CHAPTER 2

The Terrible Toasts

The girls were up at six o'clock in the morning, getting ready for the "big day." Aurelia was thankful that there weren't any more bridesmaids, because they would never have gotten ready in time. Despite her supposed insecurities, Emily was the one who had brought an entire vanity, complete with mirror, in order to do her makeup and hair. It was actually a little comical. That left Frieda the downstairs restroom and Lily, of course, had the upstairs master suite, which left Aurelia with… the small circular mirror in the upstairs hallway.

She didn't mind. She wasn't entirely fond of makeup, so she just applied some eyeliner and a little bit of eyeshadow. The mirror was so small that it was difficult to see her whole face, but she made do. Suddenly, Lily called her name in a panic-stricken voice and she dropped her eyeshadow onto the floor and rushed into the master suite. Lily sat there in front of the vanity with a peculiar look on her face.

"Help me, Lia," she said, staring at Aurelia in the mirror. "I'm repulsive."

Aurelia laughed lightheartedly. "You are most certainly not repulsive," she said, smiling a little. It took the better part of an hour to apply Lily's makeup, because apparently there was an unwritten but well-enforced rule where the bride had to look like an angel.

Lily had been looking at herself in the mirror for a while, but when she finally turned around after approving of her appearance, only then did her best friend realize Aurelia was crying.

Immediately, Lily brought her into a fierce hug and cradled her head with her hand. "What's wrong?"

Aurelia sniffed softly. "I just… I wish I had what you and James have."

Lily stroked her friend's hair, running her hands through the curlicues in her tresses.

"Do you want to hear my honest opinion or do you want to hear a lie?"

"Be honest," said Aurelia, picking her head up and looking directly at Lily.

Lily sighed heavily. "You are so bright and so beautiful, but you don't see it, do you? You love him."

Aurelia stiffened, and she shook her head. "I was being flippant… lie to me."

Lily smiled a sweet, sad smile. "You'll never see it, will you?"

She almost felt claustrophobic; the air around her was getting dense. "Lily, this is your day. You go be happy. Let the dawdling fools such as myself be."

It wasn't that she would never see. Lily and the guys thought that she was just being stubborn. It was more than that. Sirius had been such an amazing boyfriend when they had dated in sixth and seventh year at Hogwarts. But when they had broken up, she had lost her friends to the egotistical ex and his parade of bimbo rebounds. The reconnection with James, Remus and Peter had come slowly, but Sirius had never even attempted to reconcile. So, Lily didn't see the mess she made when she asked those pointed questions and made those goodhearted but naïve remarks. Sirius didn't want to have anything to do with her, and that was fine. He had made it pretty clear that his love for her had been fleeting when he snogged Marlene McKinnon the day after their breakup, and Mary Macdonald the day after. He had a thing for 'M' names, she mused bitterly.

Despite that, she was trying to give Sirius an olive branch, to say, 'Look, we've had our ups and downs, but let's stop being total prats about the situation and just get over it.' But no… Sirius had to be Sirius, which meant being a total prat, and her olive branch was effectively snapped in half. She was finished trying to play the nice guy; she was ready to play his game, if that's what he wanted. He wasn't going to like the results.

Without another word, she ushered the bride and her maids from their vanities to gather all their things and they were out the door in ten minutes.

Sirius wasn't fond of this whole rushing around thing. He liked to take his time while getting ready, but they didn't have time because they had overslept because Sirius was a stupid git and made James drink too much Firewhiskey last night. At least, that's what James had said. Sirius knew that the alcohol was helping to calm his nerves. The hangover… not so much.

"Where is my tie?" James asked, his voice unsteady and a little raspy. Oh, Lily was going to kill him for letting her soon-to-be-husband drink that much last night of all nights.

Sirius grabbed the tie off the back of the armchair and flung it at James. In return, James tossed a pair of shoes at Sirius, which caught him in the gut. He made a grunting sound and then picked the shoes up off the floor and starting lacing them.

The doorbell rang and James panicked. Sirius tried to calm him down by telling him it was probably just Remus and Peter, but James leapt over the loveseat and starting fiddling with his cufflinks.

Sirius ran to the door and when he opened it, he swept back his jostled hair and said, "You're here! Great, we—"

"—Aren't finished getting ready?" Remus said, disbelievingly. Well, it was pretty late. Sirius looked at the clock on the wall above the mantle of the fireplace. Shit!

