack was able to keep down water and food during the day. She was even able to stand the smell of meat. Once she got over the smell, she was able to eat it. Of course the smell would remind her of the burning humans. But her stomach no longer lurched at the smell. The only problems she had was at night. Every night, after everyone had fallen asleep, she would wake up form a nightmare, get away from the group, and vomit everything she had in her stomach.
She began looking worse and worse. She had bags under her eyes and struggled to stay awake during the day. She would get dizzy if she moved to fast and she had begun to lose more weight. It was alarming to Collier. He had promised to protect his group and keep them alive. But what could he do to save his driver who was literally wasting away in front of him?
On top of the less sleep and food and water in her system, the stress of the whole situation lowered her immune system and she caught a head cold. She felt like shit and didn't even have enough energy to argue or snip at her group. Collier confessed to Boyd on evening that he was concerned about her. He confessed in his own way. Boyd agreed. What Jack had been doing to get some food in her was eating as much as she could for breakfast, a small lunch and skipping dinner so she could digest more and vomit less at night. It was only effective enough to keep her alive. However, with the development of the head cold, mucus drained into her lungs and stomach. Her already limited appetite vanished completely and what she did eat, she threw up before sun down. She was miserable.
But when Collier learned that she had not been eating for a few days, he was livid. Fury had been at a base camp for three days to rest and fix the tank. On the third day, Collier approached Boyd, Grady and Gordo, Jack had gone off somewhere, probably to the mail carrier. The guys were packing up their food and provisions, putting them back in the tank. They had just finished up eating.
"Boyd, did you see Jack eat anything today?" He asked. Boyd thought for a second before shaking his head no, confused. Collier had noticed that food wasn't disappearing as if five people were eating. Only enough for four.
"Now that you mention it, I don't think I seen her eat since yet fucking got here, man." Gordo added quietly.
"Bitch starving herself?" Grady asked, not really understanding.
"Probably tired of throwing it up." Boyd suggested. "With this cold now, her body's fighting twice as hard with less energy. If she don't start keeping food down, she's gonna die." Boyd stated. "I don't even know how to get her to stop throwing up every night."
"Think someone in the medic tent would know something?" Grady asked. They all looked to him in slight surprise. How could they have all forgotten? They had a fucking medic tent now.
"Yeah, but is she gonna go willingly is the problem." Gordo stated. " She's just as stubborn as the rest of us, man."
"But none of us are on the brink of starving to death." Collier stated before sighing through his nose. "I'm gonno go find her, see if she's eaten yet before I take her to the medics. I don't care if I have to throw her over my goddamn shoulder." Collier said as he grabbed a few crackers before heading out to find jack.
Collier spent about ten minutes looking for her before bumping into her. She was on her way back from the mail carrier's tent with a few letters. Norman had written them again. She apologized for bumping into him and tried to head back to the tank. He stopped her. She looked at him confused.
"You and I are gonna go visit the medic tent." He said firmly, challenging Jack to argue. She accepted the challenge.
"I'm fine-" She started but Collier cut her off.
"Bull shit." He stated firmly. " You haven't eaten since we got here, you can't keep food down, you're cough has gotten so bad I'm surprised you haven't coughed up a fucking lung. You're fucking going." He stated firmly. She glared and trid to step around him. He grabbed her arm and her hand flung and struck him in the face. It was a reflex and he knew it from the look on her face. It flashed from anger to complete horror at her actions.
"Oh, shit. I'm sorry." she began to apologize. Collier clenched his jaw shut, trying to keep his patience.
"You're going to the medic tent." He ordered. Not wanting to piss him off and feeling guilty for back handing him, she nodded. She really didn't mean to and he knew that. Plus it's not like she had actually had the strength to hit him hard. As they began walking, collier pulled out a packet of crackers and handed it to her. She scowled.
"No." She refused. The two stop walking.
"Excuse me?" He challenged.
