This was a fun one. I've been meaning to touch on this since the beginning, now has served as the perfect time. Enjoy!
The sky is ablaze with brilliant reds, oranges, and pinks as Nick sits out on a defunct bridge with a clear view. He dangles his feet over the edge as he peers down into the watery depths. One would think he learned something from hanging around shady back areas of the city, but he couldn't help it. He was compelled to return to this spot even though he hasn't been in years. He slipped out after dinner and without telling Judy. So that'll be fun when she shows up. Maybe he should go back before that happens. Any sane person would. And yet…he stays rooted to the spot.
He breathes in the air of the city and it is much more stifling than he remembers, even after having been back for a month. He got too used to Bunny Burrow after all. The sounds too, even this far out, they are more than a little irritating – overwhelming. He can't go back to the country though, obviously. He has to return to duty and get on with his life in the city that has always been his home. Of course he does.
"There you are!" Judy's voice pierces his thoughts.
Nick blinks. Huh. She found him faster than he thought she would. Then again, she is a marvelous tracker and at figuring out his tricks.
Judy sighs in exasperation as she speeds toward him. "What are you doing? Coming way out here – and without me." She tries to sound playfully offended. Yes, he about gave her a heart attack with his little disappearing act, but she can't treat him like a child. He is allowed to go where he pleases. When she comes close enough to glimpse his expression, however, she sees it is a wasted effort. Her brow creases and a frown curls her lips. "Nick?" Her voice is suddenly soft. "Are you ok?"
Nick shrugs. "You could call it that." He definitely isn't 'not okay' by the standards that have been set as of late.
Judy's frown deepens. "That means no."
"If you say so Carrots."
She takes a seat next to him. She holds out a canister of coffee she brought with her. "It's black. Just the way you like it."
Nick nods. "Thanks." He takes it from her and sips on it. It isn't as warm as it should be, but that's to be expected when she had to trek across half the city to get here.
Judy studies his face for a long moment. "What's wrong?" She finally decides to say. "You were doing so well." At least she thought so.
Nick isn't sure how to put it into words and thinks about it so long he is sure Judy starts to get even more worried than she already is. Then he says, "It's just a lot to handle."
Judy's ear flicks slightly as she cocks a brow at him. "What is?"
"Everything." He sighs. "The people, the noises, the air, just…everything."
Judy half laughs. "You saying you miss my little hick town?" She grins and nudges him.
Nick manages a tiny smile. "Yeah, I guess so." Still, he knows that isn't quite getting at the truth of the matter either. He just hopes Judy doesn't see it.
Judy narrows her eyes and her ears fold down. She leans in closer, inches from him.
Nick side eyes her. He shifts away, her scrutinous gaze making him more than a little uncomfortable. "What?" She knows. Dang it all she sees right through him every time.
"You're doing that half-truth thing again." She points a finger in his face. "You know I hate that."
Nick chuckles, cursing himself as his nervousness shines through in the sound. "What? What thing? I don't have a thing."
"Nicholas Wilde." She crosses her arms.
Nick drops his front. The light vanishes from his eyes as he sighs. "Look, it's personal, ok? I don't like to, I mean…it's not something that I bring up."
"That means you have never told anyone." It should be a question, but Judy says it with the utmost confidence.
Nick's lips pull tight. "Yeah…" He sets the coffee down between them. He focuses his gaze on the multicolored sky once more, refusing to look her in the eye. Maybe if he pretends she isn't there she'll go away. Ha. As if.
"I know I've told you a million times by now and that you aren't ever going to listen to me at this point, but you can tell me anything." She grabs the coffee and takes a sip.
Nick snorts and a smile wisps across his face at her attempt to cut through tension. "You know I drank out of that, right?" He still doesn't look at her.
Judy shrugs. "Coffee is coffee." She sticks her tongue out behind the container.
Nick knows her reaction without seeing it. "You don't even like black. You think it's too bitter."
"What do you want from me?" She throws a hand in the air. "I'm thirsty. This is what I've got. So I'm drinking it." She takes another gulp and again makes a face.
Nick snickers. "Dumb bunny."
Judy grins as she sets the cup between them once more. "I try my best." She turns her gaze to the horizon and basks in the beauty there. It is certainly the perfect place to forget one's troubles, at least it would be if not for the fact is in a rather shady part of town. But she can see why Nick came, it is the closest to the country around here. As for his secret reason…she still isn't sure yet. But perhaps letting the issue go will prove to be just what is needed to get him to bring it up himself.