"Don't be angry, Remus."

He let them into the house and when Remus saw the state of James, he started bellowing. Sirius wasn't quite sure what he'd said, but he remembered a 'SHE WILL MURDER YOU' and a 'HOW MANY DRINKS DID YOU HAVE?' Calming Remus down took a lot less time than it took to calm James down who was in a right state from the being late and the being yelled at. Peter was, surprisingly, the calmest one out of the bunch. He had sat down in the armchair at the edge of the fireplace and watched the ordeal play out, laughing a couple of times into the sleeve of his suit and pretending it was a coughing fit.

"Alright, so now that that's settled, we will leave as soon as James has found his shoes."

They searched the upstairs bedrooms, the main living room, the second living room and the library before they finally found them in the restroom on the second floor. They were all prepared to leave when Peter piped up.

"Sirius, aren't you going with any protective gear?"

"What are you on about, Worm?" he said distractedly as they were walking out the door.

"Well, Lia might have another fit and she's wearing heals today."

Sirius grabbed Peter's neck in a headlock, but as soon as he did so, Peter Apparated the both of them to the manor house. Suddenly, Sirius felt sick again and as soon as they landed onto solid ground, he fell forward onto his knees and retched.

When he looked up, he saw a livid looking James and Remus, Peter laughing hysterically and Aurelia, looking as though she would really rather not have come out looking for them.

"Lily is worried sick," said Aurelia, the faintest hint of a smirk on her lips. "Not this sick, but still…"

"Laugh it up," Sirius mumbled, grabbing a handkerchief from his pocket and wiping his mouth. When he looked up again, Aurelia was offering him breath mints. "Do you just have these stuffed in your—"

"Do you want them or not?" She held them out and he took four from her palm and tossed them in his mouth. "I take it James has the same… problem… as this one."

Remus nodded confirmation. "I already yelled at them—James feels bad enough as it is. Obviously, Sirius does, too. Don't tell Lily."

Sirius finally got up off his knees and used Peter in order to stand up straight. He watched as Aurelia nodded once and then walked back into the manor without another word. Well, one mumbled word: "Gits."

Aurelia walked back to the manor and went to the back room on the left where Lily was undoubtedly having a fit. She opened the door, and Emily rushed to her side.

"Where's James?"

"They're here," she said to everyone in the room.

Lily smiled an exhausted smile and patted the front of her dress. "Good. Good…"

Aurelia could sense something was still wrong, but she dare not bring up what she thought it was until the other girls had vacated the room, so she asked for five minutes alone with Lily and they graciously stepped out.

"What is it, love? How can I help?"

Lily looked away, putting one hand against the mirror on the wall. "Am I a good person, Lia?"

Aurelia looked at her for a moment before sighing loudly. "This is not the time for an existential crisis, Lil! You're going to be married in less than half an hour. What is this about, really?"

"Is James a good person?"

Oh, Merlin. She was having second thoughts. Being the maid of honor really was not a picnic.

There were two ways she could explain this to Lily. The first was that it didn't matter if he or she were good people, as long as they loved each other, they have the right and the ability to get married. Somehow, she thought, that approach wouldn't work for Lily. She would immediately assume that Aurelia sidestepping the issue was grounds for dismissing his good qualities. The second method was… well, it was personal, but it had to work, because she didn't have any other ideas.

"Lily," she said softly, "James is a lot of things: egotistical, eccentric, arrogant, careless, mischievous. But those things don't automatically make him a bad person. You have to see through those qualities to the other side, where his kindness, thoughtfulness and loving nature reside.

"I… honestly, I never wanted to tell you this, but when Sirius and I broke up, I went to see James. I asked him if he and I, and Remus and Peter, could still be friends after what had happened. Despite the fact that he said it probably wouldn't work out, he gave me a hug and told me that he wished there was another way. He is an amazing man, but he's also a total git. You have to take the good with the bad, Lily. You can't expect a person to be all good or all bad. Perfect people don't exist in this world. We have to make do with the ordinary people we have."

Lily was on the edge of tears, and Aurelia quickly gathered some tissues to wipe them off before her makeup was smeared.

"You have a way with words, Lia."

"Yeah, well, now that I've spoiled my speech, I'm going to have to write another one. Thanks for that."