"I'll fucking go to the tent, but I'm not fucking eating anything. Fucking tired of throwing it up." She orderd and began to walk. Collier lost his patience and figured he would have to take more drastic measures. He grabbed Jack and tripped her, getting her on the ground. She landed with an oof in the mud and Collier knelt. He had one knee pressing down on her torso slightly, just to keep her here and one hand on her shoulder. She glared at him and struggled.
"Get the fuck off of me!" She growled. "The fuck do you think you're doing?" She hissed as she struggled. Collier smiled slightly, an idea coming to his head.
"If you can get me off you, prove you're not gonna fucking get taken out by a fight, I won't make you eat." He challenged. She struggled and tried to push him off. "Go ahead, give it our best damn shot."
"I'm fucking trying." She grumbled before coughing. Collier lifted his knee off her enough to let her breathe better. The coughing subsided and she let her arms fall onto the ground, one hand still gripping the letters tightly. She groaned and Collier smiled a bit before getting off her and helping her up. She glared at him but let him help her. She took a cracker and began slowly chewing it as they walked in silence to the tent. Halfway there, she got really dizzy and began to sway and stumble. Collier tried to steady her and ask her if she was ok. The moment his hand reached her shoulder, she fell to the ground. Jack passed out. He swore before picking her up. It was alarming how thin she had gotten. Luckily for him, the medic tent wasn't busy. It was one of those times where no injured were coming in. Everyone there was already tended to and the medics were winding down form the long day. One greeted him and helped get her to a cot. The medic, McMurphy, left and returned with ammonia to wake her up. It worked and she woke up coughing and gagging at the smell. She leaned over the cot and threw up for the hundredth time.
McMurphy asked what was going on, to see why they were there and Collier spoke, not trusting Jack to be honest. Jack leaned back and rested against the pillow on the cot, exhausted. It didn't take much to tire her these days. McMurphy grabbed her a few pills to help fight a fever, help with the mucus build up and a pill to help her sleep. He sat and had her drink water slowly. They sat there for half an hour and he monitored and controlled how much she drank and when she drank. McMurphy got her a blanket that was usually used for shock and mad sure she was wrapped up in it before she passed out from the sedative.
"I want to keep her here for at least two nights. If I see significant improvement she can return to duty. The longest I can keep her is a week before we have to ship her off to a more capable place to treat her." McMurphy explained. Collier nodded.
"If we have to move out before you let her go?" Collier asked. McMurphy sighed and hesitated before answering.
"You'll have to go without her. I'll make sure if you guys are shipped out, it won't be anywhere too far so you guys can get back before the week is up." McMurphy promised. "The sedative is strong enough to keep her asleep through the night. She shouldn't wake up. I'll keep her on that for a while until she can sleep on her own. The cold should subside tomorrow evening or a bit later. I'll make sure she eats. Don't worry, we got her." Mc Murpy assured. They weren't going to receive any injured for a while. If they did, it wasn't going to be swarming like it had been a few months ago. Collier nodded and headed back to his group. He had taken the letters for his men but left Jack's on the bed next to her to read when she woke up.
When collier returned, he told the guys what was going on and they were glad the Medics had stuff to help her. There was a very real possibility they had run out. Jack slept well that night. She didn't wake up, she didn't even have nightmares. It was the best sleep she had in months. When she woke up the next morning, she felt a little better. Her head still hurt and she wasn't hungry, but her fever was gone and her head didn't feel as congested. McMurphy gave her some water and more pills to help keep the fever away and help with the mucus. He didn't monitor the water she drank but made sure she ate a few crackers. She was able to keep it all down. She read Norman's letter that morning. He started off telling her that her mother had passed. She had a stroke that killed her. Her father was sad and not as energetic as he used to but was still able to take care of Norman and keep him happy. Jack admired her father. An injury from the farm in his young adult hood had crippled his leg bad enough to keep him from warm but her father was one of the strongest men she knew. He was able to push past his sorrows and keep going. He always has been. From what Jack could tell from the letter, he was still able to smile and have some fun with Norman, but Jack couldn't even begin to imagine losing the person you love like that. She was sad when she learned her mother passed and a few tears rolled down her cheeks. Even though she didn't get along with the woman, she still loved and respected her. Jack wished she had fixed their relationship before she left, but had to shove that down. There was nothing she could do know.
