Just a brief author's note: Italics are again Harvey and Donna's thoughts. Enjoy and review if you want to. Always love hearing from you.

Together Forever (You Know I Love You Sequel)

Chapter 8-Reconciliation?

Before Esther and Harvey's one night stand, Harvey and Donna relationship became even more acrimonious. Jack Soloff had plotted with Louis to change the firm's compensation plan which affected Harvey's income more than anyone else's. Louis claimed that he was only supporting it to throw it back in Soloff's face to show that he really wanted to be friends with Harvey in light of Louis gladly accepting Donna as his secretarial replacement for Norma. Harvey had claimed there were no hard feelings between he and Louis, but there were. Harvey's panic attacks which he had been suffering from the minute Donna left him increased. Harvey then continued his therapy with and they were driving deep into the reasons behind his emotional ineptitude when Esther Litt had shown her pretty moonlit face inviting Harvey to drown his emotional confusion into a meaningless sex act. Like he had for so many years before he realized what he and Donna could have had together had he only fought for her.

The only good thing that really came out of that one night stand was the foundation of a reconciliation with his former secretary/lover. He finally realized that she was his and what she had sacrificed the last 12 years for him waiting at his beck and call and still carrying feelings for him whether he reciprocated or not. This realization, though, did little to encourage Harvey to return to Donna's bed. Harvey figured maybe he and Donna's romantic relationship was over for good because she had given him no sign that she wanted him back in her bed or her heart.

Perhaps we can return to friendship instead of avoiding each other like the plague or having a knock down drag out fight which somehow the entire firm knows of.

During those infamous divorce negotiations, Harvey realized that Donna, like Esther's husband, had sacrificed any dreams of her own to focus on the needs of Harvey's life. Donna almost entirely abandoned her acting aspirations with the exception of her playing Portia last year in a small theater group.

I was so proud of her last year when she had briefly returned to the stage. She was so beautiful and captivating and while I was never a Shakespeare fan I could have easily become one while I watched how beautifully she moved on stage and spoke so eloquently. Like I told her, I'm a Donna fan. I always will be.

Now that I have given Louis the other half of the bargain we agreed to for my handling of Esther's divorce, I must do something else. I still love Donna, but I know we weren't meant for each other...now. I still miss her and part of me needs for her to return to me if only to be my secretary again. Not that I don't like Gretchen. She's great but she's not Donna.

Donna watched Harvey approach.

She thought: What is it, Harvey? You only want to make me feel worse than I already do? Like more of a stranger? What can you want? I believe we have nothing left to say to one another except how great sex was again for a little while.

"Harvey, how can I help you?"

"I just wanted to thank you."

"For what?"

"For twelve years," Harvey stated with no prevarication. Smilingly, he turned around and walked back to his office.

Donna could not help smile and thought, perhaps, Harvey had finally grown up where she was concerned and that maybe there was a chance that they could at least become friends again.

A few weeks passed and Donna became precarious friends with Harvey's new secretary, Gretchen. Gretchen who had come to know how close Harvey and Donna had been through her friendship with Norma calculated that Donna had still not been quite ready to trust Harvey's professional needs to some other woman. Donna agreed that was probably why she seemed resentful. However once the air was cleared they both realized that Donna now worked for Louis and Gretchen could take good professional care of Harvey.

As Harvey approached his office in the morning after another session with Dr. Agard, Gretchen mentioned that August 26th was permanently blacked out on his calendar so she interpreted it as his birthday. However, Harvey never mentioned to Gretchen what that date meant. Instead he wandered back to the file room to see if Donna was there as she was not at her desk outside Louis' office. He found her shifting boxes from the metal shelves to a rolling cart. He could not help but notice her straight back and thin but strong arms with polished manicured hands lifting heavy file boxes from the shelf to the cart and back. His mind's eye was suddenly consumed by their last session of lovemaking back so many months ago when he thought they had finally found their way together and nothing would part them. Now, well, here they are.

Apparently, she so wrapped up in her work she has not heard me enter. I'll just step to the other side and surprise her.

Donna removes a box from the shelf and there stands the love of her life.

"Donna," Harvey says with a glint in his eye.

"Harvey," Donna answers back. What could he want now? She knew that look. He was going to ask her something that he was not sure she would like.

Donna moved further down the shelf taking another box from the shelf only to see Harvey's face again as he had not left the room.

"You look busy." I hope she says yes to my invitation. I hate being at odds with her. Sometimes she seems like my only friend. She is except for Mike.

"That's because I am busy," she says as she slides another box of files onto the shelf covering up Harvey's smiling face.

He decides to come around the shelf to face her.

"Too busy to come with me to Del Posto's on Wednesday?"

"We don't have to do that anymore. I don't work for you anymore. What would we be celebrating?"

"Then why was it still marked?"

