When Emma was dropped off at her house, (after the driver getting lost about every two seconds in the Residential Maze of Crappy Roads) she hesitated at the gate. What would her mom say? She could see it now: the sad irony of the sweet mother who got pregnant at thirty years old with a nameless, ageless man in a one night stand, and the daughter who got kicked out of a weekend leadership camp for an alleged "sexual assault" that really never happened in the first place.
And, to add to the mix, there was Regina Mills. The girl who, quite possibly, would ruin or rule Emma's life for the rest of time.
Well, shit.
Walking up to her faded, white door attached to her faded, white house, Emma thought about her faded, white existence and realized how incredibly pathetic that sounded. She had to do something! Write a bestselling novel! (Impossible.) Dive off a plane without a parachute! (Suicide.) Kill a guy! (Jail.) Date someone! (Ha!) Call Regina!
(Yeah... no.)
Emma turned the knob, walked inside, tried not to think about the heavy slip of numbered paper in her pocket, and looked up at what she hoped to be a calm mother.
Unfortunately, calm mothers were only for daughters who weren't Emma Swan. Daughters who were Emma Swan had better be damn well prepared for the slew of well-practiced, oddly true words pelting them in the face at a thousand miles an hour.
"Kicked out? Kicked out?!" Mary-Margaret began, her face already beginning to turn a frightening shade of red, "I can't believe you, Emma! I was sitting here at home, grading God-awful essays and hoping you were having a better time than I was, and I get a call from that camp, saying you were being sent home for some kind of misconduct! What was it, Emma? What did you do? Did you do it on purpose to get out of there? You were there for a day! A day! It couldn't have possibly been that bad! Who found out? Did you hurt someone? I swear, Emma, if you beat someone up, I'm going to have to seriously ground you. Of course, you're already grounded if you can't come up with some suitable reason for pissing someone off enough to get you sent home! What were you thinking? Were you mad because of what happened with me? That was not the place to let out your anger, and you know it! You could have waited and confronted me face-to-face like a normal human being first! I'm sorry, okay? I already said that! Just tell me why, Emma. Why did you get sent home? What did you do?"
"I..." Emma decided she should just tell the truth, for once, "Someone reported me for sexual assault."
Mary-Margaret was stunned into silence, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"There was this... um... girl, and she claimed that I kissed her without permission." Emma explained.
Now Emma's mom was shocked for another reason. "...Girl?" she repeated quietly.
"Yeah." Emma said.
"You... kissed a girl?" Mary-Margaret asked.
"No! I didn't! None of it ever happened, mom. She just wanted me out of the camp, that's all. Her dad can get her anything she wants." Emma hurriedly denied.
"Are you being honest?" Mary-Margaret asked.
"Yes, mom! That's the truth! Nothing happened. Nothing at all." Emma said, kind of disappointed.
"Well," Mary-Margaret shook her head, "You're grounded from your video games for two weeks, okay?"
"Okay." Emma said, confused that the punishment wasn't something more.
"Just... go upstairs and..." Mary-Margaret turned around and headed toward her room.
Emma stood there, rooted to the spot. What the hell just happened?
She shrugged it off and headed to her own room, dragging her luggage behind her.
Once she was sitting on her bed, she remembered the paper in her pocket. She pulled it out and went over it again:
Call me.
But why?
Emma went to throw the number in the trash, then stopped. Throw it away, Emma! She means nothing to you! Why aren't you ripping it up and shoving it to the bottom of the trashcan?
With a sudden resolve, she held the piece of paper, punched the number into her phone, and let it ring.
And ring.
And ring.
And finally, Regina's voice echoed in her ear: Hi! You've reached Regina Mills. Unfortunately, I couldn't answer your call, but I can certainly hear your message! Just leave one after this funny little beep and I'll get back to you as soon as my schedule allows! Thanks!
Emma scoffed and waited for the "funny little beep", then said, "Hey, it's... it's Emma Swan, and I was just calling to... well, to see if the number worked? I guess? So... you're probably listening to some lame-ass speech right now, so I'll just go back to my fun life here being grounded and all... and maybe you can call me back when you feel like it or something... so... yeah. Bye!"
She hung up and groaned. Why did you even do that, Swan? That was probably the worst message ever left in history! And now all you have left to do is wait and mull over your pitiful life!
And so Emma waited.
She paced her room. She ate chips. She sang. She did pull-ups on her window frame. She ate more chips. She went to the bathroom. She scrolled through Twitter. She tried braiding her hair. She failed, and vowed never to do that again. She waited.
And after hours of doing nothing, her phone finally rang. At the first note of the Star Wars theme song, she accepted the call.
"Hello?" Emma said, maybe a little too quickly.
"Ooh, it looks like someone was waiting all day to hear from me." Regina purred, and Emma nearly swooned.
"Yeah. Did you get my message?" Emma asked stupidly.
"Yes, obviously. Did you think I would call you first?" Regina said.
"Well, maybe, I don't know." Emma said.
"So, what did you want to talk about?" Regina asked.
"What? You wrote the freaking note that said "Call me"!" Emma said.
"Oh, yes, that's right." Regina laughed, "Well, I wanted to say that I did you a favor by getting you out of here."
"A favor? I'm grounded!" Emma protested.
"That's not really my fault, is it?" Regina said.
"Yes it is! You claimed I sexually assaulted you!" Emma said.
"Well, I was really pissed off! You liked me, and I liked you, and then you denied me my God-given right to kiss a Swan! I thought I was doing a really good job seducing you!" Regina said.
"You were..." Emma said, trying to comprehend Regina's words. She liked me! And she admitted it!
"I was? Then why didn't you give in to your lusting? You know I get everything I want! I wasn't used to that! There are probably a thousand other guys who would have given anything to be in your position!" Regina said.
"And that's what ticked me off, Regina! I knew I was just another pawn for you to play! I didn't want to be that person." Emma said.
"Oh." Regina said quietly, "But you weren't. Don't you get it? I've never dated a girl! Ever!"
"You haven't?" Emma asked.
"No!" Regina said.
"Well, then, I'm flattered. But now I'm here, and you're there, and you kind of screwed us over." Emma pointed out.
"Not necessarily. When I get out of this camp, I'm asking my dad to move where you are. Even though your town is pretty pathetic, it's always good to try new things, I guess." Regina announced.
"Seriously?" Emma asked.
"Yeah. And now I've got to go, we've got our final activity for the day. Call me tomorrow?" Regina asked.
"Sure." Emma agreed.
"Then see you later." Regina hung up.
Emma stared at her phone for a few minutes, and then, after hearing her mother, went downstairs for dinner.
At that moment, Emma Swan was the happiest girl on Earth.