Collier came by around then and saw tears falling down her face. He walked over and sat on the cot next to her.
"What happened?" He asked quietly. She sniffled and breathed through her mouth before wiping them away.
"Mother died. Had a stroke." Jack said quietly while flipping the paper over. Her father had written on the back. "Sorry about yesterday." She stated, not meeting his eyes. There was a pause before she turned to glare at the chuckling man next to her.
"Don't worry about it. You're so weak right now you couldn't do much damage." He said referring to the hit. She glared at him. McMurphy came over with a mug of broth and some water.
"Here. See if you can keep this down." He said and handed it to her. She thanked him. "How you feeling? Any better?" She nodded.
"Yeah. Haven't slept that good in months." She said as she sipped the broth. McMurphy smiled, asked a few more questions and left. Collier let her drink some of the broth before getting to why he was there in the first place.
"What happened to you when you were taken?" He asked firmly and bluntly. The question took Jack off guard and caused her to choke on her soup a bit before looking at him with an almost outraged expression. He held her gaze with his own firm, unwavering look. She knew he wanted answers and he wanted all of them. She sighed and let the soup rest in her lap. She had to tell someone eventually.
"After they shot the two men I was on guard with, they half dragged me through the woods for who knows how long. After a while they knocked me out. I don't know why. When I woke up, I was bound and in the mud at one of their camps. I have no clue where. They would try to ask me things in German. I didn't understand them so they kicked me a lot. Fucking hurt. Two days of that and they got a young kid who spoke English to talk to me. He's one of those kid's who shouldn't be in a war in the first place you know?" She asked looking at Don who nodded. "He was nice. Didn't even want to be there. They took his sister to force him or something. From what I understand, they moment they got him in their army, they gunned her down. He didn't find out until about a week before I got there."
"What does this have to do with you?" Collier asked firmly, trying to get her back on the topic he wanted to know about. What happened to the kid was sad yes, but that didn't matter to him. She sighed.
"He asked me what they wanted to know. They wanted to know where our bases were. How many tanks and men we had. Things like that. He told me that if I do know, to not tell them. The longer I keep it to myself, the longer they would keep me alive. If I didn't know or I did and I told? They would have shot me once I gave up all the information." She explained. Collier nodded, understanding. She moved on. "So, a little after that, we had to move. They shot most of the prisoners and burned the bodies. I had given my hat to a little boy they had kept there with the prisoners. That's how my hat got in that pile. As we were leaving I could smell them burning. It was horrifying to see. As bad as it was, the concentration camp was worse." She paused here, closing her eyes against the memory. Her stomach began to churn a bit, but she drank some water to try and calm it.
"We thought what we saw on the battlefield was horrifying. We were so wrong. What they do in those camps.." She trailed off and looked down, frowning deeply. "Hell has to be more human than those camps." She whispered and shook her head. "We stayed there for a few days before moving on. The smell of burning bodies was so thick. There was always smoke coming up from the furnaces and the people walking around looked like skeletons. There were literal skeletons. That place was like living in a nightmare you don't wake up from." She paused and drank some of her soup before it got cold. Her stomach settled.
"What happened after you left there?" Collier asked. She shrugged.
"I don't remember much very well. They would practically drag me from place to place until they just knock me out. When there, every time I tried to sleep, they dumped cold water on me. I didn't even know how long I had been gone until I got back." She chuckled without humor which melded into a violent cough. Collier sat and waited for her to finish coughing.
"How did you get out?" He asked. Collier saw her pale quickly and her eyes widened. She could hear the gunshot, the yelling, she saw the blood spray everywhere. She felt it on her face again, the warm sticky, blood. Her grip tightened on her mug and Collier sat and waited for her to come back.