"Because I did that a long time ago, and when I left your desk I forgot to erase it."

"Well, then, instead of celebrating the day you came to my desk, how about we celebrate two weeks of being friends?"

"It's only been a week and a half," Donna stated back sarcastically.

"Really, Donna, I wants us back to being friends," Harvey said.

Donna turned around and started to push the file cart in front of her and says, "See you Wednesday, Harvey."

Donna walked away pushing the cart in front of her leaving from the other side of the file room.

I wonder what this means. Has he completely forgiven me for going to work for Louis? Does he mean just "friends" or friends with benefits? I saw him and Esther looking at one another. I know he's slept with her. So, I guess that mean he's giving our whole romantic relationship the heave-ho. Well, we were always good friends. I will forgive him and I will try to forget. We were on a "break". Bullshit reasoning but if we can be civil to one another then it will be worth the separation. I will try not to be jealous besides I have Mitchell now. Although I will alway love Harvey, I will try not to be heartbroken. I will just have to move on.

Trying not to get her hopes high once again, she anticipated a good dinner and good conversation with her former boss and lover.

The atmosphere of Del Posto's was always romantic. Every year Harvey and Donna would celebrate her coming to work for him. For many years, Harvey wanted to end the evening with Donna making love to her. Making love, yes, not just sex because love was what it always was between them. It went beyond the physical as it should when people want to show their love for one another. However, her damned rule and his promise to keep it and the fear that Donna would leave him restrained him from showing what he really wanted for the both of them. It also kept Donna working by his side.

Unbeknowst to Harvey, Donna secretly harbored feelings of wanting Harvey to skip her rule and take her to his bed. The more reasonable intelligent Donna who thought with her head and not her heart was always glad they had not satisfied that particular hunger because of the awkwardness between them which would result. It would be very hard to maintain that on the lowdown in the gossip shop which was Pearson, Specter, Litt.

Harvey looked into Donna's eyes and he immediately felt guilty. He knows he should never have taken Esther to bed.

I know she knows. Yet she hasn't said anything. She wouldn't. I dangled women in front of her for years, but then we hadn't been together and then separated. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all..

"...well he actually said that..." Donna said in the middle of her story about Louis.

"No, he didn't," Harvey responded coming back to the present moment.

"Yes. Not only did he say it, but I had to transcribe it from his dictaphone!"

Harvey took a sip of his wine. It felt so right to be with her again. Just to be able to talk with her and share things.

"You know, I haven't thought of Jack Soloff and his shit for at least an hour. We should do this more often."

"Well, Harvey, I'm not sure how Mitchell will feel about that." Donna ventured.

Let's see if he leaps to the sex thing then I'll be able to tell if he slept with Esther or not.

"Mitchell? Who's Mitchell?" Harvey was feeling a little hot under the collar feeling a sudden swell of jealousy. More reasonably, he then thought: well we are on a break.

"Just a man I met and dated a few times in the last few weeks since we've been on a break."

Harvey put down his wineglass and tried not to act like the jealous boyfriend. He hoped or did he that maybe Mitchell was the right guy and all that sexual tension between he and Donna had just been the fact that they worked together for a long time, had sex once, and then tried again years later.

No, I love her. I was wrong to not let her go work for Louis without resentment. It was logical and we could have still been together after work, at lunch, or anytime when we weren't at the office. Now she has this new guy and he would be a fool if he didn't fall in love with her because who couldn't? If I fight for her and ask her to come back as my girlfriend, would she now? If she did, I would show her how much I love her and want her back. I hope she forgives me about Esther.

"Well, tell me about him," Harvey asked pretending he was not jealous.

"He's funny, intelligent, and he has nothing to do with the practice of law," Donna said smiling.

With a funny little pause, Donna continued, "I tell you that to let you know that I am not jealous of you and Esther."

I knew it! She figured I would sleep with her. What was I thinking? She's Donna.

"What do you mean me and Esther?"

"Oh, please, Harvey. I saw you two together and you were both mooning over one another. I'd have to be dumb and blind not to notice. I caution you, though. If I saw it then Louis will see it. You did promise him that wouldn't you sleep with her and you did. So you'd better tell him."

Harvey was taken aback by her reaction. He thought for sure she would have thrown her wine in his face for sleeping with Esther although they were on a break.

I thought she would have been more upset and now she's asking me to tell Esther's brother because I made a stupid promise. Esther is an adult and I am an adult and we both made a decision. It had nothing to do with Louis. I know he feels protective because it's me, but I wonder at Donna's statement. Why is she not harboring resentment toward me? I wonder if she slept with Mitchell. Why else would she not be jealous? Maybe we aren't right for one another as lovers and much better as friends and coworkers?

"Louis isn't rational with things that don't concern his sister. Besides your radar is way off. I'm not sleeping with Esther. We had a moment when we bonded over her divorce but it was only once."