Lily let a laugh escape her. "Alright," she said, confident and composed. "I'm ready."

A black-haired twenty-year-old stepped out of the back room and closed the door softly behind him. He placed his hands on his front to smooth out his perfectly fitted black tux, stepping down the stairs, every step seemly confident, but the slight shake in his hands betrayed him.

"Are you sure you're ready for this, James?" Sirius asked quietly out of the side of his mouth.

Was he actually asking his best friend to second guess his marriage? What an idiotic git. Sirius knew James shouldn't have picked him to be the best man.

"Merlin, I hope so," he heard James mutter almost inaudibly.

Sirius smirked inwardly as a soft melody began to play from the east wing.

"That's our que," he said, starting to walk slowly down the corridor to the main hall. James followed him, as did Remus and Peter. When they came to the hall, they lined up in order on the steps to the makeshift altar. The archway where James and Lily would soon stand was decorated with—who would've thought—yellow lilies and deep red roses. House colors, Sirius mused, which made him grin because he realized Prongs had had a say in the flower arrangements. He needed to remember to take the mickey out of him for that later.

Remus, Peter and Sirius had to leave James alone on the dais while they went to escort the bridesmaids down the aisle. As soon as Sirius paired up with Aurelia, he could feel the tension in her arm and the look on her face said, 'Don't screw this up.' He had no intention of screwing anything up. He looked behind him and flashed Lily a brilliant smile, but she gave him the same look as Lia. His confidence in himself plummeted. Edwin, Lily's father, patted him on the shoulder and said, "Play nice, Sirius."

Aurelia and Sirius walked down the aisle to some sappy instrumental song. She had her fingers crossed, hoping that that simple gesture would somehow cause Sirius to not act like a complete wanker as he had last night. He hadn't said a word while they walked, just glanced down at her once wearing a shit-eating grin. She wouldn't put it past him to trip her on the dais.

But… nothing happened. He was a gentleman and escorted her to her place and went to stand at his. She smiled. Perhaps he wasn't so immature after all.

Mr. Evans started taking Lily up the aisle when the correct music began playing, and she looked gorgeous. Aurelia glanced over at James, who was staring wide-eyed at his future wife. When they got to the dais, Edwin kissed Lily's hand and then placed her hand in James'. As he walked off, Aurelia could hear Pamela crying softly in one of the first row of seats.

James and Lily stepped up the dais, and the officiant began his spiel.

When they got to the vows, Aurelia stepped close to Lily and took her bouquet from her so that they could hold hands.

Lily cleared her throat quietly and began. "James Potter… I vow to never allow your bad habits to overshadow your good qualities in my mind, to never take your kind heart and your loving words for granted, to always show you how much you mean to me instead of simply saying it, and to love you for as long as I live."

James looked a little intimidated, but regardless he began. "Lily Evans… Lily Evans… I would say your name over and over again in my head, hoping that that very act would get me on a date with this beautiful girl. All my friends said I was crazy, obsessed. But I knew you were the one… my soulmate. Sorry, Seer." Everyone in the main hall chuckled, even Sirius. "I knew when I was a kid that I wanted to be here, on these steps, in front of all these people, marrying you, because you are, simply stated, the most wonderful person in this world. I wanted to be a part of that… I want to share that wonder with you."

Aurelia couldn't see the tears falling from Lily's face, but she saw James wipe his thumb across her cheek. It was a rush of colors after that—saying "I do," the big kiss, walking back down the aisle (and let it be known that the three attendants on the Evans' side of the hall most certainly did not see the maid of honor elbow the best man in the ribs on their way outside—but if she had, he would have deserved it). A brilliant shower of yellow and red sparks from an excess of wands lit the hall as Lily and James departed, cascading beautifully down to the floor like weeping willow branches.

When Aurelia and Sirius were outside, she withdrew her arm from his and they stepped away, but for whatever reason, Sirius was smirking again. She could not figure him out.

The reception was in the same manor house that they had been married in, only an hour after the wedding. No one really knew what to do with themselves for that hour, except James and Lily, who decided to take a ride around the park in front of the house in a carriage and snog their brains out.

When the hour was up, they all went back into the main hall and the tables and chairs had been set up to create the atmosphere of an ordinary reception. No fancy frills, no flowers. It was nice to be at a wedding and not have to look at gaudy accessories that were only there to look expensive and showy.