"It doesn't matter." She whispered and offered a shaky smile before she shakily brought the mug up to drink. Collier frowned.
"It does. What happened?" He asked firmly. She sighed and could feel her lungs rattling.
"They gave up, figured I wouldn't be any use." She paused. "Remember the kid I told you about?" Collier nodded and she continued. "They wanted him to take me out back and shoot me in the head that night. When the time came, he took me out back, had me turn away from him. We must have stood there for a good ten minutes before I turn around. He's crying. The kid's crying." She said and shook her head with a small smile. "He was a good kid, didn't deserve to be there. He, um, he helped me out a bit. He made sure the guards stayed away from me. He snuck me food. He shouldn't have been there." She sighed and sipped her soup, not wanting it to get cold. She brought the blankets around her and shivered. "God, I could kill for a cigarette." She muttered. Collier smiled his tiny smile at that.
"Finish your story and your soup and I'll have someone bring you one later." He promised. Jack smiled at him.
"You really want to know what happened, hu?" She asked with a smile. He nodded and her smile faltered just a bit before continuing. "He confessed he couldn't kill, me. He wouldn't kill me. This was where he told me about his sister and how even got there in the first place. He told me to start running. I wasn't going to stick around and ask why. I had just made it to the tree line when I heard a gunshot. I looked back and the kid shot himself. He couldn't handle it. I only ran into trouble once and it was right after I had gotten into the woods. It was a soldier on guard. My hands were behind my back so I couldn't do much when He grabbed my arms. I um, I…" She trailed off before laughing. Collier looked at her like she had lost her mind. "Maybe Gordo was right." She laughed. "I must be something out of hell 'cause I ripped out his throat." She cackled quietly. "I ripped it out with my teeth." She laughed quietly. "I literally bit his throat and yanked my head back. He bled out all over me. That was the blood on my face." Her laughter had died out and she rubbed furiously at her eyes, trying to get the tears away. "That kid. He killed himself to help me. " She explained quietly. "Don't even know his name. God, this war is shit. They're using kids to fight. He couldn't have been more than seventeen." She said quietly. Collier sat quietly, trying to find the right thing to say. They sat in silence and she sipped more of her soup, trying to calm down. Her nose started to bleed and he moved to sit on her bed bulled out a small rag, handing it to her. He rested a hand on her shin and she looked at him.
"He made his choice. If he went back without your body, they would have thrown him right into one of those camps. He knew what he was doing. He saved your life. Are you going to repay him by letting yourself starve to death?" He asked firmly. She looked at him and shook her head. "Then get better." He ordered and she smiled and nodded. She would get better as fast as she could. He nodded and stood, grabbing his gun from the other bed. HE made to leave but turned to her again.
"Tell Gordo how you took out that Nazi. Think it'll scare the shit out of him." He said with a smile and Jack laughed. She laughed like she had before she was taken. Collier realized how much he missed her laugh, her smile, her voice. He smiled before leaving. Jack shook her head and finished her soup. She wrote back to Norman and her father. She would have someone ship it out for her later.
Jack felt significantly better towards the evening. She still had a slight cough but her head felt so much better and she had been able to keep everything down. It was a good thing she had begun to feel better because the guys decided to join her for dinner. Grady and Gordo took the cot next to her and Boyd sat near her feet. Collier stopped by before having to go talk to some higher ups. When she told them the story about how she ripped out the soldier's throat, Gordo actually looked like he was going to puke or piss himself. Even Grady looked a little taken aback. Boyd didn't seem too surprised and he and Jack laughed at the other two's discomfort.
"I know what you're fucking war name is." Gordo announced. Jack looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "You won't fucking die. We're calling you Ghost. No way you're fucking human, man." He stated. Boyd nearly spit out his coffee while laughing and Jack smirked. She was quite proud of herself for earning that name. When collier heard her new name he shook his head and chuckled. IT was too true. No matter what was thrown at her, she wouldn't die. She wouldn't stay down. It was something to admire her for.