"Well, anyway, despite what it seems you should really tell Louis. If he finds out some other way, it will really be hell."

Donna took a sip of her wine to stop the downward spiral of conversation. I knew it! The minute he was rid of me he sleeps with another woman with no regret or remorse. That's not like Harvey. He's always loyal. If I threw it up in his face, he would use that bullshit reasoning that we were on a break. I didn't think that excuse worked well in "Friends" when it was used and in real life it doesn't work either.

Well, I told him I wasnt' jealous, but I am. I always have been. He was always too self centered not to notice before. I thought he had changed from the day he told me loved me and wanted me for himself.

Harvey put down his wineglass trying to understand how Donna was feeling and thinking.

Woman, what are you thinking? I know you say you're not jealous but you are. I can see it. I'm sorry. I knew it wouldn't take me long to fuck up our relationship. That's why I fought my feelings for so long. I just don't understand how separating was right for us in the first place. I wonder how serious it is between you and Mitchell? Sometimes I wish I could read you as well as you read me. Do I have a right to be jealous? I'm always jealous of any man you've ever been with whether I declared you as mine or not. Now it is plain to me why that has always been: I am in love with you and I always have been. I was just too self centered and too poorly emotionally equipped to have wanted only one woman and think that I was worthy. Dr. Agard's therapy has certainly thrown that in my face just like the wine you should throw in my face, Donna, for being a dick about our relationship outside the office.

They finished their wine and then Ray drove Donna and Harvey to their respective apartments. They both laughed easily with one another but the deeper emotional feelings they felt became buried. They seemed farther apart than before they had briefly become a couple. The night could have easily turned into something more meaningful if either one had shown the other jealousy over their respective situations. However, Donna did not show how hurt she was by Harvey sleeping with Esther and Harvey would not show Donna his jealousy when he felt he really had no right. Suddenly, their very complicated relationship just became even more complicated.

Harvey returned to his condo and looked at himself in the mirror.

What have I done? The one woman I wanted and could see spending my life with now has found someone else.

Harvey panicked. He started to sweat and breathe stertorously. He recognized the onset of a panic attack. He wanted to call Donna but he was too ashamed to let her know that she was the partial reason why this kept happening to him. He took a drink of water and sat down on his bed. He had removed his suit jacket and tore at his tie loosening it, but other than that he was fully clothed. He had to calm his nerves. It was a good thing he was seeing in the morning. He took some deep breaths and calmed his nerves by thinking of how beautiful Donna looked tonight. Still dressed in her powder blue dress from work enticing him and other men with her show of cleavage, her hair so lush and shiny in the candelight and her hands holding the stem of the wineglass as she used it to flirt with him by actually batting her eyelashes at him. She flirted on the outside with him, but in her eyes she understood him and did her best to warn him of repercussions with Esther.

Eventually, Harvey took a calming shower and went straight to bed having found his pills and slipped into a dreamless sleep.

Harvey! You didn't even try to lie which is one of the characteristics I truly love about you, but you actually slept with Esther! When I brought it up I did it for two reasons: one to warn you about what will happen when Louis finds out and to see if you might really want to go back to a more than platonic relationship again. I know you still love me in that way and I know I still love you. So why?

Suddenly Donna's cell rang and she saw the number was Mitchell's.

"Mitchell? It's late." Donna answered having looked at the clock and it had just turned 10:30 pm.

"I'm sorry. I just couldn't help thinking about how our date ended the other night," Mitchell said.

"Because I wasn't ready for you to kiss me? I'm sorry. I told you that I do have a steady boyfriend but right now we're separated. You said you were ok with that," Donna hurriedly protested.

"Yes, I know I did. However, I think he's a fool for being separated from you. If he really doesn't want you and you don't want him, I'm right here. You are a beautiful and fantastic woman, Donna. Don't let him push you around, ok?" Mitchell said.

"No one pushes me around. I'm always in control. I thank you for treating me so nice and being understanding about my current situation. Most guys wouldn't stand for that."

"I'm not most guys, Donna. I just want you to know that. Well, can we go out tomorrow night?" Mitchell asked hopefully.

"I guess so," Donna said haltingly. Oh Harvey tell me do you want me or not? I can't go on with these mixed messages. "What time?"

"About 7:30. Will you be home from work by then?"

"Yes, I should be."

"Good because the curtain goes up at 8:00 pm".

"Where are we going?"

"Nope. I want to surprise you. Now get some sleep Ms. Paulsen," Mitchell said.

"Goodnight, Mitchell. See you tomorrow night," Donna said.

"Goodnight, Donna. Sweet dreams."

Donna hung up the phone. "Mmmm" she said aloud to herself and not completely forgetting her anger against Harvey she took a cleansing bubble bath and went to bed.