A silence descends on them and with it Nick's smile slips away. The faint light in his eyes diminishes and his suffocating thoughts return. He hates this. He hates this feeling that creeps up on him when he least expects it. She's right, he was doing well. But then…now…he isn't. He's sure admitting his troubles will help absolutely nothing – it never has in the past – but honestly, what harm is there in trying? "Judy…"
Judy's ears stand on end, but she reacts as coolly as possible. She doesn't even turn her head in his direction. She acts as if she is still watching the sunset, peering at him only from the corner of her eye. She knows there is no better way to coax Nick to continue.
"I'm homesick."
Judy blinks. "Oh." Confusion creases her face. "You grew up in the city, right? Was it around here?"
"Sort of. At least, I came here a lot."
Judy frowns. If he really is homesick then why is the city so unsettling to him now? Shouldn't he be glad to be back? "Well…" Judy bites her lip. "Why don't you just go home then?"
Nick stiffens. He clenches his hands around the fur of his legs. "I can't." His voice is thick.
Judy's ears curl down and her eyes widen. She chews on the inside of her lip as her mind races with all the terrible possibilities and reasons she should just let it go. Still, she started this, so she has to see it through. So she braces herself as she asks, her voice wavering, "Why?"
"There won't be anyone there." His throat tightens as emotion wells up and his eyes burn with tears. Finnick is the only person that knows about his parents and he is also the only person to have seen him cry, but that was when he was twelve. It wasn't as big a deal for a child to cry.
"Oh…" He did say he had been running his popsicle scam since he was twelve. What other reason was there for a kid to be doing that if not because he had to in order to survive. "Nick, I…" She reaches slowly toward him, stopping as he continues to speak.
"I'd forgotten what it was like…having a family. A mother." His breathing hitches and his ears lay back. "But your house…your mother…it brought it all back." Quiet sobs slither past his lips. Still, he reigns the tears in. Not that it matters. His sobs are proof enough of his weakness.
Judy freezes. His sobs catch her off guard. He has never cried in front of her, never allowed himself to break even the slightest bit. No, no, this isn't so different. Nick has been upset before. Now he is merely allowing his hurt to show visibly. She wraps her arms around his and leans against him. "I'm sorry, Nick." She doesn't know what else to say, what else can be said.
Nick pinches the bridge of his nose. He breathes deeply in and out, trying to steady his breathing. "That's why I hustled people…" He rambles on, each word edging him closer to a breakdown. "Why I drink…" He trembles. "Why I'm such trouble."
Judy gapes and a fire lights in her eyes. "Nick," She grabs his tie and pulls him down so they are face to face. "Do not say that. No matter how many hustles you pulled, no matter how many bad habits you have, or how much you drive me and everyone else crazy sometimes, you are not trouble." Her expression softens along with her tone. "Not to me."
Nick finally cracks. Tears spill forth and trickle down his face. He encloses her in an embrace, pulling her tight to him. For once it is he that dampens her fur with his tears.
Judy hugs him back. "Oh, Nick…" She wishes she could will away all this hurt, but no one is so powerful. Much like everything else these past few months, all she can do is be there for him.
It takes a while, but Nick eventually calms down. He releases Judy and wipes an arm across his eyes. "Thanks, Carrots." He looks pointedly away from her, to hide the tear tracks still matting his fur. "I…"
"It's okay." She doesn't want to make him explain himself. Even if he wasn't dealing with something so heavy, no one should have to justify crying. It's just a stress release. "I'm always happy to help…to be here for you." She smiles tenderly up at him.
Nick smiles. "You always are."
"But I expect to be paid back in full for my services." Judy leaps to her feet. She throws a smirk in his direction.
Nick blinks up at her.
"I'll settle for a coffee. No, two. Yeah, definitely two." She nods. "One to make up for that god awful stuff I drank." She gags. "The other for being just plain awesome." She grins.
Nick chuckles. "Sly bunny." He pushes himself to his feet. "Always working an angle."
"You bet. Especially when it gets me a free French Vanilla."
Nick shakes his head. "How are you a real cop? Only frauds drink that glorified milk."
Judy sticks her tongue out. "Dumb fox."
Nick grins. "If you say so."
"I do." She hooks her arm around his and they head home together. After this stressful event they'll surely sleep well tonight.
Oh look headcanons. The only one outright stated is that i believe Nick's mom is dead. What other reason would he have for hustling at twelve? I only mention Finnick as having seen Nick cry here, but I'll go into more detail. I think Finnick is older than Nick. I also think Finnick found Nick shortly after his mother died and taking pity on him showed him how to hustle and they have been friends and business partners ever since. I am just one big sack of sad with these drabbles. I'm sorry. lol It's what I do best. Please review!