Sirius went to sit in his seat between James and Remus. He sat down and a server came directly to fill his wine glass. He liked this place, he thought absently.

Glancing down at the other end of the table, he spotted Aurelia and caught her eye. She looked bored. Perhaps a little entertainment might liven up her evening, as well as his. He grabbed his knife and tapped his water goblet with it, making a tink, tink sound. James looked over at him, curious.

"It's a Muggle tradition," said Sirius.

When he didn't elaborate, James looked over at Lily. She looked panicked. "Sirius, how do you know about that?"

Sirius just smiled slowly. "I took Muggle Studies, remember?"

Aurelia looked confused, too. Oh, he was loving this.

"Lil, what is it?"

Suddenly, Lily took James' face into her hands and kissed him. It lasted only a second. When Lily pulled away, she said, "If anyone taps their silver wear to their glass, we have to kiss."

James smiled. "That's not a bad tradition," he said happily.

"Except when Sirius is involved," Aurelia muttered.

James looked over at his best friend. Sirius grinned wickedly.

After the thirteenth time during their meal where they had to stop and kiss each other, Aurelia imagined they were beginning to resent the very act.

The last time Sirius was about to tap his glass, Aurelia sent a spell over to Sirius' water goblet, which exploded in a contained bubble and then fell onto the floor. He looked over at her and the entire head table followed his gaze. She smiled pleasantly and casually finished the last bite of her chicken.

It was time for speeches to be made, and Sirius was to go first. He was, however, still sulking over his shattered water goblet, and his tone reflected his attitude. She watched as he grabbed his wand and touched it to his throat, adding a Sonorous spell so that everyone in the hall could hear him.

"Hello, everyone." The attendants all mumbled unintelligibly. "I'm Sirius, best man. I've had a lot of time to think about this speech, about what James and Lily's marriage means to me. Well, for one, I'll be seeing a lot less of him, if you know what I mean." Some people didn't know what he meant, but the ones who did looked shocked. Aurelia guffawed softly. James and Lily's cheeks were reddening.

"Secondly, James has wanted this to happen since, what? Third year? I can never remember him wanting anything more than to be with this woman right here." He pointed his index finger at Lily, who smiled shyly. "See, all my relationships have been sodding brilliant," he said cynically.

Aurelia looked up, her eyes flashing a violent shade of blue, a warning. Sirius had looked down at her at this point, but made no expression to indicate that he had noticed.

"I've had relationships that were painful, difficult, ones that sucked the life right out of you—but that was just one relationship, actually."

Aurelia's fists clenched so hard she was certain that blood would be dripping down her hand any moment. Lily put her hand on Aurelia's arm to calm her, but she was beyond that point now.

"I never realized it could be easy. You two have showed me something: the hard stuff is hard for a reason. If you want it badly enough and it's right, things will fall into place. The rest is just… not likely to last."

Uncertain if that speech had been worthy of applause, the attendants clapped slowly and quietly until Sirius sat down. His gaze was fixed on the opposite wall as Aurelia stood and used the Sonorous charm on herself.

"Thank you, Sirius," she said, the sarcasm already leaking into her tone, "for that wonderful speech about the utter reverse of what marriage is." She could already hear the small gasps from the attendants, but she trailed on. "Marriage is not something that comes easily. Lily and James were one of the lucky pairs who make everyone else envious. It's not a manner of letting things fall into place. Relationships are work, hard work. You have to work at them every day, and allow them to flourish. It's fine to say you'll spend the rest of your lives together, that's easy. But what you should say instead is, 'I want to enjoy the rest of my life with you.' Not some hogwash bullshit about fate or love at first sight or ignoring the hard stuff because it's difficult. You have to own it. You have to really mean it when you say, 'I love you,' because if you don't… nothing can stop the relationship from crumbling, and the only way you're going to get back on your feet is to make yourself believe that maybe you'll meet someone else someday, and that person will be kind and thoughtful instead of a two-faced prick who uses people and discards them like Chocolate Frog Cards… "

Aurelia sat down, crossing her arms over her chest.

No one clapped this time. And after a minute of the quiet, Peter must not have been able to stand it anymore. He tapped his glass with his spoon. The tink, tink echoed through the room in a ghostly silence. Lily and James didn't kiss.