Something Good Can Work

Ben sat in the back of the ambulance and watched as Jackson and Miranda rolled an oxygenated April into the hospital. He stepped out of the truck easily with a warming blanket wrapped around him with the baby in his arms. Ben smiled as he looked down at the girl. She was so small and new and so beautiful. He walked into the hospital and took the baby to the NICU. After he showered and changed into his scrubs, he headed off to find Miranda. Instead, he found Jackson, sitting on an empty bed outside of the ORS and cradling his newborn daughter in his arms. Ben sat next to them, not speaking. He didn't know what to say or where to begin. He inhaled sharply. "I tried my best," he said, his voice steady. He wasn't trying to apologize because he hadn't done anything wrong. But he was trying to put his friend at ease. Ben knew that although Jackson and April were divorced, they loved each other very much. "Please know that if I could've done more—"

"I know," Jackson said cutting him off. "I do." Ben bit his bottom lip. They couldn't do anything but wait.

After several long minutes, Jackson spoke breaking the silence. "Ben, uh, April and I…" He cleared his throat. "We'd discussed this earlier and, um, we would love for you to be the baby's godfather."

A smile moved across his face. "You don't have to…"

"No, no, no, we were thinking about it—way before. April wanted to tell you weeks ago, but I told her that I needed to be the one to do it and I didn't. And then I forgot. Totally slipped my mind." Ben shook his head, smiling. "So, will you? Please say yes, so April won't be disappointed and mad at me. Oh. And please pretend that I asked you weeks ago." Ben chuckled. "Look, you're my best friend and I'd love for you to be my daughter's godfather. Plus, I want to thank you for today. Whatever happens." Both men were quiet.

Ben had never been asked to be anyone's godparent. It was quite an honor. He held out his hand. "Yes, of course, brother." Jackson shook Ben's outstretched hand. "Of course."

"Ahh, thank you, man." Ben looked at him. "Want to hold your goddaughter?" Jackson handed Ben the baby.

"What exactly does a godparent do?" Ben asked as he looked down at her and smiled widely as the baby sneezed. She was so gorgeous.

"I don't know. I think they… I mean, I guess you would take over if something were to happen to both April and I."

Ben scratched his head. It was almost overwhelming, but he loved that feeling. A feeling of total responsibility. It was one of the reasons why he loved being a surgeon. "Okay then." They laughed and shook hands again. Ben looked up and saw Miranda coming down the hall. He couldn't read her face. Was it good news or bad news? Please be good news, he thought.

"She's stable, Miranda said with a small smile of her own. Both Ben and Jackson let go of their breaths simultaneously. Jackson leaned forward, relaxed. Ben sat back, at peace. Finally he'd done something right. "Yeah, uh, Robbins is closing." Miranda looked down at the baby in Ben's arms. Before the incident rocked their worlds, there was talk about maybe trying for a baby of their own or possibly even adopting. The way Miranda looked at the baby, Ben couldn't imagine that she wasn't thinking about having one of her own. He was. Tuck was Miranda's son from her previous marriage, but the way Ben loved the boy was nothing less than fatherly. And although he was satisfied with the dynamic of the house, a baby was an amazing gift and choice, one that he wanted to take on. "Oh, your baby girl has a very strong mother." Jackson agreed. Miranda smiled brightly and Ben stared at her and the baby with admiration, trying to conceal a smile of his own. His wife or his Chief, he couldn't tell which one, looked at him. Either way, Ben knew that look well. She lowered her voice and her eyes: "Dr. Warren." The Chief. He watched her walk across the hall and handed the sleeping baby back to her father. Ben's legs felt like jelly as he followed her slowly. He was just going to listen. If he was going to get scolded, he didn't want to say anything that might upset her more. He licked his lips a little. "Dr. Robbins tells me that you showed superb technique under trying conditions." Ben straightened his spine and looked down at someone who was trying to be his Chief, but who was failing. The pride in her eyes was undeniable and he heard her voice crack and saw her eyes water. "She said you saved two lives today." Ben looked at one of them, asleep in her father's arms. And thought about the other one who would be just fine. A lump in Ben's throat prevented him from responding. Miranda put her hands together and clapped before throwing her arms around his neck, pulling him in. Ben's hand smoothed her back, mashing their bodies together. His face was cradled in her neck, just how he liked it. They held each other tightly. Honestly, they were long overdue for that kind of hug. The kind where they never wanted to let go. The kind that was better than kissing and almost as good as sex. They were each saying so much without saying anything at all. Just like when he'd followed her up the stairs after their impulsive lovemaking session. She'd eyed him as he walked into the room, made his way around the bed and got into it behind her. They were both still half-naked. But it wasn't about sex. She was crying and he was probably the reason. He wanted to ask what was wrong, but he was already pushing it by being in the bed. Baby steps. Ben didn't speak; he stroked Miranda's hair and hand, his fingers touching her wedding ring. He just held her, putting his strong arms around her body, closing the gap between them just the way she liked. She melted into him, becoming relaxed and he exhaled. Ben wanted to whisper in her ear and tell her it would all be okay. But who was he to make promises like that? He'd seen marriages go up in flames and disintegrate into nothing. And while he didn't ever think that could happen with him and Miranda—So he just kissed the back of her head. "You are just so amazing, Ben Warren," Miranda's voice said bringing him back to his current present. "I am so proud of you."