Short chapter full of mystery, that I am really, really satisfied with! I'm sorry about the last two chapters, I'm still not feeling them, but at least they lead to this (in my opinion) great chapter. So, Kurt Sutter owns everything SOA, and I own my own original characters. Enjoy! Happy father's day!

She never thought something like this could make her so upset. Maybe she'd just been fooling herself for the past almost six years, and she was still in love with him. Martin. She couldn't even see the road, and this dress she had been convinced to wear seemed... Wildly inappropriate and out of character. She hadn't even worn a dress on her wedding day.

Seven hours ago, Everett had let Rain convince her to put on a mini-dress and ride bitch with him to Saint-Tropez, home of good nightclubs and two hours away from home, he had brought her to a fancy restaurant, then to dance. Dancing was something she liked, to an extent. But no one knew them or their stories. She loved that about Rain. He didn't mind to almost never see her in Marseilles anymore, just at the club. If he wanted to take her out, he found places they could go out anonymously.

And at this club, she was pretty much having the time of her life, being nearly twenty-six years old; Randy was a surprisingly good dancer. She felt like a whole other person, smiling and laughing and being so openly flirty. And "Randy-that's-not-wearing-a-kutte-and-doesn't-have-to-think-about-the-club-first" was pretty delightful to be having around. Whole other person, too.

Then around ten thirty, her phone had rang. She had made clear to the boys at the club that she was going to see a girlfriend and should not be bothered under any circumstances, she had made Jack swear up and down that he would not let Lawrence call her anyways. She had made her father swear that no one would call from the Lowman clan either. She wanted this weekend for herself, she had literally spent thirty-nine days with the club for business. Now she wanted two days on her own.

Rain had a sexy growl. "Don't answer it", it had been enough to convince her, they would probably take a hotel tonight, and have a good time.

But then she went to the bathroom, and had checked the voice messages that had been left for her on her voicemail. She had missed two calls, she'd only felt her phone ring once.

"Stars, it's Lawrence. Hôpital of La Conception in the fifth just called looking for you, they wouldn't leave me any information. They just left a number and said it was an emergency. I just checked on your family, your parents and siblings are all well, so I don't know what it's about. Call them back, the number is..."

She pressed eight, to listen to the next message, she had a bad feeling about this.

"The message is for Everett Lowman-Depardieu, this is nurse Céleste Pruneau from Hôpital de la Conception. Your husband Martin Depardieu was just admitted in intensive care, and you are listed in his file as his emergency contact. If you could contact us as soon as possible, or come in person, so that..."

She snapped the phone shut, tried taking a few deep breaths, to calm herself down, but it wasn't working, Nothing could happen to Martin, it was impossible.

Breathing, not working, she bounced off the closed toilet seat so quickly that she almost ran into the closed stall door, she swung it open, there were three girls at the sink, they all turned around as Everett kicked these stupid heels off and almost ran out of the bathroom. Rain was waiting at the bar, it was the first time she didn't care to linger on his sexiness.

-Hey, babe, wh...

-You need to drive me back home, right now.

-What's the...

-NOW, Randy!

He had, even if she had no shoes, no jacket, nothing, he just drove back to Marseilles, and dropped her off in front of the hospital, she didn't even look at him, she bounced off the seat and rushed inside, got lost twice before finding the ICU, she never came to this hospital before, she went to Private Beauregard, across the city. She spoke to a million different people before finding the right place. She almost crashed into the nurse's station, bellowing her husband's name. The nurse looked, before asking her to take a seat, she had to tell Everett three times before Everett complied.

Then a doctor came over, big, old serious dude, who offered his condolences. Martin had died about an hour before, as a result of his injuries. He fell into one of the big machines at his job, showed up at the hospital in an ambulance pretty banged up, and they couldn't save him. His injuries were far too extensive and he hadn't been responsive at all, blood loss and whatnot. And all Everett could say was "no, no, he's not dead. He can't be. I'm counting on him. Because I can't do it. He can't be dead."

And the doctor kept on telling her that yes, he was dead, and did he have parents that she should contact? No. His sister was dead for twenty-five years, he didn't speak to his mother because "it was her fault" and he had a very strained relationship with his father. She just sat there crying. For hours.

No. No, she wasn't still in love with Martin. She'd always loved him, yeah, sure, maybe as a friend if he hadn't been so stuck on her coming back and making shit work, but she'd always been just too much of a free spirit. Plus, that life came with responsibilities she had never wanted.

Shit. Martin was dead. Martin that could not die. Martin that she had pushed away to keep intact. Even if he came around about twice a year to try and beg her to come back.

Day was breaking when Joker and Rain found her still crying in a waiting room halfway between the intensive care and oncology units. After almost eight months since their moment on the roof of her apartment building, Rain had learned not to touch her when she was having her moods. So he just sat near her and waited. Joker on the other end wasn't her boyfriend or lover or anything, he just grabbed her, ans asked her what was wrong. She looked at the two of them in turns, the most important men in her life after her father. She had to get some shit off her chest.

-I have a secret I need to tell someone.

-You wanna tell us?

-Not really. But there's no one I trust more. Except dad.

-What is it, bug?

Usually, she would have winced at Rain for the nickname that she did not really affectionate, but this morning, she wipes her nose, her cheeks before sitting straight.

-I always told everyone that I married Martin to piss dad off. That wasn't true.

-Why did you, then?

-I married Martin, because...

Rain had been quiet since he had called her Bug. He seemed to be dissecting the pretty vital piece of information Everett had just shared for the first time in six years, his face was blank. Joker was rubbing his forehead, he was best placed to understand her nightmare.

-Did he...?

-No.

-You?

-Never, no way.

-So who?

-I'll have to call Jocelyne, his mother. I'm not. I can't. You see me doing it?

-Hell no.

They were silent for a moment, Randy took a deep breath, before putting a hand on Everett's knee, it made her look his way.

-Us doing it wouldn't be in the card, hm?

-Never, Randy. It would mean coming clean, and I just... Can't. Ever. It was supposed to be a secret I took to my grave. Now the mother-fucker died.

-How can I help, then, Bug?

-By never bringing the subject up, again.

She could feel herself tearing up again, she had no clue how to deal with all of this. Martin surely was so much better at it than she could ever hope to be. Martin was near perfect. At least in her eyes. Still. Rain had a serious nod, he would never bring it up again, and she knew it. Joker offered his help, in any ways it could be required, but she declined. That was some shit she needed to deal with on her own. She knew the white-lies Martin had told his family, or what was left of it in Paris, and sending Joker would just destroy the illusions they had. She had to call Jocelyne herself.

-Where are you going to bury Martin?

-I hum...

She has to dig up old memories, to remember if they ever discussed this particular scenario where she would bury him, but she didn't recall that they ever did. She ends up shaking her head.

-Probably with Lili, his sister. I'd have to talk to Jocelyne about it. Could Juicy find her phone number, without being nosy about it?

-Yeah. I'll call you in an hour.

-Thanks, Phil.

Joker nods and leaves, she remains there, sitting near Randy that looks very much like he would want to fight what's been decided, fight to get involved, but won't, because she asked him not to. Because getting involved against her will would mean losing her, and possibly get shot in the head for making sure the secret died with him.

Getting it off her chest did not make her feel any better. It just made her want to curl up in a corner and cry herself to death. Stupid twenty-years old Everett. Twenty-five, almost twenty-six years old Everett wished she could murder twenty-years old Everett for her stupid, very, very stupid life choices.

What do you guys think the secret is? Give it a good thought and leave me a review with your theories! It will be revealed in the epilogue chapter that will be posted in mid-august!